Marriage - a word that easily rings a bell, doesnât do when itâs the second one. People might feel that opting for second marriages is an awful practice, and if a person couldnât sustain their first marriage, how will they be able to do the second.
However, luck doesnât work with everyone. Sometimes people are destined to cross paths after divorcing. So it isnât regrettable to get married the second time. This is exactly where second marriage matrimony can help you.
The first step is to imagine yourself in an open and honest relationship. Donât let rejection, failure, or past hurt keep you from experiencing the love and intimacy you are destined to get.
What Ruins the First Marriage?As the definition suggests, love is a risk. Itâs dangerous because there is no guarantee, and your partner could abandon you at any time, betray or stop loving you. In fact, revealing your true feelings may put you at risk of being hurt or criticized.
Opening up to our partner can make us feel vulnerable and exposed, but it is the most essential aspect of a relationship. Those of us who have been divorced are all too familiar with the reality of lost love, mistrust, and, in some cases, betrayal.
Even if our partner was not unfaithful, we might have the impression that they did not have our best interests at heart or threw in the towel too quickly, opting to divorce rather than work on the marriage. Why keep the rope when it already has a knot in it?
As a result, it stands to reason that fear of being vulnerable could be a real issue in second marriages. However, failing to express our deepest feelings, thoughts, and desires can jeopardize our relationship because we lose trust and intimacy. The risks of betrayal or falling out of love become more apparent as we become increasingly disengaged from our partners
Couples with baggage from a first or second marriage, on the other hand, may lack the insight and skills needed to avoid the pitfalls that threaten their happiness and success. Itâs critical not to give in to discouragement because there will be bumps along the way.
If a couple can establish their foundation of trust and intimacy, they will easily be able to withstand the stresses and storms that most second marriages in India and stepfamilies entail.
Here are 10 Rules for Successful Second MarriagesWith numerous first and second marriages ending in divorce, itâs time to explore the top 10 rules on how to make a marriage work the second time around:
1. Gradually Open-UpExperiment with being vulnerable in small steps to gain confidence in being more open with your partner. These could gradually deepen your relationship. Discussing minor issues (such as schedules and meals) is an excellent place to start before tackling more significant issues such as child discipline or finances.
2. Stay HonestIn a second marriage, honesty and communication are critical. Be forthcoming about finances, your past, and any relevant concerns with your former spouse and children.
3. Practice ForgivenessForgiveness does not imply condoning the harm done to you, but it does allow you to move on. Remember that you are all on the same team and learn to forgive others
4. Spend time with your PartnerTake time away from your children to do things you enjoy as a couple. A âdate nightâ or couples time can be very enriching â even if itâs just going for a walk or getting a yummy sandwich at a restaurant.
5. Stay RespectfulRespectfully express your thoughts, feelings, and desires. When couples sweep things under the rug, resentment can build, so be vulnerable and donât bury negative feelings.
6. Clear the AirDiscuss sensitive issues privately, such as money and personality conflicts, but hold regular, informal family meetings (where everyone feels heard) to clear the air and address family issues.
7. Embrace DifferencesDonât let parenting differences separate you. The stepparentâs role is that of a friend and supporter rather than a disciplinarian. Learn new techniques and share your thoughts. When the remarriage matrimony offers you a chance to find love again, never let these differences overpower you.
8. Build UnderstandingProblems are never over; instead, start accepting that ups and downs are unavoidable. Keep making consistent efforts to be more understanding with one another â as well as with your children and stepchildren.
9. Change your PersonalityIf your personality wasnât a bright one in your first marriage, try changing it a bit! Make a commitment to working on your endurance and patience. Many of the kinks that come with stepfamily life will smooth out over time.
10. Stay GratefulGratitude can make things work out even if they are on edge. Pay gratitude to your partner for being there for you, each moment when you couldnât make it to the top.
You are the best judge of where you can compromise and where you must be firm. Remember this rule: Any relationship, whether your first or tenth, that requires you to compromise your self-respect is not worth it. Minor lifestyle changes, on the other hand, should not bother you too much, especially if both partners are willing to go the extra mile to make it work.
Wrapping UpApart from all the rules mentioned above, the primary ingredients for a successful marriage are the same â trust, tolerance, a sense of humor, empathy, compatibility, and, most importantly, true love.
Do not be discouraged if your first-time story does not end happily ever after. As long as the ingredients stay intact, the second time around is always destined to be a winner!
Second marriages can even be a bit more difficult because a person already has a set of expectations from his or her first marriage. Furthermore, unresolved issues from the first marriage may cast a shadow on the next one if they are not addressed upfront. Widow matrimony also helps spark love for the ones who have been unfortunate the first time.
However, If a couple stays mindful of their actions and makes a conscious decision not to repeat the mistakes of their first failed committed relationship, the second marriage may be happier and a lot more successful than the first one.
Connect with us at Rishta Dobara and find love, once again!
