#secretadventure

Join me for storytime, SASholes. I’m Bren, resident SAStorian and the most unreliable of narrators. Welcome to Episode 43: Keggin And Company.

Clout Scouts

The Nobodies wake up the next morning to Pongu making more wankcakes, and talk over breakfast about going ahead and making the half-day’s journey to Bludsand. With this destination in mind, they discuss their shopping list: healing potions, components to make bullets for Pearce, and new knives for Pongu. Kess ponders for a moment, then realizes that one of her brothers might be able to supply them with some potions that he’s made personally, saving them some gold. She asks Pongu to message Rook in order to make the request, and he does– only having to wait a few moments before the alchemist responds through the fairy’s open mouth, agreeing to outfit the party with as many concoctions as he could spare.

With one item taken care of, Kess breathes a sigh of relief for their collective pocketbooks. She also tells Pongu they may be able to procure him some knives on their detour to Mardosta, to which he is amenable. He hands each member of the group a scone of greater healing, and Pearce scarfs his down while telling his friends that he would be more than happy to get his five-finger-discount should they let him shop for the potions instead. He is largely ignored as Kess reveals she may have an alternative to flying for the next time they travel. As it stands now, however, the druid transforms into her eagle form and takes the gang the rest of the way to Bludsand.

The party flies into a huge city alive with beautiful structures and sprawling beaches. Pongu looks out toward the ocean and recognizes The Sea Leaf, a boat that he had seen before on his oceanic travels. Kess decides to land the group smack dab in the middle of a crowded area, and she makes a show of transforming into her high elf form. As if this doesn’t draw enough attention, Pearce turns to nearby onlookers and announces that Pongu is the Prince of Pieces of Bread. The gunslinger whispers to Pongu to introduce Kess as some sort of queen in order to continue to level up their Cool Factor, but Pongu reminds him that she had already solidified her badassery with shapeshifting so she’s the coolest one already.

The Alest Ale That Ever Was

Once the hubbub around their arrival calms down, the Nobodies set themselves a limit of five hours in the city for their shopping needs. As they look around at the various shops and stands, Pearce tells Kü not to make any trouble, to which the kobold replies ‘no promises’ while running off toward the nearest food cart. Kess considers a trip to a bathhouse and gets excited about the prospect of cleaning up and relaxing for the first time in a long time. She brings this up to the group, and they decide it would be a good idea to look presentable while shopping in this relatively nice city. The changeling seeks out a sign that marks all of the pertinent spots in the market, and after finding out the direction of the spa– the four adventurers start walking that way.

Pearce spies a stand selling ale, and as he draws closer, the gunslinger notices it is actually the alcohol that Xefi, their old benefactor, produces. He stops, striking up a conversation with the proprietor, Jerreth. Pearce asks if he’s heard from Xefi at all, and Jerreth says he has, but not recently. The seller goes on to say that the people of Bludsand are somewhat thrilled that Evercrest has gone mostly silent, as there’s a bit of competition between the two. The gang shudders at what they know is keeping Evercrest at bay– but Pearce shifts gears by offering Jerreth 20 gold for half a keg of ale so that they can pregame for their spa trip.

After this transaction, Jerreth asks the Nobodies if they’re from Evercrest themselves, but Pongu tells him they hail from Breadlandia– specifically the city of Panera. Not knowing any better, the merchant accepts this, and laughs with the group at the audacity of King Elemend changing the name of Panamere to the more edgy Bludsand– drawing inspiration from the signature crimson beaches of the city. In parting, Pearce asks Jerreth to tell Xefi hi if he talks to her– confirming that his supplier is indeed alive and that they’ve worked for her. Jerreth immediately perks up, relieved that there may be more Alemason Ale for him to peddle. He thanks the group as they move on, keg in tow.

Bring the Keggin

The party finds themselves standing in front of The Pampered Feather, a tall and dignified building. Pearce looks down at the keg that he’s been dragging along behind him, then shifts his attention to Pongu. He asks the fairy if he has any wigs on hand, and Pongu readily supplies him with a long red number that the gunslinger pulls over the top of the wooden lid of the keg. Pearce dubs his Frankenstein creation Keggin, and drags it into the spa. The proprietor takes one look at Keggin and tells Pearce that outside kegs are not welcome in the bathhouse. Incensed, the gunslinger refuses to leave his ‘son’, saying they aren’t able to be separated.

Pongu discreetly casts Minor Illusion, making Keggin appear to a couple leaving the spa as a small redheaded child. He greets the duo, and the elven woman they had been speaking to heaves a huge sigh, allowing the five of them entrance. As Kess makes her way past the staff member, she slips her 10 gold and confides that it’s better that the interaction went this way. They are then led into individual changing rooms that are right outside of the expansive spa area. Pearce slides Keggin into the communal bath while he heads to disrobe. He comes back out in just his hat, and takes a spot near his keg-shaped child. Not long after, Kess dramatically joins him– opting for a cannonball approach to the same bath, but she dives in completely nude.

Kü, however, chooses a neighboring mud bath to crawl into. As he sinks into the warm sludge, Pongu slides in as well. The fairy shapes the steam around them into the shape of tiny soldiers, making them fight above their heads. Kess calls over one of the assorted staff hovering around the space and orders a meat feast for Kü. As she and Pearce watch the kobold happily dig into the protein platter, the gunslinger poses a serious question to Kess. He wonders if they should stop trying to save the world. He tells her that he doesn’t want to sacrifice her or the rest of the party in order to prevent destruction that may just be inevitable. Kess agrees, but argues that they’re too far in to stop. They either have to choose to run until it catches up with them, or they fight.

Too Much, Too Big

The gang, getting progressively more toasted as they drink from Keggin’s sKüll, start to fall into that emotional state of inebriation. Pongu uses Sending to drunk-message Nix, apologizing for his late response, but telling the tiefling that he’s thinking about him. He tacks on that he supposes he’s thinking of Nileena too, but only inasmuch as he wants to know why she ignored his cry for help during the dragon duel. Nix replies and says he’s been thinking about Pongu as well, and as for Nileena– the human seems to be in one of her ‘states’ where she is effectively lost to time. This response drives the fairy to tears, but he attempts to shrug it off and leaves the mud bath for the communal pool. He asks Kess how the water is, and Pearce invites him in to test it for himself.

As Pongu places a mud-caked foot into the bath, he sees the grime disappear without polluting the pristine water. It’s then that the fairy takes a look around and realizes just how many enchantments must be keeping the spa clean, warm, and inviting. Once Pongu has submerged himself in the water, Pearce asks him about Nix. Pongu explains that he was his mentor’s assistant, but doesn’t say much else. Sensing how sad his friend is, Pearce asks the fairy what he needs. He tearfully tells the gunslinger to steal him some knives, to which Pearce agrees. He also reassures Pongu that everyone who meets him loves him, and he’s sure that Nix does too. This causes a strange reaction in Pongu, who says he’s not sure how he feels about the tiefling. Pongu divulges that he has so much love for everyone that it’s difficult to sort them from romantically to platonically and whatever is in between.

This conversation leads into the party complimenting each other just like that drunk girl you meet in the bathroom of your favorite bar. Kü eventually joins them in the bath as well, and after a bit, Kess suggests they all go shopping while they’re still tipsy. They go to their changing rooms and grab the supplied robes and flippy floppies, but as they start to make their way toward the door, a staff member alerts them to the fact that they will not be able to re-enter once they leave. He also helpfully reminds them that the Pampered Feather is still cleaning their clothes for them, and offers to bring the group toast and coffee to help them sober up instead. The gang agrees to these terms– and each make their own journey through the effects of the alcohol. Kess settles into a massage and throws up during it, bringing her back to her sound mind quite quickly. Pearce makes it through quickly with caffeine and a higher tolerance. Pongu, however, laments that everyone always leaves him– and somehow all the crying keeps him from coming fully to his senses.

Retail Therapy

Heading back out into the city, the Nobodies first go to a blacksmith so Pearce can buy components to craft ammo. He also asks the proprietor for an attachment that would make it possible for him to fire more bullets at once without having to reload. The man tells him that he will need to go to someone else for what he wants– so he goes into the back of the shop and reappears with a halfling named Grimswald. The blacksmith tells them to follow the halfling, and thanks them for their patronage. Grimswald leads the party through a few alleys, then stops in front of a sewer grate. They all lower themselves down and after a short walk, wind up standing in front of an aarakocra. He introduces himself as Jakyla, and asks what has brought them to his underground shop.

Pearce steps forward and details his ideas for Iris, and Jakyla says he may be able to make the gun store three shots at once, as well as doing a bit of magical damage for 500 gold. He goes on to offer him modified pistol bullets that would do extra elemental damage for a little bit cheaper. After a bit of deliberation, Pearce decides to do the expensive mechanical upgrade– then out of excitement, the aarakocra begins to offer them other random magic items he has procured to see if he can squeeze any more gold out of the foursome. Pongu shows interest in Jakyla’s book of spells, and the aarakocra reads out some pages that the fairy could copy down and use for himself. Pongu picks out three spells, but talks Jakyla into throwing in a fourth for free. He winds up with See Invisibility, Mass Suggestion, Hold Monster, and Chain Lightning. Pearce adds on acid damage rounds and one of the aarakocra’s pistols. Kü picks out a Ring of Spell Storing. Kess decides on a Prism of Spell Splitting, Sweet Accident Bears (gummy bears that make your foe feel as though they’ve shit themselves), and purple salt imbued with Zone of Truth.

When all is said and done, the group spends most of their savings. Jakyla also asks to keep Iris overnight to work on the upgrade, and after tearfully setting the gun gently down on the aarakocra’s workbench, the group takes some time for Pongu to etch his new spells onto his skin with his mage hand as Kü watches on, and Pearce and Kess head back to the blacksmith to buy more bullet ingredients. Kess also picks up a broken sword from the same spot. They then go have dinner and wander around the blood red sands until about 11:00, when Pongu and Kü finally emerge from the sewers. Kess looks at the party with a shine in her eye, and tells them that she has a plan regarding their lodgings for the night. She flies them over to a nearby forest and casts Transport Via Plant on a tree– creating a portal that opens up to a tree in her greenhouse inn Mardosta. When they enter, they see Kess’ mom and dad there looking at the flowers. They’re startled of course, but happy to see the group alive and well. Thus, our heroes spend the night on freshly made beds in the only place that has felt like home to them.

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TL;DR

This episode reminded me why I don’t get super drunk often. I turn into Pongu-levels of depressed!

I’m not going to lie, Bludsand seems fucking BALLER. Better than the Pink Sands of the Bahamas.

I sure hope the Nobodies figure out a way to get some more gold…

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Don’t forget to use SASDND for 10% off your Session Zero order! Gear up and watch the new episode at twitch.tv/lochness on March 23rd at 7:30CST/8:30EST! And if you’d like to watch THIS episode, you can find it at the link below:

I hope you’ve brought your towel, SASholes. I’m Bren, resident SAStorian and the answer to life, the universe, and everything. Welcome to Episode 42: Heroes’ Breakfast.

The Right Thing

The Nobodies awaken to smoke and the sound of villagers assessing the damage of the town. Pongu is the first to awaken; rising early to cook breakfast for the party. Forgetting which meal Pearce requested, the fairy makes both pancakes AND waffles– then tries to force some on Kess… who didn’t sleep at all post-Ashe-disappearing. Pearce and Kü, however, slept like the dead they almost were the previous day. When Kü finally wakes up, he attempts to contact Nice Bug, still getting nothing back. The group tucks in to breakfast, mindlessly making conversation about opening a bakery called ‘the Wankhouse’ where they would serve a hybrid made up of waffle and pancake features.

As they realize this dream could only exist in a reality where they have successfully saved the world as they know it, their attention turns once again to the city below. Kü worries about everyone in the town going through withdrawals– and as he speaks, Pearce spies some desperate shapes collecting the standing water from the demolished factory and deduces that they won’t have to worry about that for the moment. Thinking of the comfort these drug-addled people must feel as they pull the last dregs of Tear from the rubble, the gunslinger shares with the group the memory of his mom that popped up when he was dying. In the midst of the cinnamon-scented glow, Pearce couldn’t help but think there was something missing from the peaceful scene with his mother.

Pongu, thinking of death himself now, realizes that he never heard back from Nileena regarding his SOS during the dragon battle. The continued harried conversation between the Nobodies keeps him from dwelling on this too long, however, as the group begins to discuss the possibility of Sienna AND Pearce’s mom being in Nevyra. Kess drags out a map and they all toss in their ideas of what place they should journey to next. They eye the capital, Bludsand, as a possible pit stop for a shopping trip. This leads them into a tallying up of gold and resources, but even this is interrupted by a new thought. Pearce asks if they should send word to Mardosta about the dragon now headed their way.

Don’t Panic, But Prepare

Pongu offers to use Sending to toss a lengthier message Norse’s way. Kess relays all the pertinent information to the fairy, tossing in advice to not trust Iano Furl. Kü yells an ‘I love you’ to the Shadowmore family as Pongu’s eyes go yellow and his mouth drops as he mimics the changeling’s words to her mother. Once he’s done, Pearce inquires about Pongu’s new powers, namely their origin. The fairy tells them vaguely about Nileena and his sacrifices to have new ways to help both the group and the rest of the world; one being the loss of his iris. Hearing this, Pearce picks up his gun and holds it tight to his chest. Pongu then tries to go into detail about the cottage in Mardosta– but is cut off by a voice that isn’t his own invading his mouth.

Norse’s stern tone travels past Pongu’s lips, asking Kess what she’s done, then moves past her fear and anger to assure the group that she will warn whoever needs to be warned; finally thanking them before the transmission ends. They all turn to Kess, and Kü quietly asks if she thinks Norse is mad– anxiety moving through him from his PTSD with his own mother. The changeling chalks it up to fright as she notices Pongu deep in thought. He tells the party that he just remembered that the Fallen God Sea was where his people were headed to protect the embers from those who might abuse it; then wonders if he should check in with the envoy that visited him at the Shadowmore estate. They table this knowledge for later use and consider their options moving forward.

The Nobodies decide not to go back into Rinmore at all so they won’t have to face the carnage that they created. Kess suggests they go ahead and make their way to Nevyra, possibly making a detour to Mardosta on the way– allowing them to check in on the possible dragon situation as well as giving Kü a chance to try his hand at facing Dickius Muscular again. They weigh this with either checking in on Augustus at the Order of Brambles and defeating Scott along the way, or going to the temple of Selune where Jendee spirited Dorf away to. Ultimately, they make up their minds to do their shopping first; in the very likely case anything goes awry on the way… until Kess remembers the X on the map for their next Scott Side Quest that is very close to Rinmore. This deviation may give them more money for supplies– and so their mission icon is updated.

Scott’s Scratch

Kess enters her giant eagle form and flies the group to the spot marked on the map, with Pearce guiding her for a little extra help. They wind up in a smattering of dead trees tucked away in rocky terrain. Dust fills the air, and for the first time since leaving Mardosta, Pearce pulls his mask over his nose and mouth to protect himself from the potential inhalant harm. As Kess pops back into her changeling form, she casts Detect Magic and walks around a bit– trying to suss out the treasure spot. She finds refuse surrounding a large boulder that glows faintly of divination magic. Kess then uses Dispel Magic– making the faux face of the craggy surface disappear, showing a descent into a cavern below. As she draws closer, she also notices a rune on the side of the boulder that she does not recognize.

The druid brings Pongu over to investigate the chipped and broken sigil, and he recognizes it as a disabled trap that was no doubt meant to ward off passerby such as themselves. The fairy tries to figure out how long it’s been since someone has been there, but only comes away with what seems to be faded animal markings. The Nobodies make a move to enter the cave mouth, and Pongu gives Pearce the Gift of Alacrity. Gold shimmers off of the gunslinger, and he feels a boost to his fighting spirit. As this happens, Kess occupies herself with looking for hidden doors or the carved name they had found at every Scott Spot previously. Instead, she finds a discolored branch on a nearby tree that she deduces must be some sort of lever.

Kess gets permission from Pearce and Kü for her to test out pulling the branch, as they had already entered the cavern. Pongu stays outside to monitor Kess in case anything goes wrong, but when the changeling climbs the tree and jumps onto the ersatz limb– the stone wall that she had previously dispelled falls back into place, closing off the hidden space two of their party have just entered. In a panic, Kess yanks on the bar once more, and the cave reveals itself again. With this mystery solved, Kess and Pongu join the others in climbing down little notches dug into the rocky wall to act as a makeshift ladder. Once they are all safe on the lower level, the Nobodies look around and are astonished to find an empty room with coins littering the floor haphazardly.

The Doorknobs We Made Along the Way

Kess once again casts Detect Magic– only finding a glimmer of conjuration magic in the corner of the room. As she makes her way to the spot, she is taken aback by how someone had clearly already ransacked the place. The one thing they seemed to have left behind, not including the meager pocket change, is a bit of metal that Kess picks up; finding it to be a doorknob. She inspects it curiously as Kü casts mage hand to gather up the coins– finding about 153 gold, 30 silver, and 18 platinum. It is not the riches they were searching for, and after touching all the walls for hidden buttons, Kess finally gives up and takes the other doorknob she recovered from Scott’s hiding places out of her bag– clinking the two hardwares together.

This of course does nothing, but it does spark an idea within the druid. She calls Pongu over and asks him to identify their undefined items. He agrees, and Pearce recruits Kü to go outside the cave in order to keep watch while this endeavor takes place. Unbeknownst to Kü, it is not only for their group’s protection, but also to save the kobold from the trauma of seeing the singing fish again. The doorknob turns out to be a magic item that can be used once per day to open up a doorway to go somewhere that the user has been before– and if it’s paired with another such doorknob, they can leave one in a chosen location and will be able to open up a doorway to that space. The singing fish are a cleverly disguised alarm spell; placing two at opposite ends of an area will create a line that when crossed will prompt the mechanical creatures into song.

The Nobodies rejoin; Kess and Pongu relaying the information they gleaned to the returning Kü and Pearce. Before they move on, Kess decides to turn into an earth elemental so that she can explore the inside of the cave’s walls to ensure there’s no treasure elsewhere. Pongu casts Telepathic Bond so that the rest of the party can communicate with Kess as she’s transformed. Unfortunately, the Kessemental search comes up empty, and she pops back into her changeling form. She tells the group that she will be able to fly them to their next destination, Bludsand, in about an hour. Pearce attempts to pass the time by asking how she feels when she morphs into an elemental being. This line of questioning dies quickly, however, as Kü begins to wonder how much he and Skugamor have to do with the Emerald Flame coming out of dormancy. Kess, tired and disappointed, has a mental breakdown over the amount of change she’s had in a year. Pongu zones out, head full of worry about the feywild, until he sees a mushroom sprouting from a nearby fallen log.

Left On Read

Once over their collective existential dread, Kess morphs into her eagle wild shape and starts the journey to Bludsand. As they camp after a long day of travel– Kess grows a flower, and it wilts in front of her. She tries again the next morning, and the act summons RavenAshe. The changeling is disappointed that he isn’t in his human form, and Pongu attempts a telepathic bond on the party so that they may understand the bird. It is unsuccessful, so they agree on the same terms as last time. They will ask RavenAshe yes or no questions, and he will peck out his answers; one tap for yes, two for no.

Pearce asks if Ashe touches the other two embers if the calamity will stop and the world will be saved. The raven pecks twice. He then asks if they defeat the Emerald Flame, will Ashe himself be destroyed. The bird gives them a third tap in return, signaling to the party that he has no idea. Kess asks instead if he will once again go dormant, and to this RavenAshe answers in the affirmative. Pearce continues his seemingly unending line of questioning, his energy turning frantic as he does so. He asks the bird if it’s all just a cycle, to which Ashe agrees. The gunslinger loses his temper, shouting that everything will just happen all over again, and that there’s no way they can save the world. While his tantrum rages on, Pongu asks if RavenAshe knows where the dragon that they fought went, and he says no.

Kess, quiet after Pearce’s last question, adds onto it. She asks Ashe if they can fix the world for the moment, and his answer is inconclusive. Pongu resumes, wondering if his people are in immediate danger, and the titan does not know. Kess pulls out her map and urges Ashe to tell them the best place for the party to go next. The raven pecks on all of the places he mentioned before, in Pongu’s Tiny Hut. The fairy then ponders if there are any other titans like Ashe that are on their side, and the raven cannot be certain. He does, however, tell them– as Kess inquires– that if there were… they would not be able to be found. The party then brainstorms things they can use to understand Ashe better, and as their attention shifts to each other, the raven vanishes. At this, Pongu splits from the group to send a message to Nix, asking if he and the fairy’s mentor are okay, and making sure that they know he almost died. The tiefling answers back almost immediately, asking if he himself is okay, but Pongu leaves the correspondence at that as he joins back up with the party. They settle down for the night in a comfortable cuddle puddle, a short fly away from their next destination.

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TL;DR

Who do we think beat The Nobodies to the treasure hoard!? Please let me know your theories!

I’m so glad we’re getting some change of scenery. Rinmore was REALLY bleak.

Hey, hang on! Did Pongu and Nix have a THING?!

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I have heard whisperings that a new partnership is brewing between SAS and Session Zero Clothing! Stay tuned for more information coming with the new episode at twitch.tv/lochness on March 9th at 7:30CST/8:30EST! And if you’d like to watch THIS episode, you can find it at the link below:

Happy Valentine’s Day, SASholes! I’m Bren, resident SAStorian and the human embodiment of this cast’s love for you. Welcome to Episode 41: Silver Linings.

Ooze, Ooze, Baby

We find the party right where we left them; staring dazed at the ceiling of this fantasy elevator as a large blob of blackish, liquidish stuff makes its entrance into the conveyor. It’s about the size of a volleyball and making the sort of sound macaroni does as you stir it. Iykyk. Using her quick reflexes, Kess casts Frostbite, attempting to pierce the creature with cold. The blob recoils, but then pulses– letting the group know it’s less hurt and more pissed off. More suction sounds fill the chamber as two more oozes enter the fight.

Seeing this, Pongu protects himself with mage armor and telekinetically tries to shove one of the oozes up and away from Kess. It hits the side of the lift and smacks like a fifty cent sticky hand, then rolls slowly back down to the floor. Pearce starts looking for the mechanisms making the fantasy elevator descend; making eyes with a pulley that seems to be holding it up. The gunslinger readies Iris and pulls the trigger– effectively deafening the rest of the party with the report and shattering the chains keeping them aloft. The compartment falls… and falls… and falls… until finally crashing to the ground, bonking everyone’s melons and causing them to fall prone.

However, it seems as though they have bought themselves some time to escape from the oozes. They look up and the creatures are no longer there; but when they listen closely, the gross sounds of the blobs’ movement persist as they crawl toward the party. The Nobodies are effectively trapped in this unmoving box; the only way out being a mangled gate that lies in front of them that appears to lead to a cavernous expanse. So, Kü summons his hammer and tries to burst through the gate with added help from his booming blade damage– and the gate flies off and hits the other side of the room. Kess, in a moment of genius, uses her powers to mold earth to seal off the top of the elevator shaft so that the oozes are no longer a concern.

My Ears, My Back, My Kessy and My Crack

As they are out of danger, the Nobodies take a second to breathe and assess their injuries. Pearce continues to lay on the floor holding Iris; worried to move. Pongu groans in pain near him– lamenting the fact that they even attempted to fight the creatures before learning more about them and whether they meant any harm. The comment falls on mostly deaf ears (literally) as Kess and Kü attempt to pop the eardrums that Pearce so handily shattered. The gunslinger slowly sits up, winces at his spine realigning, and pops open a healing potion to chug. Following Pearce’s lead, Kess scarfs down a scone of greater healing.

Once they have all recovered as much as possible, they turn their attention to their new surroundings. It’s hot and humid as fuck, and the corridor in front of them veers to the left– making sightlines shit and planning even shittier. Pearce volunteers to lead an excursion to scout the way ahead, and Kü offers to go with him. Kess, however, suggests that they all just go ahead and make that way; the only reason for them having split up before was because of the two possible paths. So, they begin their trek, Pongu going into his small fairy form and flying close to Kü’s ear. Kess notices and uses Guidance to help him as he sneaks along. As they stride forward, the Nobodies start to sweat– well, aside from Kü, who pants. Not from nerves or anything, but the sheer Miami heat (look, a sports joke!) coming from the cavern.

As the party rounds the corner, their eyes adjust to see emerald light surrounding burning embers… but also trees, vines, and flowers– all things that are not typically found in places without sunlight. Kess wonders aloud if it is evidence of Ashe trying to escape the cave. She and the rest of the group attempt to scour the flora and fauna to see if they recognize it, but it is unlike anything they’ve ever seen before. As such, they turn their attention to the rocks surrounding the base of the embers. They seem to have been disturned recently, so Kess touches them, finding them to be warm from the proximity to the embers. She casts Detect Magic, seeing that the whole room lights up. The embers glow even brighter with some sort of divine magic and the forest-y bits shine faintly with abjuration.

Survival Mode

Suddenly, a crashing sound comes from above the Nobodies. Kess panics and attempts to grow a flower in order to talk to Ashe; but as she does, a growling voice rings out and echoes through the cave. It tells her that she smells like Mardosta, an old friend, and the Void. It asks what they’re doing in its home but before anyone can really answer, the smell of death and decay fills their nostrils and a rotting but somehow still alive dragon places itself between the party and the embers. On instinct, Pongu tries to talk to it, wanting to gauge whether or not it is hostile. The dragon looms dangerously and does not answer, so the fairy attempts to restrain it, but the creature breaks through.

The room fills with even more heat as the dragon stares into the souls of the party, frightening Kü and Pongu. It goes in to bite the fairy and then claws at Kü twice. After he succeeds in dealing damage, the dragon smiles at the bloodied party and flies upwards. Pearce draws Iris and makes a move to retaliate, but the shot misses. So, Kü summons his hammer once more and bonks their foe just as it raises itself out of range and perches on a ledge away from the party. Kess takes this opportunity to attempt to dispel magic on the embers but it has no effect, so she begins stepping closer to them. Pearce reloads and lets loose another shot that goes just wide.

Kü, however, enters survival mode. He tries to find the exit points in the chamber but only sees the entrance that they came from. The kobold does, however, see a few hiding spots in the rocky surface of the wall. He begins to cast a healing spell for himself but catches the dragon above him in the corner of his eye and instinctively sends a guiding bolt its way– but the blast hits the rock wall instead. Kü takes off running after the failed spell and makes it to one of the hidey-holes– but makes sure to keep a close eye on the party. He sends Nice Bug out towards the dragon, willing him to find the dragon’s nostrils and crawl inside. Pongu races to the stone wall as well and hides; sending a message to Nileena to tell her there’s a dragon in Rinmore, that he thinks he may die, and to send help. As if on cue (and Kü, really), the dragon blows out a gaseous breath and knocks out both Pongu and the kobold.

Don’t Fear The Reaper

Kess immediately runs to Kü and pours a healing potion in his mouth, which stabilizes him. She then casts Healing Word on Pongu, effectively waking him back up as well. As they’re being taken care of, Pearce uses his Second Wind to give himself a bit more health– but not before once again missing the dragon with a bullet from Iris. Kü sits up and drinks his own healing potion and then goes to help Pongu with his wounds. Once the fairy is on his feet again, he attempts to subdue the dragon, but the creature breaks free of it with a legendary action and uses the rage of almost being captured to bite at Kess and slash at Pearce. So kind of him to spread the love. Or pain. I don’t kink shame.

Our druid gets an idea, grabbing her void water and holding it aloft. Kess walks around the dragon and captures its attention, turning it away from the party as it notices the substance and growls. It flaps its wings menacingly as Pearce FINALLY hits it, but the behemoth laughs at the poke in its side. Kü uses Command and tells the dragon to Submit– but it shakes it off with another use of its resistances. Kess finally lets her void water strike out, but it doesn’t make contact. Kü and Pongu snap out of their frightened state, so Kü steps toward the dragon, grabs three rocks, casts Magic Stone on them, then hides again. The dragon whips out its tail to smack Pearce as Pongu takes out his cooking knives and animates them– making them fly toward the dragon with the only goal of clipping its wings. Only some of the weapons hit, pissing off their foe, who then breathes another poisonous cloud at the party.

Kü, Pongu, AND Pearce all go down. In a panic, Kess grows a flower and a humanoid Ashe minus his previous burns appears. He asks what she’s gotten herself into and she yells incoherently for help while she heals Kü. Pearce makes his first death saving throw and fails, remembering a moment when he was 8 years old and in the kitchen with his mom… searching for any sign of his father outside. Ashe puts his hand in the embers and as he does, a black flame shoots up and explodes, causing the dragon to take cover within the vines of the cave. Kess attempts to do an opportunity attack but misses; so she leans on her weapon instead to look cool in front of her Magic Daddy. Kü thinks back to Pearce’s words to him about keeping Kess alive and he uses his very last spell to heal the druid. Pongu makes his first death save and remembers training in the feywild– seeing a burning house with dead, dismembered vampires and telling their young offspring he would take care of them.

Please Sir, May I Have Some Lore

In the midst of the chaos, Kess gives Kü a pat for his help and runs off to heal Pearce. The gunslinger awakens with the smell of cinnamon in his nose– the only reminder from his death-hazed memory. He rolls over to see Ashe with his hand still in the embers getting progressively more burnt by the minute. Pearce props himself up on Iris and asks Kess what they need to do now, and she tells him to run… so he does. As Pearce takes off, Kü catches sight of him and winces– very upset to have had to make a choice between his friends. He shakes it off in order to cast Spare the Dying on Pongu, who is not out of the woods yet, but is no longer on death’s door. The kobold then thinks ‘Burrow’ toward Nice Bug, willing the creature to tear the dragon apart from the inside out. The flame from Ashe starts eating away at the rock of the cave system and drops lava to the ground– and as the ceiling melts, the lake from above comes rushing down.

Kess looks Ashe’s way and he nods at her, and the changeling takes this sign to make a break for it. She turns Pearce into a giant eagle and tells him to grab Pongu, and she scoops up Kü and jumps on EaglePearce’s back. They find an opening to fly out of the cave, into the factory, and out of the roof of the building as the entire thing collapses to the ground and makes a crater that cracks through Rinmore. Pearce lands at a rocky bluff that overlooks the city, and Kess drops the eagle form for him, then takes the time to heal the party. Pongu makes their Tiny Hut so that they can recuperate, and Pearce and Kess embrace while she sends more healing magic his way. Then, Pearce grabs Kü into a hug and enthusiastically asks Pongu if they can have waffles in the morning. The fairy agrees to the meal, then listens to Kess detail what he missed in the fight while he was unconscious. As they all look back over toward Rinmore, the black flame disappears. Pearce calls Kü over and tells him to ‘always choose Kess’ before he drifts off into a ‘dirt nap’, and Kü attempts to make contact with Nice Bug to no avail before he falls asleep as well.

They all take a long rest except for Kess, who tries to sneak away from the party. Pongu hears her and makes sure she’s okay before rolling back over into sleep. The changeling makes her way over into the rubble of the town to check on Ashe; finding him lying next to the still-smoldering embers with his arm resting on top of them. She looks around for treasure, but finding none, goes back to Ashe– seeing at once that he is unburned besides the arm he used in the embers. He wakes up and greets Kess, offering to explain everything to the party if Kess will fly him to them. She does so, and they awaken the party. Pongu allows Ashe into the Tiny Hut, and he tells them about the Emerald Flame. She was once a mortal woman who was hungry for power, and as such ascended to godhood. She ruled for centuries, and in the wake of her destruction, Ashe was born. The Emerald Flame was defeated thrice, and she left behind embers each time; all similar to the ones they just encountered in Rinmore, before she was finally defeated over the Fallen God Sea. Ashe says he has to make contact with all of the embers at all of the sites because she is in the process of returning, and that’s why he reawakened. One exists in Nevyra and the other in the sea. He tells the party she met her end because she made void magic, and tells Kü that Skugamor was the ‘trusted hand of the flame’. They resolve to ask him more questions in the morning, and they let him nod off. As he does, however, he disappears.

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TL;DR

I can’t believe the Nobodies made it out of an actual dungeon with an actual dragon ALIVE. I mean, barely, but STILL!

Whoever holds the last dregs of Tear is gonna be a MILLIONAIRE.

ASHE WHERE DID YOU GO?!

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Well, this has been quintessential DnD, you’ve seen the dragons AND the dungeons… so what’s next?? Find out with the new episode at twitch.tv/lochness on February 16th at 7:30CST/8:30EST! And if you’d like to watch THIS episode, you can find it at the link below:

Happy Belated New Year, SASholes! I’m Bren, resident SAStorian and the ghost of your already failed resolution. Welcome to Episode 40: Closer to the Fire.

Four Cockroaches and a Fairy

Last we left off, the Nobodies were being sung sweetly to their doom by a drug-addicted busker.. and before they move on to the factory, a commotion sounds from behind them. They turn to see Pongu– their a-week-gone fairy friend– who has just bamfed into existence. Unfortunately for him, it wound up being in the exact same space as a musician. He ruined her song AND broke a string on her lute, so Kess scribbles a quick note to come back when they’re less busy with espionage to right the wrong.

The group is ecstatic to see Pongu– Kü even making a comment that he just realized they were doing stupid things because he wasn’t there to stop them– and they catch him up on the adventure so far. They notice that Pongu is dressed in new regalia and outfitted with a slightly updated staff– but the remaining Nobodies choose to table the discussion of where the fairy has been. Instead, Kess tells the group that she thinks something is trapped under the emerald flames, and that perhaps it’s a prison of some sort for Ashe.

They realize that the distraction Pongu caused would have been a perfect time to enter the factory, but their plan needs a rework anyway now that their fourth member has returned. A discussion of the previous plot weaves itself into Kess transforming into a cockroach, polymorphing Kü and Pearce into one as well, and Pongu using his tiny fairy form to fly alongside them. The party begins their journey– only being noticed by high-as-fuck performers on the street. As they fly along, Pongu reminisces…

Time After Time

Pongu’s mind travels back to the cottage in Mardosta that his deity led him to and his experiences therein. As he approached the door, he heard soft sounds of sweeping coming from inside– but when he rapped on the wood– the house fell silent. He pressed his ear to the door and after a moment, it swung open, forcing the fairy into the chest of a red-skinned tiefling. Pongu righted himself and explained how he came to find the abode. The tiefling listened, only asking a few questions, then seemed to lend an ear to some unseen someone before allowing him inside.

In true Pongu fashion, the fairy offered the tiefling a cookie in return, then stepped over the threshold. What he saw inside would have made an excellent episode of Hoarders: metal knick knacks strewn about, strange writing covering the walls, detailed diagrams of nature pinned to plaster, and a strange tree suspended in midair. As Pongu soaked in these odd sights, a large cockatiel flew down into the branches of the floating fauna and squawked at him. It was then that a female voice swam through the air– commanding the bird to come away from its perch.

A middle-aged human stepped out of the next room, swathed in flowing robes, wearing as many watches as I did in high school, and smelling of teen spirit. She introduced herself as Nylena, and the tiefling as Nix. Nylena went on to talk with Pongu about his purpose and his deity, and after hearing his plight, she took a piece of root from the tree and set it on the ground between them. It withered away before his eyes; and the human explains that she practiced Dunamancy– illegal time magic. She asked if he was at all frightened, and when Pongu expressed his curiosity, she offered to begin teaching him.

Pearcing Damage

As the now even odder pairing makes it to the door of the factory– Kess realizes they made it too late for the shift change of the guards and must instead rely on stealth to make it through. Pongu, snapping out of his reverie, uses his new magic to telepathically bond the four of them. However, only Kess is able to communicate to the fairy; Kü and Pearce have the minds of bugs in their current forms. As such, Kess and Pongu reiterate the plan and go under the door. They make their way without issue… EXCEPT Kü and Pearce being dropped back into their natural forms.

The boys take in their surroundings, eventually seeing two illithids in the enclosed office space. These beings immediately tell them they do not have the clearance to be in the room, so Pearce tries his hand at deception. He tells the two creatures that they’re there to inspect the embers, but the mindflayers are not phased. They start to levitate menacingly, but Pearce waits to see if they attack. Pongu and Kess stay deftly hidden in their smaller forms, also holding their advances, but Kü takes the initiative and lobs a firebolt toward one of the spooky squid people.

As soon as Kü attacks– Kess pops out of her roach form and animates her void water– but its attack misses. Pongu stays small but follows Kü’s lead and firebolts the same creature the kobold hit– then attempts to intimidate the monsters by sweeping their books and ledgers off of the crowded desks occupying the space. Both of the mindflayers retaliate– attempting to cast a powerful mindblast. Only one is successful, however, as Kü counterspells the other. The attack leaves Kü and Pongu damaged and stunned– giving Pearce enough reason to finally shoot– piercing the most injured foe. It starts to cast something, but Kess retries her water assault– this time making contact and effectively taking it out.

And Confetti

With its ally gone, the remaining mindflayer tries to mindblast again, this time to no avail. Pearce attempts to daze the creature before it can do any more magic, but only succeeds in a normal shot. Kü finally snaps out of his stunned state and quickly realizes that he has no other choice than to run toward danger– hammer in hand. As he does, Kess shoots out her void water again and does a ridiculous amount of damage– giving Pongu time to also snap out of his stun. With the whole party intact again, the illithid panics. It begins to try and escape the battle, but Kü once again shuts it down with a counterspell.

Pearce saunters up to the cowardly creature and violently blows its head off– raining carnage down upon the party. They take a second to breathe, eat a new Pongu confection that heals as it is consumed, and then take a sweep around the room. Pearce and Kü ogle the mangled corpses of the creatures that remain a mystery to them as Kess and Pongu loot their surroundings. They both find letters shoved into the respective desks they search, but Pongu also finds research novels about local terrain and wildlife, as well as personnel records of employees at the factory with any debts– including Leery.

They read their letters aloud; Kess’ sounding as though someone wanted to come study the embers but Iano refused due to a lockdown after TuLoc left, and Pongu’s being addressed to a ‘Cylas and Vera’ from The Higher Council of Tharceon– reprimanding the former for using their ‘abilities’ to keep commoners under submission and poverty, and stating that if Cylas and Vera ever step on the continent ‘Erembar’ again, they will be promptly arrested. Tucking this information into their brains and pockets, the party moves on down a set of basement steps and come to a crossroads with a right and left turn. They pull out TuLoc’s map and see that either route will lead them to their destination, so the group decides to send Pongu ahead in his tiny fairy form to scout the best route.

The Elevator Plot

Pearce tells the group to shut up and hones his hearing down both passageways– hearing silence on the left and a sort of dripping sound on the right. Pongu takes it upon himself to choose the left side to explore– eventually running into a stone creature leaning against the wall. The fairy attempts to speak to it, but the being starts to step menacingly toward him. Realizing the danger, Pongu screams and tries to run back to his friends– the foe following close behind. As Kess hears the footsteps coming, she shifts into an earth elemental form and begins to push the creature back. This gives Pongu an opening to create a magical web to restrain it, and when the being breaks free, the fairy then uses his new magic to rewind time and force it back into the trap.

Clocking the dunamancy, Pearce throws a concerned look Pongu’s way before firing off a shot at the stone giant. Kü runs forward and smacks it with a booming hammer strike, Kess body slams it, and it responds with a fireball. This attack hits Pongu full force, but he absorbs the elements in order to soften the blow. Pearce then fires Iris at the hand the magic came from in an attempt to blow it off, and when that doesn’t work, Kü strikes it again with his thunderous hammer. Kess misses her next strike, and in that reprieve, the monster tries to escape– and when Pongu notices, he attempts a counterspell. When it fails– the stone creature vanishes, leaving the party alone once more.

Kess keeps her elemental form as they traverse the rest of the way toward a fantasy elevator– then shifts back once she is certain no other danger lurks outside of it. The group steps in, and Kü immediately gets uncomfortable with the ‘cave-in on purpose’ that is the descending lift. As such, Pearce grabs him in support, and the kobold then grabs Kess as he begins to feel her anxiety heighten in tandem. Her nerves, however, are not conveyor-related. Over the three plus minutes they’re stuck in the lift, she argues with Pearce as he tries to prepare her that what she’s looking for may not be at the end of this journey. She disagrees, telling him it has to be Ashe. Before long, their discussion is broken by an odd sound from above– and a liquid black tendril comes down, reaching toward Kess.

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TL;DR

HOLY COMBAT, BATMAN! Almost three battles in one session?? We’re back, baby!

Pearce describing gore and brain matter as confetti is my actual sexuality.

What do we think about the stream changes?! I think pre-recording added new life to not only the game, but to the ads and breaks! I can’t wait to see how SAS grows this year!

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How have I never made a Pearcing damage joke before? Hopefully I’ll find even more puns in the next episode at twitch.tv/lochness on February 2nd at 7:30CST/8:30EST! And if you’d like to watch THIS episode, you can find it at the link below:

Happy Candlenights, SASholes! I’m Bren, resident SAStorian and your source of all things holly AND jolly. Welcome to Episode 39: Ripples and Waves.

Coming Down

We pick up right where we left off this session, with Pearce leading his spooked coworker out to Kü and Kess. They are a disgusting duo, covered in grime and sweat from the day’s work. Kess and Kü are hesitant, at first thinking that the blonde lady is trailing Pearce menacingly, not knowing that he ordered the woman behind him as a precaution. However, once he introduces her and tells the rest of the party of her plight, they propose taking her to the inn they’re staying at since she is afraid to go home. This is met with some resistance, but with no other option, the woman relents, and the now foursome head to their rooms above the tavern.

The abode is modest in decoration, but homey– and in this safe space the woman, who introduces herself as Leery Copeland, lets the Nobodies in on her tale of woe. She says that when she got to work, she was told her time was up. She assumed this was in reference to the fact that she owes a grand total of 10,000 gold to Talis Rune, who is one of the foremen at the factory, for Tear. Leery goes on to describe Talis, and his blue-skinned and grotesque countenance match up with the man Tibbins saw in the factory office– who, lest we forget, stood motionless for hours. This bodes quite well.

Leery admits that he is probably looking for her as they speak, if he isn’t joined by the other foreman, Proctor. She says that there were three of them, but one, Tuloc– has gone missing. This name brings the Nobodies to attention. He is who Iano sent them to stop. Through this explanation, Leery’s well-being has continued to worsen. She begins to shake and sweat, and Pearce recognizes this affliction from his time with the bounty hunters. She’s going through withdrawal. With this in mind, the gunslinger sends Kü downstairs to acquire food, then heads out himself for water and blankets. When he runs into the bartender, Seylan, Pearce lets him in on their mission and asks him to bring the supplies to their room.

Underground Rehabroad

Instead of heeding Pearce’s request, Seylan clears the bar out and asks them to bring Leery downstairs. Without hesitation, they do so, and introduce the woman to the proprietor. He tells Leery that he wants to help her, and motions for the party to follow him. They file into the kitchen, and as Seylan pushes a tower of crates aside, they watch a trap door come into view. Oddly trusting, they all head down the stairs and find an orc man who seems to be overseeing an underground detox area. They can hear the anguished cries of one other tortured soul going through the same thing as Leery coming from the other side of the room.

The orc introduces himself as Tuloc, surprising our heroes. Kess realizes that Iano sent them there to try and kill Tuloc because he’s helping addicts from the factory get better. She tells Tuloc of the mission they were paid to do, and the orc scoffs. He tells them that they are just the latest in a long line of mercenaries that Iano has sent his way. He instantly distrusts them, but they introduce him to Leery, which softens him a bit. He agrees to meet them the next morning to have an actual conversation, and they leave the space so that he can begin his work.

It’s late as the Nobodies make their way back to their rooms. Pearce, before succumbing to sleep, asks Kess if she would send a message to Orinae Mar– who was the potential employer that knew the gunslinger’s father– so that he can update the man on their whereabouts; hopefully showing Orinae that they are still interested in his mission. Unfortunately, Kess tells him she isn’t able to send one as far as Mardosta from where they are, adding that it may be a bad idea to give away their exact whereabouts. Reluctantly, Pearce agrees, but the fear of losing his chance to confront his father remains.

Flower Power

Once Pearce retires to his own room– advising no one to wake him up before breakfast– Kess grows her nightly flower and meditates on it. Nothing happens, but an idea forms. Kess takes out the popper toy full of drugs and opens it; finding some stones that seem to be housing a bit of moisture, which she drops on her bloom. She rubs it into the petals with her hands, and it causes her fingers to tingle. As she watches, the flower pulses and grows– yet almost instantly wilts and falls. Hm. Maybe this is the old English major in me, but I’ve made it sound like masturbation. This is not the case. Moving on. The deterioration of the plant causes the changeling to fret that her parents may have watched the corresponding flower in their greenhouse die, but there’s really nothing she can do about it at this point.

Kess attempts to Detect Magic on the flower and the strange substance, but finds nothing. She drifts off to sleep, and when she wakes the next morning, she attempts to scry on Ashe. She is unable to see him, and surmises that he is on a different plan of existence. With this new information, the changeling is bright eyed and bushy tailed. She heads off to wake up Kü, who is thoroughly confused about what time ‘breakfast’ is, and then makes her way to Pearce. The gunslinger groans for another hour, so Kess leaves Tibbins by his side to act as an alarm clock. She has decided that the time for ‘breakfast’ is 7am.

Tuloc is already downstairs with an array of food, sitting at a table with a small orc girl– who he introduces as Vega, his daughter. At his request, they… enjoy?... their meal in silence, and once they’re done eating, Tuloc gives them permission to ask as many questions as they like. He tells them that the factory has existed for around 60-70 years, and that he left his employ there because Iano kept trying to kill him. He’s been in hiding ever since, and he’s used that time to attempt to hack the broken system of Rinmore. He found an herb that helped people wean themselves off of Tear, and so he started his rehabilitation efforts. Tuloc then goes into the making of the drug, stating that there are Embers beneath the lake that Pearce had skimmed just the day before– which is what makes the drug so potent. Divinity is just the lake water, boiled by the green burning Embers below.

Mouse Hunt

The Nobodies confer for a moment, deciding that they want to help Tuloc in his work somehow. They tell the orc that they want to give him 11,000 gold– and he promptly chokes on a piece of bacon he had picked up. He thanks them for their kindness, but Kess quickly changes the route of the conversation. She asks Tuloc if he knows anything about the history of the Embers, but he does not. He laments the lack of a library in the town, and asks why it’s so important to her. The changeling begins to tell him about Ashe, but the orc cuts her off, wanting her to keep her business to herself.

As such, Kess once again redirects focus, this time to healing. She asks Tuloc if he has ever tried magical sources in order to cure the victims of Divinity, and he tells her that they have– it unfortunately had no effect. Soon after, he hears Leery stirring and excuses himself to take care of her. The party makes their way back upstairs and hints to Seylan to check out the present that they left for him and Tuloc downstairs. As they make it back to their rooms, they hear the bartender cry out in excitement, and they relish in the glow of helping others.

Tuloc drew a map of the factory for the group, albeit a shiitty one, and Kess suggests sending Tibbins in to check its accuracy. The rest of the Nobodies agree, and she shifts his form to that of a grey mouse. He scurries off to the factory after Kess explains the plan to him– then enters his vision. The mouse goes under a back door of the target and Kess’ vision poofs back to her own. She is left to assume that her familiar has been dispelled– and wonders if there’s an antimagic spell over the factory.

Adult Decisions

The party spends the next hour or so trying to figure out how to get into the factory without being noticed. They consider polymorphing themselves, reshaping the mountain, or maybe even tunneling in through the lake somehow– but nothing really strikes any of them as a good idea. Kess scours her notes to check for any other ways her Ashe-given powers may be able to help, and in the meantime, Kü and Pearce take some time to themselves.

They talk about Mardosta, and Pearce asks the kobold if he misses it at all. Kü replies that he doesn’t, and reminds the gunslinger that even though everyone else had a great time in the city– he endured a fuckton of trauma. It was, after all, where he lost his mom for the second… and third… time. Pearce apologizes to him, upset that he didn’t think of that pain when he asked. Kü dismisses it, and says that the only thing that truly bothers him is that the party continuously treats him like a child. He may only be 9 years old, but as a kobold, he is just as adult as they are. Pearce takes this in and agrees to remember that in the future.

Kess rejoins them and tells the group that she thinks she can turn herself into an earth elemental and power through the factory– the only downside being that she would have to go alone to do it. Pearce and Kü hate this idea, and rightfully so– I’m just as scared as they are that the changeling is going to go off and kill herself accidentally. Even so, the twosome suggest that they let loose all of their eel cards during a shift change. It would cause so much chaos that she should be able to get in, but they would be close enough to help if need be. They leave this as a strong plan B, choosing instead to wait three hours for the next shift so that they can all polymorph and go in together. The very last thing they hear before arriving at the factory is a busker singing them to their doom.

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TL;DR

If there’s an antimagic field, how did Tibbins get in with Pearce?! I need answers!

Listen, as long as the Nobodies are feeling generous, where’s my 11k?

I can’t wait to see what Kess’ parents’ reactions were to her druggie flower. Also will Kess be addicted now!? How does Tear work??

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Things are about to Kess fire in the next episode, y’all. Watch the chaos over at twitch.tv/lochness on January 5th at 7:30CST/8:30EST! And if you’d like to watch THIS episode, you can find it at the link below:

Can you smell what the Nobodies are cooking, SASholes? I’m Nice Bren, resident SAStorian and applicant for Kü’s next pet. Welcome to Episode 38: On the Clock.

Once Upon a Sparkly Unicorn Spy Bug

We begin our session in the days following the disastrous Night Ball. Pongu, having not yet made his peace with the carnage, continuously sought out his deity for answers. He was presented with the sight of a constellation in the form of a great warrior– conjuring a legend from long ago of one such hero who put down their sword to learn magic. Then the stars above swirled into a spiraling current, leaving darkness in its wake. All the light vanished for just a moment, and as the fairy blinked, the twinkling returned– but one star shone brighter than the rest. It seemed to hover over a cottage on the edge of Mardosta.

Meanwhile, Kü gets up early in order to try and attune to his new cockroach friend, whom he has lovingly dubbed ‘Nice Bug’. He surmises that the creature has no kind of physical needs, so he tucks it beneath his Federal Booty Inspector hat and ambles off to find the rest of the party. Pearce is hard at work scrounging up food for his friends, and Kess is preparing to help more people if her services are needed. The four of them converge in Kess’ bedroom– and while they eat, they discuss making their way out of Mardosta. Pearce admits he doesn’t want to go; Mardosta is the first place he’s felt at home in twelve years. Kess responds in kind, telling the group that she felt a sense of belonging stronger than she ever had because she had the rest of the Nobodies there with her.

Unfortunately, the group knows they have pressing matters to attend to outside of their newfound comfort zone. Kess makes it known that she wants to go to Rinmore in order to continue on her path of helping Ashe– to which Pearce readily agrees, having known this was her intention the whole time. He does, however, bring a caveat to the table. The gunslinger wants to keep tabs on his father as they journey, and Kess offers to scry on him. Pearce grows uncomfortable with the thought and denies her proposition. Kü pipes up, declaring Nice Bug should get a vote in where they go next, and it toots in assent with the party. Yes, you heard that right. No, it isn’t a trumpet sort of toot. This steampunk insect lets out a blast of butt air for communication. We stan.

Harder than Coffee

Pearce suggests they all say their goodbyes to the Shadowmore family, and Kess automatically stiffens. She is hesitant to face the awkwardness of the task, but the gunslinger reminds her of the heightened emotions that came with her return after sneaking out the last time she left home. Kess relents, but reminds the group that they should probably pack and be ready to get out as soon as they’re done. They’re unsure what type of weather they will face in Rinmore, so the Nobodies shove an eclectic mix of clothing into their bags; with Pearce making one withdrawal from his own. He takes his fancy suit, folds it, and tucks it gently into a drawer in the guest room for safe keeping.

The party decides to visit Rook first, because he’s the most likely to A) know things about where they’re headed and B) give them useful handouts because lest we forget– he is a weapons expert and potion maker. He tells them Rinmore is slightly less cold than Mardosta, and winds up giving them potions of greater healing and a draught of mind reading. The latter interests Kess in an unusual way: she wonders if she can use it to communicate with Ashe when he is in animal form. Rook doesn’t quite believe the potion works that way and tries to talk some sort of sense into its use but is quickly distracted by Pearce’s weapon; Iris. He asks to shoot it– firing in his room and honestly making a fool of himself– but at least he had fun doing it. The foursome moves on to Zev and asks him if he wants to join them in their travels. From underneath his blankets he refuses, but says that maybe he’ll meet up with them eventually– and warns them not to do drugs while they’re there.

Did you forget Zev had a twin?! Same! They tell him goodbye as well before seeking out Kess’ parents. Art tells Kess that Rinmore is dangerous and implores ‘his little girl’ to be careful. Pearce interjects that she’s no longer a child– and at this, Norse grabs her daughter in a hug and whispers in her ear to ‘go and fight for any girls who have ever had a choice made for them’ and makes sure that she knows she is proud of her. Kess thanks her and hugs her back as Pearce and Kü express their gratitude to the Shadowmores for treating them like family, and the heads of the house tell them they know what it’s like not to belong. They also implore Kess to keep growing her flowers, to which the changeling readily agrees. As the party slips out, Pearce whispers that he loves the elders– and it is heard and reciprocated.

Horses in the Back

The Nobodies grab their things and head out of the mansion while Kess is detailing her plans for the journey. She says she will fly with the rest of the crew on her back, and that they will camp as she grows tired. Everyone agrees to this Rescuers-esque travel, but just before they set off, they remember that Iano Furl offered them a stipend if they accepted the job. The group seeks out her abode, and finds her looking like death warmed over. Which makes a lot of sense if you remember that she is one of the bodies that hit the floor on the night of the ball. I’m sure being undeaded takes a lot out of you. In any case, the woman hands Kess all of the money up front– about two thousand gold– in repayment for her Revivify services.

As the party is travelling back to a safer take-off point, Pongu surprises them with a heady decision. The fairy tells them that he wants the rest of them to go on without him– only divulging that he has something to take care of that will help him make sure he can protect them to the best of his ability. He promises to return and sets off in the opposite direction. Kü watches him go for a moment before saying, “That’s the first person that has said they’d come back”. I’m getting so many One Tree Hill ‘people always leave’ flashbacks and I want to CRY. The kobold next turns his attention to Nice Bug, and asks Kess if the creature can ride in her bag during the journey– as he’s unsure how well Nice Bug would be able to hold on and he doesn’t want to lose him. Kess dutifully opens her Bag of Holding and the cockroach slips inside.

The changeling shifts into her eagle form and begins their trek. During the span of time it takes to arrive in Rinmore, the party starts up a routine of flying, sleeping, and attempting to talk to patrons. Ashe connects with Kess one night and refills her ash stores (not to be confused with ASHE stores) and Kerti visits Kü before the trip’s end. The kobold asks her about Ashe– trying his best to describe him from Kess’ own words– but the godling doesn’t seem to recognize him. When the conversation finishes, Kü wakes Kess to tell her about the conversation, and Kess realizes she can shift into Ashe to help Kü visualize him. It spooks the kobold, but he listens intently as Kess tells him how Ashe saved her life in the forest in the form of a black wolf. He took her back to the cave in Mardosta– where they later found Pongu– and she woke up to ashes, the necklace she always wears, and her flower power.

Not Ready for Kids

After Kess finishes her tale to Kü with Ashe traveling with her to Evercrest in the form of a bird– Pearce pipes up that she thought the Titan was hot when she saw the small flash of him in the cave before passing out again. The kobold asks if it was because he had all those embers under his skin– and then a disjointed discussion about the birds and the bees ensues and it is absolute chaos. It is something you need to hear to believe, so I wholeheartedly recommend following the link at the end of this recap and scrubbing to 1:45:53. I will say, however, that Kü asserts that he KNOWS what mating is once Pearce uses the term– but the idea of someone being ‘hot’ in a way that isn’t useful to survival doesn’t make sense. The gunslinger nopes out of the conversation with ‘I have never prayed before but I think I’m gonna go pray’.

Cumulatively, the journey takes seven days. It’s cold as hell throughout, and they pass through many destroyed towns that resemble the carnage of Seyhoff. When they land in Rinmore, however, it is a bustling and culturally rich scene. There is all kinds of live music filling the air and animals running around, and the streets are covered in tents and campgrounds. However, they hear a distant factory bell sound, and from the reactions of the townsfolk, they realize just how much sway the making of Divinity holds in the city. Before starting in on an investigation, however, the Nobodies want to secure lodging. They wind up in front of a tavern called The Middle Shelf. As they walk in, they discover a robust and lively patronage, and the smell of various foods.

Kü steps up to the bar and orders the food, drinks, and lodging all at once– making sure to get meat for himself and Pearce, and veggies for Kess. As he heads back to the table with the goodies, Kess suggests starting up a drinking game to open some of the patrons up so they can garner some intel. The gunslinger, however, isn’t keen to play. He’s afraid that the drugs in their systems will make their tolerance much more than his own, so he offers to play cards instead. Kü follows him, acting as a stranger so that he can play to Pearce’s advantage. Kess stays at the bar to watch and listen to their surroundings. The gunslinger hustles a group of factory workers– flubbing some hands but he and Kü handily winning others– and as they do, they inquire about the factory and what it makes.

Real Eyes Realize Unionize

As the boys subtly interrogate their new friends about the city– one of them asks if they’re trying to score some ‘tear’. Not wanting to blow their cover, Pearce remains silent and the patron tells them that if they win the next hand he will give them ‘the time of their lives’. When the gunslinger does indeed beat the rest of them, he’s handed what looks like a children’s popper toy. His opponent cautions him to be careful as the tavern’s proprietor doesn’t care much for the substance– as well as throwing in a warning to Pearce to not get wrapped up in the factory. Working there, life is shit, and they start most people where he is; making sure the lake is clean. He pops some of the drugs himself, and Pearce loses the next hand to leave him with some money.

Kess, sitting at the bar, overhears how drastically everyone’s conversations change once the owner comes around. When she meets back up with Kü and Pearce, they bide their time between factory shifts so that they can talk to the bartender out of earshot of the trickle of patrons. They start out by pretending they’re traveling– and as soon as the owner knows they’re not users and abusers (yet), he gives them a round on the house. He explains the horrific existence of the factory and is now the umpteenth person to warn them against it. I think you can see where this is going. So, Kess leaves a fifty gold tip for the bartender and grabs Kü, and as they all exit, Pearce says that he has decided to try to get a job at the factory.

Kess poofs out Tibbins in the form of a beetle so he can hide on Pearce’s person; allowing the changeling to pop into him so she can keep tabs on the situation. The gunslinger has no trouble securing the job– he just walks up to the factory, saying that he’s new in town– and they start him out (you guessed it) skimming shit off of the lake. He attempts to do a little investigating but the place seems locked down tight and no one is really interested in talking. As such, he tries to escape after forty minutes of labor and is commanded to ‘get the FUCK back to work’. As they wait FIVE HOURS for Pearce to surface again, Kess directs Tibbins to a stairwell and runs into an office where a blue-skinned man with angular features and a receding hairline stands motionless. Her sight through Tibbins is not strong enough to see details of anything else– so she gives up. It’s not until a total of ten hours later that Pearce emerges, and he is stopped by a short and scrawny blonde woman who asks for his help. Someone is trying to kill her.

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TL;DR

Welcome to Houses and Humans. Looks like Pearce’s multiclass is going swimmingly; he just took his second level of Step-Dad and got the Dead-End Job feat.

I wonder what Pongu is up to! I hope he brings us back souvenirs!

Is it too late to go back to Mardosta?

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The moral of the story here today folks is KÜNIONIZE! Join in with the Secret Adventure Society for the next episode over at twitch.tv/lochness on December 22nd at 7:30CST/8:30EST! And if you’d like to watch THIS episode, you can find it at the link below:

Don’t fear the Reaper, SASholes. I’m Bren, resident SAStorian and the very diamond that holds the power to bring you back to life. Welcome to Episode 37: The Light Where We Can Find It.

Down With the Sickness

In the aftermath of Sienna’s deadly outburst, our heroes look around and see that forty-one people have fallen to the floor. Before attending to them, Kü unleashes a never-before-seen ability (it’s like they leveled up or something) and heals Kess. Once restored, Kess makes her way to Vendreth, who has fallen out of his wheelchair. As she looks him over, however, she realizes that he is dead. The Nobodies quickly catch on to the fact that this is the fate of all the prone party-goers, and Kü attempts to smack some of them in order to cast Spare the Dying-- but it is unsuccessful. In a panic, Kess takes a diamond necklace from her mom and casts Revivify. Though the gem is consumed, Vendreth remains unresponsive.

Suddenly, Pongu’s eyes go black. He begins to levitate in the air, shouting a reverberating ‘NO!’ as whispers weave through the exclamation. The fairy has an explosion of power, not unlike Carrie White at the prom, as waves of telekinesis swirl items and humanoids around the ballroom. Kü casts command on his compatriot, willing him to ‘STOP (his bullshit)’. It is ineffective-- so Pearce takes action; tackling Pongu out of the air. It takes a bit to fully bring him back down to solid ground, and all the while the gunslinger is shaking him, begging Pongu to snap out of it. Finally, Kü summons his hammer and grabs the fairy. He holds the weapon aloft as a warning and tells Pongu that they can grieve later; to which there is no reply aside from Pongu’s tattoos returning to their natural color. With Pongu calm for the moment, Kess surveys the room again and tells Pearce that she might be able to bring at least some of the people back-- but it wouldn’t be until the next day that the Reincarnate spell would be able to be prepared. Additionally, she requires ingredients that the party doesn’t have on hand at the moment. Pearce instantly finds Kess’ brother, Rook, and asks him for access to his oils and potions, to which he agrees; giving the gunslinger the key to the cabinet to grab whatever he needs. In his absence, Kess scrys on Sienna and sees her walking down a beach in Evercrest-- with a beam of green light gliding alongside her. Kü lights a bonfire in the ballroom and tries to summon Kerti for her assistance, but she doesn’t answer. With no other option, Kess sends Zev running for clerics, druids, any healers who may be able to right this terrible wrong.

Pongu’s Lament

As the surviving members of the ball wait for help, Kess and Pearce argue about the morality of the Reincarnate spell-- which DOES bring beings back to life, but it may not restore their body as it once was, leaving a soul in the vessel of a different race. Pongu removes himself from the hubbub and steps onto the balcony, looking up at the stars. He calls out to his deity, asking why this pain happened to him again. A response comes in the form of a constellation shaped like a goose. The fairy recalls a story where the animal represents chaos-- and deduces that some things have no rhyme or reason. Kü finds his way outside as well, taking in Pongu’s distant gaze into the unknown. He tells the fairy he will be there for him if he needs someone-- because he’s seen a lot of death too and knows what sort of toll it takes.

When Pongu doesn’t respond, Kü adds, ‘If you’re happy just talking to the stars, that’s fine too’, and then mentions the fairy’s breakdown. Pongu seems to have no memory of it, and is taken aback by the kobold mentioning his telekinetic powers. Another constellation burns brighter, grabbing Pongu’s attention yet again. This one is of a manta ray, and the fairy remembers a tale of a school of fish trying to escape a shark. The only reason they made it out alive was because of a manta ray hovering above them as they moved, blocking the predator’s view. With this moral in mind, Kü is able to coerce Pongu back inside the ballroom in order to move the bodies of the dead somewhere better than the cold manor floor. As they enter, Pearce catches sight of Pongu and asks him if they can expect another such outburst from him-- admitting he likes the fairy but will be ready to yeet him should he not be able to contain himself. Pongu boops the gunslinger on the nose and tells him he’s unsure since this is the first time it has ever happened-- but that he would try his best to figure out how to control it.

During this time, Kess is recounting the dead and taking stock of the losses. She notices that each of the potential employers they encountered-- other than the one who had approached Kü-- are among the casualties. Pearce makes his way over to Orinae Mar and searches him, coming up with 32 gold. Kess turns a blind eye, choosing instead to beg for SnakeAshe’s help, but he seems unable to assist. Pearce sees and hears her desperation and informs Kess that sometimes things just ARE, and that they can’t fix everything; they just need a direction in order to move on. Pongu agrees with the gunslinger, but Kü doesn’t understand why they wouldn’t help these adults who may have kids at home that would not be able to grasp their absence. Kess lands somewhere in the middle and tells the group she wants to first bring Vendreth back so that she can ask him for guidance.

The Blame Game

Kü, not entirely sold on the order of operations, asks Pearce if he can talk to the gunslinger alone. As they head toward somewhere more private, Zev bursts in with an entourage clad in robes. The clerics have arrived. The kobold ignores the dramatic entrance and corners Pearce, telling him that they have to find Sienna as soon as possible. He bursts into tears, explaining that all of this carnage is his fault since he had brought Skugamor into the manor, who then killed Sienna’s fiance, and he knows firsthand what it’s like to lose himself inside of a tragedy. Pearce comforts him, making sure Kü knows that he couldn’t have controlled Skugamor or Sienna’s actions.

Something in the kobold’s confession starts to nag at the gunslinger, however. Once Kü is feeling okay, Pearce makes his way to Kess and reminds her that in addition to having been strangled and getting his neck broken, Xarus was poisoned-- and he wonders if it may have been using the same substance that was in the champagne. With this, Kess takes Pearce outside of the ballroom and casts Pass Without a Trace on them both, using this time to finally break into her mom’s office. The gunslinger unlocks the door without a hitch, and once they’re inside, the changeling confides in Pearce that she’s concerned her mom may have been the one to end Xarus’ life-- and if what he’s saying is true-- it would mean she poisoned the nobles as well. While in this rant, Kess notices a mechanical cockroach watching the duo. She snatches it and holds it aloft-- watching as Pearce digs through documents on her mom’s desk.

The changeling herself spots a letter-- and she hands the cockroach off to Pearce as she opens it. It is from a hitman and states that should Norse ever need their help, she need only reach out again. Kess deduces that her mother was in the process of hiring someone to take her former fiance out-- but he was murdered by someone else before she could. With a sigh of relief, Kess takes the cockroach back from Pearce, realizing now that it is more than likely used to keep watch of the house. She decides not to return the item, but makes sure that everything else is in the condition that they found it, and the twosome make their way back down to the ballroom to assess the progress of the new arrivals.

Killing Time

The summoned healers bring Vendreth back, and he asks the gathered heroes what happened. Kess explains the situation and he is at a loss of what to do with the dead nobles. The ordeal proves to be too much for his mind; he pulls himself back into his wheelchair and finds his way out of the ballroom to get some fresh air. In Vendreth’s absence, Kess realizes the pressure is on her to make the decisions again. She sends Zev back out to collect ingredients that she and the clerics may need, and Kü suggests the nonhealers of the survivors facilitate this endeavor.

As she waits for their return, Kess travels back up to her room with SnakeAshe-- reading him her notes on her investigation into how to help him. Pongu breaks away to try and summon his new abilities to no immediate avail. Kü attempts to start and talk to fires in order to reach Kerti-- and when he successfully does, he asks her if she knows the Emerald Flame that Sienna mentioned in her tirade. Kerti tells him that this specific god is trouble-- and has not resurfaced in many years. The connection is lost between the two of them, and Kü immediately takes the information to Pearce.

Pearce ferries this new nugget of revelation to Kess, and she makes a note of it. The gunslinger sees how tired she is and strikes up a conversation with her about healthy coping mechanisms-- because he knows they both struggle with them. On a whim, he removes his tri-corner hat and brings up the moment where he asked Kess to get mad at it. The gunslinger holds it out to Kess and entreats her to hug it instead, which she does. After handing it back to Pearce, Kess envelopes him in a hug too, thanking him for everything.

On the Roach Again

Ten days pass between the ball and where we end our episode. Kess spends the majority of these helping the hired healing hands bring back the souls who were willing to return. All in all they revived everyone but four individuals who wanted to stay in whatever afterlife they found themselves in. Most of the forty-one were restored to their original selves, but ten of the gathered humanoids returned in different bodies. With this endeavor completed, Kess redirects her attention toward making sure the Nobodies can stop it from happening again.

The changeling seeks Pearce out-- asking him if he thinks they should give Kü the mechanical roach they found. The gunslinger shudders at the thought-- then wonders if her mom will be able to see and/or hear them if they take it on their travels. This worry passes quickly-- both of them coming to the conclusion that the kobold would be overjoyed to have the clockwork insect. With this gift in tow, Kess starts to head in Kü’s direction, but Pearce stops her. The gunslinger tells her to take her time processing this trauma, and that he wants to follow her lead on where they go next.

Kess admits to him that she wants to explore the Divinity crisis, and thanks Pearce for his support. She leaves, and finds Kü. First, she asks him if he will ask Kerti the next time they talk if she knows a Titan named Ashe. The kobold promises he will, and wonders aloud if the Emerald Flame was the god whose destruction Ashe was fashioned out of. Making a mental note of this possible connection, Kess reaches into her pocket and produces the gift for Kü. He loves the bug immediately, and when the changeling divulges where it came from, he is even more delighted-- running off with a happy cry that Kess must like him more than her own mom.

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TL;DR

Can we take bets on what Kü names his new pet? If Meat the Horse is any indication, I’m hoping for Shiny the Cockroach.

Everyone’s respective deities really shit the bed this episode. I think Pearce is doing JUST fine without a voice in his head, or any healing abilities, or any sort of friend-shaped familiar...

Drugs and cults and travel, oh my!

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It apPearce as though our adventurers are headed in a new direction soon. Be sure to stay tuned for the next episode over at twitch.tv/lochness on December 8th at 7:30CST/8:30EST! And if you’d like to watch THIS episode, you can find it at the link below:

It’s a double header, SASholes! I’m Bren, resident SAStorian and your most knowledgeable sports fan. Now lace up your skates, feel the turf beneath your feet, and don’t double dribble! Welcome to Episode 35: Things to Come AND Episode 36: The Night Ball.

A Scry For Help

Last we left off, Kü was rendered motionless by the Nobodies’ mystery foes as the rest of the Night Market looked on in horror. As the session begins, Kess and Pearce try to awaken Kü to no avail. They then turn their efforts to healing, and afterwards, they notice that the kobold’s state is more so akin to sleeping than unhealthy unconsciousness. As such, they ignore the re-ensuing chaos in the market to return to the Shadowmore estate-- which is SUCH a superhero thing to do. The Hulk surely never stayed to clean up after his giant green messes. And now I’m thinking of Bruce Banner shitting. Okay. Moving on. They burst into the mansion, only pausing to yell into the abyss that the Night Market isn’t safe, and take refuge in the guest room-- laying Kü on the couch.

The three remaining party members shift into frantic conversation-- announcing that they’ll check on Kü every hour to make sure he’s breathing, wondering if the misty shapes they saw were related to Skugamor, and pondering why exactly they were after the kobold. Kess proposes a reprieve from their worry and tells the group she wants to scry on Scott. Pearce and Pongu follow her to a watchtower on the estate and watch as she sits on the ground, expression going blank. The changeling herself, however, starts to smell smoke and sees a raven appear on her shoulder. It pecks her on the head and pulls her consciousness into a cave with a lake that houses a rotting dragon. Kess recognizes it as the dungeon beneath the cottage in Seyhoff where the Nobodies fought Gus’ pupil. She watches as Scott paces back and forth between the dragon and some journals-- muttering endlessly that he doesn’t know what to do.

Scott eventually grabs a vial and sticks it into the murky lake water, taking some damage as it splashes on his hand. And oh, surprise, it’s void water. The bad guy is studying the bad shit. He then makes his way over to the ritual area the student had set up for herself-- but the scry ends before Kess can make out what he does there. She details the events of the vision for Peace and Pongu, worried now that she set Scott on this path of curiosity. Then, remembering his reaction to touching the void water, attempts to see if the liquid still has an effect on her. As she pours some out of her canteen, it freezes before it meets skin-- hovering in little void balls (heh) to keep from making contact. A realization settles in that this all started when she fell into the void hole (HEH) in the Seyhoff storm and died.

While Kü Were Sleeping

The week passes with Kü in his coma-esque stasis, Kess and Pongu reaching out to their respective deities, and Pearce asking Zev to get him to LITERALLY Willard and Ren in Footloose him before the big ball. For those of you who don’t speak in 80s films-- he asks him to teach him how to dance. In between all this, the group splits up and takes descriptions (albeit sexually charged ones) of their misty foes to various members of the Shadowmore family, and not a one of them is any help. They continue to check on their fallen kobold; Pongu even summoning his spider familiar to skitter over Kü to do its own investigation. Nalani tells Pongu Kü is fine, but his state is troubling, and like nothing she’s ever seen before.

Though Pearce covered his dance lessons by telling the group he was combat training with Rook, Kess ends up seeing him through Zev’s window-- but keeps his secret. She also uses another scry to look in on Xefi, seeing that Evercrest is in ruins, and that their former employer is currently hiding from green tendrils of death from the sky and looking rough as fuck. That night, Kess decides to join the boys in the guest room-- drawing a sketch of Xefi to see if Pongu can send her a message. The picture doesn’t seem to be enough, and so Pongu spends a few days looking for clerics to join with him in order to reach her. When they do, Kess sends out a message telling her that help is on the way, and asking if she is safe and what they might need to know about the situation in Evercrest.

A grizzled voice bounces back-- assuring the changeling that no, she is not safe, and that the Lifewell water is drained. It is not the informative peek into Evercrest that Kess wanted, but before the group can look any further into it, a staff member of the house comes to tell Pongu that he has a guest in the foyer. It turns out to be an emissary from Mauna'Vai named Kiyo. They have come to tell the fairy that their fleet is retreating from the east coast in order to protect something called the Hamahoa. Pongu accepts the notice, but confesses to his friend that he must stay with the charges he has now even though he loves his empire. The fairy promises to rejoin with them as soon as he is able, and the emissary leaves in understanding.

Mardosta’s Next Top Model

After seven long days, Kü finally awakens from his slumber. Pearce rushes in to check on him and fill him in on what he’s missed. With a cursory medicine check, the gunslinger deduces that the kobold is doing okay other than some lingering weakness. Emerging from the guest room, the boys find the estate in chaos because of the ball. They meet up with the others as Pearce pieces together that it’s possible his father might be at the celebration. He tells the Nobodies to look out for any mention of a Gehrman Goodblood. With that said and settled, the group realizes they should go pick up their fancy attire from the tailor, and we get the loveliest of montages as our heroes try on their suits and dresses.

Kü’s and Pongu’s were just as described, and we finally get a look at what Kess had designed for herself and Pearce. The gunslinger places a diamond in his pocket, looking at himself as he stands in a slim fit, dark blue suit detailed with embroidered flowers. A white button up peeks out from under the jacket, and Pearce is in awe of how well Kess has done. The changeling herself is in a tightly fitted red dress with a mesh neckline that drops down her stomach, and a backless view of her shoulders. The fiery gown flits down her arms and comes to a point that is connected to one of her fingers, giving her the illusion of gloves. She gets Zev to help her with her hair and makeup, and Pongu comes to give a hand while having a heart-to-druidic heart with Kess.

Meanwhile, Kü and Pearce talk about fears. The kobold tells him that he has a haunting feeling that a spider was crawling on him as he slept-- and in lieu of telling Kü that he is 100% correct, the gunslinger attempts to talk him out of that specific fear. He tells him that he’s seen Kü in battle and is certain that any arachnid would cower before him. Disbelieving but unwilling to argue with Pearce, Kü asks the gunslinger what he’s afraid of. After a pause, Pearce tells him that he’s scared of losing the friends he’s found in the Nobodies, but that he isn’t going to let that happen. He then decides to break up the seriousness by teaching the kobold to dance, though Kü winds up leading him in the gambol.

There’s A Snake In My Ball

The ball has finally arrived. Kess is nowhere to be found as she has to enter with her family, so Pearce, Pongu, and Kü travel down the grand staircase holding hands. Pearce tells the other two boys that they are there to have fun, not embarrass Kess, and to keep an ear out if they hear any intel about Scott or ghosts. It seems as though the dance is only for the nobles, which would have garnered a bigger eyeroll from the scruffy adventurers had the Shadowmore line not started their entrance. As Kess begins to glide down the stairs, she spots a snake on the ground-- and after a few adorable rolls and tongue flicks-- Kess recognizes it as Ashe. She picks him up and places him around her shoulders and makes her way into the ball like Britney Spears at the VMAs.

Kess introduces SnakeAshe to her friends, and afterwards Pearce asks the changeling to dance and absolutely nails it. Running off that high, he then dances with Zev and literally anyone else that will say yes to him. Standing alone, Kü is approached by a young girl his size that winds up asking him to be her dance partner. Pongu grooves to his own beat and Kess relishes her time with Ashe-- trying to cast Speak With Animals to speak with him but being unable to-- until all of our heroes start getting accosted by strangers offering jobs and coin. Pearce is cornered by a gun manufacturer named Orinae Mar who recognizes his surname and asks about his dad. The gunslinger tells him he hasn’t spoken to the man in years, and from his tone and vehemency, Orinae asks him to join forces with him.

At the same time, Pongu is stopped by an owner of a fleet of merchant ships whose name is Pelham Toven. He asks the fairy for his name, and we hear his last name for the first time; Nightsong. Pelham requests the Nobodies check on his farm of sea urchins over in Evercrest. A gnomish man makes his way up to Kü and asks if the kobold was the one he saw fighting in the Underfrost. With a blank gaze, Kü asks him how he’s supposed to know what he saw-- and the man agrees and turns right back around. A lady named Iano Furl addresses Kess, telling her that a cult has popped up in Rinmore because of a drug called Divinity. She wants the party to dismantle it-- and as she tells the changeling about it, Ashe tightens around her shoulders in interest. With these interactions in hand, the friends come back together, all with their own ideas about where their journey should be taken next.

Black Widow

The Nobodies tell each other about the odd jobs they’ve been offered and the places they’re now interested in going-- and as they do, the gnome who had tried to talk to Kü passes by, and the kobold stops him. He defers to Pearce to handle the conversation, and they learn that he wants the group to fight a monster on the riverbank that is disturbing his supply line. Not coming to any sort of conclusion, the allies shift their focus to Kess and Ashe, who make their way over to her parents. She introduces her friend to her mom and dad, and tells them that he is responsible for the flowers that grew in the greenhouse while she was away.

The clock strikes midnight, and all hell breaks loose. A black hole opens up in the air with a figure hovering in front of it. As the party looks closer, they see that it’s Sienna-- who you will remember was Xarus’ widowed fiance. Can you be widowed if you’re not married? I’m going to Google that once I finish writing this recap. I’ll get back with you. Anyway! Sienna has two beads of glossy black liquid that Kess recognizes as void water-- and as she drifts into the air with them in tow, the imbibers of the champagne that has been flowing free at the party start to drop to the ground. Norse, Zev, and Rook all double over in pain while Kess attempts to see if Sienna put void water in the alcohol, but she doesn’t see any.

Sienna then goes into a villain monologue which I will write out for you verbatim:

“Through the chaos of discord, destruction, and death; through the cleansing fire of famine and war, the arrogance of a world will crumble, and the Emerald Flame will rise once more.”

With this ominous prophecy delivered, the portal closes and Sienna disappears, leaving the ball quiet-- mostly from the unconscious part-goers but also the stunned silence of our adventurers who have no idea what to do as the world around them has opened up in terrifying ways.

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TL;DR

I’m so glad Kü is okay, but can we go back to why he was almost taken?!

The Nobodies are now gaining renown and they’re getting the D&D equivalent to spam calls.

I KNEW SIENNA WAS BAD NEWS! Pearce should have killed her when he had the chance!

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They’re out to get the Nobodies, and that little Pongu too! Catch the next episode over at twitch.tv/lochness on November 25th at 7:30CST/8:30EST! And if you’d like to watch THESE episodes, you can find them at the links below:

Secret Adventure Society: Session 35 | Things to Come

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