#sehkurt

he always wants to but he's like ted who keeps seeing mother's foot or finds her umbrella but never actually meets her.

Like, he always pays attention to see if he's performing and then it turns out that he has no money and if he has money, the tickets are out and when he manages to buy the tickets it turns out that he needs to stay longer at work or the guy he's dating doesn't want him to go because his kurt obsession is freaky or molly has a breakdown and Sam needs to sit all night on skype with her or his friend is sick or he needs yo finish assignment for school or he has important meeting

then one night he manages to go see Kurt performing

Sam still in Lima knows he has some kind of feelings for Kurt, and this feelings only get stronger when he moves out due to distance (it's easier to idealize things you're away from) and missing him - Sam keeps telling himself that he's just confused and he has "Kurt problem", that he's not necessarily gay because he knows when girl is pretty, and that's what being straight is all about, isn't it?

He starts slowly forgetting Kurt when he comes out of the closet, because admitting to himself that he's gay takes that - thinking about himself and his own feelings and not about Kurt.

Years after, when they get together, Sam fully realizes Kurt was the first person he has ever loved, the first person who was so kind to Sam and saw him for who he was and appreciated him for it (the second was Kyle) and that these bottled feelings towards him never truly died and he always has been important, even if just as a boy who gave him clothes.

Sam keeps wondering if he should tell Kurt how he feels about him, something tells him he should be honest, but on the other hand, WHY? They can't be together anyway, because Sam is leaving, Kurt is dating Blaine and Sam is afraid he would get mad that Sam has been hiding it from him for so long. (and meanwhile Kurt was the only openly gay kid at McKinley)

And he has this mess in his head and then Kurt touches his arm and tells him to take care of himself and write or something, it's sweet and heartbreaking, and he smiles sadly, and Sam decides not to ruin this perfect last moment.