#scaredtogrowup

Annebelle

I realized a couple days ago that I only have a little less than 2 months left with everyone I love before I move out. This is such a scary thought to me, because i can’t imagine my life without them. As far back as I can remember they have always been down the street whenever I wanted to see them.  Even if I didn’t see them, the fact that they were so close made it easier to deal. Heck all the memories I have all have them in it. What the Heck am I going to do without them?!  In 2 months I will be 6 hours and 380 miles away from all of them. Shit is getting real.  

Sometimes I think about becoming a writer for my career, but then I think..."what if what I write isn't that great?" And then I probably wont get Paid well as much as I would be with going to college for computers. And well, I'm good at computers. But I'm just worried about going back to school, I worry all the time about if I would enjoy college as much. I want to go. Looking at my cousin, she has probably the best college life there is. She goes to kutztown, Has great friends, her roommate is like her best friend, she's easy to get a long with, has a boyfriend who treats her with respect and they're perfect together...why can't I be more like her? I wish I would have applied and put effort into going to college like everyone else in high school..

I've been seriously thinking a lot about it lately. NC or IL? Gah...I hate making decisions. I've just got to pray about it, that's all I know how to do. I honestly think that going away for school, ESPECIALLY CHICAGO, would be a really great experience for me. But I'd have to take a year off of school to do it...which I'm not too worried about. Ahh, decisions decisions decisions.