#schlaztro

The grumpy guy you avoided at work unless you absolutely needed his help. Stoic, standoffish, pessimistic. And he liked it that way—he enjoyed his own company. But hey, it was only night. He could act it up for the cameras.

Sitting in the stuffy chair under bright ass stage lights. Dressed in a nice-ish outfit. Better than the thrifted garments he typically wore.

A white dress shirt tucked into some wine red dress pants. A few buttons undone at the top. Schlatt tried to ignore the live studio audience. Waiting for the countdown that would proceed his introduction to the people. His television debut.

He didn't have to wait long. Adorning a Cheshire Cat grin as the cameraman swooped the camera over to him. "Welcome to the show Jschlatt. The audience seems to love you already, but I'm pretty certain they also want to know what you're looking to get out of this…experience," the host used a conspiratorial tone. Like they were old friends, gossiping away. "What everyone is looking for…love. A partner to suck the marrow out of life with," the words felt like sharp knives—lies. It got a small chuckle from the host.

"Why, aren't you a catch! Let's meet the lucky contestants." Like the typical dating game show, Schlatt couldn't see them. Separated by a small wall. But he knew, that just like him, that they were all sitting one-by-one in equally uncomfortable chairs.

The cliche question had been addressed to all three of the contestants. What would the perfect first date look like? A softball question that wished for the details of a location and event. Aztrosist was up—contestant #1. It didn't bother her, sitting as cool as a cucumber in her chair. One leg crossed over the other at the knee. Going the romantic route in hopes to win the audience's favor. "Probably a late night meal at the ol' Waffle House. Some time around…say 2 or 3 in the morning. Take a leisurely stroll afterwards, see if the dreary sky has any stars to offer."

The host went on to the next contestant. "Contestant #2?" The immediate shift to the next contestant didn't allow Schlatt time to point out the anachronism. Waffle House was no longer in business, sadly.

"Something adventurous, more on the scenic side. Go somewhere deep in the mountains. A hike or a kayaking trip," Mikasacus answered, hoping the answer didn't come across as creepy. Having no intents on murdering Schlatt. Would cause Mikasacus more trouble than it was worth, really. Plus managing to get on one of these game shows would give him the leg up to appear on the potential other shows. He could get his clout that way. "But not too deep in the woods. Obviously, we just met. If you makes you feel more comfortable, we can make it a group outing. Intermingle the friend group."

"And last but not least, contestant #3? What's your perfect idea for a first date?" The host glanced out at the crowd, continuing on as they noted the audience's energy had remained steady. Stable.

"Would probably settle for a night in, cook you a decent meal. Something hearty—still pretty cold outside, damn near froze my balls off…might watch a movie together, your pick. Or some crafts," not that Apandah had the funds but he was good at scrounging around for supplies. It was a shocker what you could create with a little cardboard and makeshift glue.

The host turned to Schlatt, wondering what he thought of the contestants. "So, did any of their responses manage to ensnare you, Schlatt?"

One of the contestants did manage to ensnare him. It was the end of the show and now Schlatt had to pick. He knew there was a high likelihood that they'd go on the date set up by the show and then never see each other again. Going their separate ways as their lives pulled apart. Like the same poles of a magnet. But Schlatt couldn't help but hope that they at least remain friends. Truly with any of them. 

"So who's the lucky contestant?" the host reiterated for the fourth time that evening.

"Host, I'll take whoever's beyond that first lucky door. Contestant #1."

"You heard the man. Let's see contestant #1." Aztrosist took that as her cue to walk on out. Smoothing her dress as she went. Walking up to Schlatt, she held out a hand for him to shake. A bit taken aback when Schlatt brings her hand up to kiss the back of it.

"And your name?" the host held out the microphone. 

"Aztrosist," she answered, gingerly taking back her hand.