#secondsemestersenior

At this point in my life, i can genuinely say i have no idea what to even think or what i want from this incredible life i have been given. I should be happy, I have so much to be grateful for (friends, education, family) but its the growing fear in my mind that holds me back from the things i want most in life. I want to be successful. I want to be outgoing and happy again. I want to do huge things with my life. Things so enormous that its probably not going to happen. The next several months are going to be the most exciting, emotional, and strangely terrifying feelings that i have ever experienced. Going away to college, leaving high school, saying goodbye to the people who have played monumental roles in my life over the years. Its all happening so fast, and its almost as if i played down the thoughts about how much is actually going to change. The New year has already not started off so great, but I am promising myself that from now on i am going to live for ME. Not for BOYS. Not for my FAMILY. Not for ANYONE but ME. I am going to truly experience life. Im not going to stay in on weekends scared of being judged or anything of that sort, because this is my year! And I can fucking do this! Leggo!