Not sure if I should post about this book or not but after seeing a review of it on IG by crimebythebook I knew I had to read it. A lot of people won't be able to so make sure you read the trigger warnings.
It's about Noah. Noah is 17 and a sex offender. He struggles with dark desires. He doesn't want to have them but can't seem to escape them. He tries with help to get better but he cannot be fixed. A lot of people want Noah dead because of who he is. There is no understanding for this 17 year old boy. But what if he is your son? The child you watched grow up? Had a nice life? You did nothing wrong with the parenting but still your son ends up like Noah. Would you be able to handle it? Would you still love him? Or would you see him as a monster that you put on this earth? This book is not for your entertainment. It's heavy. The characters have many flaws. The mom is not rational but would you if it was your son?
This book made me think of another 17 year old boy who really did exist. Who also struggled with real intrusive thoughts and desires he didn't want. Who also tried his best to drown them out. But it did not work. I think books like this are important because they make us uncomfortable. They make us think about our own morals. How we would feel if one of our loved ones ends up being what society sees as a monster. It's easy to say people like Noah should be killed. If they let their fantasies come true then yes they are doing wrong and they need to be locked up, safe away from the innocent. But we should also keep in mind.. in some cases.. they didn't ask for these thoughts either.
The other 17 year old boy later in life said, "It seems like some of the thoughts aren't my own, they just come blasting into my head. These thoughts are very powerful, very destructive, and they do not leave. They're not the kind of thoughts you can just shake your head and they're gone. They do not leave."
I want to make clear that this is not an excuse. There is always a choice. But it's not as easy as one would think. This book is fiction but based on real life events. Lucinda Berry is a former clinical psychologist and I think she handles the sensitive subject well. Again, not everyone will be able to handle the book. Some might get disgusted with it which is a completely fair reaction. But I still think it's important to look further than your first initial reaction to it. But hey, maybe that is why I also like true crime so much so it's easier for me to do so. I already ordered 4 more books by her and I cannot wait to read them. They seem right up my alley.
