Jul 17, 2025
SwerveAlert !!! based on a scene from the fic Little Talks by @teletraantwo <3
alts under the cut bc i liked them too:
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SwerveAlert !!! based on a scene from the fic Little Talks by @teletraantwo <3
alts under the cut bc i liked them too:
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Red Alert getting so used to Swerve’s consistent nonsense that when he wakes up one day and nothing in the room is changed he goes into full panic mode and hunts Swerve down while telling everyone he crosses paths with that something’s happened to him.
Going a little off the rails the more people are like ‘oh I’m sure everything’s fine’ because NO it’s NOT FINE and Swerve is MISSING or WORSE! Turns out everything is fine and nobody was worried because while they didn’t know where he was right then they had seen him and he was doing ok.
Red Alert makes Swerve promise to give him notice if he plans on NOT messing with the room, and Swerve is honestly flattered Red Alert cared that much.
Screw it. Here are some Security Spritzer (SwerveAlert) headcanons and also some that I have for them separately. But even the separate ones came from thinking about them together.
In their somewhat short time as roommates, Red Alert ended up getting used to Swerve's antics. He can't say he LIKED them, but he got used to them. So every time he doesn't do anything Swerve needs to let Red know otherwise Red freaks out and hunts him down through the ship.
Swerve does have optics under his visor but he can't see very well so he needs the visor to act as his eyes.
Do share the swervealret
So for the sake of this I’m going with my Headcanon that Red Alert has never actually interfaced with anyone before. He’s been too afraid to get that close to someone for his and their safety. By the time he and Swerve try, they’ve been together a while but aside from deep conversations, hand holding, and some light cuddling they haven’t really been physical with each other.
Even when they eventually do try it for the first time together (well, the first time in general for Red) it takes some coaxing. But Swerve reassures him that since he’s a holoform, if Red seems to be about to hurt him he can just disappear so it’s perfectly safe, and that helps ease his worry enough to go for it.
Except he still kinda doesn’t.
He starts kissing Swerve and while it’s a little awkward at first he gets the hang of it and either way it’s just. Fantastic. Amazing. He’s never done something like that before and he can’t get enough of it. He keeps apologizing and saying he’ll actually get started but he keeps getting distracted by how bad he wants to keep making out with Swerve. Of course Swerve’s not a passive participant and is getting a bit handsy himself, though nothing too major.
It’s still enough for Red to overload hard without his panels ever having opened. And then they need to take a break because Red is so embarrassed while Swerve is dizzy because nobody’s ever kissed him like THAT before and he wants to do it again.
Security spritzer hc pls
How do you think they'd be after they got in a relationship? Like, the long term part
Oooooo this is a good one! Let’s see…
Long-term I think it would be incredibly different than when they first get together. Like, night and day different. They still have their struggles but both have gotten to a much better place. Swerve’s running his bar and while Red still is on call for is Fort Max or anyone else ever needs him, perhaps a bit of a freelance security guard given his particular skillset, I can see him settling down and acting as security for the bar. But overall it’s… good. They have each other to lean on when things get hard. They know how to keep each other from spiraling into old destructive habits. But they’ve come a long way since they being shitty roommates on the Lost Light. Now they’re shitty conjunxes and Swerve is still constantly redecorating and Red Alert checks all new items brought into their hab for hidden devices. What matters is they love each other very much and know things aren’t nearly as bad for them as they were.
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True, about Red Alert not drinking
But he could also make mock Tails or just not make high grade drinks, he could make other drinks for Red Alert. I think he'd just make drinks in general for people XD
But also, maybe Swerve tries to do the drink think to Red but it only makes him paranoid/accuse him of another prank. Which is when he admits it to him that he does this as a sign of affection cuz it's the only thing he's good at (that he believes he is at least), so he does this to keep people he likes around.
And yeah, Red being very touched about it fjsjajja
Just rambling ideas at this point, don't mind me XD
Lmao it’s alright. Funny enough I love calling Swerve x Red Alert by the name ‘Security Spritzer’ because it sounds like a fun name that Swerve would call a drink themed after Red Alert. It’s a pretty simple drink and really not hard to make without alcohol so if he were to drink it would probably be something like that.
New Little Talks chapter! And with a new rating! It’s probably just gonna be this chapter but honestly the idea was just too good for me to pass up.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/64206235/chapters/164778355
Am I insane? Maybe a little. Anyways! Little Talks Ch 5, can I get a Hell Yeah?