#secretflog

i feel like i am stuck between two worlds

i feel like i am being torn in half

my heart wants both

i don’t know how to make that work 

i don’t know where i really belong

there both apart of my world

i feel like i need both of them 

because they both need me

but where to begin 

being sick is killing me

it keeps making me have all these feelings

its bringing back all those bad thoughts

its making me not me

i want to be healthy again

i want to be me again 

i want all the thoughts to be gone

i need peace

so i am going to do somethings i hate doing

i am going to bring my self to admit it

being sick is not something i can do anymore

I'm going back to that dark place, a place I was hoping I was done with,

My mind won't leave me alone, it keeps showing me all the bad things that have happened or could happen

Darkness surrounds me, and I'm starting to drown in it.

I'm hoping a new day will bring light around,

your words bring me closer to you

but my actions keep pushing you away, 

you say something 

but i think the opposite   

i constantly push you way 

but you keep me at your side. 

you show me what true love is

you show me how to really live

i never thought that i could love someone the way i love you

but you have opened my eyes to what true love is

i never want to lose you 

i never want to go a day without you

i never want to see a world with out you

i never want a loveless life 

you are my world now

and i know i am your

that’s why i want to tell you

I fell for you fast. 

there was nothing to stop me. 

i left my heart open to you from the beginning

i knew what i was looking for.

when you showed up something told me you were the one. 

i left myself open to you completely

but i left it a secret 

i didn't want you to know 

then you fell hard and fast for me

and i felt safe

Then you asked me out,

and my heart was pounding out of my chest

when you asked

all i could think was yes

but there was a part of me that wanted to say no.

i went with my heart and i said yes. 

i have never been so happy 

i have never been so petrified

you really are the best thing to happen to me

you have showed me the best of life.

i know i have only known you a short while

i know i don’t want a life with out you 

i know i want to be with you forever

i know i need you by my side

i know i want all your love

He broke me, He cut me right in two,

Now a part loves him, And a part hates him.

I need a break, A break from all these thoughts

My thoughts have thoughts, and I can’t keep them straight

You let me love a side of you but not the whole you, You wanted me all for yourself but never the other way around

Your world is so huge,And my world is so small I just get lost in the though of it all.

Having known you would have been the greatest, Had it not have been for the fall

Your words cut me deep, Deeper then they should have,

You thought I would leave, Over something so stupid.

You wanted to push me away, You didn’t want to feel

So now I’m gone Not going to come back.

And I hope you are happy, Because I’m completely miserable.