#sca-ji

commission work of yuki minakami i did for someone over twitter ♡

Official "Lovers ~Koi ni Ochitara...~" (PC) [NSFW 18+] wallpaper featuring a special illustration of Rie Kawai by SCA-JI. Non-wallpaper version of the art:

CW: open discussions of Trauma, Suicide, SA and Incest

I read a visual novel. I am going to talk about it. I am going to write about it in this essay. The essay starts now.

Please.

Enjoy.

Wonderful Everyday, or Diskontinuierliches Dasein, or Subarashiki Hibi, commonly referred to as SubaHibi, was written by SCA-Ji, illustrated by several artists and released in 2010 to massive critical acclaim. Before I get to the premise and conceit, before I acknowledge the legacy, before I even get to gush about that gorgeous, cigarette smoking, Goth lady that instantly stole my heart, I simply must compliment the presentation: it is an aesthetically immaculate visual novel. A nostalgic canvas made of softer, ethereal hues and stylized character designs, inviting yet weirdly off-putting, dreamlike yet grounded in some sort of a everyday setting... a Wonderful Everyday, if you will. A familiar reality that feels ever so slightly distorted, uncanny, foreboding. It's as if I have been transported to a world, a time and place, that looks like the anime adaptation of a Key visual novel by way of Serial Experiments Lain. I find myself yearning for this very specific kind of Psycho-Horror Moe visual identity. It reminds me of the things I used to like, it makes me want to experience them anew, even if I can never recapture that feeling.

Wait, why are my eyes wet?

I actually knew next to nothing about SubaHibi before my time with it. I'm aware it's generally regarded as a genre-defining masterpiece, it might have some horror of the mind-bending variety and it's technically a remake of a much older title which was also considered a genre-defining masterpiece in its day.

As such, when I booted it up and all that greeted me was a simple, white clouded sky background with no music and no sound, I was filled with dread. This was an insidiously understated, eerie menu and the diegesis was purposefully hiding its true nature from me. It's one of Those Games, uh?

Let's play along then.

Part 1: A Dream of Tribadism

I guess I was not prepared for this to be a Harem scenario, going all in with the typical high jinks and tropes. There is clearly something darker lurking under the surface but, as far as the first few hours were concerned, I had been Tenchi Muyo'd! And I was loving it too! My enjoyment was immeasurably helped by the fact the focal point of the cute girls' affection, the protagonist and POV character, was the aforementioned cigarette-smoking, Goth lady. That's right! This is a Yuri Harem and it's completely unhinged! The horny Lesbian VN of all time!

Thus, I met Yuki Minakami.

Her impeccable presentation, her frilly dress, her stylish choker, her unusual brand of smoke, her love of rooftops, classic literature and mental soliloquies, all of that and more made her an instantly iconic protagonist. I was hopelessly smitten. She's almost too good to be true.

Her cool and aloof demeanor belies a quintessential Harem protagonist personality, clueless and oblivious to every possible romantic cue to an apocalyptic degree. Paired with the resident Tsundere, we get an Irresistible Force versus Immovable Object dynamic. However, since she's not the orthodox main character (as in, a boy), the trope is cleverly reframed as the struggle of a closeted gay woman yet to get past the 'but we're all girls' mental blockade. It's a clever subversion to an otherwise tired archetype - and it's hot as Hell, might I add.

It's also, possibly, untrue.

I appreciate what SubaHibi has done here, establishing an idyllic yet disquieted world, making me fall in love with its characters, their interpersonal chemistry, their comedy routines and heartfelt moments, their wholesome and intensely erotic gay sex, and everything in-between. As such, when it's time for the "real game" to start and move away from this "subjective reality", it hit a little harder and a little weirder. Part of the reason why has to do with the manner by which The Change occurred. There was no sudden revelation, nothing as predictably gauche or boorish as that. The game opted for a more elegant approach, slowly but methodically sprinkling its meta-textual elements all throughout the diegesis, forcing you to stir and become lucid. They eventually coalesced into a bizarre yet organic shift. You, the reader, are given the time needed to pack your emotional bags as you follow Yuki (and a girl named Zakuro) on the Literary Reference train ride to the world beyond the Northern Cross - I promise, it made sense in context. It's not scary but it is morose and melancholic.

Too melancholic.

I pegged this VN as one of Those Games (the meta-fictional, game within a game variety) right at the start and I was not necessarily wrong about that assertion. However, unlike many of the titles that were obviously inspired by it, Wonderful Everyday does not come from a place of snarky, sneering self-commentary. It clearly loves itself and the medium as a whole. It carries a big legacy on its back.

Its strong and soft back.

It viewed the tired tropes of Harem scenarios as a means to earnestly explore sensuality and sexuality, its well-rounded characters purposefully acted the part of anime stereotypes because it's fun and funny. It is precisely because SubaHibi is so sincerely written that The Change leaves a mark on your psyche. The idea that the fiction you really came to enjoy has to end will always feel sad. That is true for everything you have ever loved in this finite life of ours. If nothing else, that "open ending" captures the inherent depression of having to return to Reality after immersing yourself in a good story, book, etcetera. The dream felt real yet it was not.

... The External World might not be what was advertised. This is merely the prologue, after all. It is but a piece of broken glass coming off the cracks of a larger window. On that note, you have better get used to the fancy aphorisms because this game sure loves its philosophical musings!

Part 2: The End Sky

So, structurally speaking, SubaHibi re-tells the same story from the point of view of multiple main characters, all of which extremely unreliable in their narrations, with Reality and Delusions melding together in a cryptic dècoupage. Think Akira Kurosawa's Rashomon if it were written by Mamoru Oshii or David Lynch. There is a general narrative outline about the formation of a high school Doomsday cult span-off from an Internet forum following a series of student suicides, which culminates with a mass "Return to the End Sky" ceremony on the eve of the so-called final day, July 20th 2012. The cult is run by this (potentially closeted trans) Evangelion twink named Takuji Mamiya. His POV is... harrowing, to say the least.

Chapter 1 focuses on Yuki's perspective as she attempts to investigate these peculiar events whilst chapter 2 takes us on the absolute wild ride that is Takuji's brain meat. Visions of cosmic horrors, celestial warfare and penis packing magical girls abound. On its face, the text can be read like a proper descent to madness: the slow degrade of a person's mind as a combination of fear, paranoia, uncertainty compounded with past traumas brings them closer to a breaking point. It's psychological horror in the purest sense. However, the more you read and the more points of view you may compare, the more some weirdly specific commonalities and wildly incongruous elements begin to emerge - more so than you might expect. We are drifting farther and farther away from that wholesome lesbian Harem prologue...

I miss it already.

Unsurprisingly, this VN gets aggressively bizarre and psychedelic (of the LSD kind) but there's usually an obvious signaler for when things become more mind-bender-y. The game switches from classic dialogue boxes to an old sound novel presentation, with the text scrolling on screen.

It's a simple yet effective use of its own format that communicates the change to the audience, providing an anchor for their reading experience... That way, when it breaks the rules of engagement, it can blindside you with the most baffling, preposterous sequences imaginable. There are two types of weird segments, those what can be identified through context and obvious meta-textual tampering, and those that are so tonally irreconcilable from the rest of the diegesis they feel akin to a prank at our expense. This applies to H-scenes as well. The perfect example of the latter would be the entire Public Indecency Incest Bicycle Rider Sexual Liberation Incident. An increasingly bewildering series of events told from a sudden, surprising viewpoint and matter-of-factly presented by the format. I could not believe what I was seeing.

SubaHibi devilishly fabricates its own rules in order to instill expectations and familiarity on the reader's part, only to slap them away when the moment is right, leaving us in a state of perplexity that matches whatever the characters within the fiction are going through. Once again, Reality and Delusions meld together in a cryptic découpage. Is there actually a game within a game or is the (flaunted) meta-text just a red herring feeding on my paranoia? Is this visual novel much dumber or much smarter than it looks? Am I being punk'd by F*tanari porn? In short, I was intrigued. I could have done with less Hideaki Anno style dialogues and Ayana Otonashi spouting philosophical sophistry as a way to heavy-handedly convey Theming but all of that, too, adds to the funky charm.

Mmmh? What? Ayana? Who's that? I don't know anybody by that name. Stop asking!

Anyway, Her story is up next.

Part 3: Like Cyrano

Chapter 3 is about Zakuro, the girl who first appeared before us in Yuki's dream at the start, the girl whose death serves as the inciting incident for the "plot." Her tale is pretty much set in stone but you are given the chance to deviate from the script, through a branching path, to see a vision of the world where she reaches her own Wonderful Everyday. It is a world where she stood up to her bullies, found happiness and love, a girlfriend in Kimika (arguably the best girl), and everything worked out fine.

Then, you bear witness to the reality where the script stayed its course, what drove her to do what she did, what was done to her, what she was feeling during that time.

Upsetting doesn't even begin to describe it.

I hated it. I hated every minute, every second of it. I hated it because it reminded me of how much I hated my school years, my bullies, and myself. This didn't hit close home, this set the building that is my mind on fire. I was left numb, speechless, empty. I wanted to cry but I couldn't. The frustration, the despair and powerlessness, your (subhuman) existence being a mere pass-time to those who torment you, the anger at the institutions that enabled this abuse through the negligence of their precious optics. You cannot trust adults to help, you cannot trust society to care, there are many of them and only one of you. You feel alone, scared, ostracized, isolated, and you wish everyone would just disappear. You're a worm. Then, the bullying gets worse...

Ah, I think the tears are beginning to form.

Genuinely, this shook me to my core. I hesitate to say I was triggered but it came damn close to activate some manner of trauma response within me. I was surprised by the clever use of Cyrano de Bergerac as a narrative device. A text within the text that empowered our heroine to find her courage in the "good ending", only to re-contextualize said courage as tragic and cruel in the "normal ending." Her quoting of Cyrano on his deathbed is a hymn to self-validation twisted into a eulogy for the life she left behind in the pursuit of happiness, of a meaning to her suffering. It framed the game's entire thematic journey.

As previously hinted, a lot of direct literary references are employed in the writing, from philosophical dissertations to fantasy storybooks to plays, from Wittgenstein to Carroll to Rostand and many more. They provide a backdrop to the complicated emotionality on display, the all too human desire to reach the place where we can be in control of our own destiny, that dream life in which we are special and no one can hurt us, the Wonderful Everyday... But let us put a pin on it.

To summarize, chapter 3 is where SubaHibi went from solid psychological horror with a few neat ideas to the kind of heart-rending, mind-breaking novel I cannot wait to never revisit again - and I mean that as a huge compliment. Now, I am about to discuss what is, undoubtedly, the most interesting, compelling, gripping aspect of the narrative and I shalt not hold myself back as I do so.

There will be massive spoilers for the back half of the game after this. Consider yourself warned.

I must talk about The Trio.

Part 4: Yuki is Gender Goals

It is revealed, not as a sudden twist but, rather, as a slowly laid out set of clues over the course of many hours, that the characters of Yuki, Takuji and Tomosane (more on him later) are, in fact, all inhabiting the same body and mind. They are a DID system. The text unambiguously states it.

Takuji Mamiya was presumably the "original identity" who subconsciously created the other two as a direct response to traumatic events in their lives. He's a quivering, pitiful mess, a deeply closeted, repressed and hurt individual who would eventually succumb to delusions and start the End Sky cult.

Tomo, the "youngest" alter, came out after an episode of extreme bullying that turned into sexual assault. He was born from Takuji's self-loathing and darkest thoughts - or so we are initially led to believe. He acted the part of his tormentor from that day onward. Tomo is as strong and violent as Tajuki is meek and frail. They will both go through a big change.

And then, there's Yuki. She is the best alter, the Ideal Self, everything that Mamiya has always aspired to be: a cool, confident, charming, funny, smart, gorgeous woman who kicks ass. She is, quite assuredly, Gender Goals. That's right! This was both a DID and a Trans narrative all along! Well, maybe, to a certain extent, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

The Wonderful Everyday showcased in the prologue could have been read as the perfect realization of the reality that the Mamiya system desired. Yuki, firmly in the front, having hot steamy tribadism with her anime girlfriends... and that is why it could not last.

Oh, by the way, tribadism means scissoring, in case you were wondering.

Yuki and Tomo aren't mere metaphors, however. They are fully rounded people with their own wants and needs. Regardless of how they came to be, they have an agency that openly contrasts with the "roles" assigned to them by God's Script - that is to say, the subconscious will of Takuji. Furthermore, the "Yuki" of chapter 1 was a version of herself that was cut off from the system, their memories and continuity, in order to fit the mold imposed by the sad little incel. Her own identity is altered because he projected his own closeted feelings onto her. There might be a lot to unpack here but I do not have the mental fortitude to start quoting Jung. The game already does that for me, constantly. Regardless, chapter 4 aims to explore the interactions between alters, how they perceive themselves, their situation, their forced upon fate and the pure, existential dread when cult leader Takuji flips the script and threatens to erase their world. By all accounts, this should be the best chapter, right?

Right?

Part 4.5: The Worst Chapter

This is the worst chapter, by a large margin. The reason for it is oddly specific. The focal point is the intertwining relationship between POV alter Tomo, his headspace sister Yuki and his blood-related, physical, younger sister Hasaki. They both love him very much.

You might have noticed how I needed to stress what their established familial bonds and age gaps were. What follows is a series of "funny ha ha" interactions between the three of them that can only be compared to some of the trashiest Harem anime from the last decade and a half. Except, this is an Eroge. So, depending on a choice you make, a choice that will actually affect the ending of the game, Tomo either ends up doing Meta-Physical Incest with Yuki or Literal (underage) Incest with Hasaki. Also, for some reason, everyone loves hurling homophobic and transphobic slurs now. Look, there have been a few reasonably outdated terms in this script from fifteen years prior but it's as if the writer waited for this chapter, specifically, to start splurging on them, all at once! Worse yet, the recipient for said slurs is a canonically gay side-character who loves groping young boys "as a prank", because Comedy!

There is a baffling scission between the quality of the writing in this chapter compared to all that preceded it. Not to mention, the discordant way in which this openly queer narrative still chooses to rely on such tropes for the sake of a lazy punchline, wanting its cake and eating it too. Adding to that, Wonderful Everyday is usually witty and quite humorous when it wants to be, sophisticated even in its naughtier jokes. Chapter 4 wasn't up to that standard. Tomo is, sadly, not that interesting of a character save for his proximity with Yuka (the best alter) and his general reactionary demeanour does not endear himself to me, in the slightest.

It's a shame because, to be perfectly honest, this is still the most sensible, most earnestly human representation of DID I have ever seen in fiction - crudely sandwiched between all the goofy garbage. I am not the correct person to judge it, obviously, but the bar has been notoriously low on that front. I could stretch myself thin in order to justify some of the choices made here (Tomo is casually homophobic because of Takuji's SA trauma) but that would be intellectually dishonest. I will simply accept that the art is flawed and those flaws don't necessarily undermine what it does better than anything else I've read thus far - let us put a huge pin on this, as well. Although, it really sucks that the story veered immediately to a Kiss x sis scenario with a half DID, half L*li twist right after it finished recounting Zakuro's seriously tragic tale. Forget tonal whiplash, this was a tonal flailing!

Mind you, I am not opposed to certain topics, fetishes or fantasies as a MoRaL pRiNcIpLe, even if I personally disagree with them. I am saying that none of that felt earned here because, I reiterate, it was built as the worst kind of unfunny Harem show and its placement in the larger narrative was incredibly off. I did enjoy the other Harem scenario, after all, and that one was actually a tone-setter! If I weren't open-minded about kink, I would not be reading Eroge and I would be missing out on stories that bog-standard, corporate-policed, mainstream media would never have the guts to tackle. SubaHibi is basically Fight Club and I Saw The TV Glow wrapped in a School Days shaped joint. No, I will not elaborate.

Part 5: ... .... .....

This is the moment where I drop the facade and just admit it. I am no longer interested in writing an essay about this game. Rather, I do not believe I am in the proper state of mind to be able to engage with this text at its own terms. The words flowing out of my non-existent pen, right now, feel like a forced smile barely holding back tears. I will not tell you what happens in the plot after the last part and I shan't bother with announcing spoilers ahead of time, either. SubaHibi broke my brain, my heart and my spirit but not for the reasons you might think. I didn't love it and I didn't hate it. The best way I can put it is... Grief. I grieved over it and I resented it for that. My feelings are complicated, perhaps misguided, and I want to examine why.

Before that, let me be clear: while I acknowledge its importance as thematic framing, I do not especially care about the philosophical grandstanding that inundates the prose, often breaking the narrative flow. I'm not impressed by Ayana (wait, who?) talking at the player through the protagonists about "high-minded" Existential quandaries. Wonderful Everyday isn't deep and meaningful because it can cite Ludwig Wittgenstein's Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus. It is deep because it has something meaningful to say about the systemic, institutional and personal abuses that lead to trauma and suicide, and what it means to keep on living in the pursuit of happiness.

We were not made to feel insignificant by an abstract concept. It was politics, bigotry, religious zealotry, uncaring academic faculties, day-to-day targeted violence, the hypocrisy of a "respectable" society, extreme bullying, warped parental figures, literal cults, and all of the other loosely interconnected tassels of a mosaic that paints a dire, monstrous reality. A reality filled with unfathomable horrors that everyone pretends is normal. Amidst the chaos, people feel the need to find purpose, some measure of control, a way to be happy. Zakuro was looking for that when she took her own life. Takuji was deluded into becoming a saviour and dragged many, equally lost souls along with him. You ask yourself: my pain has to exist for a reason, right? It cannot possibly be just the result of circumstances entirely outside of my control, right? Why did that have to happen to me? Why me!? Unfortunately, the reasons are many and none of them will make sense to you. You were an easy target, your parents didn't care, the mass media lied to you, the teachers turned a blind eye, you are worthless to society. And so, you yearn for a meaning, for the sorrow to be justified and for your damage to be "correct." Nothing about your damage was right. You're not special for having suffered. It just so happened to be you and it was not fair. You cannot change the past but, perhaps, you can look at the future.

It's human nature wanting to be happy, everyone searches for that Wonderful Everyday, but happiness is a transient state, not a monolithic entity. It is possible to grasp it, even after all the tragedies and the sadness, and it's worth being alive for it even if it might not last. To quote Wittgenstein, the "hardest" philosopher: 'Live happily.' You have to live. That is the message.

It's a cautiously optimistic sentiment bereft of condescension and the Anti-Doomer proclamation that we, now more than ever, urgently need.

.....

Then why am I not satisfied by this reading? Why do I have these lingering sense of incompleteness? Where is my emotional catharsis? Why do I feel so strongly yet so lukewarmly about this work of fiction? And why am I in pain? I am going to vent, big time.

Part 5.5: ..... ...... ....... ........ ......... ..........

My truest, most raw thoughts on SubaHibi emerge from a weird amalgamation of reasonable criticism, petty grievances and, overall, extremely subjective opinions that might not resonate with anybody else in the whole cosmos. First off, I'm still not over how bad chapter 4 was!

My dislike for it has only grown stronger as the rest of the novel played out, up and to its endings. That is precisely because the dynamic between Tomo, Hasaki (and Yuki) was supposed to represent the real emotional core of the story, and they fumbled it so bloody hard! The origins of the tragedy, the formation of the Mamiya system, the entire statement thesis by which SubaHibi hinges firmly revolved on these characters! As such, if I just so happen to find Onii-chan the Homophobe and his baby sister lover not especially compelling, it doesn't work for me. It was heartrending to see all the characters I've come to love being slowly set aside for the least interesting protagonists in the entire VN - plus the gay groper from earlier. I couldn't accept how someone like Yuki was reduced to be a supporting role for Tomosane. Speaking of which, remember how I praised the game for its DID representation? Let's just say, it wasn't very poggers of SubaHibi to essentially retract it in lieu of its denouement. I understand the intent, I get the theming, the allegory is obvious but it removed the actual representation from the text in service of said allegory. Beyond that, the idea that one can be "cured" of a mental illness because they have successfully completed their arc is inherently gross. I do not speak on behalf of anyone but myself when I state, leaving the pre-trauma identity as the only one left was a cop out.

I would consider the above points to be reasonable, all things told. You simply cannot expect me to like the story if I can't enjoy the protagonists. However, these are just basic opinions. They do not address the bleeding heart of the matter. To understand why I am the way I am, we must go back to the beginning of it all, to that prologue, that Wonderful Everyday that started with a cool, Goth woman lighting a cigarette beneath a clear Summer sky...

This is about Yuki.

This was always about Yuki.

And me.

Part 6: .......... ........... ............ ............My End Sky

It's petty, it's childish, it's downright embarrassing to say, but I despised this game for taking her away from the centre stage. I fell in love with this fictional person and I can't even begin to formulate the words to explain why she gets to me to such a degree. If you recall my initial impressions, I praised the prologue of this game to high heavens. It could have seriously worked fine as its own fun, moving, coming-of-age Yuri Eroge... and, to tell you the rotten truth, part of me still wishes I was there, in that world. It was a lulling, comforting experience, a dream of serenity meant to be awoken from. Every successive chapter slowly peeled away at its foundations, until all that remained was a story barely resembling it. Characters you thought were there, were not. Rationally, I gather the point of it. It's the same point that I already discussed. Happiness is transient but obtainable, life keeps moving, sometimes you must look outside of your own bubble and see the reality of the people that surround you. You may never truly learn how to live if you stay there.

Yuki isn't real. I don't mean that in a physical, meta-physical, meta-textual or philosophical sense, I mean that literally. She's a 2D drawing in a videogame. She's the kind of heroine someone like Takuji would probably enjoy in said videogame. She's an inspiration, an aspiration and gender goals but she's still not here. None of these characters exist in our world. They are "real" in the context of their fictional universe and they seem "real" to you because the goal of Art is to make you feel real emotions, but that's it. Sooner or later, the game will end, the story will be over, and you'll have to go touch grass. To drive the theming home, the Yuki from the beginning is not even the only one around. There are several versions of her that exist at various points in time, all of which different in subtle ways as if they were someone else's interpretation of an individual by the name of Yuki Minakami. All these versions are equally authentic within the narrative, Alter Yuki is treated like a proper person whose pronouns are respected, yet the disconnect between their personalities acts as a stark reminder that she's but a character in a visual novel - written by SCA-Ji, illustrated by several artists and released in 2010 to massive critical acclaim. I am subtly yet constantly made aware I'm reading fiction and, for the first time in my life, the notion is making me despair. Because I fucking love this 2D girl way too much and I don't know why! This pain does not make sense! The Wonderful Everyday of the prologue was a dream from which Yuki had to wake up, and herself, along with the rest of this game, was the dream from which I must stir...

But I don't want to leave! I'm not ready to go! I do not want to see the End Sky. I wish to stay a little longer. Just a little longer. I'm not ready yet! I'm not ready! Please, let me stay here. Please. Please. Please.

... ........

.....................

..........................................

Oh, but maybe, that's just the heart of the matter. The nature of fiction, how we intersect with it. We project our feelings onto these characters. We inhabit them, we empathize with them. Because we see ourselves in them. Thus our emotions are reflected back at us. We are a multitude of thoughts, feelings, wants, needs. There are many versions of us. Just like there are many versions of Yuki. Through fictional characters we may learn of ourselves. The many pieces of who we are. Sometimes, I contemplate about life. Because I am introspective. Sometimes, I feel like lashing out at the world. Because I was bullied. Sometimes, I play videogames. Because they offer me haven. Sometimes, I hate myself. Because I'm crazy, depressed and autistic. At times, I am Yuki.

At times, I am Zakuro.

I am Takuji.

I am Kimika.

I am Cyrano on his deathbed.

I am Alice chasing the White Rabbit.

I am a child. I'm an adult. A puppet. A mastermind. An inspiration. An aspiration. A loser. A winner. A human. A worm. A straight. A lesbian. A monster. A victim. A hero. A poet. A philosopher. A swordsman. A pioneer of aerodynamics. A guy who reads way too much.

Sometimes, I am a person in a dream, looking up at the End Sky, waiting to return to the other side. Or for the cycle to begin anew. I think I might have talked about this with somebody, at some point, atop a rooftop. Who was it again? I forget her name... Oh well.

I'm going back on track now. The dream is so thoroughly trashed that I can never enjoy it again, metaphorically speaking. I did not even mention anything about the actual origin of Yuki's character, what befell her, and how much that made me legitimately grieve, bawl my eyes out, and angered me at the same time. I resent SubaHibi for taking Yuki's gay girl harem away from me and effectively replacing it with Tomo's straight incest harem! In fact, come to think of it, the game peeled away almost everything that made it a visibly queer, trans and DID narrative by the end! What do you mean Yuki likes boys!? What is this madness!? Jokes aside, that actually does sound pretty horrible when you put it into perspective. It's definitely worth studying and I hope somebody (as in, not me) may be willing to make a five hours video essay on the subject. I am half-serious.

By now, it should be blatant that this is not a critical appraisal of Wonderful Everyday and it was never truly meant to be. This stopped being a traditional analysis a long while ago. If anything, it was a weirdly roundabout way of saying I cannot review it fairly. I can't call it a masterpiece, I can't call it disappointing, I am simply too much of a mess to think clearly and, frankly, that might be the best endorsement anybody could ever bestow upon such a complicated, intimidating work. Personal grievances or not, dubious choices or not, this still is important fiction. One that should be experienced at least once during your lifetime. I legitimately cannot remember a time when I felt this broken up about 2D drawings. Although, I don't know what does it say about me that Zakuro's story (which hit me at a personal level) didn't make me cry but the notion Yuki couldn't go on dates with hot twins anymore utterly destroyed me. Methinks it's time to go touch some grass.

This is the end of the essay. Live happily, everyone.

---

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Ayana fanart <3

I finished reading “Tsui no Sora” last month and I really liked it!

Right now I’m reading Subahibi. I’m really enjoying it!!

When I finish reading it, I’m going to make more fanarts <3

Commission: https://vgen.co/nemophila 

Twitter: https://x.com/nemophilaa_