#sceff

Disclaimer: I have changed certain things from the series and the book regarding Hannah’s suicide and what she leaves behind. There are no tapes in this story.

Enjoy! 

1 month later

Over the span of a month Alex and Scott had become very close friends. This was at first shocking to almost everyone who knew them but once they were able to witness how well the two got along everyone understood why the two were such good friends.

Alex and Scott walked into Liberty High together and made their way to greet their friends. Justin looked up the moment he heard Alex laugh and gathered his bag and textbooks before darting for the door, slamming into Scott’s shoulder in the process.

“Dude, What the fuck?” Scott yelled after him.

Justin simply raised his middle finger without looking back and walked out the door.

“What the fuck is wrong with him?” Scott asked.

Alex shrugged as they reached Zack.

“What crawled up his ass?” Scott asked again.

Zack shrugged his shoulders and quickly replied, “he always seems to be having a hard time these days.”

“Right,” Alex said.

“Yo,” Zack ruffled Alex’s hair, “you two coming over tonight?”

“Yeah, who else is coming?”

“Just a couple of guys from the basketball team.”

“Sure,” Scott replied and nudged Alex’s shoulder, “we’re in, aren’t we?”

Alex nodded and pulled out his phone to check his instagram feed. He scrolled mindlessly until a photo that Justin had posted the night before came up; in the picture Justin was wearing a white t-shirt, his varsity jacket, and a blue snapback that Alex was certain belonged to him at some point.

Scott noticed that Alex was no longer paying attention to the conversation and decided to sneak up behind him. “You should just talk to him if you’re so in love with the guy.” He whispered in Alex’s ear, effectively scaring the life out of him.

“Fuck off, Scott,” Alex shoved the other boy away and began walking to class, half-expecting him to follow. “It’s not that easy.”

“I think it is.”

By the time 8:00 o’clock came around Alex was driving to Zack’s house when he received a text message. He waited for the next red light to quickly read it and type out a reply. Scott was letting him know that he may be late or not go at all. Alex sighed and continued to drive until he finally reached Zack’s house.

Stepping inside Alex felt out of place; Zack was always kind to him and they got along very well but somehow being in his house makes him feel smaller than usual. Although Zack’s house is big, it’s not the size that makes Alex uncomfortable; maybe it’s the way Zack always seems too stressed and worried about everything staying in its rightful place that makes Alex uneasy.

Alex was wearing a light gray sweater and had tossed his black denim jacket over his left shoulder; he pulled on the sleeves until his fingers were covered as he walked into the living room where he could hear the other boys playing video games and their loud laughter.

Almost everyone in the basketball and baseball team seemed to be present; everyone except Scott and Bryce. Some of the guys were in the kitchen sipping on whatever expensive liquor Zack’s parents could afford. Others played poker at the dining table and a few sat on the couch playing video games. Alex noticed a figure sitting on the steps leading to the backyard, behind a large glass sliding door. Alex quickly recognized him.

He decided to look for Zack to say hi, Zack was slightly tipsy and offered Alex a drink from his own red solo cup. Alex shook his head and pushed the boy’s hand away.

“Scott not coming tonight?”

“He said he might not make it.”

“He alright?”

“Yeah.”

They engaged in a few more minutes of small talk before Alex made his way to the sliding door. The boy was still there. He slowly slid the door open and stepped outside. The cold air caused him to shiver slightly as he sat on the steps next to Justin, who was currently taking a drag from a cigarette.

“You smoke cigarettes now?” Alex asked.

“What do you care?” Justin said. He dropped the cigarette and put it out with the toe of his boot.

“Right.” Alex said. He grabbed his jacket and offered it to Justin as he looked at the boy currently only wearing a thin black t-shirt. “It’s cold out here.”

Justin shook his head and looked straight ahead at the distance. “Then you should wear it.”

“Seems like you need it more.” Alex placed it over Justin’s shoulders and sat sideways to look at the other boy. “It was yours anyway. You get to keep it.”

Justin turned his head slightly to look at Alex. He bit his lip, nodded his head, and quietly said, “thanks.”

Alex had been so busy trying to avoid Justin for the past month and a half that he didn’t notice he wasn’t the only one hurting. Justin had deep dark circles under his eyes, his cheeks looked sunken in, he didn’t style his hair anymore, he usually kept to himself, and had apparently also picked up a smoking habit.

“Are you okay, Jus” he asked cautiously.

Justin looked back at him almost incredulously then shrugged his shoulders indifferently.

“You don’t look too well.”

Justin huffed out a laugh, “thanks.”

Alex smiled and bumped his shoulder. “My balls will freeze soon so c’mon,” he said and stood up, “let’s go inside.”

Alex extended out his hand for Justin to take while the other boy simply looked back at him as if he had grown a second head.

“Do you need me to pick you up and get you inside? Because I’ll have you know that I’ve been working out and can totally do it.”

Justin laughed and stood up. He reached for Alex’s hand and interlaced their fingers together. They both walked back inside hand in hand, Justin looked around ready to snap at anyone who dared say anything but no one seemed to pay them any attention.

They found an empty couch and sat together as they talked about anything they could think of. Justin’s laughter filled the small bubble they had created and Alex felt a sense of pride he hadn’t felt in a long time. They talked and laughed most of the night until Justin suddenly looked up and saw Scott approaching them. His smile immediately fell and Alex looked back to see what had upset him.

“Hello, boys.” Scott greeted them.

Justin nodded his head and stood up; Alex looked up as he properly put on the denim jacket and made his way out the front door.

“Did I interrupt something?” Scott asked.

Alex let out a deep, frustrated sigh and rubbed his face with his hands, “I don’t even know anymore.”

“You could go after him, y’know?”

“What’s the point?”

“Just let him know that whatever he thinks is going on isn’t actually happening.”

Alex looked at Scott and smiled slightly before standing up and going out to start his car. He drove around for a little while and eventually found him near the exit of Zack’s neighborhood. Alex parked the car and walked quickly to catch up with Justin.

“What the hell do you want, Standall?” Justin asked sounding bored.

“Why did you just leave?”

“You should go back before Scott comes after you.”

“Why do you care what he does? Or what I do for that matter?”

“I don’t”

“Really?”

Justin turned around, causing Alex to almost crash against him as he had been following him closely, “really.”

“Good,” Alex shoved Justin away. “You didn’t care before, why should now be any different?”

Justin looked hurt by his words.

“Oh, don’t give me that face. It was you who cheated on me and fucked everything up.”

Justin looked taken aback. He exhaled and ran his hands through his face and hair. He walked to sit on the curb.

Alex followed him and sat beside him, “sorry.”

Justin looked up and Alex saw the tears pooling at his eyes, threatening to spill down his cheeks. “You’re right. It’s all my fault”

Alex didn’t respond.

“You look happy.” Justin whispered and the tears finally rolled down his face, “happier than when we were together.”

“I am happy.” Alex looked up and stared at the night sky. He felt the cold seeping through the thin fabric of his sweater but at the moment nothing mattered but themselves and the stars above.

“I’m glad he’s making you happy.” Justin sounded resigned as he uttered those words and Alex could hear the pain in his voice as it cracked slightly.

“I am happy,” Alex repeated. “But it’s not what you think. There’s nothing going on between me and Scott. We’re just friends, so stop looking at him like he’s done something terrible and being a dick to him all the time.”

“Sorry,” Justin whispered. “I wouldn’t blame you if there was something going on.”

“Are you saying you like Scott Reed for me?” Alex bumped his knee against the other boy’s thigh.

Justin laughed even though he was still crying, “you deserve to be happy.”

“So do you.”

Alex offered Justin a ride home; at first he denied but eventually gave in and told Alex he was staying at some cheap motel off I-84.

They drove in silence, peacefully listening to old rock ballads on a random station. Justin anxiously tapped his finger against his thigh and periodically snuck glances at the blond boy beside him. Alex looked good. He hadn’t gotten as skinny as he had and Justin was glad for that; yet when Justin took the time to really study the younger boy’s features he noticed that there was something intriguing about his face. His eyes no longer shone as bright as they had before, his smile looked the same but the wrinkles that usually appeared at the corner of his eyes were absent. Maybe Justin wasn’t the only broken one after all.

Justin remembers how hard Alex was on himself after Hannah Baker’s suicide. He blamed himself for not noticing soon enough to do something to save his friend. Hannah appeared normal until the very end, no one would suspect how bad things were in her mind because that’s the way she wanted it. Alex had made mistakes in the past but they didn’t make him the monster he thought himself to be. Alex had looked hollowed out, void of emotion at the time. He was just empty. Justin hadn’t seen that in a long time but tonight he did. Alex wasn’t okay. He looked just as empty.

Alex was supposed to take exit 43; the motel was only a couple of minutes away. Instead he pulled over on the side of the highway.

Justin looked at him questioningly.

“Let’s go somewhere else instead,” he suggested skeptically. Then he started talking and it was as if he couldn’t stop himself from trying to find a reasonable excuse for why he wanted Justin to spend time with him before he went home. “I don’t really wanna go home right now and I had already told my dad I was gonna stay at Zack’s even though I never really intended to. It’s okay if you don’t wanna go. I can still drop you off, I just thought that maybe talking would be good; but like i said you really don’t have to come if you don-”

“We can go wherever you want.” Justin interrupted, eyes never leaving Alex who simply nodded and started driving again.

They ended up at the beach. It was empty apart from a homeless man lying in the sand while he clutched a bottle of whiskey. At first Alex didn’t say anything and Justin didn’t push him to speak. They just walked together, side by side, until they came across a lifeguard tower. Alex climbed up first, he decided he needed to be higher and made his way up to the seemingly unsafe roof. Justin followed after him a moment later.

“Why are we here?” he asked.

Alex shrugged his shoulders and pointed at the sea, “it’s beautiful.”

“So you brought me here to appreciate the ocean’s beauty?”

Alex hummed in approval.

“It is pretty nice.” Justin agreed.

Alex smiled and laid on his back to look at the night sky, “I used to love going to the beach with Peter and my dad when I was little.”

“Really? What was that like?”

“My dad would go with a couple of his friends and he always brought us along. He never let us go in the water alone even though Peter always said he could take care of the both of us. He always told Peter he was sure that he could but he just wanted to swim with us as well. My mom was always busy at the hospital so she rarely ever went with us. Still, they’re all good memories.”

“Sounds nice. At least your dad was around to do those things.” Justin said sadly. He wasn’t upset that other children got to experience nice things with their parents, he was glad that Alex was among them. “If I ever have a kid, I’d bring them to the beach.”

Alex wanted to reply but all he could do was close his eyes and he could almost envision a future with Justin, a kid, and a god perhaps; having a picnic at that same beach but the memory was short lived as he instead said, “we need to talk about Scott.”

“Uh,” Justin said and stood up. He jumped down from the roof onto the creaky wood planks that made up the lifeguard tower. “No, we don’t”

Alex stood up and followed after him, “yeah, we do and we’re gonna talk about him right now.”

Justin huffed out a breath and jumped to the sand. He began to walk away and was stopped by Alex’s slim fingers wrapped around his bicep.

“It’s about Jeff,” Alex whispered.

Justin slumped his shoulders and exhaled, “What does Jeff have to do with anything? I thought we agreed not to bring any of that up.”

“Scott thinks Jeff was drunk.”

“So? Everyone thinks that.”

“It’s not true.”

“It’s not up to us to say anything, Alex.”

“He hates himself,” Alex spoke softly. “Scott hates himself because he thinks he let his best friend down. And he’s angry because he thinks Jeff lied. You and I know Jeff didn’t lie.”

“Alex,” Justin sighed his name as a plea for the other boy to drop the subject. He didn't.

“Scott needs to know the truth.”

Alex’s tone was firm. At that moment Justin understood that he wasn’t being asked for permission or even for his opinion. A decision had been made and nothing he could ever say would persuade the other boy otherwise.

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

Hope you guys enjoyed. I will upload the end soon!

If you haven’t read parts 1 & 2, here are the links to both:

PART 1

PART 2

Okay, I’m giving this a go, I have never written headcannons before so I don’t know if it’s right; either way, I hope this is at least close to what you were looking for.

Scott and Jeff met in high school when they both joined the baseball team and instantly got along very well

At first the would only hang out at school with the rest of the jocks until one day Jeff saw Scot walking to school on his way there and decided to give him a ride

Morning rides to Dunkin Donuts (because Scott isn’t into the hype about Starbucks) and then to school brought them closer together.

When Jeff first got a girlfriend Scott was apprehensive to hang out with them because he didn’t want to third wheel so they didn’t really get along

They had a rivalry going on and low key competed for Jeff’s attention despite Jeff’s obliviousness.

When they broke up, Scott was there to support Jeff every step of the way.

They started hanging out more; going to professional games together, a few concerts, and always made sure to go see the latest horror film to critique it

They categorize them as “plain bad” “unintentionally bad” “intentionally bad and hilarious” and “actually good horror movies”

Any time the jocks threw a party, they’d always be seen together throughout the whole night

Some of the other guys continuously tried to set them up with other people and didn’t understand why they refused every proposition.

Sometimes, the two of them opted to go on late night drives through the city instead of hanging out at Bryce’s and it wasn’t long until they got together

Jeff was the one to bring up the subject although Scott was very close to doing it himself

They agreed to take it slow and not put pressure on their relationship as they figured out what it all meant and see where it lead from there

When they’re in public Jeff normally just calls Scott “Scotty” but when they’re alone, or with a small group of friends he’d call him “baby” because he enjoyed seeing Scott light up and blush at the nickname, despite it being unoriginal

Scott calls Jeff “babe” or “handsome.”

After a few weeks of going on dates and spending quality time together the two decided to put a label on their relationship and came out as boyfriends

Their friends and family were very supportive.

I’m very sorry for the delay, but here is part two of the fic that still has no name (finally).

Disclaimer: I changed certain aspects of how things took place in the original story but I hope you still enjoy it.

2 weeks later

The weather forecast hadn’t mentioned the snow storm would start so early in the morning and Alex found himself stuck out in the cold after a doctor’s visit. The storm was beginning to pick up strength and it was nearly impossible to see. Not only that, but Alex was simply wearing a pair of distressed jeans, white vans, and a white hoodie that felt too wet and heavy already; he was freezing cold and was trying his hardest not to slip on the slippery pavement and risking an injury.

It was after he almost gave up and decided to sit on the sidewalk and wait to be consumed by snow that he heard the beeping of a car and then someone yelling, “get in, loser. We’re going shopping.”

Alex recognized the voice and rolled his eyes while letting out a deep sigh, “really, Scott? Mean Girls?”

“It’s a classic.” the other boy replied as he followed Alex closely in his car. “Seriously though, dude. You’re gonna freeze out here.”

“Even as I wait for my inevitable demise I can’t get away from dicks like you.” Alex muttered and rolled his eyes.

“What?”

Alex almost laughed at Scott’s confused face while he tried to figure out what he had said but decided to walk around the car and get in the passenger side, “thought you were here to run me over.”

“You really think I would kick you when you’re down?”

Alex did not say a word and instead opted to give him one of his many sassy faces that would convey just how much he really thought Scott was a huge dick, I mean the guy seems very fond of Bryce so there’s very little room for improvement as far as Alex is concerned.

“Really, Standall? I’m not that bad.” Scott stated firmly though he seemed slightly skeptical. “I promise you will return home safely but for now I’m gonna take you to my house because it’s closer and I don’t think I’ll make it back home in this weather if I drop you off first. So put your seatbelt on and show some gratitude to the man that just selflessly saved your life.”

Alex rolled his eyes but did as he was told and nodded his head, “my hero.”

“Less sarcasm would be better but it’s a good start.” Scott winked and started to drive home.

The drive to his house was only ten minutes but it felt like an hour in the awkward silence. Scott and Alex had hung out together in the past but never by themselves. Alex initially liked him and he can’t remember when everything started to go wrong and the disagreements between the two began. All he knows is that one day they had been hanging out at Zack’s house, playing video games and eating pizza, and the next day they couldn’t stand each other.

Scott parked his car in his driveway and led Alex to his front door. When Alex stepped into the other boy’s house he was surprised by how organized everything seemed. He had expected Scott’s home to be a mess just like the boy himself and then felt silly because he himself was a mess and everything at home seemed in perfect order. Scott led Alex to his bedroom and began looking for clothes that may fit Alex.

Scott’s room wasn’t very extraordinary, his walls were bare except for a bulletin board with dozens of polaroid photos. Alex walked over to them and was startled when Scott’s voice ordered him not to touch them. Alex looked at the boy and saw him fiddling with a ring on his finger.

“You okay?” he asked?

“You can get changed in the bathroom across the hall.” Scott replied and handed his his clothes.

Alex took them and went to change. He hadn’t realized he had forgotten how cold he really was until he began peeling off the layers of clothes he had been wearing that were clinging to his skin and the shivering started. Scott’s clothes were soft and warm and Alex was grateful when the shivers stopped. He picked up his wet clothes and made his way back into Scott’s room to find the other boy standing in front of the bulletin board looking at the photos.

“You seemed a lot nicer back then.” Alex teased.

Scott let out a sad laugh before turning to Alex and telling him to fuck off. He looked at the photos again and ran a finger across the writing under one of the photos, “they were better times.”

“So now you’re just a dick for no reason?” Alex smiled and nudged Scott’s shoulder with his own.

“You really think I’m that bad?” Scott laughed.

“Nah,” Alex replied and sat on the bed. “If Jeff was your friend he must’ve seen something great in you.”

Scott turned around and looked stunned and sad at once; Alex wasn’t sure why his words had upset the boy but he couldn’t help but feel guilty.

“I’ll put your clothes in the dryer.”

Scott’s voice sounded strained and Alex didn’t want to push his luck and press the boy for answers so he simply nodded his head and handed over his clothes.

It took Scott a while to get back to his room and when he did he was carrying two cans of coke and pizza rolls. “Hungry?” he asked.

“Starving.” Alex replied.

Scott set the food and drinks down on his bedside table and reached under his bed for his laptop, “what do you wanna watch?”

“Anything’s fine.” Alex said.

They settled for Salad Fingers on YouTube and watched all ten episodes before Scott got restless and began tossing his phone in the air and catching it.

“Can I ask you something?” Alex asked, breaking the silence that had fallen over them.

Scott nodded his head yes.

“Were you and Jeff together?”

Scott hadn’t been expecting that and nearly let his phone fall on his face. “What the fuck, Alex!”

“How do you live with it?” Alex whispered.

“What?” Scott sat up immediately and confusedly looked at the other boy.

“When I first moved here, “ Alex started, “I was trying to run away from my problems.”

“What do you mean?”

“I had this boyfriend back then, his family didn’t know he liked guys so they thought he was getting math help after school. We were young and thought we had everything figured out. One afternoon he told his parents that he was gonna stay over at my house to work on a group project. They objected at first but eventually gave in. We weren’t at my house though; instead we were hanging out with some friends in an old, abandoned barn. I knew my dad would be upset if I didn’t get home at eight so I told Carlos it was time to head back; he decided he wanted to stay anyway and asked me to stay with him a bit longer.” Alex closed his eyes and a single tear ran down his face.

“Why are you telling me this?” Scott asked.

Alex took a deep breath and continued, “we had a fight because he said I was too much of a pussy to think for myself and had to always ‘follow daddy’s rules.’ I was so angry; I told him he was the pussy who had to lie to his parents everyday because he was too scared of them, which is especially ironic because I was too terrified to tell my family as well. He was obviously mad and stayed with the others.”

“Then what happened?” Scott asked.

“He never made it back.” Alex whispered and wiped the tears away. “He called me some time after midnight to ask if it was okay to stay at my house because his parents would kill him if he showed up so late and drunk. I was still on the phone to him when I heard a loud crash. Turns out there had been a fire there a while back and the floor he was standing on collapsed and he died almost instantly from blunt force trauma. He died alone and there was nothing I could do or say to make it right.”

“You know that’s not your fault, right?”

“His parents didn’t see it that way. He was supposed to be at my house and I was supposed to be with him. I failed him and he died.”

“Alex, yo-”

“Everyone in town found out everything. A rumor was started that there had been foul play and that I was responsible so people started sending me threats and vandalizing our property. Everyone loved Carlos; he was smart and funny and I wasn’t. They were saying I’d pushed him because I wanted to hide the fact that I was a perv obsessed with a boy who never returned my feelings and that I would get away with it because my dad is a cop. They were just rumors but I couldn’t sleep, or eat, or shower, or even talk anymore. Eventually we decided that moving was best and here I am. Look how great that turned out for me.”

Scott was quiet for a while before finally saying in a voice so low that Alex wondered if the boy had truly spoken at all, “Jeff was everything to me.”

“How do you live with it?” Alex asked again, “I wake up every morning and I hate myself, and I’m angry, and all I wanna do is scream because I get to wake up while Carlos is buried ten feet under.”

“Most days I don’t know how I do it, to be honest.” Scott sighed and rubbed his face with his palms. “I thought my parents would disown me if they found out. Jeff always said I was overreacting and he was right. My parents knew all along and when we told them they were happy I was with Jeff. I was scared to be out at school so I begged him not to say anything; still, we were happy. Then Jessica’s party happened.”

Alex didn’t need to look at Scott to know he was trying to hold back tears. So Alex continued to look ahead and staring at the photographs scattered on the bulletin board and listened to the other boy talk.

“We had an argument that day because I was jealous of Clay.” Scott smiled sadly, “I was mad because he was spending a lot of time with him and I felt like I wasn’t seeing Jeff as much anymore. He said I was overthinking things like usual and that Clay was just tutoring him so he could stay on the team. I knew he was right, he and Clay were just friends but I wanted to hurt him because I felt ignored and neglected so I ignored him all night; and when he asked why I was being an ass I asked him why he cared anyway. It’s not like we were a real couple that would last. I knew I had hurt him and at the time I didn’t care.”

Scott began sobbing and Alex did nothing but sit next to him and listen to him cry.

“He found me at some point when I was with Justin and asked if I wanted to join him on a beer run. I said I didn’t wanna go anywhere with him and told him to leave me alone. Justin asked him if he was good to drive and he said he was. He said he hadn’t drank more than a beer hours ago. He asked once again and I told him to leave already. He lied. He had been drinking. He had been drinking and he decided to go anyway.

“So the last time I saw him I was a dick to him and Jeff left and died a horrific death, and he was alone, and he died not knowing how much I loved him. He died thinking I didn’t care about him. So every morning I wake up and I wish it was me who died that night.”

“Scott...” Alex whispered.

“Life is so unfair y’know.” Scott cried and clutched the ring around his finger. “Why do I get to wake up every morning and be alive when Jeff is dead? If anyone deserved to live it was him. He had so much to live for; so much to give to this piece of shit world and look where he’s now! I should’ve been there with him when it happened.”

“Both of you would be dead now.”

“It’d be a hell of a lot better than this. If I had been with him maybe I could’ve done something, or I could’ve been the one driving, or anything. If I wasn’t such an asshole Jeff would still be alive.”

“Scott.”

“I would give anything to trade places with him.”

“I know.”

Scott looked at the younger boy, nodded his head, and stood up to go to the bathroom. They didn’t talk about it anymore. Alex closed his eyes and thought back to the letter Hannah Baker had left behind after committing suicide. Only a couple of people knew the contents of that letter. Hannah had made copies and one was slipped in Alex’s locker the Friday before it all happened. In that letter Hannah described what happened the night Jeff died and what the police report said was far from the truth.

When Scott returned to his bedroom it was as if the conversation hadn’t happened. They decided to play video games until Scott’s parents returned. They boy helped Scott’s parents make dinner and Alex called his father letting him know that he was at a friend’s house and would be staying over because of the harshness of the storm.

PART 1