#seenoversunqueue

“Andrew?” I murmur, my voice still heavy with sleep. I continue to paw at his side of the bed until I feel his abandoned pillow. I force my eyes to open and glance around the room, and realize I am most definitely alone. I prop myself up, a little sad I missed him this morning. But then out of the corner of my eye I notice a soft pale blue square against our dark emerald sheets. I lean over and grab it, becoming a little giddy when I realize it’s a note. 

The goddess of the day has risen, how I am unworthy to love such an ethereal being. 

When you are ready, there is breakfast downstairs. 

All my love, ~A.

I read and reread the small note probably a dozen times. His words always have a way of piercing into my heart directly and making a home inside. I hold the soft blue square to my chest and wonder how lucky I had to have been to have found Andrew. 

I slip on a matching cream colored silk set, Andrew’s favorite, and slowly make my way down to the kitchen. I glance around our small home as I walk through the hallways and wonder how we were able to move into here only four months ago but it’s felt like forever. It feels right. As I round the corner, the aroma of breakfast hits me. 

“Love, it smells divine,” I say. I’m greeted with silence in return, just another small pale blue square. 

Light of the day, your breakfast awaits you warming in the oven. I didn’t want to wake you- you looked so peaceful, but I had to run to the studio this morning just for some final touches.

I will be home in a few hours to you, my love, I promise. 

For now, eat your breakfast. Get your strength for the day. Look for more notes. I have plans for you. 

All my love,

~A. 

Again, I can’t help but reread his words, hearing his voice as if he’s reading them directly to me. Once I tuck the note in a safe place I open the oven to look at what awaits me. Andrew wasn’t lying. A fully prepared breakfast sits on a plate in the warm oven. He’s left oven mitts for me on top of the stove, which I grab eagerly. Breakfast smells even better when it’s sitting right in front of me. Veggie bacon, eggs sprinkled with cheese and spinach, toast with butter and maple sugar. 

As I sit down at my plate ready to devour the spread in front of me I spot Andrew’s discarded robe on the seat next to me. I don’t even hesitate as I reach out for it, wrapping myself in his scent and warmth. I feel even more relaxed now, if that was even possible, as I eat my meal.

I finish up my toast basking in the silence of our home. I can’t help but wonder when Andrew will be home, so I go find my phone to send him a text. 

Y/N: Thank you for breakfast, my love. I miss you.

A: You are so welcome, my dove. Look for the notes. I’ll be home before you know it. I miss you more. 

My heart flutters at his words like always as I go to put my cell phone in his robe pocket. Sliding it into the soft pocket, I swear I hear a paper-like crunch. I’m quick to take my phone right back out and stick my hand in to feel for the noise. It doesn’t take long before I pull out a small pale blue square identical to the ones before it. 

I knew you would put this on, my sweet. I have never known such a love as the love you give to me, I am forever in awe of you. 

Till we are bones, my love.

All my love, 

~A.

My heart thumps in my chest. I take the little note and add it to my ever-growing pile. Snagging a cup of tea, I walk around our sunlit living room and tend to our ‘plant children’. The monstera has always been my favorite, even though I tell Andrew they’re all my favorites. They do say you’re not supposed to have a favorite child. I don’t hesitate as I walk up to her, murmuring my good mornings and inspecting her as I grasp my mug of tea, bringing it to my lips. As soon as Andrew called me his, he kept my favorite kind of tea in superfluous supply wherever he lived- just for me. It doesn’t take me long to notice a little blue square nestled in her leaves. Of course he knew. 

Seeing you wearing my ring drives me mad. Watching you in the mornings, with it shining off the light as you talk to our plants is one of my favorite rituals. The way you speak to them with such kindness, such empathy- I cannot wait to raise our children together. A goddess such as yourself will be perfect with them. 

To the blues.

All my love,

~A.

I quickly glance down at my ring once I finish reading his words, immediate feelings of giddiness fill my chest. The perfect moss agate ring sits in a golden crown on my finger. I touch it, remembering the moment Andrew got down on his knee. He is always nervous when it comes to us- but not that day. That day, he was so confident. Bringing me to his hometown, showing me all of the places he used to go as a ‘young lad’ as he’d say. That trip I knew I needed him forever, and I guess he needed me just as much. I watched as he spoke Gaelic with the townsfolk in passing, his voice hitting my ears in such a dreamy way. 

It was when he brought me up to his favorite hill, the one he watched the sunset every day when he lived here, that he asked me to be his. Looking at the setting sun, wrapped in each other's arms, he feigned that he had forgotten something, and got up and started to look around. 

‘Andrew, what’s going on?’ I had said to him. When he turned to me his green eyes were the brightest I’ve ever seen them, I swear. 

‘Love, can you stand for me?,’ he said.

I think subconsciously I knew what was happening, even if I didn’t want to believe it. Tears freely fell from my eyes as he poured his heart and soul out to me, reaching out every so often to wipe a tear or give me a lingering kiss on my forehead. When he finally got down on his knee, I was a sobbing wreck. I can’t remember what he said, just me nodding and practically screaming ‘Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!’. 

Now his ring, his beautiful, intricate golden ring just for me sits on my finger. I sit in his chair, even though it’s usually both of us squished into it every night, and play with my ring. I watch as it hits the sunshine and sends dancing light around the room. It’s then, as I’m looking at the light, I notice another small pale blue note. I practically run to it, ready to read more of Andrew’s words. I take a moment once I have it to enjoy the anticipation before I read it.

Once the Gods realize you have escaped with their golden wings I’ll be in so much trouble. 

But, for now, you are mine. Do they know you’re here, love? Did I have it wrong and you were sent just for me? 

I’ll never be sure, but I’ll be eternally grateful for you. 

All my love,

~A. 

He’s trying to kill me I swear to anyone who is listening. It’s never been an act with Andrew, this has always been him. The love and adoration he gives me is unmatched. I can’t help but feel like I’m the luckiest person with him. I finish the rest of my tea, adding my two new notes to my pile that won’t seem to stop growing. 

I make my way to our shared bathroom and am a little surprised when I see another note. He truly thought of everything. I do my morning routine to try and prolong reading his letter, the anticipation is delicious. Once I do finish taking care of myself I carefully peel his note off of the mirror and finally allow myself to read it.

I cannot wait to see those eyes shine just for me. Thinking about it now I swear my heart skips an entire beat. That can’t be healthy, but you- you are my own personal drug. Stronger than all the others there is you. I need you. 

All my love,

~A. 

My eyes scan his letter too many times, taking in the way he writes his t’s and dots his i’s. I take out my phone and pull up my texts to Andrew.

Y/N: I need you as bad as you need me, love. I hope studio time is going well. Come home to me soon. 

A: You are the very air I breathe, my dove. See you soon. 

My heart flutters knowing he’ll be home soon. I decide I’ll stay in his robe and his favorite silk set and surprise him. Confident in that decision, I grab the book I’m currently reading and snuggle back up on our chair while I wait for him. I scroll on my phone for a bit, getting lost in social media for a little too long. Once I finally resign and open my book, a final little blue note falls out onto my lap. I can’t help but laugh, and wonder a little when he even did all of this. I waste no time reading the note. 

In every lifetime, I hope to find you. Our souls are destined to be intertwined throughout the centuries. You are the only one for me. 

I can’t wait to kiss you soon.

All my love,

~A. 

My heart is fully melted. All of his words from this morning play on repeat as I stare at this one note. How can one man be so fucking eloquent? I’m so lost in thought, I don’t hear the front door open or close.

“Dove?” Andrew shouts from the doorway. I’m on my feet in seconds, after all of these notes I missed my man something fierce this morning. He laughs when he sees me, arms outstretched ready for me. “There’s my dove. I hope you liked my notes this morning.” He says to me inbetween interrupting kisses. 

“Loved them? Oh Andrew, you have no idea. You know, I missed waking up to you this morning.” 

“I’m sorry dove, let me make it up to you.” He hoists me up in his arms and quickly kicks off his shoes before walking down the hallway to our bedroom. My laughter echoes in the hall, I’ve never been so in love. 

Crush - Tessa Violet "You make it difficult to not overthink, And when I'm with you I turn all shades of pink, I wanna touch you but don't wanna be weird."

“What are the odds I can sweet talk you into going to this show with me?” his voice rings through my phone. “As friends… obviously.” His sweet little laugh fills the air.

“Mmm, what kind of show are we talking about?” The smirk on my face would be undeniable if he could see me right now. I’m supposed to be doing some work, but instead, I’m pacing the house. 

“Some of the bar regulars kinda have a band and gave me tickets to go see them,” he tells me.

“Your brothers don’t want to go with you?” I ask. Seems odd that they wouldn’t want to go with him, especially if it’s people they also probably know.  

“Well.. Josh has to work and I don’t think Sam would come,” his voice trailing off a bit. 

“Danny?” 

“He’s also working– I can’t leave Josh completely alone there,” he tells me, making me laugh at the idea of him being afraid to leave Josh at the bar alone. 

“Well then,” I say, through a sigh, “I suppose..” 

“I mean, if you don’t want to come hang out with me…” overdramatizing his sad tone, which I can’t say didn’t make me chuckle at him. 

“Oh, stop,” I quip back. “What time do I need to be ready?”

“Doors are at 8 p.m., but it’s within walking distance of the bar, so if you want to meet me there… Well, here.” 

“Alright, but you have to supply me a drink if they’re going to start screaming.”

I can hear the smile on his face when he says, “Sounds like a deal.”  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

As we walk up to the venue, everybody is in tight black skinny jeans and beanies. Oh no, it’s gonna be all heavy music, isn’t it? I just follow him closely, staying just behind him as we get closer to the doors. I just look around, taking in the atmosphere and trying not to look paranoid. 

He glances over at me for a second before talking to the person at the doors. We only stood there for a second before we were let in. Pulling open the door and letting me through, the venue is small, and there’s a fair amount of people here. 

“Should I just buy you a drink now?” his lips basically grazing my ear to ask.

“Considering the crowd, I’m going to say yes, please,” I try to speak up so he can hear me, making him laugh.

“A deal is a deal, come on,” he says, holding out his hand. My fingers intertwine with his as he leads the way over to the bar. His grip on me is strong, which I’m grateful for, considering the amount of people we’re weaving through. 

“What are you feeling tonight?” he asks. “I don’t think I’ve seen you drink a beer, so I’m sorry in advance.” 

“Whatever they have for Downeast works for me,” I look over at him as he's reading the list of options. Finding it difficult not just to admire him; his side profile really is something to write home about. 

He walks up to the small bar that they have, getting the bartender's attention quickly and ordering. He looks back over at me, pulling his eyebrows together for a split second as I stand there, probably looking a little lost. I mimic him, scowling at him. I don’t know what kind of conversation we’re having right now, but the corners of his lips start to creep upward as we stare at each other. That must be the smile Quinn was talking about. He slightly bobs his head back and forth to the song playing through the speakers, and I can’t stop myself from laughing at him. My laugh pulled the full smile out of him, teeth showing and all. He really is cute. 

After grabbing our drinks, he comes back to me, holding my drink out to me. Excitedly, I took it from him before pushing him in front of me to lead the way. I stay as close to him as I can, hooking one finger into his back pocket so he can’t get too far away. 

He finds a spot off to the side for us, not too close to the stage, as the first band starts. The first scream into the microphone makes me jump; candidly, this isn’t my genre. I can hear him giggling next to me as he sips on his beer. Shooting him a look, even though I can’t hold it for very long before I’m laughing with him. 

“Am I supposed to know what he’s saying?” I say, leaning into him. 

“Absolutely not,” he says, taking another sip. It’s wild to see him drink at all, especially just a beer. Seeing him act so normal outside of the bar is almost refreshing. It’s nice to see him be a person and not be worried about whatever is going on in that building. Maybe we have more in common than I thought. 

People were still filtering in while the first band played, and now we’re watching as the next one is about to go on. It’s funny to watch them have to soundcheck their own stuff, but I haven’t been to many shows this small. 

The lights go back out, and the band loudly announces their presence. This time, I was a little more prepared for it, but what I wasn’t expecting was the crowd. 

I hear the singer say something about a “pit,” and before I know it, everybody is thrashing around. What the fuck? I’m sure I look terrified, never having been to a show like this. I can’t take my eyes off the slew of people basically just throwing punches and shoving each other. It spreads like wildfire as more and more people start joining. 

Very suddenly, Jacob’s arm wraps around me pulling me back to him. His chest rose and fell against me, his arm still wrapped around my waist, his hand resting against my stomach.  Oh okay. 

His face leans closer to my ear, “I should have warned you.” 

I tilt my head back against his chest so he can lean towards me, “It’s okay. It’s mesmerizing,” I giggle, knowing it sounds silly. 

His other arm wrapped around me, carefully holding his drink still. My heart flutters when he does it. I let myself relax against him, and his arms tighten slightly. This is making being here worth it. 

We stayed like that through most of that band's set. He would keep moving us further from everyone, which I appreciated—but never moving his arms from around me except for the occasional sip of his beer.  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

“Jake!” startles me as the two regulars from the bar approach us. They all do that one boy handshake that will never make sense to me before one of them turns to me. 

“Oh! I’m sorry I didn’t know you came with someone,” one of them says. 

“She was gracious enough to come keep me company,” Jake says, glancing over at me.  

I stand there listening to them and sipping on my drink when I feel something brush against my thigh. Without being obvious, I look down, seeing his hand suspiciously close to my leg. He taps me a few more times as he talks. Does he not realize what he’s doing? 

I occasionally chime in but mostly just listen as they go on about the other bands that are going to be playing. Watching as he would laugh with them and really just take him on while he was out in the wild. His free hand settled on my lower back, just softly scratching, which was weirdly comforting. 

“Wanna go outside for a minute?” one of the boys asked loudly. Jacob looked at me wide-eyed, but I just nodded at him. 

“Yeah, for sure.” He tells them. His hand quickly found mine before we made our way through the venue. He kept squeezing gently until I would do it back.

Once making it outside, the few guys who had been talking to him all started lighting cigarettes, Jacob included—keeping it as far away from me as possible when he wasn’t actively inhaling and breathing the smoke straight up to try and not have it near me. I had never said anything about him smoking or even in general, but it’s ..nice that he doesn’t want to force it on me. 

Although I usually find smoking to be a little less than pleasant, for some reason, watching him is different. Maybe my cider just hit harder than I expected, but how it sits on his lip and how he casually holds it between his index and middle finger. Why is it… hot? 

As we stood there, I continued to listen from inside, not really knowing what to say. I stood close to him and occasionally peeked at my phone, but the people-watching here was a little too good that I practically forgot I had it with me. I don’t know if he was worried about me or if he needed comfort, but he was subtly holding my hand, only our ring and pinky fingers intertwined. 

“Do you wanna head back to the bar?”

I look over at him, “If you want to,” not wanting to feel like I’m making him leave. 

“I was mostly here for them,” he whispers, “plus we can make Josh give us better drinks that way.” 

“Are you trying to get me drunk again?” I tease him quietly. 

“I would never dream of it,” he says with a little wink before turning back to the little group that’s formed. He said his goodbyes with the weird handshake hug again, and they all waved at me as we walked off. 

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

We sat at the end of the bar for a while, watching Josh make drinks. Just talking about the show and how he feels terrible for making me go through it. 

“It wasn’t that bad,” I admit, “watching everybody was fun.” 

“It’s a special kind of crowd, isn’t it?” His smile sneaks out with that one. He sips on the last of his drink, sliding it over for Josh to grab. Tapping on his phone screen and looking back over to me. 

“I may let him leave since it’s calmed down,” he starts, “are you going to head home? I can escort you to your car before I relieve him.” 

What if I don’t want to go home? What are you talking about? The most relaxed I’ve felt has been when I have basically fallen asleep on the phone with him.. What if I just.. stay? 

“I think I should probably stay here, don’t you?” I ask him. “Just since I’ve been drinking and whatnot.” Something possesses me when I bat my eyelashes at him a few times before sliding my hand onto his thigh. His cheeks flush instantly at gestures. 

“You’re so right,” he chokes out. “You can stay with me.” The excited nerves flow through my body when he says it. 

“I’ll just keep you company while you close,” I tell him, “it’ll be like last weekend!” Smiling at me as he stands up, he quickly glances over to see Josh fully invested in a conversation with someone when he moves around the bar, standing in front of me. He holds a hand out towards me; instinctually, I reach my hand out to him. He pulls it to him, pressing his lips against my knuckles for a second, giving me a slow wink as he lets go gently. 

I said ‘goodnight’ to Josh after he was able to head out for the night, and then there I sat. I was just having little conversations with Jake when I could and scrolling on my phone when he was busy. I was intensely ignoring the email my boss had sitting in my inbox.  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Finally, we hustle up the stairs to his apartment once the bar is closed. He quickly unlocks the door, peeking in first. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into his room faster than I would have expected. 

“Make yourself comfortable,” he whispers, “I have to go say hi to Josh but I’ll be right back.” He lingers for a second before letting go of me and disappearing into the dark hall. 

I crawl into his bed, mostly sober this time. Remembering how comfortable it was and the way it smelled like his cologne. He finally wanders back in after talking to Josh for a few minutes. 

“Well, don’t you look cozy,” he says quietly, giggling to himself as he sets his stuff on his nightstand. I nod a few times, curling the blankets up around me. 

“Are you tired? I can go so you can sleep,” his voice more timid this time. My eyebrows pull together. Is he really trying to still give me space? I silently shake my head at him for a second, trying not to laugh. 

“No, come here.” I reach my arms out towards him; seeing his smile when he realizes that I want him to stay is priceless. 

“Uh.. I feel like this is a dumb question,” his sweet face slowly turns red, “Can I just .. not wear these?” he asks, tugging on the belt loop on his pants. 

“I think it’s safe to say we’re past that, Jacob.” 

He laughs to himself, “Right.”  

It’s so cute how he’s so nervous—watching him slide his jeans off and toss them into his dirty laundry. I can’t help but check him out as he goes to turn the light off. Why does he have a nicer ass than me? 

He lifts the comforter a little to let himself in but also lets the cool air in. 

“Hurry, it’s already warm in here,” I giggle as he quickly pulls the blanket back down over the two of us. My heart starts to beat a little harder now that he’s next to me. He’s so warm. Instinctively moving close to him, my hands have a mind of their own. Grabbing his arm and lifting it up, I curl myself up into him. 

My face is tucked into his neck as his hand draws little shapes on my side. Without thinking, I press a few little pecks into the side of his neck. 

“What made you want to stay here tonight?” he breaks the silence. 

I can’t tell him yet. My throat was instantly tight at the thought of telling him why. 

“I didn’t want to drive after I drank. Just wanted to be responsible or whatever,” I lie. 

His hand grabs mine from its place on his chest, bringing it up and placing a kiss on my palm before bringing it back to its spot. 

“It’s cute when you try to dodge the truth. Try again,” his taunting tone makes me smile into him. 

“I just..didn’t want to be alone tonight,” I admit, hoping he doesn’t press further. I’ll tell him at some point, but just.. not right now. I know I have to come out with it eventually, but I still haven’t said it out loud to anyone. 

His arm pulls me against him as he presses a kiss onto my forehead, letting his lips just rest against me. Feeling him just breathe for a second against my skin. 

“I’m sorry, hun,” he mumbles against me, “I’m happy you’re here.” My eyes start to well up; he’s too much.. I prop myself up on my elbow so I can look at him. 

“Me too,” I squeak out. My finger tracing his jawline as we look at each other. My eyes move to his cheekbone, letting my hand cup his jaw and my thumb gently run over his soft lips while he just watches me. I don’t know how I’ve gotten here. Laying in bed with this man who looks at me like I’m the reason the sun comes out in the morning. 

He kisses my thumb as it grazes over him again, pulling me out of my thoughts.  The corners of his mouth are slightly curving up. He reaches up and tucks some of my hair behind my ear. 

“You're pretty cute,” he winks at me. His eyes look more tired than I’m used to, but maybe it’s just because he’s comfortable. 

I lean towards him, placing a small kiss on his nose. Then, peppering his face with little pecks as his smile widens, followed by giggling as I sneak some under his jaw.

“Did you tell Josh that I’m here?” 

He shakes his head, “Nope.”

“Why not?” 

“Just wanted to keep you to myself for a little longer,” he tells me, making my heart flutter a little at the thought that he’s savoring our time together. “Plus, if he knows, he’ll insist on talking to you for hours, and then I wouldn’t get to enjoy this.” 

“As fun as that sounds,” I managed to get out, “This is pretty nice.” I gently pat his chest a few times. 

“I can go get him at any point if I’m boring you,” his smile on full display, “He’s like a toddler; just endless energy.” 

“Jacob,” I try to sound serious but am failing by the second. “I listened to you tell me about pirates for hours the other night. You’re far from boring.” 

“And you,” he says, holding the side of my face with his hand, “are an angel for listening to me.” At this moment, I would listen to him all day long, telling me about absolutely anything. 

We lay there for a while, talking about mindless things as he occasionally ran his hand down the back of my head. He tells me about how he worked at the Shipyard with Danny and how his parents dipped out of Maine the second Sam went off to college. I offer stories of living in the middle of nowhere and ridiculous situations with work.  

Reaching over and tapping his phone screen, holy shit, it’s 5:00 am. 

“I didn’t mean to keep you up so late,” I try to hide my embarrassment, just thankful that it’s dark so he can’t see my face flush a little. 

“Did you already forget what my job is?” his question laced with a laugh, “I’m always up this late.” I drop my head onto his chest, laughing at myself. As if we hadn’t spent a handful of nights talking until the sun was about to come up. 

“It’s late and I’m tired, alright?” 

“Why don’t you try to sleep then?” his voice sounds so sweet. 

I sit back up, my hands on either side of him; we just stare at each other for a second. His lips parted as I ghosted mine over him. Feeling his hands grip my sides as the kiss deepens. My body warms when he pulls my leg over his waist, feeling his body beneath me. I found my hands sliding up into his hair; his heartbeat was strong enough that I could feel it over my own nerves. His hip bones pressing into my ass has my mind wandering to dangerous places. 

He pushes us up, so I’m sitting on his lap with one hand holding me to him. I don’t know what possessed me to lift the bottom of his shirt, sliding my hands around his waist. His skin is so warm and soft, and I just want to kiss every inch of his body. Breaking away from the kiss, he pulls his shirt off in one quick motion—well, that’s hot—tossing it to the side before coming back to me. 

“Wait,” I whisper. Grabbing the hem of my shirt, pulling it off, and revealing my bralette. I can see his eyes light up, even in the dark, as he glances down at the plunging neckline. “It's only fair.” 

His jaw goes slack as we’re both sat there in just our underwear. Timidly, his hands find their place on my waist, and I slowly drape my arms around his neck. It’s hard to believe that we didn’t knock our teeth together, smiling into every kiss. The little noises coming from both of us, every breathy almost moan, making me more intoxicated with him.   

His grip on me tightens, tugging me closer to him if that’s even possible. My hips have a mind of their own, subtly pushing down into him. The smallest amount of friction sends shivers through me. He didn’t move away.. So maybe he doesn’t mind? Deciding to test the waters, I push myself up on my knees slightly, definitely not on purpose, putting some pressure against his subtly hard cock– making him moan into me. His hands pulled me back down, hard against him this time. This tortuous game we’re playing makes every kiss a bit hotter, feeling like a teenager again as I randomly grind my hips into him. 

“Are you trying to kill me?” he whispers, the sound of his raspy voice alone, almost making me moan at this point. 

Letting out a small ‘mmm’ against his lips, “Is it working?” I ask quietly. 

“I swear to god,” he starts, in between kisses, “if Josh wasn’t down the hall..” 

My heart races at the thought, my mouth moving faster than my brain can filter, “What if we’re quiet?” 

His sweet laugh against me, “Mmm, as tempting as that is,” stopped to press a few kisses into me. “I wanna be able to hear all the pretty sounds you’ll make.”

“Jacob,” I moan into his mouth. I’m not entirely proud of how that snuck out, but he is so hot sometimes. We spend another minute with my hands tangled in his hair and his hands slowly making their way down to my ass as he smiles into the kiss when he grabs a handful. 

“Hold on to me,” he mumbles into me before turning us over. Carefully setting me against his pillows, hovering for a second, I can’t help but glance down. His chest and stomach are on display, and god, is he gorgeous. When I thought seeing him in just sweatpants was bad, I had no idea how much worse it would be when I could see the outline of his hard dick on top of that. It is a mouthwatering sight if I can say so myself.

He looks down at my barely clothed body, taking a deep breath before looking back up at me, “I mean this in the most respectful way possible, okay?” My eyebrows pull together, trying to figure out where he’s going with this.

“Okay..”  

He lets his head fall back a bit before finally breathing out, “You’re so fucking hot, my god.”

“Oh, stop,” I whine; my face feels warm instantly as his eyes rake over me. 

“I’m sorry, I don't think I can,” he says, pressing a kiss into the top of my shoulder. “Have you seen yourself?” he asks, carefully brushing some loose hairs out of my face. How he went from being a typical boy to suddenly his normal sweet self is beyond me. 

“Jaaaake—“ 

“Alright, alright, I’ll stop. But I’m not happy about it.” Flopping down next to me with a little grin on his face, he lifts his arm for me to join him. 

He ends up pulling me into him, my head finding a comfortable spot tucked into his chest. We tangle ourselves together, my leg thrown over his hips with his hand immediately staking a claim on my thigh. I slide my free hand up his chest and neck, gently holding the side of his face, and tilt my head up to place one more kiss on his cheek before settling into sleep. 

Breathing him in and relishing in the warmth of this extraordinary man. I’m a breath away from falling asleep when I feel him pressing his lips against my forehead and mumbling, “Sweet dreams, honey.”

Chapter Thirteen  

Chapter Fifteen

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My heart pounds like a bass drum in my chest for my favorite player. For every home game the team has, I’m present in my season pass seats. 

Tonight though, tonight is different. 

As part of an agreement with a foundation the team is partnered with, the hockey players are taking some season pass holders out after the game. I’m still not over the shock of the email I got earlier this week sending me instructions for later on. The game continues well into the third period as my heart continues to race. 

Sam assists with three more goals, ultimately winning the team the game for the evening and securing their place in the Stanley Cup Finals. The home crowd is unruly at this point, it's getting harder and harder to hear my own thoughts.

My body moves on autopilot as I swim through the excited fans. The closer I get to the place where I’m going to meet Sam and the other players that are coming out tonight, the faster my heart goes. 

I’ve had these season tickets for two years now. I wasn’t going to get them again after me and my ex broke up, but I found that I actually enjoyed hockey. Guess I can give my ex credit for one thing, and one thing alone. Can’t give him too much credit, that big head of his will explode.

 I shake it off, not needing to think about him tonight and instead refocus my thoughts on number six. 

—-------------------

I’m sitting in a room with a few other winners for tonight while we wait for the players to shower. The jittery nerves of all of us fill the air as we talk about our favorite players and the game tonight.

“I can’t believe our goalie got a shut-out tonight,” the girl on my left says. I’m just about to agree with her, about how the shots were whipping through air faster than I could see - but then the man on my right chimes in.

“Do you even know what a shut-out is? Or are you just repeating the announcer from tonight?” He says with a scoff. 

“What the fuck is your issue, dude?” I say as I turn my whole body to him. Before I can continue a deep voice from the door cuts me off. 

“What she said. Honestly, I have no patience for this shit tonight. You can leave.” 

All three of us turn to face Sam standing in the doorway, arms crossed. He looks smaller without his padding on, but he’s still extremely intimidating with his presence. 

“I..I, come on man, it was a joke.” The man’s frantic eyes pan over to me and the girl he just insulted moments ago. Desperation rolls off of him in waves.  “Right?” 

“Didn’t sound like a joke to me, now leave.” Danny, the goalie, appears behind Sam. 

Two of them in the doorway is definitely enough for the man to listen and scurry out of the room. He keeps his head down as he sheepishly walks between the two players out of the room. Now all that’s left is me, and the mystery girl to my right. I try not to focus on that too hard. 

“Now that that's over with,” Danny continues, “let us introduce ourselves. I’m Danny, and my buddy here is Sam.” He hooks a quick arm around Sam’s shoulders and pulls him in close, Sam doesn’t look very amused. 

“My name is Faye.” 

“And I’m Y/N.” 

A wicked grin appears on Danny’s face. “Faye, Y/N.. Are you ready to party like we just got our slot in the finals?” 

Both of us jump to our feet to follow them out to the car that’s waiting for us. Danny motions to have us go out the door first, and as I pass the threshold I feel a large hand on the small of my back. I look up to see Sam next to me, guiding me through the hallway. 

“It’s about to get hectic for a moment, just stick with me.” He says. His voice is low, his breath tickles my ear. 

I glance behind us and see Danny intertwined with a giddy Faye. Her arm is firmly planted on his bicep while his other hand comes up to cover hers. Faye’s bubbly personality is infectious, as I find myself leaning into Sam’s touch. 

He was right, it is pandemonium when we step out into the garage to get into our waiting SUV. The yells of reporters become blurred as we basically run to the open door of the car. 

“Sam! How does it feel to have so many assists?! And even a goal!”

“Another shut-out Danny?! How do you keep doing that?!” 

“The Stanley Cup Finals!!” 

The door to the SUV finally shuts and the reporters are nothing but a muffled noise. Looking around inside, the vehicle we’re in is overly spacious. Sam and I have a complete row to ourselves while in front of us sit Faye and Danny in a row of their own. 

The way Sam settles into his seat with comfortable confidence is hard not to watch. He immediately looks at home in the back seat and stretches his legs out in front of him. His knee softly hits mine and I can’t tear my eyes away from the unintended contact. Quickly, I look up to Faye, as if she can feel the sudden rush of heat to my lower belly. She’s leaning in and laughing with Danny, so definitely not. My eyes go back to our knees. 

Sam’s not saying much of anything, just sitting with his arms crossed behind his head, eyes closed. Blissfully unaware of how I’m reacting to this situation, which is not graceful whatsoever. I tell myself no, no, no as I let my eyes slowly graze over his body. It isn’t until my eyes reach his playful smirk that I notice his eyes flutter open. 

“Enjoying what you see?” Sam mutters quietly so only I can hear, but that doesn’t stop the heat from racing to my cheeks. “No need to be embarrassed, sweetheart. I like what I see.” Sam’s eyes rake down my body and I almost feel naked from it. “I’ll make sure you’re warm enough tonight,” he says gesturing to my outfit. “Although if you could stand the rink wearing that, you should be fine in the December weather.” 

He’s kind of right, I have been on the verge of freezing all night. But how do you come dressed for a night out when you have to attend a hockey game first? My thigh high boots leave a couple inches before my sweater dress covers the rest. Usually, I’d wear Sam’s jersey and some leggings to the game, but my friend warned me about looking like a “puck bunny” and now.. here we are. 

Before I can respond the SUV comes to a stop and Danny turns to face us. “Ready to go have some fun?” He’s quick to jump out of his door once it opens, holding out his hand for Faye. 

Sam leans over me and it feels like my heart stops for a second. His fingers make quick work of the latch, releasing the seat in front of me so I can get out. “After you,” he says. I start to climb out of the car, hoping that I do and don’t give Sam a little show with my short dress. I swear I can feel his eyes boring into me, and it only makes me clumsier. After a painful minute, I’m finally out of the puzzle that is the back seat, and I turn around just in time to watch Sam exit gracefully as hell. Perrrfect. 

We follow Danny and Faye to a roped off area labeled VIP and my throat gets a little tighter. Once we step inside Danny turns to all of us. 

“Sam and I are going to get our first round, we’ll be right back.” Both Faye and I are nodding in response as they’re already halfway out of the VIP section and on their way to the bar. 

When they leave us, Faye’s standing in front of me with her arm reaching out. I’m thrilled to have the invitation, grabbing her hand eagerly. “I can’t believe we’re fucking out here with them,” she says to me. 

“It feels like a dream, this can’t be real.” Without warning, Faye pinches my butt. I let out a little yelp. She laughs.

“Definitely real.” We both turn and watch them talk to the bartender with ease. “What do you think they’re going to bring back?”

“Something dangerous, that’s for sure.” 

Faye was right. We watch the boys swim through the busy club back to us. A soft, light drink in one hand, and a dark, small pour in the other. I can’t tear my eyes away from Sam as he seems to effortlessly glide across the room. His eyes meet mine and the same playful smirk he gave me earlier slides onto his face again and I can feel my cheeks getting twenty degrees hotter. Before I can fully register it, Sam is standing in front of me, the soft drink I hoped was for me is outstretched my way. 

“Thank you,” I say as I take the drink out of his hands. I take a small sip and am happy when I’m greeted with a fruity drink. “This is exactly what I would’ve ordered.” I can’t help but laugh. I look over to Faye and Danny but there nowhere to be found in our small area. As I’m glancing around Sam comes up to my ear, he’s so close I can feel his breath on my neck.

“Want to dance?” 

I don’t want to say anything with the fear I’ll sound incoherent, so I just nod. He laughs, throws back the rest of the dark liquor in his glass, then outstretches his hand to me. I stumble for a moment, unsure if he wants me to grab his hand. It’s when his playful smirk appears once again that I let myself put my hand in his. It seems to be so easy for him as he pulls us through the crowded dance floor, meanwhile I’m reminding myself to breathe. 

I’m not paying attention when Sam finally stops, and I bump into his back. He turns to me laughing, of course, and reaches out to grab my elbow. 

“You ok?”

Again, I just nod. Why has Sam made me unable to form words? Another laugh escapes his lips as he turns me around then plants himself firmly against my back, one hand on my hip. I freeze. I wasn’t expecting to be this close with Sam at all, and now I’m in his arms? He starts to sway to the music as I look around and finally spot Faye. She’s wrapped up extremely close with Danny as they dance, it almost feels like a private moment I shouldn’t be watching. 

Sam’s breath is hot against my ear once more and I swear I feel the heat drop straight down to my core. “There’s something about you,” his lips graze my ear. “I’m intrigued, I need more.” His hand starts softly sliding up my side as if he’s testing the waters. I take a hefty sip of my drink as I back into him, just a little bit. The growl against my ear has me squeezing my thighs together. 

His hand reaches the bottom of my breast and for a moment, I forget we’re in public. I want him to go further, I want him to touch me more. I feel his index finger glide along the bottom of my breast causing me to back into him again and I’m shocked when I feel something stiff greet me. I let my head loll on his shoulder as we sway. His hand starts going back south, passing my hip and playing with the hemline of my short dress. Suddenly, this dress was a fantastic idea. I’m glad I suffered in the arena for this. 

His fingers find my bare thigh and grip tightly and I swear I could dry hump this man in the middle of the club without a single fuck to give. Sam’s hand moves back up to my hip and starts to turn me around so we’re face to face again. He slides one leg in between mine and gets even closer to me. His hand finds his way to my ass and I revel in the touch. 

Sam’s head drops to my neck where he leaves feather light kisses in his wake. I’m melting in his touch and he knows it. I can’t help myself as I ask, “is this what you normally do with the winners?”

He pulls back and grabs my chin with his free hand. “Absolutely not. Like I said, Y/N, there’s something about you. I need more.” His eyes bore into mine and it feels too intimate, I try and look away. “Don’t you trust me?” 

“Why would I? I don’t know you.” 

“That’s true, baby.” Our faces are millimeters apart now. “But if I want to make you see stars for a night, isn’t that okay?” 

My resolve fully leaves as our lips touch. The smoky liquor tastes is still heavy on Sam’s tongue and it tastes fucking divine. His hand moves to the side of my neck as we devour each other on the dance floor. He pulls away too soon for my liking, peppering my lips with light kisses. 

“Fuck, Y/N. What are you doing to me?” Sam asks while he grabs my ass tight. A little moan escapes my lips and my eyes go wide. The club comes back into my peripheral and I remember that we’re not alone. All Sam does is laugh and come back in for another kiss. He rests his head on mine as we not-so-subtly grind together on the packed floor. Sam’s hand leaves my neck and goes back to exploring the curves of my body while the other stays firmly planted on my ass, keeping us swaying to the beat. Sam spots the forgotten drink in my hand and nods to it. 

“I thought this was what you would’ve ordered yourself. Do you not like it?” 

“I like it, just a tad distracted.” His eyes dance all over my face, lighting up in amusement. 

“What’s distracting you, baby?” He says as he laughs.

“You should know.” I bring the straw to my lips slowly, making a show of the whole thing. I hollow my cheeks as I suck, watching Sam swallow as he watches me. I take three gulps before his hand is on mine lowering the drink away from my lips. 

Sam’s quick to replace the straw with his own lips, the hand on my ass tightening in response. His tongue brushes against my lips asking for an invite I’m all too willing to give. My hand snakes up to his neck, his long hair tickling my knuckles as I make my way up to his jaw. I know his jaw is sharp, but feeling it with my hands is a totally different level. I separate my lips from his and I swear I hear a whine pass his lips. I attach my lips to his jaw, giving him the same feather light kisses he was giving me earlier. When I reach his ear and graze my teeth against his earlobe, he gives me a small growl. I’m living for it. 

I start to become braver as I skate my hand down his neck onto his chest. I’m greeted by a hard, chiseled surface underneath the dress shirt he has on. I keep moving my hand down until I find the spot where I can dip under his shirt. His hip feels like it’s on fire with how warm it is in my grasp. Another growl escapes Sam as he grips my chin in his hand, forcing us to make eye contact.

“If you want to keep going,” he places a quick kiss on my lips. “Let’s get a room.” Another kiss. “Too many eyes here for what I want to do with you.” 

I stutter for a moment, not thinking we would’ve gotten this far. Looking into his dark brown eyes, he looks so serious. For a moment I swear I see a flash of fear that I’m going to turn him down. 

“Absolutely.” I respond with a soft kiss. Relief floods Sam’s eyes as that playful smirk I’ve come to adore tonight shows itself again. I couldn’t say no, I want this too. He takes the empty glass from my hands and replaces it with his free one. Guiding us once again effortlessly through the crowd. He brings us back to the bar top and discards my glass, but then waves the bartender down and orders two shots. 

Sam’s arm slips around my waist, bringing me close to him. I take the opportunity to place my hand back on his chest while we wait. The bartender comes back and places two, thankfully clear, shots in front of us. 

“To tonight,” Sam says while handing me my glass.

“To tonight.” I reply as we clink our small glasses together and simultaneously throw them back. 

We discard our glasses and his arm stays wrapped around me as we leave the club. I didn’t realize when we first got here with how we ran inside, but the club is part of a casino. There are hotel rooms for people who visit and play too late. Then there’s rooms for people like Sam and I. He guides us to the hotel front desk before stopping in front of the little waiting area all lobbies seem to have. 

“Wait here, I’ll get us our room.” He plants a kiss on my forehead and turns to the desk. I watch as he talks with the person working, standing so confidently as he gets us a room for the night. I let my eyes slowly work down his body, I can’t hear what they’re saying anyways. His long dark hair just passes his shoulders, down to his defined back and shapely ass. I’m still staring as he turns around and smiles at me. 

“Ready?” Sam says with a laugh.

I bring a hand up to my mouth, almost sure I was drooling over him. I wasn’t, thankfully. I nod and stand, making my way over to him. He takes my hand once I reach him and gives me a quick kiss before guiding us over to the elevators. We’re quiet as we listen to the ‘ding’ of the elevator making its way down to us. The nervous, excited energy between us is electrifying. When the final, sweet ‘ding’ we’ve been waiting for Sam ushers me in as soon as the doors open. He’s almost feral as he fumbles for the close door button and smashes the floor number we’re going to. We both stand on the edges of the elevator as we watch the silver doors close. 

As soon as they do, Sam’s hand is around my wrist dragging me towards him. I give a small yelp to the unexpected but welcomed motion. Our hands are all over each other as our lips fuse together. His teeth grab onto my bottom lip, dragging slowly across them. I can’t help but moan at the feeling. It feels too quick when we hear the ‘ding’ signifying we’ve hit our floor. His hand is around my wrist quicker than I can register his lips are off mine. He’s basically dragging me down the hall with how dazed I am from our elevator makeout that I run into his back when he stops at our door. His back shakes while he laughs and digs out our key card from his pocket. 

“Ready?” Sam says while looking back at me.

“Ready.” 

Sam opens the door fully and lets us inside, and I’m unsure what I was expecting with a pro athlete but it wasn’t this. We walk into a living room style area with two doors leading into other places. One door is open, and I can see a bed just inside. The other door I assume is the bathroom. Sam’s at my back now as I take in the room, running his hands up and down my sides while he presses kisses into my neck. 

“Wow,” I finally say after much too long. 

Sam’s quicker with his response.“Only the best for my girl.” 

My mind catches on to that. His girl. The heat between my thighs intensifies as I turn around to look him in the eye. “I knew I was right about you.” Is all he says before he hoists me up. My legs instinctively wrap around his thighs and he kisses me hard like he needs this. It doesn’t take long before I feel Sam fall back onto a plush surface. It takes me a moment to realize he’s made his way to the bed already, and we’re sitting on the edge of it. He takes the opportunity to push my short dress up, and I thank the heavens above I decided to wear dark green lace panties. I swear I see Sam’s pupils dilate as he stares, bringing his finger to outline my folds. 

My breathing has become staggered, we’re both focused on his hands. He keeps one in front slowly tracing me, while the other grabs onto my bare ass. My head lolls back for a moment, the feeling of his hot hands are overwhelming. I gasp and snap my head back down to where his fingers land. He’s found my clit and he’s not shy about it, his fingers worship me as they slowly touch me. I can feel myself unwinding, and I want some sort of friction. It feels like Sam can read my mind now as the hand on my ass pushes me up towards his hard bulge. Once I make contact I swear we both stop breathing. 

We both watch silently as I fumble with his button. When I finally get it done I waste no time with his zipper and raising on my knees momentarily so he can pull them down. I love that he leaves his boxers on for me to peel off of him. I sit back on him with just our underwear separating us and we both gasp. My hot center meeting his hard cock is almost too much. Both of his hands move to my ass as he makes me grind him, earning a moan from me. Sam’s hands move to the bottom of my dress, lifting it over my head and off of me. 

He holds me by the waist and leans back to look at me. “Fuck,” is all that passes his lips before he’s flipping us over and has me laid out on the bed. I look up at him through surely hooded, desperate eyes. 

“I want you.” 

“Baby, I want you too, but I need to taste you first. Fuck, you look-” Sam looks up at me with eyes that are so dark I don’t see color anymore. His hands wrap around my panties as he looks up at me with a silent question. I nod, letting him know this is okay and he quickly pulls them down and throws them on the floor. 

Sam looks at me one more time with those dark eyes before lowering himself to my center. He takes his time, leaving small kisses on my thighs that have me raising my hips up, leading him to what I want. 

“Needy girl,” he chastises and I swear to God I melt into the bed. He presses a singular kiss on my clit before licking against my pussy. My eyes roll back into my head as he eagerly laps at me and I weave my fingers into his hair. With it being long, I have more to grab and I didn’t realize how much I would enjoy it. I’m close, and Sam knows it as he pays special attention to my clit. He inserts a finger inside of me, expertly hitting that spot I can only hit with my vibrator at home. 

“Sam, fuck yes.” I cry. He moans against me and that’s all I need to be pushed over the edge. My thighs tighten around his head as I ride his face through my orgasm. He doesn’t stop until I’m squirming away from him trying to push his head away.

“Oh, I’m not done with you. You taste fucking delicious. You can give me one more before I go inside of you, can’t you?” He attaches his mouth back onto my pussy and I’m rendered useless. I grab back onto his hair as he licks and fingers me, making me incoherently babble. My second orgasm comes out of nowhere and hits me like a freight train. I’m squeezing Sam’s head so hard with my thighs I’m afraid I’m going to kill him. I’ve never come twice from someone going down on me, and now Sam’s got me second guessing everything. 

Once I finally come down he presses soft kisses to the insides of my thighs and my hips, slowly making his way up my body. It’s then I notice his cock straining against his boxers. Sam follows my eyeline down and that playful smirk appears once more. In a flash he flips us so that he’s laying down and I’m on top. My sensitive center rests on him once we flip and I become ravenous. 

“Think you can help, baby?” I look up to Sam’s eyes which are hooded and still dark. Being this close I can see that his pupils are blown out, I press a soft kiss on his lips where I can taste me, and I’m a little surprised to find I like it. I like that this man tastes like me. At some point during our interaction he unbuttoned his shirt and taken it off, showing me his whole body. I kiss my way down until I hit his boxers, then I grab them on both sides so I can bring them down as I go. 

As soon as I get it over his cock it springs free, and is very hard. I waste no time bringing my lips to the head and wrapping them around it. I’m rewarded with a deep, husky moan. I take my time playing with the head of his cock with my tongue. I feel his hips buck and I swear I hear a ‘please’. Without warning, I take him to the hilt, slightly choking on him. His hand flies to the back of my head with a ‘fuck’ and he lets me bob my head a couple of times before he’s pulling me off. 

“I need to be inside you, please baby.” He flips us back over and grabs a condom resting on the nightstand. Once he is sheathed, he places the head teasingly at my entrance. I watch as he drags it up and down, playing with my clit too.

“Sam, please.” I sound desperate and I don’t care because before I can even finish my plea he’s slowly pushing inside of me. We both loudly moan as he pushes deeper and deeper until he’s sitting at the hilt. He leans down and kisses me. I bite his lip and he groans while trying to push even deeper into me. 

Without warning, he pulls out quickly then pushes back in, making my eyes roll into the back of my head as I loudly moan. He keeps his slow rhythm while keeping his lips on me. My hand instantly grips his arm as he attaches his mouth to one of my hard nipples. He bites, just enough for a small bit of pain before he lets go and gives the same attention to my other one. 

I’m completely lost in Sam and I don’t mind one bit. I run my hands up and down his bicep, feeling the ridges in his muscles. His lips are the most distracting, anywhere they go they have my utmost attention that I actually whine when he pulls them away completely. He leans down so they graze my ear.

“I want you on top, is that okay baby?” 

“Yes, please yes.” 

Snaking his arm around my waist, he swiftly flips us over. Helpingme so I’m sitting upright on him. I place my hands on his hard stomach as I slowly move up and down with every intention of driving him absolutely crazy. Sam reaches out and pinches my nipple which has me moaning and moving my hips quicker in response. 

“Not fair,” I whine, “I was trying to do something.”

“I could see it in your eyes, baby. You’re not very good at being sly.” He lifts his hips up to meet mine with every thrust. I can’t help but pick up the pace, he feels and looks so good under me. Sam looks up at me and it makes me feel so fucking powerful. 

“Such a good fucking girl,” Sam says as I watch him bring his finger to my exposed clit and starts to rub it as I bounce on him. The new added pressure is a very welcome feeling, but I’m even closer to the edge now. 

“Sam, please, I’m so close.” I don’t know what I’m even pleading for anymore, just that I want him. 

“Come for me, baby.” That was all I needed to be pushed over the edge, my orgasm hitting me hard and fast. “Baby, I’m right behind you,” is all he says before I feel him tense up underneath me, coming just as hard. I collapse on top of him, our heavy breathing in tandem as we stare at each other.

His eyes are flooded with color now, I almost feel foolish not seeing it before. The dark brown is littered with golden flecks, making his eyes look like they shine in this post-coital light. He reaches up a hand and brushes my hair away from my face and neck, then leaves it there to linger on my cheek. We stay like this for a couple moments in silent bliss before he slowly starts to pull out. 

“I’ll be right back,” Sam says as he makes his way to the en suite. I lay on the bed surrounded by the scent of Sam, of us, as I hear water start to run in the other room. It goes on for a little bit, and even though I know I should clean up, the soft sound has my eyes fluttering shut. “Y/N, baby.” Sam laughs as my eyes shoot open. He now has his boxers back on and his hair is up in a messy bun. “Come here, I’ll carry you.” 

I ask no questions as I shimmy to the edge of the bed where Sam scoops me up bridal style and walks me into the en suite. It’s steamy and warm once we enter, and I realize the noise I was hearing was him running a bath. He sets me down on the counter and hands me a warm washcloth. His eyes never leave my face as I clean up and discard the washcloth, then he lifts me once more and places me in the tub. The warm water is a welcome hug but it feels like something is missing. 

“Sam, join me?” I reach out my hand to him and watch as his eyes light up.

“Scoot forward.” I move to scrunch in the tub, my arms wrapped around my knees as Sam settles in behind me. Once he’s seated, his hands land on my shoulders and pull me into him. This is now perfect. The warm water, the hot man running his hands along my arms in a comforting embrace. He buries his nose in my hair as I try to burrow even closer to him. 

“Tonight was nice.” Sam says softly.

“It was very nice, I didn’t expect this.”

“I didn’t either, but I’m glad you took the chance. Stay the night with me.” 

With my eyelids already heavy, it was an easy choice. “Okay.” 

Caravel - Greta Van Fleet "Sail to the end of the world, For death or glory."

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

The Anniversary Party  - 7:15 p.m. 

Pull it together, I think to myself, wiping the tears that were trying to make their escape. I decided that spending the drive in my thoughts sounded better than trying to drown them out with music, which is how I spent most of my day fighting the urge to cry and losing. 

If I thought the idea of just having to tell him that I had to go back home was terrible, watching him cry is probably in the top three worst moments of my life. Seeing the way his eyes looked when I told him that his comment was wrong, I could feel that he regretted it. I can’t even be mad at him when I know he didn’t mean it. Listening to him sob and cry to me that he was sorry broke my heart; I just couldn’t bring myself to say anything at the moment.

Once I got home, even though I was emotionally exhausted, I couldn’t sleep. I could just hear him in my head on a loop, practically begging me to stay. I can’t believe I left. I knew I wouldn’t say anything about my work situation if I stayed, so I didn’t. And now, I regret it. I should have stayed and told him everything. 

I spent a lot of the night just wishing I hadn’t given him attitude because it wasn’t fair to him. I had been working most of the day and finally had someone call me back that I’d been waiting on, but they were upset with the message I had for them. So, I was on the receiving end of one of the angry bar owners, unlike Jacob, when I walked into the bar, and I still didn’t know what made me take that out on him. 

I would take it back in a second if I could. 

Now I’m sitting in my car, parked in my usual spot down the street from the bar, debating heavily on what I should do. I never actually packed anything because I would start crying every time I tried. It’s not even been a full day since we saw each other, and I’m terrified to walk in there. 

I don’t want to have that conversation tonight; I can’t ruin the anniversary party more than I possibly already have. Maybe depending on how he acts, I’ll mention something after Thanksgiving. Then it came back to me; I told him I would text him all day tomorrow… oh god– what have I done? 

I look up at the sky; the moon is faint in the distance, but she’s there. 

“Cass, I did this for you,” I whisper. “I wish you could tell me if it was going to work out or if I royally messed up.” Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I shut off my car. When I step out, a breeze washes over me, the type of cold where you know snow is coming. Making sure I have all his paperwork and my bag, I start my walk over to the bar. 

I really could just go home. 

I know the address.. I could just mail this.

I don’t think I can do it. 

I don’t know what possessed me to look back up, but I did, and the cloud that had been blocking the moon moved. The light from it felt different this time, and a smirk laced my lips as I looked at it. 

I’m taking that as my sign, Cass. I hear you.

As I get closer, I see the number of cars parked along the street and vaguely see through the bar windows. There’s a lot of people here for it being a Wednesday. Good job, Jacob.  

7:36 p.m. 

The door chime goes off, but enough people are talking, and the music is still loud, so there’s no chance anybody heard it. I scan the bar, looking for him, just hand him the paperwork and then leave. You can try to talk to him over the weekend and maybe work something out or at least make sure he doesn’t hate you. I try to pep talk myself. 

Not seeing him anywhere, I start to wander around, kind of hoping not to run into anybody, which is a bold choice right now. I bump into someone while trying to find him, and she turns around quickly. 

“Oh! I’m sorry, honey, didn’t see you there!” Her voice is loud but sweet. “You look lost– what do you need?” She gently holds my arm as she asks. 

“Uh- I need to find Jake. I don’t see him, though,” I tell her. Why do I feel like I should know who she is?

Her eyes widen at the sound of his name, but her expression softens when she tells me, “He’s in there somewhere! I thought I saw him run outback a minute ago.” 

“Oh, okay. Thank you. I’ll just hang out for a few then,” I shoot her a small smile. 

She smiles back at me; her smile feels familiar. She quietly says, “If I run into him, I can let him know you’re here. What’s your name?” 

I hesitate for a second, “Oh, um, Charlotte.” 

“Pretty,” she lets out. “I’ll try to grab him for ya.” 

Not even a minute passes, and I see him come down the hallway, but he definitely can’t see me. He looks so good, too. I linger behind people to avoid making eye contact as my heart rate starts to pick up. You can do it. I watch him from a distance; he’s behind the bar, handing someone a drink. That smile, but his eyes look tired. The way he moves captivates me; it feels like I’m seeing him for the first time all over again.  

He’s just pouring a beer for someone, but even something so mundane makes the butterflies erupt in my stomach. When he slides it over to the customer, his shirt falls open more and shows off his chest, and his necklace dangles, making my body warm because I’ve felt that necklace graze my skin before. Good god, why does he just look like this? 

All I can see in my mind is how gorgeous he is, especially when we were holed up together. He would put together his cute little outfits when we did things. The way he would walk around in his short and tight little boxers, leaving no room for imagination, was fine with me. 

His smile was still my favorite, whether it was just the little grin as he held back some pirate phrase, knowing I’d laugh at how dumb he was. Or when he fully smiles.. that boy is so beautiful. I could probably write a dissertation on how much I love that smile. I love a lot of things about him. His smile, the way he’s always touching me somehow, that silly English accent..maybe I-

Suddenly, I hear a clinking sound that multiplied rapidly, pulling me from my thoughts. Glancing around, I see everyone sitting in the booth they always choose when they’re all together. They all are holding their glasses up, tapping whatever they can against them to get everyone’s attention. 

Josh holds his glass up behind the bar, pulling Jake into his side. Jake’s face is completely red as he looks down, with a slight smile on his face. 

“I feel like everyone here should already know, but my brother is the owner of this fine establishment,” Josh starts, “And I just want to say how proud I am of him for taking the chance and managing to stay open for the past year,” He leans over, kissing the side of Jake’s head, and I see him mumble something to him while everyone claps for him. 

“Now, I know you really want to hear from the man of the hour, so,” Josh lets out,  and I watch Jake shake his head a few times, but everyone gets real quiet. We all collectively just stared at him, waiting to see what he would say, and all I could think was, ‘I’ll even hold your hand if you get nervous,’ when he actually starts to speak. 

“Um, I wasn’t really prepared to say anything, but,” he starts. “I never thought this would actually happen, um.. especially to me.” I watch as he fidgets with the ring he has on. You can do this, Jake.

 “I don’t know that I could have done it without my family basically throwing me overboard into the idea. It was a for death or glory moment for me, and—“ he pauses, looking up at everyone just admiring him. “I’m truly just so happy to be here now.” 

His eyes scan the room, and my heart drops when he meets my stare; blinking slowly, it feels like time has stopped, and all I can do is smile at him. I watch a slight smirk grow on his face when he says, “I couldn’t have done it without you. I’m endlessly grateful for everyone keeping me afloat. It’s only been a year, so—“ he grabs the glass next to him, holding it up, “Too many more.” 

The way everyone cheered and started clinking glasses had my eyes welled up. His brothers, Danny included, pulled him into hugs, which only naturally meant the girls and Quinn were next. I just watch him as he beams at everyone who walks up to him and gets all the praise he deserves. But his eyes kept wandering back to me. 

I’m so proud of you, baby. 

8:03 p.m.

Those green eyes– are all I can think about as I stand there. 

My heart about stopped when I saw her. I never would have expected her to show up after last night. But the second we locked eyes again, I felt less nervous. Maybe it was just the simple fact she showed up or the way I could see her trying to hide a tear as she smiled back at me. 

Finishing my weird toast while looking at her was the closest I was going to get to her holding my hand tonight, and that’s okay. Immediately, Josh pulled me into a hug after rocking me back and forth. 

“She’s here,” he whispers into my ear, almost like he’s trying to protect me.  

I turn my face to whisper back, “I know.” 

He leans back from the hug, looking at me, “You can do this,” he says, squeezing my shoulders a few times. “I’m so proud of you.” 

“Thank you,” is all I can manage to say back to him. 

Once I walk out from behind the bar, I’m practically mauled by the rest of them. I don’t think I’ve hugged so many people back-to-back like that before. Listening to a slew of ‘Proud of you! and ‘Happy anniversary! as they take their turn pulling me into them. 

Getting to Quinn, who quietly asks, “Are you going to talk to her?” 

“I mean,” I whisper back, “I’ll see what she says first.. I’m not going to push too hard today.” 

They nod, leaning back from the hug, “You’ll get her, I promise.” Offering me a smile, which I quickly return. 

“Love you,” I whisper, pulling them back into the hug for a second. 

They just mumble back, “Love you too.” Giving me an extra tight squeeze before letting go. 

I started to walk towards her, but my dad stepped in front of me first. He holds out his arms, inviting me for a hug, like everyone else has so far. 

“Proud of you, kid,” he mumbles next to my ear. 

I rest my head against him for a second before moving back, looking at him, and quietly letting out, “Thank you.”  

“I think someone is waiting to talk to you,” his voice is low, nodding towards Charlotte. His hand grabs my shoulder, squeezing a few times, and then quietly says, “Go get her.” 

When I go to walk over to her, I finally see her, and even though I’ve seen her in all forms the last couple of weeks, she always leaves me breathless. I could stare at her for the rest of my life and still not understand how she can be so effortlessly beautiful. 

“Hey, you,” I say as I get closer to her. “I didn’t know if you’d still be here tonight.” 

“Well, I do have these for you,” Her voice is soft. She holds out a folder filled with paperwork. “Everything is good to go, and Melody is certified.” 

“Thank you,” I say quietly. 

She meets my stare and quietly lets out, “Of course.” A soft smile laces her lips as we look at each other, which only makes the corners of mine twitch. I stepped a little closer to her, but she didn’t back up. 

“Um, I know it’s already kinda late,” I start, knowing I sound nervous but still asking, “Are you staying for a bit, or do you need to go?” 

She uncomfortably says, “I should probably head out.. I have a lot of driving ahead of me.” 

“No, that makes sense,”  I say, looking around for somewhere to set the folder down. “I’ll um..” Turning around, I see my dad, waving him over subtly. 

I tell him quietly, “Hey, I’m gonna walk her to her car. Can you hold this?” He just nods at me, glancing over to Char. 

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” she rambles out, her hand landing on my arm, and my heart drops at the contact. Instinctually,  I cover her hand with mine when I turn back to her. 

“I’ve walked you to your car for three weeks; you really think I’m gonna stop now?” I tell her, which makes her laugh. 

“You know what,” she giggles quietly. “You’re right.” I set my drink on a random table, knowing it’ll be lost in the sea of glasses now, but who cares?

Pushing open the door and gesturing for her to go out first, “After you.” 

The walk to her car is quiet, neither of us really knowing what to say until she finally breaks it, “She looks nice tonight.” 

Looking over at her as she looks at the moon, making me smile despite the heartache, “She does.” 

“Your little toast was nice, by the way,” she says quietly, glancing over at me.  

Looking down at the sidewalk for a second, “I wasn’t ready for that, and as you can imagine, I'm not much of a public speaker.” She laughs at me; my heart starts to race. 

“Well,” she starts, as we make it to her car, “I thought you did a great job.” 

I slowly blink at her, “Thank you.” 

We stare at each other silently for a moment. I would give anything to just pretend that nothing happened and that everything is still how it was yesterday morning.  

“I won’t keep you, it’s freezing.” I lean forward, pulling her door open for her like I always do. She looks at me for a second and then steps closer, wrapping her arms around me. I’ve never let go of her car door faster as I pull her in tight; please don’t let this be the last time. My hand runs down the back of her head, just cherishing the hug while it lasts. Breathing her in slowly, trying to engrave the scent of her perfume into my brain. Turning my face and letting my lips rest against the side of her head, unable to resist the urge just to press one small kiss into her hair. One more. 

Once she starts to let go, I loosen my grip, letting her decide when she’s done. My hands run down the back of her arms as she pulls back until her hands land in mine. We just stare at each other for a second when she squeezes so slightly, and I return the gesture before letting go. I open her door again,  and she sits in her driver's seat, looking back up at me.

“Drive safe, Red.” 

She stares at me for a second and then quietly lets out, ”Will do, Captain.”

I swallow hard at the pet name she chose, but I can’t stop the smile from creeping in. Shutting her door gently, I can’t decide if that made me feel better or worse. 

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8:40p.m

 My mom met me at the door, “So, that was her, right?” 

“Mhm,” I quickly respond, not sure of how far she’s going with this. I don’t know how much I can even talk about right now. 

“She’s beautiful,” she tells me, a little inquisitive inflection laced in it. 

I nod quietly, “She’s incredible.”  

“You really love her, don’t you?”

“I feel insane, but I swear I’d do anything to keep her.” 

“Oh, sweetheart,” she says, grabbing my shoulders. “She’ll come back. I saw how she looked at you.” She runs her hand down the back of my head before tucking my hair behind my ear as she looks at me. “Her eyes lit up the moment she saw you. There was no denying it.”

I glance over to the door and then back down, “I just hope you’re right.” 

“Hey,” she practically scolds me, “If she loves you, she’ll come home, alright?” She gently taps my chest a few times. “And if I know anything about you, there’s no reason she wouldn’t come back to you.” Her hand held the side of my face. She brushed her thumbs over my cheekbones a few times, forcing me to look at her. She just quietly coos, “Oh, my sweet little boy.” 

My throat hurts as I choke back the emotions threatening to come up. I’m gonna cry if she keeps talking. My arms instinctually pull her in for a hug, tucking my face into her shoulder and letting out a deep breath. She rubs my back for a second before I finally mumble out, “I love you, mum.” 

“I love you too,” she tells me, pulling back from the hug enough to look at me. “Now, go enjoy your night, babe. You earned it.”

I just smile at her for a second and then mumble, “Thank you.” 

She pulls my face in, kissing my cheek a few times, and then looks at me with watery eyes, whispering, “I’m so proud of you.” 

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Once I went back to talking to everyone, I started to relax a bit. Taking my mind off the inevitable questions that would come up tomorrow. It was nice to have time just to see all the regulars who had been coming in since we opened. 

I find myself sitting with two of my favorite people for a while, Linda and Eleanor. Listening to them tell me about what their Thanksgiving plans are– which is honestly very sweet. 

“Well, we are both single old broads, so I told Miss Ellie just to come join me, and we could watch the parade together and make some food,” Linda tells me. “Figured it’s better than us sitting at home alone!” 

Eleanor giggled before letting out a quiet, “Absolutely is.” 

“I’m glad you two will be spending the day together,” I tell them. “Are you seeing family at all?”

They go on to tell me about how they either just spend Christmas with their families or sometimes people will come to them, but it just depends on the year and how they’re feeling. 

“What are you boys doing for the holiday?” Eleanor asks. 

I sighed, “Well, my parents are up, obviously. So, we’ll all pile into their Airbnb tomorrow morning, and my mom will spend the whole day making food and forcing us to eat until we’re about to throw up.” Laughing a little at the thought because it’s the truth. 

“I’m sure it’s a wonderful time,” Eleanor says. “Your family seems fun to be around.”

I glance around after she makes the comment. Seeing my brothers laughing together in their typical booth. Sam’s arm draped around Willa, keeping her close like he’s worried she’ll try to escape. I love that he’s found someone like her, even if it is weird to see him so protective over someone. 

Moving my eyes over to Danny, shaking his head at whatever nonsense Sam must have spewed. Mel tucked into him like she always has, but fully engulfed in conversation with Quinn. Oh, Quinn.   

The wonderful person who has my best friend and twin brother wrapped around their finger. I knew that when Josh found someone, they would fit him perfectly because he is such a special person, and there was no way that he could just find an ordinary human to be his partner. After spending as much time as I have with Quinn, I couldn’t imagine someone better. 

The way that Mel and Josh take turns lingering near the table so they can all hang out throughout the night because not only are they all best friends, but we’re all practically family at this point. 

I look back to Eleanor with a soft smile, “They really are.” 

I spent a little longer hanging out with them before deciding to take over the bar for a while. Both of them hugged and congratulated me on the anniversary before I walked off to relieve the other two. 

Sometimes, it was nice to be behind the bar alone, just talking with whoever was sitting up there and making drinks. It made the time pass quickly, and I didn’t have time to think about much else, especially on nights like tonight when the bar was full. The only thing missing was her. 

Having her sit at the end of the bar for the last few weeks for hours, just giving me shit about my job or making little comments that would drive me mad until I could finally close the bar and whisk her away to my bedroom. Spending our nights teasing each other while I served people and trained Melody, I always felt like it was torture because I just wanted to clock out so badly. Now, it feels odd that she isn’t here. 

How she looked at me while we stood there, her lightly squeezing my hands like I’ve done to her so many times in the last couple of weeks. Just to let her know I was there. I feel like it should make me feel more confident about her, but I’m afraid to get my hopes too high, even if it’s probably too late for that.  

When Josh and Mel make their way back to the bar, I let  Josh know that I’m going to step out for a minute. I quietly slide into my office, grabbing my lighter and cigarettes from my desk drawer and hiding them in my pocket before wandering out the back door. 

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10:00 p.m.

It smells like snow. The air is a different type of cold; you can smell winter around the corner. I lit my cigarette, took that first drag, and pulled my phone out. 

She should be home by now, looking at the time and then hesitating to say something to her. I stare out at the docks, watching the boats gently rock. Remembering the moment that she leaned in first, how relieved I was that it wasn’t just me wanting that. Her smile when I went back in for another kiss as if she thought I wouldn’t want that. My heart aches at the thought. I should just .. send her something.

We spent almost a month in this weird situation, and it feels wrong to go radio silent. Maybe Mom is right. 

I start typing away, deleting the message, and starting over probably twenty times, not knowing what to say but just wanting to say anything to keep her in my life potentially. Even if she’s not mine. 

I finally hit send when it doesn’t feel too insane, but my body flinches when I feel someone’s hand on my shoulder. 

“I had a feeling I’d find you out here,” my dad quietly tells me. “You okay?”

I nod, “Mhm, I just needed a break from the noise.” 

“Between your mother and both of your brothers, can’t say I blame you,” he laughs. “I know that isn’t the entire reason, and you don’t have to say it.” 

I let out a deep sigh before inhaling more smoke into my lungs to try and stop the sad from coming back. 

“I just texted her. Hoping that she at least will keep talking to me if anything.” I tell him, feeling a bit pathetic. 

He stares at me for a second, “She really got you good, huh?”

“She’s perfect, dad. How was I supposed to not fall for her?” I almost laugh at it, taking one last drag from the cigarette that is threatening to burn me at this point. Squishing the lit end into the railing before turning to walk back to the bar. “Did I make a bad choice doing that or..?” 

“Your mom is much better in these situations, but,” he starts as we slowly walk back. “I think you saw a beautiful girl and took your chance. I’m positive if I were in the same situation with your mom back then, I would have done the same thing.” 

“I knew I was fucked from the day I met her, y’know?” I say. “I couldn’t stop thinking about her after that.” I just watch the ground as we walk, getting closer to the bar. 

His arm wraps around my shoulders, pulling me into his side as I’m about to pull open the back door for the bar. 

“She’ll come back, bud,” he says. “I saw how she looked at you.. I know that look.”  I lean my head against him for a second before he pulls my shoulders away from him and turns me towards him.

 “Please make sure you wash your hands and drink something, and I won’t tell your mother that you still smoke. I’ll never hear the end of it.” We both laugh at the fact she would absolutely make it his problem.  

“Will do,” I laugh out. “Um.. thank you.” I stare at him, fighting the emotions that want to come out, which, after the last twenty-four hours, is getting more difficult. 

He breathes out a typical dad sigh, a slight smile on his face, before he wraps me up in another hug, “Of course. Just wanna see you happy, kid.”

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The bar is closing early tonight because of the holiday, and truthfully, I’m a bit relieved that I don’t have to sit here until two in the morning.  Mostly, everyone had left, and there were just a few stragglers to take care of during the last hour of the night. Just trying to focus on the fact I’ll get to hang out with my family tomorrow and how nice it’ll be to just spend time with them. Even if I want nothing more than to bring her with me. 

11:00 p.m.

Once everything is basically cleaned up, I sneak out front. Something about being outside helped clear my head, even if it was brief. 

How she looked at me before she left makes my heart skip a beat when I think about it. Maybe she isn’t completely done here. It took all my strength not to kiss her again, but I didn’t want to overstep after last night.

If I can at least keep talking to her, maybe we can make things happen because there’s no chance she wasn’t at least kind of interested. Recounting all the times, she would just look at me from a distance, which I’m sure she didn’t think I would notice. But her stare is a hard one to ignore. 

My mind drifts off to all the moments that I should have realized I was falling in love with her. I don’t know who I was kidding thinking I could survive just being friends with benefits.  

Hearing her cry on the other end of the phone the day after I held her in my office, I never walked out of the bar so fast. She sounded so panicked that I would have gone to her if I had known where she was. But the moment I got her to laugh, my heart felt different. 

Walking into my room and seeing her standing there defeated and drunk, fighting with the zipper on her pants, I know I laughed at her, but she was so cute. And then her in my sweatshirt with her bare legs staring back at me once I got the zipper apart for her. Leaving a kiss on my cheek before I left the room, my heart raced for so long after that. 

The night after we kissed, walking her to her car, she was absolutely terrified that she wouldn’t seem into it. Then she looked at me, leaning against my chest, and let out a quiet, “Jacob.” I knew I needed to kiss her again at that moment. The way she grabbed at my shirt when I did tells me that she was craving it, too. 

When she thought I was fully asleep on the couch, she slipped up and called me ‘baby.’ She just wanted to make sure I was comfortable, but if she only knew that having her curled up to me was enough. Feeling her tuck herself back into me, playing with my necklace as I drifted back to sleep, I could have stayed there forever. 

The entire day we spent in Salem. The fact she wanted me to be present with her, calling me ‘babe’ in public, how she kept holding my hand all day. She was always so shy when I would pay for things, but I wanted nothing more than for her to have a good day and try to make up for the fact that her tradition was disrupted. 

Nothing could have prepared me for the way she looked at me when we took pictures. Seeing it after, it’s written all over my face, even if I didn’t realize it in the moment. 

I’ll never know what possessed me to sing to her in that bar, but the smile on her face was worth it. Swaying around with her, her little giggles as I spun her away from me but quickly pulled her back in. All that I could see in my head was me twirling her around in a white dress someday. And god, she looked beautiful. 

The door creaks as it opens, bringing me back to earth. 

“Enjoying the cold?” Josh asks, walking over. 

I breathe out, “I guess.”

“Well, I’m going to head up,” He says, grabbing my shoulder. “It’s going to be a long day tomorrow.” 

“Yeah— I don’t know how ready I am,” I let out before telling him, “You can leave it unlocked. I’ll be up in a few.”

He pulls me into a hug, “Love you, don’t stay out here too long; it’s already getting late.” 

“Love you too.” 

He looks back at me before slipping inside, with a slight grin on his face, and says, “Just let me know if she shows back up.” 

I smile, giving him a slow nod, “Will do.” 

Something about the air tonight and the pep talks from both of my parents convinced me to stay out here for a little bit longer before going upstairs. Doing the mental gymnastics to make sure I don’t get my hopes too high. I slide my phone from my pocket, seeing that it’s only 11:35 p.m. I go to open my texts and it’s still on hers. 

Read at 11:02 p.m. 

Maybe she just got to her parents and that’s why she didn’t reply yet. 

I stare at my lock screen, a photo I snuck of her in Salem. She was so beautiful and happy. It’s mostly the back of her head as we were walking down the street, but she had glanced over as I took it so you can vaguely see her side profile. I don’t think she’s noticed that I did it, but if anything happens this weekend, I’ll change it. But for now, I’ll just keep her there. 

The streets are dimly lit and quiet now that everyone has gone home; I watch as a few snowflakes start to fall. I suck in a deep breath, letting it slowly leave my body, trying to release some of the anxiety, but the only thing I can do is look up at the moon and think, please come home, Charlotte. 

Sliding my phone back into my pocket, I stare down at my shoes for a moment, and then I hear footsteps. I let out a little breath before I looked over, biting the inside of my lip. 

“Hi.”

“Hey, you.” 

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Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Five

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Talk (Unreleased) - Harry Styles "Don't ask me to talk about, I don't wanna talk at all."

“Maybe she was right. Maybe they were both right. I should just live a little,” I mutter to myself as I pace the house. You deserve to be happy; just let it happen. 

Daydreaming about the precious long-haired boy who has my stomach in knots. The way I still can’t believe we kissed more than once. It was hard to deny how sweet he was. Always made sure I didn’t walk to my car alone at night. Asking me to text him when I make it home. Checking that it’s okay that he kissed me, even though I went for him first. 

I’ve never met someone who had me so smitten so quickly. It would be a lie to say I’m not a little nervous, but I’m trying to do right by Cassie. She told me to stop thinking myself out of happiness and so .. I’m trying not to think too hard. 

I wish I needed to be there today. 

Mindlessly tidying up to try and keep myself distracted, I look through the handful of books sitting on the coffee table. For transparency’s sake, they are all romances. Maybe it’s because I just don’t have anything non-fiction on my to-be-read list or the fact that I feel like I’ve seemingly met a man written by a woman; the world will never know. 

Flipping one of them over to read the summary on the back, in italics, reads ‘friends with benefits.’ It stops me in my tracks, metaphorically. ..That’s a bad idea.. Right? I shake my head, trying to rid the idea entirely. Tossing it back on the coffee table and staring at it like it just insulted me personally. 

I pick up my phone, seeing the time, 4:03 pm, with an unread message from him.

Jacob: someone keeps queuing up the same song on the jukebox and I cant stop laughing

Jacob: idk how many times you can listen to Come On Eileen before you lose your mind but I have to be close to it 

I laugh at the idea of him losing it while behind the bar, especially with how calm his demeanor is. I can’t picture him being distraught. What if I just went and got a drink? That wouldn’t be weird, right?  

Me: Too many ‘too loo rye ay’s for you huh?

I mean, we are basically friends at this point and we’ve made out twice.. I don’t think me going to the bar for a drink would be .. wrong?  Staring at my leggings and fuzzy socks, I get up and quickly walk into my bedroom. I stare at myself in the full-length mirror; my hair is still fairly curled from last night. 

I pull out my olive cigarette pants, toss them onto my bed, and start digging through my closet. Finding an off-white sweater hiding in the back, I think I can make this cute. Changing into those and standing in front of the mirror, I tuck the bottom of the sweater up into the band on my bra, cropping it slightly. 

“That feels better, I think,” I mumbled to myself. I slide my belt through the loops, pulling things together even more. Adjusting my necklace to sit on top of the sweater, moving the clasp back to it’s rightful place. 

I grab my phone from the bed, take a picture in the mirror, pulling up the group chat; 

The Laid-Ease 🤩

Me: [sends photo] is this cute? 

Quinn: YES YES YES

Willa: very!!

Mel: Oooooo! Yes 😍

I smile at their responses, feeling a little more confident in my impulse decision. I sit in front of my mirror with all my makeup next to me. I take my time, making sure everything looks how I want it. I typically stick with natural-looking makeup because I’ve always liked my freckles and don’t want to hide them. The least I can do is feel cute if I’m going to go sit at the bar, you know, just in case.  

Sufficiently killing enough time so that I didn’t get to the bar too early. Finding a parking spot proved to be a little more difficult tonight. But being further away, I was able to sit here for a minute before walking over. 

Is this a dumb idea? No Char- you need to just go inside and get a drink. Josh is probably bartending anyway, so he’ll probably just talk to you. 

Forcing myself out of the car, I slowly walk over to the bar, taking deeper breaths as I do, trying not to let anxiety win. I'm doing this for you, Cass.  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Luckily for me, I found a seat at the bar, and Josh is an angel. Bringing me a drink quickly and chatting with me for a few minutes before checking in on other customers. 

I slide my book from my bag, making myself comfortable as I sip on my drink for a while. My thoughts get louder as the alcohol slowly hits me. Rereading the same page a few times before actually processing it. 

You know he’s here–just go say hi. Shaking my head as I swallow the last sip of my drink. It’s very unlike me to let anything like this even remotely happen. 

You’ve never caved in a work situation, it’s honestly shocking. Unprofessional if you ask me. Okay but to be fair– none of the people I've had to work with look like him. You really can’t blame me for having eyes. 

Flipping the page of my book, I try to refocus. I wonder what he’s wearing today. Does he have his button up that he hardly buttons on? Jesus, what did Josh put in this drink? 

Forcing myself to read a few more pages before moving my bookmark into its new home. 

“Is Jacob in his office?” I ask Josh as he’s lingering close to where I’m sitting.

He nods quickly, “Where else would he be?” His eyebrows raise as he looks over at me, “I’m sure he’d be happy to see you.”

I slide out of my barstool, adjusting my pants quickly. His office isn’t far down the hall; as I round the corner into the door frame, I take him in for a second. He’s so pretty. 

I gently knock to get his attention, watching his eyes light up as he sees me makes my stomach turn. Just go for it.

His sweet voice lingers in the room as he says, “I wasn’t expecting you to be here.”

I swallow my nerves and whisper, “I know.” Stepping further into the small space, pushing the door shut behind me. Everything feels like slow motion again.

Turning to him, I’m barely taller than him while he’s sitting; I grab the sides of his face as I lean in. The feeling of his lips against mine makes my heart beat harder. I have kissed my fair share of men in my life, but none compare to him. The way his lips are so soft and how he goes for my bottom lip makes me wonder if he would ever sink his teeth into it. 

“Well, it’s nice to see you too,” he whispers through a small giggle, which makes me laugh with him. His hands gently rest on my waist. The way he looks at me, this man is going to be the death of me. 

I lean back in; this time, I can’t stop how desperate I feel. My hands find the back of his neck; my fingertips pressed into him like I’m afraid he’s going to run away. His grip on me tightens, pulling me closer. My legs bump into his knees; well, there’s only one way to solve this. 

Before I have time to think, I’m straddling his lap, his arms wrapped around me, my hands sliding up into his hair. Oh my god. My breath hitches as he lightly dances his tongue against my lip, and who would I be to deny him that? Goosebumps flood my body as he deepens the kiss, his grip on my shirt getting tighter, pulling me against him harder. I let my teeth grab his bottom lip, barely enough pressure to gently pull it back, when the sweetest little moan escapes him. 

The sound alone was enough to get a girl wet, but then he smiled. And dear god– isn’t his smile gorgeous? A little pink staining his cheeks, we quietly laughed together as I tucked my face into his neck. I breathed him in for a moment, feeling his hands slide up and down my sides. I felt him shift a bit before he pressed a kiss into the base of my neck, sending chills through my body.

He continues to litter slow kisses up my neck and under my jaw as I sit back up. He takes his time, barely lifting up when he moves so I can feel his breath as he inches his way up. Nobody had ever taken the time he had with me; it felt like he was savoring every kiss. 

My hands timidly moved from his neck down to his chest. If we weren’t here, I would be pulling this shirt off of him. Thankfully, his button-up shirts didn’t leave much to the imagination; I gently tugged on one side, revealing his collarbone that I let my fingertips graze. 

He hums against my skin before moving to press a kiss just under my ear. 

“Mmm,” he rasps quietly, “I could stay here all night.” His low voice sends shivers down my spine and makes my heart throb. I need him.

I stand up, grabbing his hands from my waist. 

“Stand up for me?” I ask quietly, and he doesn’t hesitate to follow through. He leans against his desk as I lean into him. It’s my turn to have some fun. 

I kiss down his jawline as my hands find his hips. Tracing along the top of his belt, I move my lips to his neck; his skin is so warm. Deciding to take my chance, I slide his belt over, starting to undo it. 

“Charlotte,” he whispers, “what are you doing?” 

I look up at him, stilling my hands, to ask, “Is this okay?” 

His eyes meet mine, looking back and forth for a moment like he’s trying to make sense of what I’m doing. But honestly, I’m also trying to make sense of it. 

“Of course, it’s okay. I just—“ he stumbles over his words before I cut him off with a kiss. 

I mumble against his lips, “Let’s not talk about it right now.” 

Quickly undoing his belt and popping the button on his jeans, my mouth is already watering. I drop down to my knees as I’m unzipping him, seeing his cock twitch as I do. He leans over me, flipping the lock on the office door. 

I can’t help but press kisses into his stomach just above his boxers, watching the goosebumps flood his skin. Gently tugging the waistband down, letting him free. Holy shit. My hand immediately ran down his length as I glanced up at him.

“All for me, baby?” Slips out, and he just moans quietly in response. What is he doing to me? His face reddening at the pet name, and my heart is pounding at the soft sounds coming from him. Letting my tongue run up to the tip before sliding him into my mouth. I can barely see him gripping his desk, the veins in his hands popping out harder, which only sends another shock through my body. 

Slowly taking more and more, I want to savor the moment. I’ve never wanted to be in this position more in my life. His little whimpers as I move closer to the base, making me throb. I pull my head back, stroking him for a second as I tease him more. 

“Don’t be shy, I wanna hear you,” I tell him. A strained moan falls from his lips. Before going back in for more, I tuck some loose hair behind my ears. Feeling his hands carefully gather all my hair as he wraps it around his fist, he watches me as I move my head quicker. The moans falling from his lips get louder as I pick up speed. 

Knowing he must be getting close, I say the one thing I know will get him going. 

“Come on, Captain.” 

His head drops back as his hand tightens its grip on my hair, he lets out a breathy, “Please.” 

“Let me have it,” I whisper, plunging my head down his length, feeling his little trail of hair barely touch my nose. I bob my head a few times before using my hand to help get him there, feeling his muscles tense before he finally spits out any sort of warning.

“Charlotte- fuck,” is all he can get out before his orgasm hits him. Hearing him moan my name makes my heart flutter. He accidentally tugs harder on my hair, not that I mind. But lettting go to brush the little hairs away from my face as I pull back and tuck him back into his boxers. 

I sat back on my feet, just admiring him in this state. His face was a little flushed, eyes still closed as a little smile crept onto his face. Finally looking down at me, he reached his hands out for me to take. Pulling me close to him as he kisses me, but I move my face back out of shock. 

“But I just-“ I start; most men I have been with would never kiss me after I did that for them.

“Who cares?” He giggles, pecking my lips a few more times. “Don’t even mind the taste since it’s on your lips.” 

“Oh,” is all I can muster. I was so severely unprepared for how secure he actually was in himself. Why is that so sexy? Have I really wasted that many times on guys who are just insecure? I truly didn’t think that something so simple would make him even more attractive, but here we are. 

“Should I sneak back out there?” I ask as he fixes his belt. 

“If you do, I’ll come out and keep you company,” he says, looking back up at me. He looks like he’s fighting a smile, which I can’t decide what option is cuter. I lean myself into him, pressing a few small kisses against his lips. 

“Okay, I’ll see you in a few minutes,” I whisper, wiping my thumb across his lip gently. ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Sitting back in my seat at the bar, I watch as Josh makes my drink for me. I can’t believe I did that. My mind races with what just happened, the sounds he made, the way even just the thought makes me shift in my seat. 

“Thank you,” I pipe up as Josh slides my drink over to me. He flashes me a toothy grin before hustling over to take someone’s order. I’m not even halfway through my sip when Jacob’s voice floods my ears. 

“You doin’ alright?” his English accent slips out. He sneaks behind the bar but not too far from me. 

“I’ve been waiting for you to show up,” I smirk, taking a sip of my drink. The corners of his mouth quirked. He grabbed the towel next to him before walking over to where I sat. 

“Is that so?” He asks, cocking his eyebrow up. The way he’s looking at me like I’m the only person in the room makes my body warm. I’ve never had someone make me feel like this before. The way he’s standing in front of me, propping himself up against the bar. How his toned arms are lightly flexed, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look past how nice* his hands are. 

“Maybe,” I squeak out, leaning into my hands to try and get a little closer to him. The grin plastered on my face was undeniable. Looking at him in front of me after what just happened makes my head feel dizzy, and I’ve only had one drink. 

“Well, I’m very sorry, honey,” he says, just loud enough for me to hear. He knows exactly what he’s doing, and I’ll be damned; he’s good at it. “Rude of me to leave such a pretty girl like you waiting.” He thinks I’m pretty.  

My mouth moves faster than my brain can when I respond with, “I’ll let it slide this time.” Letting my eyes wander all over him as if nobody could see me. Noticing the way he’s biting the inside of his lip, the little twitch in his hand as my eyes drop to them. The movement of his necklace when he leans forward only fills my head with horrible thoughts. The thought of them bouncing off his chest as he– 

“I’ll make it up to you,” he says, subtly biting his lip. “Promise.” The look he’s giving me makes my thighs clench together. 

“Oh, I’ll be looking forward to that,” I try to hide how nervous that makes me. I haven’t done anything with someone for a while, let alone having someone … do something for me. Usually on my own for that. 

He stares at me for another second before letting his head drop back a little. He stares at the ceiling before shaking it as he looks down. A soft little smile is on his lips. What is he thinking about that has him grinning like that? 

I cave, “What’s that face for?” 

He lets out a laugh, letting his smile grow, showing off his teeth now. His eyes rake over me again, his arms folded over his chest; he really is so cute. 

“It’s nothing,” he finally spits out. 

My eyebrows pull in, “I don’t buy that one bit.” Squinting at him as tries to do the same face back but not being able to hold it.

“I can’t say it right now,” he says, moving closer to the bar. He leans down, propping himself up with his elbows.

“Why not?” I don’t know what is in the air tonight, but I can’t stop myself from poking at him more and more. 

“It’s not the right place,” he laughs, “people could hear me.” 

“Just whisper it to me,” I excitedly spit out, “we can pretend it’s a secret.” I watch as he looks around the room, moves back, and mouths ‘hold on’ to me. 

  He pours two fresh beers from the tap, walks them over to a table, and grabs their empty glasses. He then wanders around the booths for a moment, making sure everybody is happy. I steal glances at him a few times, doing my best to not stare at him, but it’s hard. He’s a deceivingly intoxicating man; you’d never expect it because he’s so quiet at first. 

How he’s gone this long without a girlfriend is beyond me. I guess it’s also something we’ve never really talked about, so maybe he just didn’t care? I can’t imagine girls not liking him. He’s so precious; how could you not develop a crush on him? Oh– I hadn’t thought that hard about that part of whatever this situation is. Do I have a crush on him? But I don’t live here, so that could make him not want to pursue anything– I don’t live that far, maybe he wouldn’t care. My thoughts race with questions of whether I’m making a mistake or not. 

I don’t want to jump into a relationship this fast. I don’t want to waste more time, but I have to do something because I just know Cassie would punch me if I didn’t do this. Suddenly remembering the book that offended me earlier today, ‘Friends with benefits’ plays in my head. Maybe he would be okay with that..? That way I can make sure this is what I want to do. That sounds reasonable, right? I’d say we’re friends and who would say no to the benefits? He already promised me something, and I need to know what that is now.  

I’m pulled from my thoughts when I feel someone gently place their hand on my back. I look over to see him setting a few glasses on the bar. He’s so close I can feel the warmth coming off of him and smell his cologne. 

“Oh, sorry, excuse me,” he giggles quietly. Turning to leave, he stops, sliding his hand up to the base of my neck and lightly giving it a squeeze. He drops his head to whisper, “Was just thinking about how I can’t wait to hear your pretty voice moaning my name.” 

My jaw falls open as he says it; looking up at him, his face is flushed like he’s embarrassed to admit it. He gives me a slow wink before sauntering off to talk to customers, leaving me to think about that. I definitely need to know what he plans on doing to make it up to me now. 

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Our nightly routine begins once more as we walk in comfortable silence to my car. 

I quietly break the silence, letting out, “The sky looks so pretty tonight.”

His head tilts up quickly to take it in while I watch him. His eyes scanned all the stars and the light from the moon, illuminating him with no cloud in sight. 

“She really is amazing, isn’t she?” he spoke so softly, looking over at me. 

“Who..?” 

“The moon,” he chokes back a little laugh. “She’s incredible.” He looks so happy as he looks back up at the sky. The chill of November made it so I could see his breath as we walked, but it also kept me closer to him in hopes of stealing some of his warmth. 

Our hands timidly brush against each other a few times until he glances down, sliding his hand into mine. I just know Cassie is somewhere screaming over how  I am with him. I just look at our hands intertwined, the way his thumb just runs over mine, and smile when he squeezes a little to make me look at him. 

“Your chariot, madame,” he says, gesturing his free hand to my car. 

“Oh, thank you, sir.” I try to play along, letting a small laugh slip partway through. We just stood there in comfortable silence for a second, still hand in hand. 

“So,” he mumbles, “I’ll see you tomorrow?” I nod, fighting the urge to just stare at his mouth. 

“Drive home safe. Text me when you make it. You know the drill at this point,” his sweet giggle lacing the latter half. 

“Of course, mhm,” I tell him, moving a little closer to him, “I hope you have a good rest of your night, Jacob.” His eyes practically twinkling in the moonlight as I gaze at him. He leans in, his plump lips pressed into mine but backs up quickly with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Back to my full name already?” his smug little tone made me laugh. My hands grab the sides of his face, pulling him back in for another kiss. 

“I didn’t think you’d want me to call you Captain in public after that,” I say against his lips; he lets out a small groan at the name. 

“I’ll let it slide this time,” he mocks me, stepping back and grabbing my hands. He pulls them up, placing little kisses across my knuckles. How is he real? He reaches past me to open my car door. 

“Now, get home before it’s too late.” 

I toss my bag into the passenger seat before sitting down and starting it. Turning to him one more time, looking up at him, I can’t stop myself from smiling. I grab his shirt and tug him towards me. His hand holding onto the doorframe, leans down, hovering over my mouth until I finally cave.

 “One more,” I mumble before closing the gap between us. He laughs into me, knowing I full well just stole his line. 

“I’ll be waiting for your text,” he says, pointing at me with his eyebrows raised as he moves back to shut my door. 

I sit there for a minute, just watching as he walks back towards the bar until he’s finally out of sight. I click on the address in my maps and set my phone in the cup holder. Looking back up at the moon, seeing how bright it is tonight. She is beautiful. 

I can’t take my eyes away from it, feeling the tears settling in, and into the quiet of my car I whisper, “I hope you’re proud of me, and god, I wish I could call you right now.” 

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Chapter Eleven

Chapter Thirteen

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this is how you fall in love - Jeremy Zucker & Chelsea Cutler “You are the reason I never think twice, wherever we go, what glitters is gold, You’ll be my best friend until we grow old.”

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It’s beyond me how this man is always awake early when he goes to bed so late. I crawl out of bed and pull a sweatshirt out of his closet. It’s just long enough to cover everything; I forget that he’s not incredibly tall until these moments. 

“There you are,” I let out, walking into the kitchen as he’s making coffee for us. He’s still just in his boxers, a feast for the eyes. Well, mine, at least. Sliding my arms around his waist, pressing a kiss into his shoulder. 

“Good morning,” his voice still slightly husky from sleep. “I was gonna bring this to you– go get back in bed.” 

My face still pressed against him as I giggled, “We can pretend I didn’t ruin the surprise.” He rubs my arm for a second before I force myself to go back into the bedroom. Crawling back into my spot in bed, it’s not long before he comes in, pushing the door shut with his foot. 

“Thank you, baby,” I tell him as I’m stealing my coffee from him. He slides back into bed, pulling my legs over his.  “Mmm, wish we could just do this all day.” Resting my head against him for a second. 

“Hear me out.. We both just quit our jobs,” he says, giggling quietly. 

I look at him, my eyebrow cocked as high as it can go, “You’d never give up the bar, don’t lie.” 

“You’re right, but I also make my schedule so.. I could just not work,” he says. “You, on the other hand.” His side-eye was astronomical as he took a big sip of coffee. 

The last thing I need is for him to realize I’ve been fucking around with my job. 

“How long do you have to be there?” I ask. 

He sets his coffee mug on his nightstand, mumbling, “Josh is closing tonight, so whenever he tells me to leave.” 

“…so we could go out?” 

“What did you have in mind?” 

“Anything where we can dress cute and not be in YOUR bar,” I smirk, batting my eyelashes at him a bit. 

His little smile creeps onto his face, “Mmmm.. maybe we can grab dinner then?” 

“Ooo, yes!” I can’t contain my excitement, not fully expecting him to agree that easily.  “You don’t mind dressing up with me?” 

He laughs before saying, “I can clean up once in a while.” 

“More handsome than usual? I’ll have to fight the girls off you.” I giggle, handing him my coffee to set on the nightstand for me. 

He turns back to me, pulling me onto his lap. He chuckles to himself, “I don’t think you’ll have to be doing all that,” he leans up to kiss me, mumbling against my lips. “But it’s cute that you would.” 

I lean forward, laying against his chest and tucking my face into his neck; I’ll never get over how cozy he is. He pulls the comforter up to cover me, wrapping his arms around me. Closing my eyes and breathing him in, enjoying the feeling of him gently scratching my back. 

“Maybe you were onto something with quitting our jobs,” I said into him with a laugh. 

Feeling his chest vibrate when he laughs makes my heart flutter a little; I shift, trying to make myself a little more comfortable. My hips pressing into him slightly. 

“Hey you,” his voice low. “I can only control what happens so much if you’re gonna be doing that.” 

I sit up to look at him, fully letting my hips grind into him, “What do you mean?” I quietly ask him, pretending I can’t already tell what’s happening. 

“Char-” 

“Yes, Jake?” I smirk, my hands settling on his stomach, toying with the waistband of his boxers. Watching his eyes flit between mine and my lips as I sit here. “You already know if I start something, I’m more than happy to finish it.”

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Leaving him today proved more difficult than I expected. Granted, deciding to try and just give him head turned into early morning sex. Not that I’m complaining; it was lovely, but it definitely slowed down the getting-out-of-bed process a bit. 

Once I made it back “home,” I found myself rummaging through the clothes I had in the closet. I pulled out a pair of light-wash jeans. I couldn’t tell you the last time I wore regular jeans. The idea finally hit. I pulled out one of my body suits, slipped it on, and looked in the mirror. The neckline is deep; I readjusted it a little so the cleavage looked a little better. 

I sit in front of my mirror, dragging my makeup bag closer. Maybe just a little extra won’t hurt. I pick up my phone, turn on some music, and check my texts before I actually start. 

Jacob: time is going by so slow this is painful   

Me: Oh, are we feeling clingy today? 

I giggle, setting my phone down and starting to work on my makeup. It’s always been a therapeutic thing for me. I’ve never been one to wear a ton of it, but the process of getting ready was always lovely. It’s probably something to do with routine. Nevertheless, even if it’s just me fluffing up my eyebrows and mascara, the few moments with some quiet music always comforted me. 

Mindlessly, I sat there, listening to whatever came on shuffle while intermittently replying to Jacob. I love it when he sends me random thoughts or just wants to have a little conversation when I’m not in his presence. It feels nice having someone just want to talk to you. 

Though, I have been very fortunate since meeting him. After introducing me to Quinn, Willa, and Mel, I suddenly feel less alone. Even if Cass did just recently pass away, and I’m still trying to handle that on my own, it really is lovely just to have a handful of friends who are there to just chat about whatever and giggle like she and I used to. I’ve never been one to have many friends, so having a little group of us now is fun. 

Part of my problem was living so far north; there were just not many people growing up, and unfortunately, my family situation wasn’t necessarily ideal. My sister is thirteen years older than me, so we didn’t have that close sisterly bond that a lot do. We’re more friendly now that we’re both adults, but I wouldn’t have considered her like a friend to me growing up. I spent a lot of my life as a makeshift only child because she moved out when I was six. 

My parents are also quite a bit older and were deep into their careers while I was growing up, which is probably part of why I get too invested in my job. I love them, but it made me grow up a bit faster, and I ended up not having many friends because of it. I didn’t relate to the kids around me, and there were only so many to begin with. 

I had never been more relieved than when I met Cass, and she clung to me, regardless of how annoying I can be sometimes.  

I’m quickly pulled out of my thoughts when I realize my music stopped. Looking over to my phone, oh no. My boss’s name sits across the screen; why right now? I stare at it as it rings, watching it go back to my lock screen, and the music starts playing again; taking a deep breath and continuing to get ready. 

What are you doing? Why wouldn’t you answer it? 

He’ll leave a voicemail, and then, at least, I can figure out what to tell him.

You’re really playing with fire here, Char. 

Once I’m happy with how my lipstick looks, I tend to nitpick it; I grab my phone nervously. Staring at the notification that my boss had indeed left a voicemail, I hesitated to click on it. 

“Hey Charlotte, I was hoping to catch you real quick to chat, but if you could just call me back when you get a second, that would be great. Thanks.” 

The nerves die off a bit after listening, not too bad, okay. He definitely didn’t sound happy, but it could have been worse. It will be worse if you don’t just call him back.  I will just.. Not right now. I sat there staring at my phone for a second before doing the only thing I knew would make me feel better. 

Me: I’m excited to show you my outfit soon 

Jacob: you’re gonna give me a heart attack aren’t you? 

His response made me laugh; it’ll never make sense how he’s never managed to keep a girl around. He truly is such a lovely man; I’ve never had someone make me feel like he does. I’m sure he’s tired of being told how sweet he is, but I don’t know if there’s a better word to describe him. I’ve never met someone like him who wasn’t on the pages of a book I was reading. 

Plugging in my curling iron, I pick up my phone, scrolling through emails to see what I should reply to before I leave—quickly answering some that don’t require much brain power before taking the time to curl my hair. I’ll clock in for a little bit before I go just to see how much I can get through. Plus, he might want a few minutes to change and whatnot anyway.  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

I spent a while working before I finally left. I definitely didn’t need nearly as much time to get ready as I thought. The drive back to Portland felt like forever, likely because I’m actually excited to be here tonight. I pull out my phone to text him as I walk up the stairs. 

Me: I’m here :) 

Jacob: the doors unlocked 

I sneak into the apartment, and I can hear him shuffling around; why am I nervous to see him? 

The sound of his boots against the wood floor echoes through the space as he comes around the corner. His eyes rake down my body, and I feel warm just seeing him. 

“You look–” he says, grabbing my hands, still fully looking me up and down.  “God, you’re so gorgeous.” Feeling the blood rush into my face. I don’t think I’ll get used to him complimenting me. 

I finally got a full look at him; he was in all black, his button-up hardly even buttoned, with a jacket on top. His black jeans ripped at the knees, with his nicer boots. His necklace sits pretty against his chest; his watch and the few rings he added made my mouth water. 

“You’re pretty handsome yourself,” I tell him, leaning in closer to him. “Glad I get to stare at you all night.” 

“You and me both,” he says, his hands holding my waist. “Are you sure you want to go out? We could just.. stay here..” He gives me a slow, lazy wink as he leans in, pressing his lips against my cheek. 

Running my hands up his chest, fiddling with his necklace, “If I weren’t starving, I’d consider.” 

“So later?”

“With you looking like this,” I giggle, patting his bare chest. “I’m going to say absolutely yes.”

His eyes light up at my answer, and with a smirk, he says, “Well, we should probably head out if you’re starving. Definitely not to get to the other part or anything.”  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

I’d say the best part of him living in the Old Port is that anything we do is typically within walking distance from the bar. It’s not a super common thing in Maine to be able to walk to whatever you want, so it’s definitely a perk of the area. 

He immediately grabbed my hand once we started our walk to grab food, lacing his fingers through mine. I wonder if he’s thinking of this as a date. It’s kind of hard to deny at this point, but we just didn’t say the word. My stomach turns at the thought. Maybe I like him a bit more than I planned, but it’s okay. It’s fine. Right? 

His voice pulls me out of my thoughts when he asks, “Have you been to Pai Mein?” 

“No, Cass and I pretty much only went to bars out here,” I tell him, looking over at him. 

“Oh, you’re in for a treat,” he says,  meeting my stare. “Sam convinced me after he talked about it a million times, and unfortunately, he was correct. It's so good.”

I laugh at his disappointment but squeeze his hand a few times, “I’m excited.” 

We spend the rest of the walk quietly pointing out things in the shops we’re passing, and I’m trying to ignore our reflections in the window when we stop for a second to look at something a little closer. However, getting a glimpse of him in his going-out fit just reminds me of how good he looks tonight, and I could just take a bite out of him. 

He pulls open the door to the restaurant, letting me through first. I gently grab his hand as he talks to the hostess. Following behind him to our table, which ended up being towards the back of the small space. He carefully pulled out my chair for me; why was that kinda..? 

We sat quietly for a minute, browsing the menu after ordering our drinks. Everything here sounds good; this is awful. I look up, watching him as he reads through things. It’s hard not to get distracted by him, even when he’s genuinely doing nothing. He fidgets quietly, gently picking at his bottom lip as he reads. Finally, looking up when the server comes back with our drinks to mumble a small ‘thank you.’ 

“It’s cute in here,” I tell him, glancing over at the kitchen which is exposed. 

His lips pull into a soft smile, “I had a feeling you’d like it.” 

It’s only a few minutes until the server is back to take our order, stealing the menus back from us, and now there’s nothing else to look at besides him.

“So, the bar was terrible today, huh?” I tease him.

He leans forward a little before saying, “Awful, actually.” His little giggle followed it, which only made the butterflies worse. 

“Well, at least,” I start, but hesitate when I feel his hand graze the back of my calf. He leans into his other hand, elbow propped up on the table as he lightly runs his hand up and down my leg. I don’t think I realized how close we were until just now. “Um, at least you’re free for the evening.” 

I don’t know what’s worse, the way he touches me constantly or the way he stares at me when I talk. 

“Mhmm,” he hums. “I’d be sitting in my office if you didn’t want to do something, so I appreciate it.”

Of course, he would. “You know you’re allowed to just leave the bar if you don’t need to be there?” 

His hand found its way up to hold my knee, and I snaked my own under the table, playing with the two rings he had on. 

“I don’t even know what else I would do,” he admits. 

I tap the back of his hand a few times, “It sounds like you need a hobby.”

“I could read more,” he says quietly. “Maybe I can actually read one of those books you seem to enjoy so much.” 

The cough just sort of happened, so I grabbed my drink quickly. Oh my god, he would be lethal if he had more ideas on how to be perfect. 

“I definitely meant to bring you one,” I let out a small laugh. “You just have to promise you won’t make fun of me if you hate it.”

“Hun, my favorite movie is a rom-com. You really think I’m going to laugh at you for reading romance?” 

I can feel my face start to turn red, “Yeah, but there’s.. smut.. in them.” 

“Yes, and,” he whispers back. “If anything, it could just benefit you.” 

I clear my throat, “Yeah, that’s what I was afraid of.” 

“Why afraid?” he questions, but thankfully for me, our server walks up with our food in time, so I do not have to explain that to him.  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Something about him makes the silence comfortable, in this case, just the silence as I may as well have inhaled my food. Sam is correct– they have incredible ramen. He told me about some things that happened in the bar while he was “trapped” there today– his word, not mine. Mindlessly, I found myself with my foot hooked around his leg until he was done eating, and he quickly dropped his hand down to hold the back of my leg again. 

No matter how many times I’ve witnessed him pay for something, it makes my head spin when he does. Something about him being confident enough not to look at the bill makes me sweat; I think because he’s so quiet and unassuming, it's a little shocking whenever he does something to that degree. 

I followed his lead back outside; he held his hand back for me, and I immediately laced my fingers into his. 

“Should we.. grab drinks? Since we’re already out,” he asks.  

I look over at him; he’s so close. I let out a quiet, “Where are you thinking?” 

“Wherever you want,” he says, tugging me closer. 

“Wait, really?” 

He leans in, leaving a sweet kiss on my lips, mumbling, “Really.”

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

We wandered around, finding ourselves in another older bar. Posting up on some barstools towards the end of the bar, we both order drinks. Hearing him order whiskey makes me wish we hadn’t left the apartment. I was a bit surprised when he suggested drinks, and honestly, curiosity got the best of me. 

Watching him actually enjoy himself and have drinks was such a treat for me. I was prepared for him to drink a little too much after meeting him the first time, just owning a bar at a younger age. I’ve been around bar owners enough to know that it’s a slippery slope, and many of them tend to slide down it. 

So, when I realized that he was actually not a big drinker, it was relieving. Obviously, the black-out drunk underage story did clear up some things for me; even if it wasn’t his best moment, it was still precious to see. It’s nice seeing him be a normal person sometimes. 

We sat there sipping on drinks for a while, talking about whatever came to mind. Something about how he speaks, I could just listen to him read the dictionary. Maybe my drink is also starting to kick in. 

He is full of stories about him with his brothers, and their family just seems so fun. The way he laughs during almost every story about them is so adorable; I love that he loves them so much. Sitting here, I notice the pink in his cheeks slowly creeping in. 

After the last couple of weeks, I definitely have noticed little things that he does, whether he’s aware of it or not. He admitted right away to be a physically affectionate kind of person, but I don’t think I anticipated what that meant besides sex, obviously. 

He has a way of just making contact with me– subconsciously. Lightly grabbing my hand or my arm randomly while telling me something. He’ll leave his hand on my thigh while I’m talking, gently scratching or tapping his fingers against me. The little touches are something I wasn’t necessarily prepared for, but now I crave them when I’m around him. 

“I’ll be right back, hun,” he mumbles, kissing the side of my head before scurrying off to the bathroom. I turn to watch him walk off, not that I’m necessarily proud of that, but he looks so fucking good, it’s hard not to. 

After a few minutes, I feel his arms wrap around me, tucking his face into my neck, secretly pressing a few little pecks into my neck.

 “Mmm, hi,” his little mumbles were barely loud enough for me to hear.

“Are you a little tipsy, Jacob?” I ask quietly. 

His smile gave him away, “Who’s to say?” 

“Oh, I think I’m to say,” I giggle. “I was hoping I would get to meet him at some point.” 

His laugh flooded my brain, “Well, eat your heart out, honey.” 

We moved to a little table off in the corner, both of us sitting in the booth seat together. His arm propped up on the back of it as he turned to face me a little, with his drink in the other hand. I can see in his eyes that the alcohol is definitely hitting, and I shouldn’t be as excited as I am for it. 

“So, I know they told you about my failed attempts at dating,” he says, taking a small sip of his drink. “Who has been lucky enough to take you out?” 

My face warms at the thought of admitting that I would usually have never picked someone like him, “Ohhh.. haha, well.” 

“It’s only fair,” his eyebrow raises. I hate that he’s right. 

“Just very clean-cut, shitty finance guys,” I sigh. “They were always just.. boring.” 

He giggles at the comment. 

“Not that my job on paper sounds exhilarating, but–” I try to justify myself a little. 

He chimes in quickly, “No, but the fact you asked for bourbon the first time I met you definitely made me curious.” His voice lowers slightly before asking, “How did you go from clean-cut, boring men to .. us sleeping together?” Oh, what a good question, Jacob. 

“You were just .. so— nice,” I tell him, which isn’t a total lie.  

“Me being nice is all it took? Honey, get higher standards,” he laughs, his eyebrows raised. 

If he only knew that, he is so incredibly far above the standard for men. 

“I mean, you were also so humble,” I start. He deserves to have his ego stroked. Leaning close to his ear to whisper the rest, “I knew the dick had to be good.” 

His hand grips the top of my thigh tighter as he quietly laughs. He turns his face, hovering his lips over my ear when he mumbles, “Bet none of them made you come, huh?” 

“You’d be correct,” I tell him. “And if I did, it was because I took care of it.” 

His eyes drifted from my eyes to my lips, “You deserve better than that.” 

“All I’m gonna say is,” I start, letting out a small laugh. “I don’t want to know how you got so good in bed, but I’m not going to complain.” 

His eyes light up at the subtle compliment, “You think I'm that good?” 

Great. Fantastic. Super. Wonderful. Outstanding. Riveting. Incredible. Deserves a standing ovation. 

“You could say that,” I say before sipping on my drink and watching him pull his lip in with his teeth for a second. The way this man looks at me at any given moment makes me a little nervous, but adding alcohol has only made it worse. 

“Don’t be shy now,” He teases. “You already know the bulk of my past with women, but I’m not afraid to admit that you’re the best sex I’ve ever had.” 

Grabbing his chin, I pull him close, pressing a couple of small kisses against his lips. He tastes like whiskey. The butterflies when I open my eyes quickly, seeing how his eyelashes sit against his cheeks. His expression is so soft; he really is the sweetest boy.

“The feeling is mutual, babe,” I mumble against his lips, feeling the smile before I could see it. His hand rubs my thigh as we sit there with our faces a breath apart. I had never been with someone where I felt like I couldn’t stop myself; something about Jacob was different. So.. maybe I have a bit of a crush on him.. But how could I not?  The cute little smile on his face when I call him ‘babe’ will never get old. 

He’s intoxicating; he has an aura about him that just makes me want to crawl into his skin. Something about him short circuits my brain a lot of the time: the way he looks at me and always seems to want to take care of me– in a few different ways. 

“Are you excited for Wednesday?” I ask, forcing myself to focus on him. 

His eyebrows pull together, “What do you mean?”

“It’s the anniversary of the bar being open, isn’t it?” I start to second guess myself. 

“Oh, yes, it is.” His voice sounded surprised. Running his hand over his face, “Shit, that’s soon.” 

“Quinn mentioned something about it,” I tell him, trying to see how he reacts.

He laughs uncomfortably, “Yeah if there’s ever a celebration, assume they and Josh are behind it.”

Why does he seem nervous? I finally ask quietly, “Do you not want a celebration thing for it?”

“No, it’s okay, I just-” He hesitates a bit. 

“You worked hard; you deserve your moment.”

“I mean–”

“No, you shut up,” I cut him off, poking his chest lightly with a small laugh, “Mr. ‘I-can-hardly-leave-the-bar-without-checking-in-every-two-minutes,’ you deserve the attention.”

He moves closer to me, “I only want your attention.” I could throw up. 

I tap the tip of his nose a few times, “Don’t try to suck up to me right now; this is about you.” 

“Will you be there?” He asks, his eyes flit between my eyes and my mouth. 

“Do you want me there?”

“Mhm,” he nods. 

“I’ll hold your hand if you get nervous.” 

“Mmm, perfect,” He mumbles. “Actually, I’m a bit nervous now if you wanna get a jumpstart,” he pops his eyebrows a few times. 

He holds out his hand for me, sliding mine into it. Nodding his head towards the bar, I follow his lead. With a tight grip on mine, his hand pulled me through people who were getting up to the bar quickly. Ordering more drinks for the two of us, he turns to look at me as we wait; his thumb is rubbing against mine. He hands my drink to me before grabbing his. 

He starts to walk back over to the little table we were sitting at when he stops dead in his tracks, turning to look at me. 

“Do you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“It’s Bob Seger!”

I can’t help but laugh at how excited he gets. After a second, I can hear it through the chatter of the bar, the sweet sounds of Bob ringing through yet another bar. He slowly walks backward toward the table, sipping on his drink for a second before the chorus hits.

He pulls our hands close to his mouth as he sings, “And those Hollywood nights, in those Hollywood hills,” pretending my hand is the microphone. I pull him to the side so he won’t trip over a chair in the process, but that doesn’t stop him. He’s adorable. 

“She was looking so right, in her diamonds and frills,” his raspy little voice still going strong. He holds my hand up, spinning me in front of him before pulling me in close. He wraps his other arm carefully around me and sways the two of us together; he can’t be real, my hand still in his as we rock back and forth. His eyes are soft as he looks at me, and I swear, even in the dim lights of this bar, I can see them sparkle. 

“All those big city nights,” he sings next to my ear. “In those high rolling hills.”

Backing into the table we had been at, he spins us around, letting me sit down first. He sets his drink on the table before sitting next to me. I just watch him sing the last lines of the chorus and sing the guitar parts when there are no words left. I love it when he is just.. himself. I could spend forever watching him have fun. 

Once his karaoke moment ends, he sits back against the booth, quietly staring at me with his eyebrows pulled together. 

“What’s going on in there?” I smooth his brow with my thumb. 

“What am I supposed to do next weekend?” He asks, sipping on his drink. 

“What do you mean?”

“Well, it’ll be the holiday weekend, and I assume you will be with your family,” he says, sounding a bit sad. 

Shit, I didn’t even think about that. 

I force out a quick, “Oh, that’s true..” 

“Mhmm,” he lets out a little sigh, “And I’ve been spoiled with seeing you all the time.” His hand ran down the back of my head gently. 

“Ohh,” I taunt. I have to tease him a little, asking, “Is someone going to miss me?” 

He pouts his bottom lip, “I fear I just might.”

“Oh, my poor baby,” I coo; my hand holds the side of his face, running my thumb over his cheekbone as he stares back at me. 

He leans into my hand and sighs, “Mmm, I know.” 

“Well, maybe,” I start, tracing my finger along his jaw. “We can play that little game again while I’m home.” 

“Mmm, what game is that?” His eyes focus more on my lips than my eyes, which honestly is okay with me. 

“You know.. where you tell me all the terrible thoughts in your head,” I whisper, leaning closer to him. “And I’ll send you a photoshoot in all the lingerie that I own.”

“All?” His eyebrows raised. 

I giggle to myself, pressing my lips into his. 

“Mhm. Whatever your heart desires, baby.”

He tucked his face into the crook of my neck, and I could feel how warm he was. He wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. 

“Why are you hiding?” I say through a laugh. 

He double pats my leg, mumbling, “You.” 

“Me!?” 

Sitting up a little, he leans close to my ear, “Sometimes you just say things, and I have to fight demons not to let very specific things happen.”

Oh! I guess I do forget that he’s still a man sometimes. I slid my hand over his lap, and a shitty little smirk laced my lips as I did it. He grabbed my hand insanely fast, making me laugh as he looked at me with his eyebrow perked up. 

“Char– I swear,” his voice lowers. “I’d throw you over my shoulder and run out of here if I could stand up right now.” 

I lay my head against his arm that’s propped up on the back of the seat, looking up at him through my lashes, “I wish you would.”  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

After one more drink and Jacob composing himself, I watch him glance at the time on his watch.  His English accent made an appearance, “Shall we head back, darling?”

“I think so,” I giggle at him. He holds out his hand for me, keeping my hand in his as we go up to the bar for him to close his tab. 

He let go of me for all of ten seconds, but watching his hands as he signed the bill, sliding his wallet back into his pocket- my mouth was watering. He can be so smooth sometimes, I think, as he slides his hand back into mine. 

“Ready?” 

I nod quickly, “Lead the way, babes.”

We stumble around giggling, hand in hand, and I can’t get over how silly he is when he’s drunk. The smile on this boy is brighter than the sun. His arm drapes over my shoulders, and I can’t help it when I slide my hand into his. 

He grabs my face, turning my head and leaning in for a kiss or two. Giggling when I ask, “What are we gonna do with this drunken sailor?” 

“Put him in a long boat til’ he’s sober!” 

My jaw drops before the laugh comes out, not anticipating him to sing a sea shanty in the middle of the Old Port. I suppose I shouldn’t be that surprised, considering who we are working with here. 

“Now, is that the only option?” I ask– yes, I know the song. 

“Put him in bed with the captain’s daughter,” his sweet voice sings, wiggling his eyebrows at me. 

He’s so cute; I can’t stand him. 

“Let’s stick with the long boat tonight, Sailor,” I grab his hands as he looks at me, “I like calling you ‘Captain’ too much– I don’t wanna ruin that.” 

He pulls one of my hands up, kissing the back of it and then my knuckles, staring at me the entire time; his little grin kills me as he says, “Every time I think I have my sea legs around you, you say some shit like that.” 

Amid our giggles, he pulls out a cigarette, carefully lighting it. Watching him hold it between his lips as he covers the flame with his hand, preventing the wind from messing with it. I shouldn’t enjoy this like I do. I can see him inhale, and how he breathes out the smoke makes my knees weak. Maybe it’s just the alcohol talking. 

His laugh brought me back to earth, “What?” 

“I– um,” I hesitated, looking down quickly, not necessarily sure of how to tell him that I was just drooling over his bad habit. I look back at him as he’s about to inhale again, but as soon as his hand drops back down, I don’t know what came over me. Stepping in front of him, my hands pull his face to mine, breathing him in as we kiss. My lips encouraged him to just.. exhale into me. I feel his smirk against me. 

He mumbles, “I didn’t think you liked.. that.. kind of thing.”

“Me either.”

His eyebrow raises at my response, “Oh?” 

I laugh at myself before finally caving, “You just look so fine when you do; I guess I don’t mind it.” 

“You think so, huh?” he says smugly, his hand pulling me close to him and settling on my lower back. He mumbles, “Here.” Pulling the cigarette back up to his lips, he takes a small drag before leaning in. His lips slightly parted, breathing the small amount of smoke into me, humming a small ‘mmm’ against my lips as he pulled away. I look to the side, breathing out the little bit of smoke left. 

“Um,” sneaks out of me as I look back at him. The cool air makes the tip of his nose a little red, mixing with the alcohol that has his cheeks tinted pink, his eyes practically twinkling in the dim glow of the moon and a distant street lamp. My heart pounds in my chest as we just stare at each other for what feels like an hour, even though it was maybe a few seconds. Maybe.. this is a little more than a crush. 

His hand moved from my back, sliding down my forearm and into my hand, his sweet little voice mumbling, “Come on, honey. Let’s go home.” ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

I plop down on the couch, watching him wander around in the kitchen. He finally makes his way over to join me, holding out a glass for me.  

“Trying to keep me drunk, are you?” I ask, taking the glass of what I can only assume is bourbon. 

He giggles as he sits down, “Not drunk, just relaxed.”  

“Mmm, I’m sure,” I raise an eyebrow but still take a sip. “So, what do you guys do for the holiday?” 

He lets out a little sigh, “Well, my parents will be here. They always come up and stay in an Airbnb nearby.” 

“Is that.. bad?” 

“No, not at all. They always get a place big enough so we can all go over and spend the day together,” he says, his tone sounding off. What about that is bothering him? “Sometimes we end up sleeping there; it just depends on how much everyone has to drink or if my mom convinces us to stay there.” He smiles a little, but something just doesn’t seem right about it. Reaching my hand over and running it down the back of his head, playing with a little section of his hair. 

“Is something wrong?” I ask, my eyebrows pulling together as I look at him. 

He sips his drink before answering, “I mean.. no.” 

“Wanna try that again, sailor?” I can’t stop the smirk that grows on my face, and watching him smile back at me made it worth it. 

“I’m just being a little dramatic about it,” he giggles, the most incredible sound I could hear right now. “I know Willa and Quinn are coming this year, and I guess I’m just.. a little bummed about– seventh wheeling.” 

I can’t help but laugh after watching him count in his head to figure it out. I wish I could go with him so he didn’t have to be alone. I mean, I– oh no. 

“Well,” I start. “I will be bored out of my mind with my parents and sister, so I’ll at least bug you throughout the day.”

He turns his head, kissing the palm of my hand before looking back to me, “You’re so sweet. We can be bored together.” I scoot a bit closer to him, letting our legs bump into each other. 

We sit there for a little bit, slowly sipping on our drinks and laughing about random things together. His hand found comfort on my leg, per usual. The fact he put rings on tonight made it hard for me not to want to touch his hands– sitting there twisting them slowly, these need to stay on forever. 

Standing up, he drinks the last of his bourbon and quietly sets his glass in the sink. I watch as he slowly walks off, stopping kind of abruptly once he realizes I’m still sitting here. 

“You comin’, love?” his English accent laid on thick, one eyebrow raised, when he hit me with a wink. My thighs clenched at the sight of it, which he definitely noticed because of that stupid smirk on his face. 

I stand up, wander over to him, and quietly ask, “Where are we going?” 

He leans down, scooping me up in his arms, bridal style, which makes us both laugh, as he starts walking to his room.  

“The real question,” he starts. I hate that the accent is kind of hot. “What do you want to do with this drunken sailor?”  

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty-One

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Smiling in my seat, I know they’re talking about me. I sit in the stands every home game, in the same spot. I wear his jersey with his number adorning either side and his last name stretched across my back.

Soon to be my last name I can’t help but think. 

I glance down to the ring on my left hand. Jake had proposed just the weekend before. My goofy boy had taken us to one of our favorite hangout spots we lovingly referred to as The Cabin. This small cabin in the woods had been the first place Jake and I had taken a vacation together, just the two of us. He made a standing reservation for us every six months since that weekend. 

Last weekend was our fifth trip. 

Two and a half years dating a man who made me feel like I could conquer the world, especially by his side. 

When we drove up to The Cabin, nothing looked different. Once we stepped inside however, a million bells started going off in my brain. There were fairy lights strung everywhere. Our favorite album played on a loop softly in the background. I turned back to Jake, my Jacob, to find him on his knee. He was barely able to get a word out before a sob escaped his throat and we both fell to the floor. I didn’t need his words to tell me what I already knew. 

A buzzer going off yanks me out of my pleasant thoughts. 

“Kiszka, number twenty-three with the goal!” 

I’m out of my chair and screaming before the announcer can finish. Jake’s team has an aggressive lead, I’m almost positive they’ll have an easy win tonight. For the last five minutes of his game, my eyes never leave number twenty-three. 

When the final buzzer rings signifying the end of the game, I cannot get out of my seat fast enough. I quickly  flash my media pass to security and run down the hall looking for him. 

“Y/N! Baby!” I hear faintly from behind me. His eyes are what I spot first and I’m off like a cannonball towards him. Even in all of his gear, I can’t help but jump into his waiting arms. 

“There’s my girl,” he says to me while giving me a small kiss on my forehead. 

“You did amazing tonight.” I say, knowing giving him just a little glimmer of praise has him wanting me even more. He sets me down on my feet and walks me outside of the locker room. 

“Five minutes,” he promises while squeezing my hand. Then I watch him disappear into a room filled with manly hoots and hollers. 

Five minutes later, just as promised, he comes out showered and changed. The smell of a game well done exchanged with the cologne I got him last christmas, the one that he says always reminds him of me.

We quickly hit the press room, where I watch Jake and all of his PR training shine. He then guides me towards the garage for the team, and it becomes hard to hide my excitement to finally be alone with him. When we get into our car I’m practically vibrating.

“What has gotten into my girl today?” he says while resting a hand on my thigh. The way he says that, my girl, always sends a shiver down my spine. 

“I just love watching you play so well, baby.” I move slowly to intertwine our fingers while the heat from his hand spreads like wildfire across my skin. 

I watch as he moves our hands higher up my leg. I know this car ride isn’t long, about ten minutes with good traffic. I’m going to try and use all of it to my advantage. 

“Just watching you in your element,” I continue, “you look so good I can’t take my eyes off of you.” 

His hand grips my thigh dangerously close to where I want him, a low growl cutting through the air. I glance at the gps between us, seven minutes glowing back to me from the screen. 

“When you checked that other guy for getting on top of your teammate? I couldn’t get to you fast enough after.” 

“Y/N.” My name rips through the air like a warning, but I know it’s a bottomless threat. I’ve been watching his eyes fight to stay on the road now. 

“I need to get you back in one piece so I can unravel you at home.” 

His low assertive voice had me squeezing my legs together, but not before his hand could find my center. 

“Open,” he says and the low gravel of his voice has me complying immediately. “That’s my good girl.” His fingers quickly find my clit since I have no underwear on, a request from him when I wear his jerseys to the game, as I try to not fully melt into the seat. The smirk dancing across his lips when he thinks he’s won has me baiting for more. 

“My girl, always so wet for me,” he murmurs. 

“Hard not to be when you play a game as good as that.” My traitorous hips start moving with his fingers,  begging for more. 

“I love when you’re sitting in the stands, I swear it makes me play even harder.” I feel one of his fingers getting close to my entrance. I try to look calm, even though I feel my orgasm inching closer and closer by the second. 

I take another glance at the clock, three minutes to go. 

“You know what I love even more?” He asks while finally inserting a finger inside me, a moan slips past my lips. “How my girl is so ready for me after.”  

“You look so fucking good on the ice,” my voice sounds breathy, far away. I know I’m losing control but I can’t stop focusing on his hand. 

“This is my real win of the evening.” He enters another finger and keeps his thumb on my clit. 

“Jake, baby. Don’t stop. I need you.” I’ve given up my ruse, not caring how desperate I’m sounding. He keeps expertly moving his hands, getting his fingers to that soft spot inside of me he knows will push me over the edge. 

“I want to hear you, Y/N.” 

That’s all I needed to hear before my orgasm ripped through me. I'm filling the quiet air chanting Jake’s name and screaming unintelligible words while I feel him watch me come undone.  

I hear quiet murmurs of praise coming from Jake, a mixture of “that’s my girl” and “you look so beautiful”. 

As I finally come down, I heard the soft ‘click’ of the garage opener, and realized where we were.

 I watch as Jake smoothly pulls into the garage and turns off the car. He leans across the console and presses a soft kiss to my lips. We get out of the car and Jake meets me at the door. He quickly flips me over his shoulder, making me squeal. A loud slap rings through the air, my ass is tingling. 

“Hope you didn’t think I was done with you quite yet, baby.” Jake says as he brings us inside our home. 

Want more hockey Jake? 🤭👀 lmk