All that was wrong and right with the finale of Soul Eater
Soul Eater and I go a while back now. Back in my first year of university, it, alongside salt and vinegar rice cakes, was the cheese to my chicken. I caught a viewing of it at Supanova that year and it was love at first sight. Every second month I would forego rent and groceries in order to buy the latest collection of it on DVD, and when I discovered the manga and its own separate idiosyncrasies, I was hooked. It was my refuge after tiresome days listening to lectures on Australian literature and studying fricatives, and it was a good friend; funny, charming and demanding little except my doe-eyed attention. Having said that though, and with such weighty expectations, Atsushi Okubo was always going to disappoint me in some way or another when it came to Chapter 113.of his most famous work. In some ways, I was pleasantly surprised; in others, nonplussed or annoyed.
I had a lot of fears about what could happen in SE113, and the first was immediately allayed; that the story would skip several months to years ahead and confirm that Spirit, Sid and their fellows had died on the moon. Thankfully, not the case. "THANK YOU FOR SPARING MY FEELS" I screamed aloud (to the alarm of several onlookers).
With Rachel Boyd and her parents looking on (They still live in Death City after ALL that happened to her??! That's modern parenting for you.), the moon remains blackened, everyone's soul wavelengths are seen to have now been moved to Shibusen. Spirit, apparently forgetting that infidelity is the reason Maka bore a grudge at him in the first place, thinks only of the girls he didn't tap. Uuugh. I was still happy though. I was so happy that I leaped on top of my bed and did the most limb-locked fist pump. I squeed. He was alive. The witches were now vying to be firm allies of Shibusen. In the meantime, Gopher had all the Noahs he could ever dream of and they could now all go and live together on a giant ark. But.. more importantly- Now Spirit could repair his relationship with Maka and everything would be rosy. They saw each other. They said each other's names. There's panels of them running to the same point, and...
AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH MAKA WHAT ARE YOU DOING?????
I wasn't able to feel legitimately sorry for Spirit for long as Maka pulled away from an embrace with Marie and was suddenly staring at her boobs. "Well, Okubo", thought I; "It would be the biggest troll to suddenly make Maka a lesbian, but like the Wii Fit Trainer in SSB, it's too funny not to be mad at." What's this though? A hint at another soul response in Marie? Ooooohhhhhh, what could that be? (We're not stupid, Okubo).
The scene shifts to Kid in what is easily the saddest moment in the entire chapter, as Kid has the awful realisation that he is a patricide-committing murderer (and that he is now effectively saddled with Excalibur for life). The attempt to weave humour into tragedy would have been one that Shakespeare himself would have smiled mirthfully to himself over here, but as with any other 'humour' in tragedy, it was all just too sad. I didn't blame Kid for yelling at him, though in my opinion, Excalibur deserved a lot more than being told to shut up.
Sadly, we don't see Shinigami-sama's funeral (or is it now the man formally known as Shinigami-sama?) As Maka gazes wistfully at the moon, everyone suddenly remembers that Blair exists, and as normal cats do, she's up to her old, useless, lustful tricks. As she straddles a delightfully chaste/frigid Soul, she pulls Maka over to grope a feel and fanficcers rejoice. I wonder if they'll ever get rid of Blair. Imagine her at children's parties.
Now for some book ends! Now Black Star (wait, what happened to his mangled hand and spine?)...and by extension, Kid...have at this point, apparently both  forgotten they are gods and have reverted back to an obsession with...boobies! They got new abilities? Screw them- BOOBS! They developed strong, healthy relationships with their weapons? Nope- BOOBS! They matured beyond recognition and underwent some multi-faceted character development? Fuck that- BOOOOOOOOOOOOBS! But, apparently everyone's obsession with mammary glands is related to Chrona's subconscious desire for maternal love (oh Freud, you convenient plot device, you!) and boob madness will strike everyone (though I still maintain that that last diagram is a picture of a minion's eyes from Despicable Me). On the plus side, at least Tsubaki gets to say something more than Black Star's name.Â
One thing that thankfully hasn't changed about Kid is his neuroticism about symmetry, and that proves true as he is officially enthroned as the new Shinigami-sama (BUT INSTEAD OF A SCYTHE, HE HAS GUNS!! TELL ME THAT'S NOT THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER). The witch alliance is officially decreed and Soul formally recognised as the last Death Scythe. I saw it coming, but it didn't make it any less poignant. No more hunting witches. Everyone exists in harmony (even Free, the kharma houdini). But enough of the seriousness- bam! Piano leg! Everyone dances, and for some inexplicable reason (other than to cram every character possible into one chapter), those pesky Soul fangirls appear. Pfft. You lose, kiddies.
Maka watches Soul play for everyone, and brings to light my next fear- will Soul leave? Or she referring to the fact that he's as spaced out-looking as ever? However, we're not able to ponder long, as Kid and Spirit discover that Stein has actually impregnated a woman without dissecting her- specifically, Marie. I know I thought they were a sweet couple, but now I can't help but shudder at the thought, as it means that mere chapters ago, he threw a pregnant woman up onto the moon (He's going to make a brilliant parent). But I digress. BABIES! STEINIE BABIES!Â
Maka now sits down alone beside her long-suffering weapon friend whilst Black Star apparently slaughters half of Death City. She attempts the closest thing one can get to a heart-to-heart with a guy so uptight and cagey, and learns that despite there being jack-all for him to do there now that he's a Death Scythe, he's re-enrolled at Shibusen as Soul Eater Evans, re-adopting his un-hip surname (If Soul wasn't his real name, I always imagined it to be Stanley. I know I'd want to change my name if I got called that. No offence to any actual Stans out there). I imagine Shibusen will turn into some kind of new-age counselling service for people to come to grips with the fact that they can turn their arms into scimitars. But now- kiss! Haha! Jokes! Instead, it's a warm thank you for the music (and now I have ABBA in my head. Dammit.). It has to be some admission of love, as Maka blushes harder than the collective blushes of everyone who witnessed Soul upskirting her all those chapters ago. D'aaaaw. The strength of their courage and soul resonance might feel like the only thing that has actually developed in 113 chapters thanks to all the boobs, but it's a note that most should feel happy reading.
Did it wrap up absolutely every plot thread? Nope! But we have Soul Eater Not! for that now (and fanfiction), and all I can do is cross all my fingers and toes for more tasty, random snippets of information from it. Oh, and universe- please, please PLEASE- listen to our wants- WE WANT A NEW ANIME OF THE SERIES, PLEASE.
X!Â
