dezaki → purichou

Summertime (1955) dir. David Lean

i feel like last year was the first year of my life since probably middle school where my interests in anime/arts/music/drawing etc. and being online totally disappeared, 1. bc now i have a ft job in a new country, but 2. bc i forced myself to be an extrovert to not be completely isolated and alone and feel homesick all the time. but even though i wasn't online doing my usual hobbies, somehow my downtime ended up being supplanted by phone addiction, since that also became the primary method of my way to stay in contact w/ new people here and ppl back home. i need to somehow strike balance between my internal self and the self that has moved abroad. since it was just my birthday, i also simply cannot believe its been 10 years since i finished high school and the thought of time continuing to move so fast fills me with absolute existential dread... even more so now that i'm so far away from my family. but, i've always had those thoughts about time, even when i was young