#school pressure

I had one at Monday already man

how many more must I cry this entire year?

Not my first post being about academic pressure….(great intro right)

Anyways, when i joined tumblr i decided that i would be 100% honest, cause like, no one’s gonna read this and recognize me in real life. So, consider this: my public oversharing of LITTERALLY anything that goes on in my mind haha.

Im not even sure that’s the right way to use this app but like, i heard it was an app with blogs and i immediately thought of doggyblog (real ones will know) , so guys I’m just gonna do what i want and if nobody reads this it’s still a great way for me to vent, so its a win in any case.

And on that note, I’m starting of strong with the fucking academic pressure I can’t seem to get away from. I KNOW I’m not the only one feeling that so lets talk about it. Personally, i dont mean to brag but I’ve always been smart, like school was never a problem for me, i used to love it when i was in elementary school, I didn’t like it as much in middle school but I wasn’t struggling with my grades, and in high school even tho it got harder, (due to personal things which i will discuss another time ) i still had a lot of facilities that helped me through it. BUT NOW?!!! First year of college and let me tell you I was NOT ready for this.

I’m in France right, so the universities here are not like the ones i used to see on tv in America. I thought i would end up in some big school, with a huge library like oxford, or Harvard, or all those big names i would always hear about on tv. Well damn, it wasn’t like that at ALL.

Sure my school is big, sure i have way more freedom than i used to have in school, but that’s exactly part of the problem. Being the only girl, in a black household, with immigrant parents….let me tell you its not for the weak. So, when i had that taste of what freedom could be, i just wanted to enjoy it to its fullest. Also, I didn’t get into the field i originally applied to, which only demotivated me more (but with time i ended up liking it). At first, i would skip school, go to the movies instead, see my friends, or when i would eventually go to my lectures, i wouldn’t be paying attention, so to no surprises all those things lead to me failing that first year.

Then, i started to think that maybe I wasn’t as smart as I thought, that I wasn’t capable of pursuing that path and stuff like that. I know those things are all in my head but, i feel lost and like i need to rebuild myself when i dont even know where to start. I never really « learned » to work so I’m lost and i also procrastinate a lot. This is now my second year as a freshman and it feels like its my first year, i feel completely lost, I’m scared to fail again, to disappoint my family and myself, to be left behind while others keep going and stuff. So i guess what I’m tryin to say is that, everyone takes different roads and it isn’t necessarily bad.

I was feeling really low after I failed, but like i said, i have to rebuild myself and i choose to see that as an opportunity to prove to myself that I’m capable of achieving my goals. And if this can make anyone feel better then at least i havent written all that for nothing.

Okay I’m gonna stop now but ill be back with more stories!!

Help Your Kids Manage School Pressure

2022-09-01 12:35:11 Lily Coulter, a 17-year-old high school senior from Charleston, SC, isn’t sure what finally set her off last March. She was at volleyball practice when she suddenly broke down into uncontrollable sobs. It was quite out of character for Coulter, an academic high-achiever, an athlete, and now senior class president. “It all came quickly, but it was built up from 2 weeks of…