You grabbed your drink as you and your partner made your way to the ambulance in the bay. No sooner than you could switch from your station shoes to your duty boots did your phone ring. You read the caller ID and saw Hondo’s name.

“What’s up, Hondo?”

“Hey girl,” his voice was calm, but you could tell there was panic in his tone. “It’s Deacon. He can’t breathe.”

Your heart rate picked up as worry began to consume you. You fought the feeling, making yourself stay calm so that you could do your job. “What happened?”

“We had a raid. He got OC sprayed in the face by the suspect. We’ve washed him out, but he can’t breathe.”

“Get all of his contaminated clothing off of him. We’re on our way.”

Your partner turned the lights and sirens on as you pulled onto the road.

“We have a SWAT officer,” she informed you.

“Yeah, it’s Deacon. Hondo just briefed me. It’s either a reaction or he’s asthmatic. Monitor and airway bag when we get there. They’re getting him naked for us.”

When you arrived on scene, Deacon was sitting on the back of Black Betty in a tripod position. Your partner pulled up beside of him. As soon as you opened your door, you heard audible stridor and wheezing.

“Fuck.”

You got out, opened the side door of the ambulance and grabbed your medication bag.

“Hey, babe, are you allergic to anything?”

Deacon was struggling. You didn’t like the way that he looked. You had to work quick.

He shook his head.

“Yeah, well, you are now.” You pulled the epinephrine vial out of your bag and drew up the appropriate dose. “Gonna get epi, breathing treatments, IV, benadryl, steroids, mag, and more epi and breathing treatments.”

Deacon held one thumb up and you chuckled to yourself, knowing he didn’t have a clue, as you gave him the shot in his arm.

“You’re going to feel like your heart is beating out of your chest. I need you to stay calm and work through it with me.”

He nodded.

He was physically calm, but one moment of eye contact with him and you could see in his eyes that he was terrified.

“I’m going to take kick ass care of you. Remember, this is what I trained for and this is what I love… right?”

He glanced at you and you winked.

Your partner got Deacon hooked up to your heart monitor as you started him on a breathing treatment.

By the time you were ready to load him up, his SWAT teammates had unloaded your stretcher and rolled it up to you. They helped you as you helped Deacon stand up and turn to sit on your stretcher. Once loaded into your ambulance, you threw your entire protocol book at your boyfriend. Thankfully, the first dose of epi that you have him broke the stridor. Along with the rest of your treatment, Deacon’s lungs were beginning to sound better, but he still needed continuous monitoring and more treatment. You took an internal sigh of relief when his bronchospasm finally broke. He was still very short of breath however, he looked more calm.

When you arrived at the ER, you and your partner unloaded Deacon, took him inside to his room, and gave your hand-off report to the nursing staff. You assisted the nursing staff with getting Deacon hooked up and were grateful when the nurse and your partner were gone so that you had a moment alone with Deacon.

“Thank you,” he said with the nebulizer on his face. His voice was hoarse. He reached out and grabbed your hand, stroking your knuckles with his thumb.

“You’re welcome, baby.” You wanted to lean down and kiss his forehead, but refrained giving the OC spray that was undoubtedly still on his skin and in his hair.

“I’ll come by and check on you in a little bit, okay?”

He nodded.

That night, you were home with Deacon. He had been discharged with steroids, nebulizers, and a prescription epi pen. You were on the couch with Deacon’s head in your lap as you rubbed his hair.

He reached up and grabbed your hand and pulled your knuckles down to his lips.

“I was so glad to see you pull up today.”

“Oh yeah?” You asked softly.

“Mmhhmm.” He hummed.

“I’m glad that I could be there for you, baby.”

“I was scared as hell.”

“I know that, but I told you I had you, didn’t I?”

He looked up at you and you winked. “I told you I was the best.”

“It’s a good thing I snatched you up when I did, huh?”

You leaned down and kissed Deacon tenderly.

After their first night together Nikki wasn’t sure if she could physically endure anymore orgasms, but she would love to bring David to another one and it still felt amazing in the process. She followed David into the shower once he had gotten the water hot. He pulled her into his embrace as the water ran down their intertwined bodies. After a few moments, David pulled Nikki from his chest, turned her around and began make sure her hair was wet and ready for shampoo. He grabbed her shampoo, squirted some into his hand and began working it through her hair, massaging it into her scalp. After her hair was soaped up, he took the time to wash his own hair and beard while Nikki cleaned her face with face wash. Once Nikki rinsed her face, David washed his hair and beard, then turned Nikki again so he could work the shampoo out of her hair. Nikki stood with her arms folded in front of her, enjoying the intimacy she was sharing with David. Nikki put conditioner in her hair while David put her body wash on her loufa. She turned around to face him and kissed his cheek as he began washing her chest. 

“I love you, David Kay.” 

David paused washing Nikki’s body and looked at her with a smile, “I love you more than anything, baby… and I will never get tired

of hearing you say it.” 

Nikki rinsed after David washed her, only to have to wash again once David was finished with her. She loved making him feel so good. 

The couple was on the way to grab lunch once they finished in the shower and got dressed. David’s hand was holding Nikki’s on the center console. 

“So, one thing that I completely forgot about last night… we didn’t use a condom and we didn’t talk about me pulling out…” David said.

Nikki could sense the hesitation in his voice. 

“My birth control is in my arm…” She said, “It stays there. I haven’t had a period in years and I’ve spent 31 years in this body, I know ovulation aches and pains and I also haven’t had those in years. I’m not concerned, but if you are, I don’t mind condoms.”

“No, baby, I was just asking. I don’t want to scare you off, nor am I trying to have the ‘I’m ready for kids when you are.’ Talk, but there are worse things in this world than making a baby with someone you love.” 

Nikki grew distant for a moment and Deacon was worried he might have scared her by being too forward. His worry multiplied when he saw tears threatening to spill from her eyes. The couple sat in silence until he noticed her breathing pattern change – attempting to calm herself without falling apart.  

“Baby, I’m sorry, I didn’t -“

“No, David, it’s not you…” Nikki said. Deacon squeezed her hand. She sniffed. 

“There was one part of the story I left out when I told you about the attack from my ex.” She suddenly became petrified of telling her lover the truth. She was terrified that he would lose all trust in her and worst of all – she was scared she would lose him.

“What’s that, love?” His voice was soft… comforting. 

“The reason that he attacked me that day was because he found out I was pregnant… despite raping me on multiple occasions, he was insistent that he didn’t want children. I had to agree with him. No child should have been born into that environment. I hid my pregnancy for 23 weeks - that’s why I was trying to leave. Until he found the sonogram pictures in my car. When he cut me that day, he missed my uterus, but my blood loss killed my baby.”

The tears spilled from her eyes as she thought back on feeling her baby move and watching her belly grow. Her baby would always be a part of her. Deacon had no words for his girl. He immediately pulled into the next parking lot, got out, and took Nikki into his arms as she sobbed. He was surprised that she had kept this from him after telling him the first part of her story, but he made conscious efforts to put himself in her shoes. Regardless, he couldn’t be mad at her – not with her falling apart in his arms like this. 

“He took so much from me, David.” She cried in between breaths.

“I know, I know, baby.” Deacon tried to console her as he rubbed her hair. He kissed her head.

Nikki thought she had gotten over this…. But again, maybe she hadn’t. 

Deacon was slightly bothered that Nikki had left out such a huge part of that story, but after seeing how much it still affected her, he decided to let it go.  

“Her name was going to be Dakota…” Nikki said, her voice weak with surrender. 

“I know she would have been just as beautiful as you, darling. There’s not a doubt in my mind she’s watching down over you, so very proud of the woman you are.” 

Deacon held his love in his arms until she indicated she was ready to resume their day. Once they were in his truck on their way to food again, Nikki began apologizing. She hadn’t meant to unload on David like she had and part of her felt guilty for not disclosing this information beforehand, but now she understood why her mind chose to suppress it. 

“Sweetheart, please don’t ever apologize for feeling the way you feel. I’m here to love you through it all.” Deacon kissed the back of her hand. 

Nikki knew Deacon had questions and she was more than willing to answer, so she began. 

“I guess that’s why I never got into another relationship after Jason - my ex. I knew the heartache I experienced every single day knowing what a horrible dad my baby was going to have and I knew that in order to protect her, it would mean leaving… and leaving killed her.” Nikki felt nauseated at finally voicing these thoughts, feelings, and emotions, but she continued. “I’ve never met anyone that even came close to what a husband and father should be in my opinion. I always refused to put myself or any innocent lives in that danger again. It ate away at me for so long and clearly it still bothers me, but I’ve come a long, long way since then.

“I want to have children one day, with the right person and David, you are my person. I don’t necessarily want children right now, but you give me such a security… you are home to me, David. That’s why last night, I didn’t care what happened in the aftermath of it all. I still don’t. My birth control does a pretty effective job, and one day, when we decide it’s time to have children, I can get it removed, but until then, I’m not die hard on all preventative measures.”

“Nikki, whatever makes you feel at ease is what I am willing to do for you… no matter what that means.” David looked longingly into Nikki’s eyes as he parked in the restaurant parking lot. He leaned across the console, pulling Nikki in for a kiss. Her lips still tasted salty from her earlier tears and it crushed him. 

Several days later at work, Hondo walked in on Deacon searching for Jason Matthews. 

“Who’s that?” Hondo inquired. 

“Nikki’s ex-husband…” Deacon said, lost in concentration as he read the prick’s rap sheet. 

“Ex-husband?”

“Yeah, man.” 

“You didn’t tell me she came with all of that baggage… does she still talk to him?”

Hondo’s words struck a nerve in Deacon and he found himself slightly irritated at his teammate. He opened the window that held Matthews’ obituary and slid the laptop Hondo’s way. Hondo’s eyebrows furrowed as he read the article that detailed how the man lost his life. 

“Holy… fucking… shit…” Hondo looked up at Deacon, “I’m so sorry, man.” 

Deacon took the laptop back and scrolled through several mugshots. Most of them were from his marriage to Nikki. 

“She was pregnant too…”

This caught Hondo off guard and Deacon could tell by puzzled expression on the man’s face. 

“That’s what started it all. He raped her, found out she was pregnant halfway through the pregnancy, didn’t want the kid, so tried to kill the kid himself by gutting her. Nikki shot him in the head, but lost so much blood it killed her baby… Her baby girl.” 

Hondo had no words.

“Yeah, I was just as surprised as you are. But you’d never be able to tell it, brother. She’s had to do even more work on herself than I have.” 

“She’s a fighter,” Hondo agreed. “So does she want kids later on?”

Deacon nodded. “She’s on birth control now, but that’s all we use.”

“And how do you feel about that?” 

Deacon appreciated how Hondo always cared about his situation, but ultimately cared the most about him as his SWAT family member. 

“Honestly? She could tell me she’s pregnant right now and I would be just as happy as if it were something we were planning. I’m not scared of it, man.” 

“You know,” Hondo grinned, “You’re gonna marry that girl one day.”