#second breakup

Elliott would’ve definitely been able to talk some sense into Kurt before things got out of hand. And Kurt just needed the objective reassurance that everything would be alright. 

Well, consider this the end. I had managed to become obsessed without her even talking to me, and felt like I had broken up again, within a month. 

I knew it was going to hurt breaking up, but I never knew it was going to be this bad, where it would effect me a year into the future. I never knew I would have those nights where I would waterfalls tears, in absolute despair, silently shouting in grief, gripping my sheets and writhing in my bed. Its embarrassing to admit. But its what happened.

To think I thought my grieving would end after one or two sessions of tears, and then I would go back to my old self like before we started dating, holy shit- what a fucking idiot. That never happened. 

I hate how this still makes me feel something. Like I still love her or something. But I don't- especially after being cut off like that, I loved the things we did together, the memories we had, and the relationship we had. I loved everything, but, we failed to make each other better people. We were in different areas of life, with different values and goals that just made us incompatible. 

The final axe swing that chopped down this tree of desperation was this short writing I discovered randomly: 

“Any love you find in a season of desperation is going to reek of mediocracy

There is so much more that this life has to offer you than a romantic relationship. There are mountains to be climbed, friendships to be made, fields to flourish in. There are an infinite amount of opportunities waiting for your arrival. 

Sweet friends, go out in this world and fall deeply in love with yourself. Find, crate, bask in your boundlessness. Be yourself, authentically and unapologetically. 

And once you’ve soaked in your singleness, once you’ve leaped to new levels, love will surely find you because you have first found love in yourself.”