Derek sat in the far corner of the large convention room with his nose in a book, while Stiles roamed the room talking to different people and listening in on small lectures be put on.

Derek had only attended one E/A Con in his many years as an alpha and he'd hated it. Deaton had insisted he go and attempt to find an emissary match. However, Derek didn't trust anyone, and Deaton stepped in enough that he felt he didn't actually need an emissary.

Derek's eyes followed Stiles as he made his way towards the bar. Derek could see the distrustful tension in Stiles' shoulders as he took a seat. He wondered, not for the first time that day, if Stiles actually even wanted to be here. Sure he'd seemed excited on the way up here but now that they were there he seemed upset. Derek had dismissed it as being nervous, but Stiles seemed almost annoyed as he waited for his drink now. The alpha debated on going over to talk to the human, perhaps bring up the subject of Stiles being his emissary instead of one of these over inflated egos walking around, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Every time he thought about actually suggesting it to Stiles he was filled with mild panic. His heart would race, and he would start to sweat which caused him to focus on remaining calm and he'd lose his nerve. So instead he watched as Stiles drank alone at the bar.

-

Stiles was just finishing his drink when another one was slid towards him. Stiles looked up with a confused expression. He hadn't ordered another one.

"The gentleman in the grey button down would like to know if you're waiting on someone," The bartender asked glancing down the bar a ways.

Stiles' eyes followed his, landing on a blonde in a grey button down eyeing him.

Stiles felt a small smile tug at his lips, "I'm not," Stiles answered knowing the alpha would hear him.

Stiles was flattered that someone had bought him a drink. He'd never had that happen before. Usually he was with Scott and Scott was the one who got hit on all the time.

Stiles' eyes fell to the fresh drink as the alpha approached.

"I hope you don't mind me buying you a drink," The man took a seat next to Stiles.

"Not at all," Stiles smiled shyly, his eyes meeting the blue ones that belonged to the alpha.

"Jace," The man extended his hand.

"Stiles," He took the man's hand nervously.

"Your first time to one of these I assume?" Jace asked gesturing to the room behind them when he released Stiles' hand.

"That obvious huh?" Stiles bit down on his lower lip.

"You're not as...outgoing at the rest of the sparks here," Jace answered, choosing his words carefully.

"Is that a bad thing?" Stiles frowned slightly.

"Quite the opposite actually," Jace shook his head.

Stiles gave another shy smile, dropping his eyes back to his drink.

"Something is bothering you," The alpha noted then.

"I'm just not sure I should have come here," Stiles shrugged. He'd been unsure of the idea since they arrived though he'd never admit it to Derek. The alpha had tried talking Stiles out of going since he'd decided to.

"Why's that?" Jace asked with a raise of his brows, "You're an emissary without an alpha right?"

"Technically," Stiles nodded, he glanced to the side, his eyes landing on Derek whose nose was still buried in a book.

"Technically?"

"I had an alpha before I came into my abilities," Stiles gestured to himself slightly.

"But you're human," Jace pointed out curiously.

"Yeah, It's kind of a mismatched pack, but it worked. Then I became an emissary and I suddenly felt out of place. I thought maybe I could find somewhere to fit in again," Stiles shrugged, letting out a sad sigh.

"Your alpha already has an emissary," Jace guessed with a nod.

"No, that's just it...he doesn't," Stiles shook his head, "But he's never wanted one and we don't have the kind of relationship that warrants an alpha emissary bond."

"Then I don't understand why you don't feel like you should have come," Jace tilted his head in question.

Stiles let out another sad sigh, "I don't trust anyone else. It's not my strong suit. I was excited to finally be a part of something, but this isn't how I wanted it."

"Have you tried talking to this alpha of yours?"

"It's no use, he's not the trusting type either and I'm not exactly his favorite person. He's always kept me at arm's length," Stiles glanced over to see Derek was now watching him with narrowed eyes.

"Then he's an idiot," Jace said putting a hand on Stiles' hand causing the spark to redirect his attention back on the blonde.

"I'm sorry, I'm sure you didn't buy me a drink so I could wine about another alpha," Stiles gave him a smile, pushing all thoughts of Derek away.

Derek's ears perked trying to listen in on Stiles' conversation. He had allowed himself to get invested in his book once Stiles had settled into the bar alone. His mistake. He'd been approached by an alpha at some point.

"So are you planning on finding an alpha while you're here?" The blonde man asked Stiles.

"Maybe, if I find someone I feel like I could trust. It would have to be a slow relationship first though, I'm not one to rush into things," Stiles answered before taking a sip of his drink.

"That's admirable. There's nothing worse than being a part of a pack you don't get along with." The guy smiled, tossing the spark a wink.

Derek felt himself tense. This guy was interested in Stiles and not just as an alpha looking for an emissary.

-

Derek paced the floor of the shared hotel room he and Stiles had booked for the evening. He'd grown tired of watching Stiles flirt with the blonde alpha at the bar. He'd listened in for a bit at first and then when he couldn't take it he tried desperately to block it out but watching Stiles laugh and joke with another alpha drove Derek mad. He'd sent Stiles a text telling him he was going to their room after almost two hours.

Now almost three hours later and Stiles was still down at the bar. Derek was beginning to wonder if Stiles would even bother coming up to their room or if he would go with the new alpha to his. The thought made Derek's wolf bristle beneath the surface. He knew he wasn't ready to see Stiles with another alpha, but this was worse than he imagined.

The sound of a keycard in the door sent relief flooding through Derek.

"Derek, hey. I wasn't sure you'd be up," Stiles glanced at the small digital clock on the table in between the two beds. It was just after midnight.

"I was starting to worry," Derek growled. He didn't mean for his tone to be so harsh.

"Sorry, I got caught up," Stiles gestured over his shoulder towards the door he'd just come through.

"The blonde I'm guessing?" Derek snapped. Once again, his tone was harsher than intended.

"Jace," Stiles nodded with a slightly guilty look.

"That belong to him?" Derek asked glancing to the phone number scribbled on a napkin.

"Uh, yeah. He wants us to get to know each other," Stiles dropped his eyes to the napkin.

"So you've decided then?" Derek crossed his arms to keep from punching the wall. His wolf was going nuts and he didn't want Stiles to know.

"Not necessarily. I barely know him," Stiles shrugged. He felt like he was explaining to his father why he was meeting some guy after curfew.

"But that's the intended purpose of getting to know each other, right?" Derek pressed, his eyes watching Stiles carefully hoping to find some hesitation.

"Yeah," Stiles gave an ashamed nod.

"Good, then we can leave first thing in the morning," Derek turned to his bed then, not wanting to face Stiles any longer.

"I agreed to meet him tomorrow morning," Stiles spoke again causing Derek to pause.

The silence was deafening but Derek feared what he might say next would be rash, so he let the silence linger.

"You're upset," Stiles spoke in a quiet tone. It wasn't posed as a question.

Derek closed his eyes. He didn't know how to respond to that. Stiles wasn't stupid and he knew Derek well enough to know when the alpha was upset or lying.

"You've been a part of my pack for several years, Stiles, I'm not going to like watching you leave," Derek spoke, careful to keep his tone even.

"You think I like this? I'm leaving everyone. Scott, Allison, Boyd, Erica, hell even Isaac," Stiles snapped.

Derek turned with a raised brow. Stiles hadn't voiced this before.

"I'm leaving what is essentially my family. I hate it. I don't want another pack," Stiles gestured wildly as he spoke being sure to emphasize his frustration.

"Then why?" Derek asked though he knew why. It wasn't smart to be an emissary without a pack.

"You know why. We've been over this," Stiles huffed with a roll of his eyes.

Derek clenched his hands in fists as he opened his mouth. He wanted to ask Stiles to stay to be his emissary, but he didn't know how. Stiles and his had a complicated relationship and he was sure Stiles wouldn't want to be bound to Derek.

"I would protect you," Derek said instead, vulnerability leaking out of his tone.

"It doesn't work like that. I'm an unclaimed emissary, if an alpha came along and wanted to start trouble it would cause conflict between packs. I don't want that," Stiles' voice softened. He appreciated Derek's offer, but it was too dangerous.

"You don't want this either," Derek snapped gesturing towards the napkin still in Stiles' hand.

"Look, I've already been through this. This is my life now. I can't just ignore it. I can do something for once. Something more than just research and being a lookout. I can actually help and if that means I have to leave behind everyone else...that's just...something I'll have to learn to live with. And it's not like I'll never see you guys again. I'm sure Jace would allow me to visit especially if you allowed him to come with me," Stiles' tone was even, and he looked sure of what he was saying but his scent gave him away.

Derek could smell the hurt and sadness.

"I don't want to keep you from being who you are, you'll be an amazing emissary I know it, but please don't ever think you were just a lookout. You were the brains of most of our operations. You've saved my life more times than I can count. Losing you will be hard on all of us, so please make sure this is what you want before you agree to it," Derek's voice waivered with the uncertainty.

"What choice do I have? I always wanted something more. I guess it's true, the saying, be careful what you wish for," Stiles' head dropped, his eyes falling to the black and white patterned carpet.

"Where is his pack located?" Derek asked, his shoulders tensing as he braced for the answer.

"Boston," Stiles answered quietly.

"Boston?" Derek snapped. He'd thought maybe Arizona or Washington, but Boston was across the country.

"I know it's far but-"

"No, I won't let you do that. What about your dad and Scott?" Derek interrupted. He couldn't be that far from Stiles.

"I talked to my dad before I left. He said he'd support me no matter how far it takes me away from Beacon Hills."

"The pack isn't going to be okay with this," Derek's tone was still hostile.

"They're not my pack anymore, Derek," Stiles barked taking an angry step towards the alpha.

"So you're gonna throw us away just like that?" Derek was hurting and he was masking it with anger.

"What part of I don't have a choice don't you understand?" Stiles' raised his voice slightly. How could Derek guilt trip him like this.

"You don't have to pick a pack located across the country," Derek threw his hands up.

"It doesn't matter if I'm an hour away, I won't be a part of your pack anymore." Derek didn't seem to be getting it.

Derek's jaw clenched. Hearing Stiles say that was too painful.

"I can't..." Derek shook his head.

Stiles frowned in confusion, "What?"

"I can't do this," Derek took a step back.

"Do what?" Stiles could see Derek's eyes flash slightly, "Derek are you okay?"

"No, I'm not okay. I'm your alpha and I'm listening to you talk about how you're not a part of my pack anymore, do you even know what it's like for an alpha to lose a pack member?" Derek snapped.

"But I'm just a human," Stiles shook his head. His leaving shouldn't affect Derek at all.

"It doesn't matter. Losing a pack member causes a grieving response from my wolf. It's like a piece of me is ripped out. It's like losing a limb. I have to learn to live without you," Derek's breathing was getting quicker. He had been able to remain calm but listening to Stiles talk about leaving was too much.

"Derek, please, don't make this harder for me," Stiles didn't want to hear how much his leaving would hurt.

"Then don't do it," Derek's voice waivered. He was losing control of his wolf. He knew this would happen. He'd just hoped it wouldn't happen until he got back home.

"I don't have a choice," Stiles shouted. It wasn't fair for Derek to guilt trip him.

"Then be mine," Derek whispered, his eyes flashing between their alpha red and their sage green.

"What?" Stiles frowned.

"Be my emissary," Derek spoke a little louder. His hands were shaking with the lack of control.

Stiles' brows rose, his lips parting in surprise.

"I know you and I aren't...close...but you're important to me and the rest of the pack, I can't...lose you," Derek clenched his hands as his claws extended into his palms, drawing blood.

"I thought you didn't want an emissary," Stiles frowned. He never imagined Derek would ask this of him.

"I didn't but only because I had you and Deaton. I wouldn't trust anyone else, but you...I trust you with my life, Stiles," Derek was surprised at how easily the words were falling from his mouth.

"You do? I thought you only put up with me because of Scott, package deal and all."

"At first maybe, but it's been years and now, you're just as important as any other member. Hell, maybe more so now that you're a spark," Derek had managed to get enough control of his wolf to keep from shifting any further.

"If you really feel that way, why didn't you ask sooner?" Stiles couldn't be sure Derek was genuine.

"Because I'm sure I'm the last person you'd want to be bound to for life," Derek's eyes dropped to his feet. He wasn't ready for the rejection that was surely coming.

"Derek..." Stiles took a step towards him.

The alpha braced.

"There's no one in this world, besides maybe my dad, that I trust more than you. I would rather spend my life protecting you and your pack than some random alpha I don't know. How could you even think I wouldn't agree to be your emissary?"

Derek looked up, his sage green eyes bright with relief. His wolf settled down allowing his claws to retract, "So you'll stay?" Derek's tone was hopeful.

"Always," Stiles nodded seriously.

Derek's shoulders released allowing the relief to wash over him.

"We'll leave first thing in the morning," Stiles smiled crumpling the napkin and dropping it in the nearby trashcan.

Derek had never felt so at peace, knowing that not only was Stiles not going to be leaving the pack and bonding with another alpha, but he would be by Derek's side for the rest of their lives.