#schlagi

Ugh, I don't even know. I mean I've known for months that this would be the end, and I'm okay with it. What really fucked me up are the reactions of the two brothers after they played their final song.

I mean... This is a grown up man, who just realized that this was the last show for a while. And seeing someone who wrote such important lines, sung such important songs, who has been sort of my older brother for years, that just fucked me up so hard.

And Fabi was even worse. Fabi is an actor, we have seen him cry on screen, but this...

...this was no acting. And I've hardly ever wanted to hug someone as much as him in that moment. For well 2/3 of his life he's been in that band; it must be really hard to give that up.

And all these feeling just get mixed up with the absolute disbelief and euphoria of having seen Schlagi play with them. I mean, I don't expect anyone to understand what this means to me, but just... SCHLAGI FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!

So I'm just generally confused. I'm sad that it's over, determined to show myself that I can do it (life) without them, prove that the lessons they've been teaching us with their songs are valuable and helpful, I am happy for them to have the chance to do what they want without being chained to a band and fans that constantly want new content, I worry about how they are taking it (Jo and Fabi are very active on social media, but are they nostalgic or happy that they have so much support, and Mäx has only posted one picture and is completely quiet, is he okay?), absolutely ecstatic about having gotten the chance to see all four of them share a stage, and grateful for being part of such a supportive fandom.

That's what yesterday felt like when the Killerpilze announced a special guest, and on stage walked the fourth founding member, who left the band in 2007.

That's as if Ryan Ross would rejoin Panic! but without an announcement, just walk up on stage during a concert. But better.

I never even considered it a possibility to see all four of them share a stage, yet here we are.

Fabi (very well hidden by fog and lights), Jo, Schlagi, and Mäx

So what do they do, who  do they invite as a special guest? I never thought it would be a possiblity to see Schlagi, and of course i never considered the possiblity of all four of them on stage together!