#sauron ff

"Who told you that? The elf?", you spit out, the blood running through your veins seething with anger. "Just a few days have gone by since he was detained in one of our cells, and now he is being hailed as a long-lost king? Do you even listen to yourself?"

"Sister-"

"Don't 'sister' me right now."

Míriel takes a deep breath, resting her weight on the table with both arms, and lowers her head as if she needs a moment to avoid lashing out on you in the same manner you are currently displaying.

"Listen. A marriage like this would rekindle and strengthen the bond between the people of Middle-earth and our kind for generations to come", she explains, her voice calm, but you know her well enough to notice that she has to pull herself together.

"Very well, go ahead and marry him then", you counter and give her a challenging look, the one you have been giving her since you were children. "Why should I be the one to suffer?"

"As the Princess of Númenor, it is your duty to prioritize the welfare of your people over your own!", she yells at you now, her nostrils flaring. You'd be lying if you said you didn't flinch a little when she raised her voice. Usually, it takes longer to unsettle her.

Elendil, who is standing at the large doors to the room, also seems a little shocked. As the two exchange a tender look, however, Míriel's features relax again and she straightens up, slipping back into the role of the wise, majestic Queen-Regent of Númenor.

"I won't accept no for an answer", she tells you, all calm and collected again. No trace left of your loving sister whom you loved so much.

"You have held me captive within these castle's walls for longer than I know and now you wish to ship me off like that?", you scoff in disbelief, crossing your arms in front of your chest, trying to mask how much she's hurting you right now.

"You wanted freedom. Here I am granting it to you."

"This is not freedom", you express your words through gritted teeth, your eyes burning with tears as your words have no effect on Míriel. "You think you can still control me like a child. But you no longer hold any power over me. I won't let you dictate the course of my life."

To emphasize your point, you grab the unassuming tiara adorning your head, smaller and thus in stark contrast to your sister's, and forcefully hurl it to her feet. Several small diamonds come loose and the sound of them scattering around the marble floor makes you shiver.

"I don't care who he is", you say angrily, your hands clenched into fists at your sides while Míriel only looks at you in shock, her eyes wide. "I won't marry someone I don't know, let alone love."

With these final words, you turn away and walk towards the door, which Elendil quickly opens for you. On his face, you clearly see that he feels sorry about how this whole situation expired. But you don't need his pity.

You stomp out angrily, holding back your tears, your pulse pounding in your ears. You have never told her what you think before. You have always done what she asked of you, been a good little sister because you can only imagine the burden she is carrying. But today she has crossed a line.

When you turn around in the hallway one last time, catching a glimpse of Míriel through the closing door, you see Elendil carefully approaching her to comfort her. From this perspective, she looks exhausted, hurt even. But all you feel towards her is anger. You can't help but roll your eyes and release a heavy breath of air from your lungs.

Undoubtedly, that is the reason why she wants you to marry Lord Halbrand. Because her heart is already taken.

You think back to times when you would have been overjoyed, when you would have been genuinely happy for her. You two would have lain on soft pillows and talked about everything, every little detail. Now, you can find none of these feelings inside of you.

Completely lost in your thoughts, you walk through the large halls of the castle, your home. A home that feels much more like a prison. With your head low, you turn a corner and suddenly collide with a hard wall. Caught off guard, you stumble back until a hand closes around your wrist and holds you tight.

You forget to breathe for a moment when your gaze meets his.

"Whoa there. Where are you headed, my lady?", Lord Halbrand asks you in surprise, a gentle smile on his face as he holds you close, his touch on your skin burning. As soon as you notice this, you break free from his grip and take your distance, smoothing down your dress, which he only comments on with a frown.

He is the last person you want to talk to right now.

"Are you all right?", he asks you with concern in his voice, making you realize that you haven't given him an answer and just stood there in silence. In fact, you don't really have anything to say to him. You just wish he would go back to Middle-earth where he belongs.

"Yes", you finally answer, coldly and curtly. "Now if you'll excuse me."

You walk past him, your shoulders almost touching, and listen to your own loud footsteps echoing through the halls as you walk down the corridor.

"Your demeanour leads me to believe that the Queen-Regent informed you of our plans", his voice calls after you, suddenly bringing you to an abrupt halt.

Our plans? That means they have been talking about this behind your back for who knows how long. You were deemed to lose from the beginning. As always.

"She did", you say, slowly turning around and towards him. He hasn't moved from the spot where you left him moments ago, but his presence fills the entire hallway anyway.

The way he stands there and looks at you, as if you were fragile and pitiable, makes the anger inside of you boil up once more and you walk towards him. Instead of taking a step back, however, he takes one towards you so that he is now towering over you with all his height.

"Listen to my words: I don't know what exactly you hope to achieve with this.. marriage. But it will never happen. I will not marry you", you tell him clearly, emphasizing the last words by poking your index finger into his chest. You don't give him time to answer, but as you turn around you notice the knowing grin that plays around his lips.

You decide not to respond to this and move away from him entirely. As soon as you turn into the next corridor, you finally feel like you can breathe again. At least as much as is possible for you within these walls.

You haven't been able to breathe properly in here for a long time.

You walk to your room, two guards posted on either side of the massive doors, and let yourself through without a word. Once inside, you find your way directly to the balcony, which overlooks the entire city and the harbour. The wind blows through your hair and creates a sad smile on your lips. From up here, you can hear nothing but the wind, the people frolicking down there nothing more than tiny black dots. A single tear finds its way down your cheek and you don't bother to wipe it away. Rather, you are amazed that you can even cry at all after all the tears you have already shed here.

You don't know if it is at that moment, or before, when you threw your crown at Míriel's feet, but you make a decision.

With a goal in mind, you go back inside, into the huge room you call your own and search through several closets until you find what you are looking for. You swap your beautifully ornamented dress for a more simple one, get rid of all your jewelry and put your hair into a casual updo. On the way to the door, your own reflection briefly looks back at you from the mirror across the room and you pause as you look at yourself.

Nothing is left of the little girl who once had dreams and pursued goals.

Taking another deep breath, you open the door and step out. The guards bow, as they always do when they see you.

"I'm going to pay a visit to my father", you explain to them, which they confirm with a short nod. They are about to follow you, but seem to remember that you are now allowed to walk around without guards constantly at your side, at least within the castle's walls. A change that hasn't been in effect for very long.

Nevertheless, you quicken your pace once you are out of their reach, afraid that they will decide to follow you after all. On your way, you make sure to avoid the maids and other guards, hiding behind corners, holding your breath. When you finally arrive at the stairs to the tower that lead up to your father, you stop hesitantly. But it only takes a moment, remembering your conversation with Míriel and all the other terrible events of the past, for you to regain your strength and turn away. With quick steps, you take the next set of stairs that lead down.

As you arrive in corridors that lead to the kitchen and staff facilities, you pay close attention to every little noise. Your heart is pounding so hard against your chest that you feel like it can be heard echoing throughout the corridors. You put your shaking hands against the spot where your heart is and try to calm yourself down. You've never tried to break out of this prison before, you always thought you were here for your own good. But you know better now. The thought of the outside world, which you have encountered so rarely in your life, scares you beyond belief either way.

Your sister's words still roam around your mind, making you clench your fists, until you gather up all your courage. Finally, you make it out of one of the doors, out into the fresh air that greets you lovingly.

However, you have no time to linger and quickly move forward, with careful steps as not to alert anyone. As you walk, you pull a cloth out of the corset of your dress that you had previously hidden there. In one swift motion, you pull it over your head and hide your face behind the fabric, only your eyes visible now.

With these safety measures in place, you make your way to the harbour, away from the castle. The entrances for the staff are guarded, but because of your disguise they let you pass. Once you slip past them, you are immediately surprised by the number of people walking through the streets. The sun is already setting on the horizon and the warm light of lanterns illuminates the alleyways.

With a gentle smile, you watch as two children whirl around, holding dolls that they chase each other with. You follow the mass of people who probably want to celebrate the end of their day in one of the taverns. The closer you get to the center of the city, the market square, the louder and more crowded it becomes. You hear them talking, laughing with each other, arguments are being settled, some young girls dance in the middle of a crowd of people who happily watch and applaud.

Despite the positive and joyful atmosphere, you are overcome by a feeling of sadness and sorrow all of a sudden. These people are your people - and you never get to see them. They don't get to see you unless they enter the castle, and that is something only a few people are allowed to do, reserved especially for the nobles and those of higher rank. But what makes you even sadder is the fact that very few of them even care for you. You are second in line to the throne. Once your father leaves this world, Míriel will be their Queen. Accordingly, interest in you is quite low. You are not even sure they would recognize you if you took off your disguise.

The sad truth is that they wouldn't, and that hurts more than you thought. And these are the people you are supposed to give your life for.

Suddenly everything becomes too much for you. Your ears are ringing, your heart is pounding, your whole body is shaking. No matter where you look, there are crowds of people everywhere. You feel small, constricted, helpless. You are carelessly pushed to the side, shoved forward. Your feet are stepped on, no one apologizes. You try to break out of the crowd, but your head is spinning and you no longer know which direction to go. Your breathing is getting faster and louder by the second. Nobody notices, nobody shows even the slightest hint of interest in you.

When you feel your legs giving way beneath you, you are suddenly grabbed by the arm and pulled into an alley.

You are terrified when you realize that you cannot defend yourself, your body is completely frozen and does not listen to your commands. Only when you feel a gentle hand on your cheek - the cloth must have come loose in all the chaos - and look up do you let out a breath that you didn't even know you were holding in. Lord Halbrand is standing in front of you, his face painted in concern as he looks you up and down.

"What are you doing out here all alone, Princess?", he asks and quickly grabs a hold of your shoulder as you start to drift away again, your legs no longer able to hold you upright. Exhausted, you lean against the stone wall behind you and close your eyes. You don't like that he sees you like this. On the other hand, he just saved you and prevented you from fainting in the middle of a crowd.

"I.. don't know", you whisper in defeat and it takes all your strength to admit it.

"What were you even thinking?", he says quietly, more to himself than to you. It feels like he doesn't want to scold you, but on the other hand he also does want to.

You look into his eyes, his face bathed in warm light from the soft candlelight of the lanterns around you. The wounds that are covering his skin have slowly healed, but even in this dim light you still notice them. Only now, when staring at him, do you realize that he is distracting you from all the noise and hustle, faded into the background.

"Come. I'll escort you back to the castle", he finally offers, his hands still on your shoulders as if he doesn't dare let go of you, afraid that you'll drift into the darkness at any moment.

Once again, you don't react and only stare at him, making the worry on his face deepen. In the meantime, you just can't wrap your head around how a Southlander like him, a low man, who barely knows you and who you've met with nothing but hatred, is worried about you while the people around you, your kind, are far away from even remotely caring about you.

"Can you walk on your own?", he asks, and when you finally nod in agreement, he lets go of you. But not for long, because after he puts the cloth back in its place to cover your features one of his hands wraps around yours and holds it tightly in his grip as he pulls you behind him, up several steps that lead further away from the cheerful scene.

You are grateful that he doesn't ask any questions, doesn't want to know why you were out here in the first place.

"Thank you."

That makes him pause for a moment and his hand applies a little more pressure on yours. In response, he turns to you with a gentle smile and lowers his head in resignation.

For some inexplicable reason, your heart suddenly skips a beat. He doesn't seem to notice the change in your face, however, and walks on. Together you make your way through the winding streets and you are amazed at how well he already knows his way around. You have to admit that it also hurts. After just a few days he's already more familiar with this city than you are.

You can already see the entrance to the castle when Lord Halbrand halts in his step, forcing you to stop as well. Turning to you, he steps closer and lifts your hand. Then, he gently places his other hand on top of it.

"I don't know what you were doing out there", he starts, looking from your hand between his to your eyes. "But rest assured that I'll keep it to myself."

The relief you feel in that moment is indescribable. If your sister found out you had escaped, she would surely reinforce all safety measure to protect you. This feeling doesn't last long, however, when another emotion suddenly overshadows it once he continues speaking.

"A princess like you doesn't belong out here."

He may not notice it, but these words hurt you deeply and make your eyes burn with tears within seconds. Without hesitation, you snatch your hand from him and put some distance between you by taking a few steps back. Your knees still feel weak, but you don't let it show. Lord Halbrand's face meets yours with incomprehension as you do so.

"I know where I belong", you spit out angrily and straighten up. For a moment you actually thought there might be more hidden beneath his facade. Oh, how wrong you were.

With these last words, you leave him standing there and walk the last few meters to the castle without him. Once again, you sneak through the staff quarters into the castle. Although you don't want to admit it, the walls suddenly give you comfort, making you feel safe and protected.

You quickly blink away a few tears and return to your chambers, where you go straight to bed. Even though you are incredibly exhausted and drained, you don't sleep all night. You toss and turn in the sheets, your mind plagued by nightmares until you hear the birds outside singing.

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Annoyed, you slam the door to your chambers shut behind you and lean against it with a huff. Then you slide down to the cold ground and pull your knees closer to you, hugging them against your body.

Once again you tried to talk to your sister. Once again she dismissed your words as if they were worthless.

And that's exactly how you feel right now: worthless. Born into a life that brings you nothing but suffering and pain.

Ever since you were born, you were the one who would never ascend the throne. Who would never rule. And you never wanted to. You would never want to be your sister. But right now, you wish that you were both just born into a normal family, with no wealth or power. At the end of the day, she is still your big sister, the one who has always watched over you. Your mother dead, your father long bedridden - she is the only family you have left.

You miss the times when everything was peaceful. Happy times long gone when two sisters were inseparable. But the years made you believe that this world is not made for anyone to be happy.

You lower your head and let the sadness wash over you like waves finally bringing down a ship, and tears stream down your cheeks. Your body shakes, but you hold back any sobs, crying in silence.

You don't know how long you sat there, alone with your thoughts, the very last tear leaving your eye, but eventually something catches your attention. Something that reflects the light from across the room, lying on your vanity table that wasn't there when you left in the morning. Slowly, you get up and walk over, only to discover a beautiful brooch on top of a small piece of parchment. The design is that of a sun and the brooch is decorated with white and blue diamonds. It's breathtaking to look at.

You glance at the black ink on the parchment and your heart involuntarily jumps once more. The words read: 'Forgive me'.

When you suddenly hear footsteps behind you, however, you don't have time to think about these words any further. In one quick movement, you take an ornate dagger out of one of the drawers and turn in the direction of the noises. What you don't expect, however, is that Lord Halbrand emerges from the shadows behind your bed.

"H-How did you get in here? Who let you in?", you ask, out of breath, your heart pounding. The dagger in your hand is still raised, even as he approaches you. He doesn't say anything, however, just stands in front of you and slowly grabs your hand, which is tightly gripping the weapon. He lowers your joined hands and carefully removes the dagger from your grip, leaning over you to gently place it on the table.

"I was uncertain if my apology would be deemed acceptable, hence I wanted to see you in person to make sure", his soft voice sounds in your ear and sends a shiver down your spine. He is definitely too close to you right now and even though you'd never admit it, it doesn't feel uncomfortable. You look straight into his shining eyes which are not quite blue and not quite green but something in the middle. You swallow because the intensity in his gaze leaves you speechless.

"Get off me", you manage to croak out, sounding anything but convincing. Lord Halbrand notices this too, a smirk playing around his lips.

"I know you don't mean that, Princess. And that, deep down, you have already forgiven me", he breathes in a deeper voice than before and brushes a strand of hair from your face. In an instant, you grab his wrist and stop him from touching you any further. Because you know exactly what his touch does to you. And you simply cannot and do not want to acknowledge that you like what he does.

So far, every encounter with him was exhilarating, thrilling, like you were finally embarking on a long-awaited adventure. He awakens feelings you have kept locked away for a long time, sealed behind thick iron bars. Brick by brick, he slowly destroys the protective walls you have built around your heart.

It scares you.

"Lord Halbrand", you say more seriously now and stare directly into his beautiful eyes while he does not even try to free himself from your grip. "Get out of this room or I will call the guards and have you removed."

At that threat, Lord Halbrand lets out a quiet chuckle and removes his hand from your tight grip with ease.

"Before long, I will become your husband. It's time for you to get used to my presence, my lady", he states and the fury that rises in your eyes at his words is unmistakable. "I am aware that this.. arrangement may not be something you look forward to, but I suggest that you begin to come to terms with it. I fear you have no choice but to agree."

"Don't do this", you plead, and even though you try your best to hide it, your body trembles and your eyes fill with tears. The realization that he is telling the truth makes you feel sick to your stomach. Not wanting him to see your obvious discomfort, you turn your head away, lowering it in the process.

The next moment, however, you are unexpectedly pulled forward and suddenly feel two strong, muscular arms around you. Lord Halbrand hugs you as if his life depended on it. You can't even remember the last time someone hugged you. Especially not like this.

The slight scent of sea salt and smoke greets you and you have to admit that his embrace makes you feel safe, comfortable even. With his arms pressing you against his firm body tenderly, he manages to stop your body from shaking and your head from spinning. Right now, it's just you and Lord Halbrand. No could-haves, no would-haves.

The fact that you are no longer averse to his proximity scares you an immeasurable amount. That is also the reason why, in the next second, you push him away with all your strength, your hands on his hard chest.

"Please, Lord Halbrand. I need you to leave", you almost beg him and when his hand clasps yours on his chest, you look up at him and suddenly feel seen. The way he looks at you is unlike anyone has ever looked at you before.

"Your wish is my command, Princess", he nods and lifts your hand to his mouth, where he places a feather-light kiss on the back of your hand before he walks back to the large doors to your chamber, not taking his eyes off you. You also watch him and wait for him to finally leave you.

"Leave out the Lord next time", is the last thing he says before he disappears.

As soon as you see the door slam shut behind him, however, you run over with quick steps. Only when you get there and reach for the door handle do you stop yourself. What has gotten into you? Overwhelmed by the emotions flowing through your body all at once, you lean your forehead against the door in defeat.

After staying there for a while and taking several deep breaths to calm your rapidly pounding heart, you walk over to the brooch that is still shining at you from the table. Carefully, you place the fragile thing in the palm of your hand and examine it when you suddenly hear a whistle.

Wondering where it came from, you step out onto your balcony and see a few ships leaving the bay in the distance. But your attention is quickly drawn to the person standing in the courtyard a few meters below, looking up at you. You don't have to look twice to know that it is Halbrand.

"Give us a chance", he calls up to you and even from this distance you can see the bright smile on his face. Then he turns around and disappears under one of the archways.

Holding the brooch tightly to your heart, you can't believe that a soft smile creeps onto your lips.

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"His Lordship Halbrand has requested to see you, my lady", one of the guards announces as you step out of your chambers the next morning. The mention of his name makes your heart skip a beat and you straighten up immediately.

"Then I shouldn't keep him waiting", you reply gracefully and let the guard accompany you to the place where Halbrand wants to meet you. You wouldn't have expected this to be the inner courtyard, though. And even less that he would be waiting for you there with two saddled horses.

"I hope you had a good night's sleep, my lady", Halbrand greets you with a gentle smile and notices that your steps immediately slow down when you see him with the horses. "Rest assured, Princess. I have consulted with the Queen-Regent regarding this matter. With her approval, I am permitted to accompany you on a brief ride. If that is what you wish, of course."

You pause entirely. You can't believe he convinced your sister to let you leave the castle, and with only Halbrand as your company as well. On the other hand, you've gotten a sense of how charming and persuasive he can be in the last few days.

Smiling, he holds out the reins of a white mare that is standing calmly next to him. Still a little unsure about the whole situation, you take the reins and stroke the horse gently, but don't take your eyes off Halbrand.

"H-How?", you ask him in disbelief. You can't help but think back to how often you have begged your sister to finally let you leave the castle. The fact that she is allowing this now makes you a little suspicious, but you certainly won't question her motives if it means that you can experience freedom once more, even if only for a few hours.

"We have to be back by sunset", Halbrand winks at you and comes closer, making you take a step back instinctively. When he reaches out his hand, you realize that he just wants to help you onto the mare, so you put your hand in his. Once you feel his calloused, rough yet soft hand, a pleasant feeling flows through you and when you sit upon the mare's back, you feel like you could conquer the world. He mounts his black horse as well and together you lead the horses out of the gate.

You turn around, your eyes fixed on the castle and the guards who make no move to follow you. A sense of relief flows through your body at once. Side by side, you make it out of the city and as soon as you leave the border of the capital, you are greeted by vast meadows and fields, grass gently swaying in the wind.

It doesn't take long before you get your horses galloping over the fields. Your white mare is a little faster than his horse, but you hardly even notice. You can only concentrate on the wind blowing through your hair, letting your dress float gently behind you. The air feels liberating and you are amazed at the beauty of nature, the beauty of the island you call home but have seen so little of.

A little later you reach a white sandy beach, the waves calm, seagulls squalling in the distance. The sea suddenly smells completely different from what you are used to and you can't help but smile.

If this is what freedom feels like, you won't ever go back.

Finally, you bring your horse to a stop on the shore, scratching her head, and turn to Halbrand, who stops his stallion right in front of you. Your hair is all tousled by the wind, but Halbrand smiles at you so genuinely that your cheeks flush. Without saying a word, you hop off your mare's back and bend down to bury your hands in the sand. As Halbrand dismounts, you quickly take off your shoes, lift up the fabric of your dress a little, and wade into the shallow water, which laps warmly against your skin.

You can't remember the last time you felt the ocean. As a Númenorean, you are connected to the sea on a deeper level and it feels like, right now, it's showing you how much it's missed you, like you're reuniting with an old friend. The sun is high above you, warming your skin as you close your eyes and enjoy the moment. Then you jump around the water playfully and with so much joy you haven't felt since you were a child.

Until you meet Halbrand's gaze. He is still standing where you left him, the reins of both horses in his hand, watching you enjoy yourself with so much affection in his eyes that you want nothing more than to run to him and fall into his arms, chasing the exhilarating feeling he gave you the day before.

Shyly, you slowly walk back to him through the ankle-deep water, your dress a little wet at the bottom.

"Enjoying yourself?", he asks with a smile, one hand scratching his horse behind the ears as he looks you up and down with sparkling eyes.

"Not exactly princess-like behaviour now, is it?", you shrug, eliciting a chuckle from him that gives you goosebumps and makes your heart beat faster.

"If you want my humble opinion: I think it's exactly how a princess should behave", he replies, the wrinkles around his eyes from smiling making him even more handsome in your eyes. "You shouldn't have to hide from the world."

"I wish I could come here more often", you sigh, ignoring his statement, your mood suddenly burdened by the thought that this moment of freedom will not last long and you will soon find yourself locked up inside the walls of the castle again. Halbrand's expression matches yours, but his gaze lays you bare. Feeling weak, you turn away. You stumble through the sand and finally flop onto the ground on a small dune, neatly placing your shoes next to you. Halbrand leaves the horses in your sight and joins you, sitting just a few meters next to you, your elbows touching.

For a while, neither of you says anything and you just stare out at the waves, which radiate a certain calm.

"As a child, I was very sick. An unidentified illness that was brought over from the continent. Despite having overcome it, I remained in a very weak state, requiring assistance with everything. I was not allowed to go out neither were people allowed to see me for fear of infecting me again. I was always surrounded by guards", you explain, your voice strong, but you have to pull yourself together not to sob. "Míriel was the only one who stood by my side, who made my time a little more bearable. Since our father.. has fallen sick, my sister feels even more responsible for my safety and, just like him, doesn't let me go out. She says it's for my own good and I once believed that, a long time ago. But now I doubt her concern is rooted in anything else than her own fear of losing me."

As soon as the last words leave your lips, you feel free. Free from the burden of not being able to tell anyone. But saying it out loud makes it feel so much more real. Still, pride fills you that you didn't shed a single tear. Halbrand, who was hanging on your every word, looks at you not with pity or sadness, but with a smile.

"Thank you for confiding in me. I can hardly imagine how hard that must have been for you", he tells you, speaking as if all of this is no longer your present. Maybe it's not right now, but it will be once you return.

"I have been wondering why you were locked up inside your whole life", he mutters to himself and takes a handful of sand, letting it trickle through his fingers. "And despite the prospect of freedom, you are against this marriage?"

His words hit you harder than they should, because you have to admit that you haven't given it a thought since yesterday.

"It's about her treating me like I'm a commodity that can be sold for a price", you answer, anger rising inside of you at the thought. "Either she keeps me here and risks a war or she finally lets me leave, with the ulterior motive that I at least bring some added value to Númenor. Besides, no one ever said that I would come with you once we were married."

"You think she would keep you here?", Halbrand asks, astonished. When you nod, something like determination paints his features.

"I won't allow that."

"I fear none of us will have much say in this", you sigh, exhausted and defeated, absentmindedly playing with the sand now as well. "I'm sorry you have to put up with a princess who knows nothing about this world, let alone has seen anything-"

"Don't say that", Halbrand interrupts you firmly, his eyebrows drawn together as if it physically hurts him to hear such words coming from your mouth. "You are perfect in my eyes, Princess."

You are glad he can't see the way your heart has started beating faster. What he can see, however, is the blush rising to your cheeks, which you quickly try to hide by turning your head away, pulling your knees closer to you.

"I feel like no one has ever told you how beautiful you are. In every way", he continues and you are startled when you feel his hand on your chin, gently turning your face back to him. You find it difficult to look at him, his eyes are looking at you so intensely that you no longer know which way is up and which way is down.

"Lord Halb-"

"What did I tell you about the Lord?", he chuckles, shaking his head at your cute behaviour. He loves the colour of pink your cheeks have taken on and how your eyes search his for any sign that he is lying, but you find nothing but the truth in them.

"When I told you that a princess like you doesn't belong here, I meant that a princess like you, who should be a queen, doesn't belong on this island, isolated from the world", Halbrand whispers, his hand moving from your chin to your cheek, where he gently strokes your heated skin with his thumb. "You belong in the very middle of it."

"N-No. I could never be a queen, I was not born for that", you explain, confident in your own words because it's all you have ever heard in your entire life; you would never be queen.

"I will make you a queen", he replies and the conviction with which he says this, the affection that resonates in his words and his features, makes you believe in his words. You desperately want to believe them.

"I promise I will not go without bringing you along", he assures you, holding your face in both of his hands now, his face so close to yours that you only have to lean forward a little to taste his lips. Halbrand notices this too, his gaze wanders to your lips and back to your eyes, which meet his almost pleadingly. As soon as you slightly nod, he connects your lips in a gentle but longing kiss. You gasp, never having been kissed before. Your heart feels like it will jump out of your chest at any moment, the sound of the waves blurs with your heartbeat and your hands get lost in his hair.

The kiss only lasts a few seconds, both of you having to catch your breath, but you don't want to let go of him. You have no idea what this man, this inconspicuous King of the Southlands, is doing to you, but you don't want to think about it because all you know is that you finally feel like yourself again, a feeling that seems so familiar yet unknown.

"I promise I will make you a queen and if it's the last thing I do", Halbrand tells you once more, leaning his forehead against yours before leaving a gentle kiss on the side of your mouth. Smiling up at him, you waste no time to wrap your arms around his neck and connect your lips in another kiss.

You take a moment to take in the disaster, but hiss when you suddenly feel a stabbing pain in your abdomen. The climb up here has cost you an enormous amount of strength and you can't even formulate a coherent thought anymore. You look down at yourself, your precious dress dirty and torn. Trembling, you remove your hand from the wound on your stomach, where an arrow had pierced your flesh just a few moments ago. You broke it off in agony and tried to stop the blood with your hand, but you continue to lose blood, causing you to stagger a little.

You are not a fighter, you are a simple elf and resident of Eregion. Never in your eternal life would you have expected to see Eregion fall. And its Lord with it.

Celebrimbor has been entirely dedicated to the creation of the Rings of Power. For the past few weeks he has been left in solitude to end what he started. You gave him the time and space he needed. And prayed that he finishes his work before it finishes him, as Lord Annatar put it. But what did all these precautions ultimately lead to? You stood there, watching your only home get destroyed. You stood there, watching your best friend fall to her death by the hand of Celebrimbor. You stood there and let him accuse Annatar of the most atrocious deeds.

Annatar, who sacrificed so much for him, for this city. Annatar, who always helped everyone in need, who did not shy away from standing up against the Lord of Eregion or fighting for the well-being of the elves.

Annatar, who captured your heart.

Which is why you find yourself on top of a mountain right now and not in the middle of a fight for life or death. Celebrimbor's mind is gone. And the proof lies right in front of you, your beautiful, breathtaking Eregion - nothing more than rubble and ashes.

All you knew is that you had to follow him.

'Stay', Annatar told you with his beautiful shining eyes in which you discovered the stars. 'You are safe here.'

You nodded. And still followed him.

And now you understand why you should have listened to him. As you turn around and look into the forest that is at the top of the mountain, you see him standing there, his sword drawn. But he is not alone. At first you thought that your eyes were playing tricks on you, that the heavy loss of blood was confusing your thoughts, causing you to hallucinate, but you actually see Galadriel standing opposite him.

Not only that, they are also surrounded by orcs who are just waiting for the order to attack. An order from none other than Adar, who is slowly walking towards Annatar now as well, with his weapon drawn.

"No", you gasp under your breath, stumbling your way toward them. You take one painful step after the other. They haven't noticed you yet, the trees covering you protectively. Breathing heavily, you lean against a broad trunk, a few steps already exhausting your weak body, Annatar's words wafting over to you more and more clearly the closer you get. You swallow hard, but as you want to turn to them, your gaze is caught by an orc lying dead on the ground, his blade capturing the sunlight breaking through the treetops.

Carefully, you approach the creature and grab its weapon in a swift movement. The handle of the sword feels heavy in your hands and you would rather drop it immediately. But you have to somehow make sure that you can defend yourself if necessary. Once again, you breathe in and move on.

Galadriel and Adar are facing Annatar together now, apparently coming to a silent agreement to focus their attention on Annatar for the time being. Once you realize this betrayal, your weakend heart beats faster. Because how can Galadriel of the Ñoldor, daughter of the Golden House of Finarfin, Commander of the Northern Armies of High King Gil-galad, side with this monster? With the man who is responsible for numerous deaths, for the destruction of Eregion? Whose orcs are currently ravaging an entire city, dividing families and carrying elven souls on their conscience.

Blinking your tears away that well up in your eyes at the thought and sight of it, you try to steady your steps. When you were just a little elf, you looked up to Galadriel, but now you don't recognize her anymore, from the stories you were once told. The only thing that calms you down a little is the fact that Annatar doesn't seem surprised by this turn of events at all. He stands there, his dark armour swallowing the rays of sunshine, his sword lying loosely in his hand. If you didn't know better, you imagine that you can even see a mischievous, knowing smile on his lips from the distance.

In a high arc, Galadriel swings her sword at Annatar and thus opens the fight. Annatar, however, dodges the attack skillfully, making it look like it was not even remotely dangerous for him. In contrast, Galadriel has to parry his blows with great effort. You didn't know that Annatar was such a good fighter, but it seems like he always has a trick up his sleeve.

Even when Adar joins the fight and Annatar now has to dodge two life threatening blades, he is not challenged at all. Although you wonder how long he can keep this up. No matter how good of a fighter he is, immortal or not, the odds are clearly against him. That is why you look around for help, searching for something that could potentially aid him in this battle. However, all you see is a lot of orcs standing at the other end of the clearing, idly watching the spectacle. Fearing that they might spot you, you step back in order to be hidden from their view by the thick trunk of a tree. Or so you hope.

As you move, a branch cracks under your boots. The sound is barely audible, but Annatar's gaze meets yours in an instant and his eyes widen almost imperceptibly. It only takes that one split-second glance for him to discover that you are badly injured. That you are bleeding. And that you have disobeyed his words, his direct order.

Although he is only distracted for a tiny second, Galadriel takes this chance and strikes, hitting Annatar's face with the tip of her sword, which inevitably makes you gasp aloud in shock. Now Galadriel and Adar definitely noted your presence, the orcs as well, but you can only watch in silence as a tiny droplet of blood runs from the cut on Annatar's cheek.

"Leave! This is not your fight", Galadriel calls over to you, breathing heavily, her face and golden hair dirty. Her expression screams at you to go. Adar, on the other hand, looks at you with pity. And Annatar looks like he is about to burn the whole world down. In one swift move, he attacks Galadriel again, unable to believe that she has actually shed his blood.

You are forced to tear your eyes away from the fight, however, when you suddenly hear snarling and footsteps on the leaf-covered ground to your left. Your presence on top of the mountain seems to have peaked the orcs' interest.

Sharp pain shoots through your entire body as you lean your back against the tree trunk in order to hide your body from their view. You close your eyes to be able to discern their sounds better, breathing heavily. Gripping the hilt of the sword tightly with both hands, pressing it against your breasts with the blade pointing towards the ground, you stand there completely motionless. At least you try to, but the sword almost slips from your hands, your palms slick with your own blood, making it all the more difficult to hold on to. Your breathing is still louder and faster than you wish and you know that the creatures can smell your blood from miles away anyway.

They talk to each other as they get closer to you, completely ignoring their father's fight in the promising prospect of prey. When they are about to reach the tree behind which you are hiding, a command rings out through the thicket and the orcs look to its source and so do you. Before you can even realize what is happening, however, a blade suddenly pierces through Adar's upper body, causing the orcs to roar loudly. In an instant, they all charge towards the two figures that are still standing, Annatar's sword stained with black blood. To your surprise, not all of the orcs attack their father's murderer; some of them suddenly stab Adar, who has collapsed on the ground, with their own weapons.

They stab him again and again, black blood splattering everywhere. Bile rises in your throat, which you quickly swallow as you turn away from the horrifying sight.

When you hear your name across the clearing, however, you spot Annatar, who comes running towards you, the momentary chaos apparently enabling him to escape from the action as he reaches his hand out to you.

"You need to leave. Now", he orders, but you just shake your head with tear-filled eyes, which earns you a stoic but compassionate and sad look from him. He opens his mouth to reply, but doesn't get the chance when you suddenly see an orc charging towards you. With all your strength, you push Annatar away from you, so that the orc's axe lands in the tree trunk between the two of you. The sudden movement makes you dizzy and you almost fall to the ground if Annatar didn't grab your upper arm in the last second and pulled you up against him. The orc, now dead by his blade, lies to your feet.

The battlefield that stretches out before you is terrible: Adar's lifeless, blood-soaked body lies on the ground, Galadriel has to defend herself against some orcs, but the majority of them are attacking each other, apparently not agreeing on which orders they should follow now that Adar is dead. Some of them come towards you as well, not understanding their dead brother's warning. Annatar quickly grabs your hand and walks ahead, his body serving as a protective shield for you.

If you can't protect yourself, he will have to.

Together you fight your way through the charging orcs, whom Annatar defeats without much effort, so that you find yourself facing Galadriel again. She stands in front of you, dead orcs to her feet, one hand on her hip as she is obviously quite out of breath. When she spots you behind Annatar's back, her eyes widen.

"You're on the wrong side", she whispers through clenched teeth and slowly moves to the right, as if she wants to circle her prey. Annatar squeezes your hand briefly and then lets go so that he can fully concentrate on the fight in front of him. Before that, however, he signals you to move a little farther away, which you do immediately.

"Where are the rings?", he asks her, keeping a close eye on her, waiting for her next move. Meanwhile, you are struggling to ignore how the remaining orcs behind them are still fighting each other to death.

Instead of answering him, Galadriel sprints towards him with a battle cry and their swords meet several times. The force behind it causes Annatar to stumble a few steps backwards, towards you. Your vision is now so blurred, the pain running through your whole body so numbing, that you hardly notice it. You only vaguely perceive Annatar moving on to the next attack. Exhausted, you squeeze your eyes shut in the hope that the fog will clear from your vision. But it is to no avail. Everything is still blurry.

What you do see, however, is a small pouch lying next to the spot where Galadriel and Annatar are currently fighting. Narrowing your eyes, you try to discern what it could be, until Annatar's previous words come to your mind.

The rings. Galadriel must have lost them in the fight without noticing.

Making up your mind, you stumble a few weak, trembling steps towards it, away from the seemingly endless fight. When you reach the small pouch, you fall to your knees and carefully take it in your shaking hands. When you peak inside, several beautiful rings shine at you, enveloping you in their spell for a moment.

A moment it takes for an orc to stand in front of you with his raised blade after spotting you with the rings. A moment in which you can only raise your head and look the beast in the eye. Then his blood splatters everywhere, covering you in it, when his head is suddenly separated from the rest of his body with a clean cut. He would have ended your life here and now. You let out a frightened scream and frantically scramble to stand up when you feel a gentle touch on your arm. Looking deep into Annatar's eyes, you try to thank him for saving your life once again, but your vocal cords are not able to form any coherent words.

Then, everything happens very quickly. Out of the corner of your eye you see Galadriel rushing towards the two of you, her sword drawn. As if time moves very slowly, your gaze wanders to the man in front of you, who is unaware of the impending danger. Because his focus was on you, on protecting you. Without thinking twice, you tug on his arm, pulling him in your direction, and walk towards Galadriel yourself, throwing your beaten body between them.

You exhale in shock as her sword pierces right through your middle.

"NO!", you hear Annatar cry out loudly, anger and sadness mingling in his voice which breaks at the end. Galadriel, who is just as shocked as you are, stands in front of you with tears in her eyes. Her hand around her sword is trembling.

"I- I-", she stammers, but doesn't get much further as Annatar pushes her away with so much force that she flies through the air. She hits the ground and remains there, motionless. Gasping for breath, you fall to the ground as well, no longer able to hold yourself upright. Involuntarily, your hand goes to where the sword is still sticking out of you.

It hurts. It hurts so much that you can't even shed a tear, your breath catching in your throat. Black dots appear in your vision, covering the blue sky like stars. But then Annatar's face appears in front of you and they suddenly disappear.

"Stay with me. You hear me? Don't go", he shouts at you as he kneels next to you and bends over your fragile body, gently lifting you so that he can place your head on his lap. "No, no, no", he whispers quietly to himself, his hand wandering over your upper body without touching it, as if he could only do more damage otherwise.

You can't do anything but lie there, your throat too dry to choke out another word. The sun shining from behind Annatar's head makes him look like an angel, bringing a gentle smile to your chapped lips. With a trembling hand you lift the little pouch, which you still had in a firm grip, up to him.

Annatar's eyes widen and as soon as he feels the rings in his hand, he discards them. He feels your willpower leaving. Desperate for help, he looks around, thinking about how he could help you, how he could save you. But Galadriel is gone, with her one of the elven rings which might have given you a slim chance of survival. And he can't use the Nine because he personally made sure that they were corrupted.

"Why would you do that?", he asks you now, sounding so defeated, not understanding how you could give your life for his so thoughtlessly. If only you had known that he is not easy to kill, that his immortality cannot be threatened by a simple sword.

And yet here you are, on your way to the Halls of Mandos in Valinor.

"You can't leave me", Annatar says almost reproachfully, his hand gently stroking your still soft hair. His eyes, which look deep into yours, are getting glassier each moment. He simply can't accept that you are leaving him now, that you are leaving him alone, the only person who ever truly cared for him. Who made his cold heart of stone a little warmer, a little softer.

You were supposed to be his. His and only his forever.

"Leithio nin¹", your weak voice whispers in Sindarin, your hand searching for his and finally enveloping it on top of your slow beating heart. You tell him to release you, to release you from this pain, and yet he can't fathom how he should ever be able to let you go.

"I will bring you back. We will meet again, I will make sure of that. I promise. Even if I have to burn down the whole of Middle-earth just to see you again", he says, giving you one last promise which you consider with a small smile, your eyes heavy. You look at him closely one more time, to memorize his face for eternity, your trembling hand reaching for him. Before you can touch him one last time, feel his soft skin beneath your fingertips, your eyes close forever.

"Gi melin²", Annatar sobs, the words following you along on your journey before your last breath finally leaves you and your body goes limp in his arms. He puts his forehead against yours, pulling you as close to him as possible, rocking you, and a single tear finds its way down his cheek.

After just a few seconds, the sadness inside him mixes with anger. With unrelenting, burning anger. He will make everyone suffer for his loss.

He meant every word he said. He will bring you back, no matter what it takes.

And the One Ring will help him.

¹ Release me

With a smile, you turn around to greet your husband. Annatar steps out of the darkness of the door into the light, his long hair shimmering despite him only returning at this late hour of the day. His gaze is stoic at first, tense, but as soon as he meets your gaze, his features soften and a gentle smile tugs at the corners of his mouth as he finds you there on the balcony in the moonlight. Waiting for him.

"I hope you didn't have to wait too long for me, my lady", he states elegantly, bowing his head with an amused look, before walking towards you with slow steps. Your body is wrapped in a white, soft dress, your long elvish hair falls smoothly over your shoulders and your neck is adorned by a filigree necklace.

"I would wait an eternity for you", you reply, and every word you say is filled with truth. Annatar knows that too so when he finally reaches you, his kiss is full of longing and passion. But also of affection.

There is noone else for him but you.

His hands hold you tightly at your waist while your own cup his face in an attempt to pull him even closer to you.

He literally takes your breath away, but it is he who breaks the kiss after several breathless moments, not you. Gently, he leans his forehead against yours and reaches for your hand, looking down at the shiny ring on your finger. The one ring that you will never take off ever again.

Then his hand wanders over your delicate skin, from your forearm to your shoulders, over your collarbone until he reaches your neck. His gaze is inspecting, as if he is looking for something. Something that he finally seems to find in your smooth hair. He gently pushes all your hair back over your shoulder so that your collarbone is fully exposed now.

"You are so beautiful", he whispers softly, but for some reason it looks as if this realization torments him deeply. In his blue eyes you see nothing than pure affection despite his torn expression, flames licking at his irises.

Although you are used to being touched and complimented by him, an immense heat burns up inside you. Even more so when he gently turns you around and runs his fingers through your hair.

"Tell me about your day, my love", he asks you, whispering closely to your ear as your gaze wanders over Eregion once more. As you begin to talk about your day, he continues to comb his fingers through your hair, leaving no strand unregarded. His touch, the whole gentleness and intimacy of it all, sends shivers down your whole body.

Carefully, Annatar starts braiding your hair, putting his entire focus to it. And you know everything he ever touches turns into pure perfection.

"Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve you", he suddenly interrupts your story and fixes your braided hairstyle with a clip drawn from his own hair. The bow that you carefully created out of his hair at the back of his head this morning falls apart, his hair falling into his face.

He steps in front of you now, the moon behind him giving him a halo from your point of view. All you see is him. All you feel is him.

With his fingertips, he finishes the hairstyle by pulling a few strands loose at the sides of your face. You watch him with a smile, not able to hold it back, as well as with a pounding heart. His finger slides from your temple to your chin, leaving warm spots on your skin on its wake, and lifts it, his face coming closer to yours.

"I often ask myself the same thing", you reply to his previous statement, playfully curling one of his long strands of hair around your own finger.

Annatar's eyes switch back and forth between yours, every now and then catching a glimpse at your lips. Then a genuine smile lights up his face before he leans down and unites your lips in another intense kiss.

With his arms crossed, he stands on the gallery on the other side of the forge, his gaze never leaving your figure as he watches your every move. Annatar has seen many hardworking elves over the decades, but such great dedication and drive for perfection surprises even him. He couldn't take his eyes off you even if he wanted to. You mesmerize him.

A slight smile pulls at the corners of his mouth as he watches you examine your creation, the wonder that is the result of the finest of elven arts.

Not entirely satisfied with your work, you reach for the next tool, but flinch when a hand is suddenly placed on top of yours, preventing you from picking it up. The moment your hands touch, a spark shoots through your body. A feeling that you can't quite describe flows through your veins. It is the same feeling you experience every time he enters a room. Startled, you look up at his face, his eyes flashing maliciously for a moment, and breathe a sigh of relief.

"I didn't mean to startle you, my lady", Annatar says softly, his tall and broad frame almost hovering over you as he stands so close to you.

"Oh, you.. didn't. I just thought I was alone. I didn't think anyone would still be here. Except for Lord Celebrimbor, of course", you answer, feeling a blush creep onto your cheeks beneath his unyielding gaze. You lower your head, not sure what reaction to expect from him as he just stares at you from above.

The hand that lays on top of yours slides across the table to the ring. You watch as he slowly and carefully removes the ring from its holder and finally brings it in front of his face to examine it up close. Not sure if he is pleased, you nervously play with your hands and don't dare to look at his face.

"Breathtaking", you finally hear his soft voice say in a whisper, which makes you look up and, to your surprise, he looks directly at you. With a genuine smile, he nods at the ring he holds between his thumb and index finger. "You've done a wonderful job. Celebrimbor is lucky to have you in his forge."

"Oh, you think too highly of me. I appreciate your words but Lord Celebrimbor himself did most of the work. He is the master of this forge and the maker of these rings. I just gave this one the finishing touches."

"And you did an impeccable job", he marvels, an unmistakable sparkle in his eyes.

These words make the slight blush spread further across your face. Annatar gently reaches for your hand and guides it upwards so that he can carefully place the ring on your palm. With a frown, you observe this movement, feeling how the tips of his fingers slightly graze your palm as he places the ring inside. Once more, you feel that sudden pull, not overpowering but distinctly noticeable.

For a few seconds you stare at each other without another word, your hand remaining in the same position. The slight smirk that surrounds his lips, the wrinkles that form around his eyes because of it - all of this makes your heart beat faster for some inexplicable reason. You need a moment, a moment he clearly enjoys, to break free from your trance. In an attempt to escape this situation, you look in all directions while smoothing down the fine fabric of your dress, desperately searching for something to say or do.

"I- I think I should get back to my work", you finally say at the exact same time as Annatar softly whispers: "You have the face of a queen."

"W-What?", you ask, surprised and not sure if you heard his words correctly. He stares straight into your eyes for another moment before lowering his head with a smile, his long hair falling from his shoulders in front of his face as he takes a step back and hides his hands behind his back.

"Keep up your good work and one day you will be as great as your master", are the last words he says before he turns around and slowly leaves the forge. You watch him go, hoping that he will turn around once again and tell you more, but he just disappears through the large doors. What remains hidden from your sight, however, is the wicked smile he wears on his lips upon leaving.

"A queen?", you whisper quietly to yourself once the doors close behind him. You look around, meeting the eyes of Celebrimbor who is currently looking down at you from his gallery with narrowed eyes. Softly smiling at him, you turn back to your workbench and look down at yourself, shaking your head in denial.

You must have misheard.

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The darkness that surrounds you is frightening. The small flame that suddenly appears in front of you seems to attract you, but the closer you get, the bigger the flame becomes. Eventually it turns so big that a monstrous creature rears up in front of you, letting out a deafening scream. Its flaming skin blinds you, its merciless eyes searching for prey. Helplessly, you grab the first objects you can find in an attempt to defend yourself against this dark being.

Until, suddenly, you stand in front of Celebrimbor, one of the rings created for men in his hand. You gasp for air and stumble back a few steps, hyperventilating as you are in complete shock. As you back up, trying to escape from everyone's stares, you bump into someone and if it weren't for him placing his hands on your arms to steady you, you would have fallen over. Meeting Annatar's gentle eyes when you look up to identify your saviour, a certain calm flows through you immediately. He looks down at you, his brow furrowed as he sees you in such a distraught state.

"What happened?", Celebrimbor asks you, his hand reaching out in a hopeless attempt to calm you down, but you flinch away.

"I was in a place similar to this one. But.. shrouded in mist and utter darkness. I saw.. flames, a huge fire. At first, I thought it was the forge, but.. it was alive. Tall, and its skin was made of flames. I-It was surrounded by death. I was surrounded by death. I looked into its eyes and.. and saw..", you try to make sense of the otherwordly experience, walking around in dismay, finding Annatar's face as his concerned gaze meets yours. "I think it's been here among us, all along."

For a split second, Annatar seems to be taken aback by your statement. However, his face shows immediate concern again as he steps closer to you, slowly, careful not to scare you away.

"You are with us now. There's nothing to fear", he states, giving you an encouraging smile. "Look around. All is well."

Staring at him, you have to blink several times to realize that everything you saw wasn't real. That the ring just overpowered you. And yet, your body bears the scars of it. You look around, see the faces of the other elves, of your master, of your friends, all of who are looking at you with such concern as if you were about to die on the battlefield. Feeling weak, you take another staggering step backwards and lower your head in the process, your hand on your chest where your heart is still trembling violently. You fight back the tears as you slowly sink onto the steps behind you and feel grateful that Annatar is answering Celebrimbor's justified questions about how things could have gone so terribly wrong in the first place.

From the distance, you hear him explaining that you used more mithril in order to protect the men from the immense power of the rings. Deep down, you knew that it wouldn't work, and yet Annatar convinced you all to try it regardless since Celebrimbor wouldn't offer his help in forging the Nine.

You only look up again when everyone has dispersed, leaving the forge after the eventful evening. Everyone except for Celebrimbor and Annatar. The Lord of Eregion kneels down in front of you and when you try to get up quickly because you never meant for him to fall to his knees for you, he gently pushes you back down. It is apparent that he doesn't know what to say, so he just forces a smile, full of pity and regret, onto his face and gives you several encouraging pats on the shoulder before standing up again, ascending the steps to his gallery.

You look after him, your eyes still glassy, and when you turn around again, you are slightly startled by the hand that is now hovering right in front of your face. You can still see worry flicker in Annatar's eyes, even as you take his hand and let him help you up.

"I'm sorr-"

"You are very brave", Annatar interrupts you immediately, making your eyes widen in an instant. How can he say that when you can barely stand upright even now? But all you can see in his eyes is that he is telling you the truth, that it is actually what he believes.

"Some who behold the Unseen world are never quite at home in this one again", he tells you, looking down at your trembling hands that you quickly hide behind your back.

"Have you seen it?", you ask in Sindarin, wondering why he seems to know so much about it. As an answer, Annatar nods with a sorrowful smile.

"In its light, things appear as they truly are. Beings of differing shades of light. And its darkness", he continues, his hand gently moving down your arm, bringing your hand to the front again. "It pains me to say, for what you saw, I did not wish for any of you to see until I had helped him to heal."

Briefly distracted by his surprisingly tender touch, you watch as he wraps his larger hand around yours to prevent it from shaking. Once you have processed his words, however, you gasp slightly and search his eyes for any signs that what he says is true.

"You mean.. You speak of.. Lord Celebrimbor?", you ask in disbelief, looking up at the gallery where he just disappeared to. You hear Annatar only from afar, telling you how 'vulnerable to the shadow' Celebrimbor is.

"Promise me you will speak to none other of it. Including him", you hear him say more clearly now as he uses Sindarin, a language he usually does not speak to you.

"I promise", you nod, feeling the warmth spread through your body from where his hand is holding yours tightly. You look at him as he gives you another smile, something he seems to do a lot around you lately, and force one onto your own lips as well. His sharp features are illuminated by the warm fire of the forge on one side, the other is shrouded in darkness. The fire, crackling and peaceful, however, does not warm you at all, only his thumb, which gently runs over the back of your hand, manages to do so and it seems like the light is now meeting the entirety of his face.

Unable to hold his soft gaze any longer, you turn away. You look around the forge, worried about Celebrimbor. If what Annatar is telling you is in fact true, then..

You desperately want to help Celebrimbor, but you don't know how or if you are even able to. So you tell yourself that it is probably better to leave this task to the Lord of Gifts.

While you are deep in your thoughts, you suddenly feel Annatar's fingers on your chin, guiding your face back to his so you look at him. With his other hand, he tucks a strand of your long elven hair behind your pointed ear, his eyes fixed on yours.

"You needn't worry, my lady", he says in a low voice, his hand cupping your cheek.

"I'm not a-"

"You are to me", he interrupts once more, not letting you finish, and you feel his face getting even closer to yours. His eyes focus on your lips as he comes closer and takes in all your senses completely, your thoughts are silenced and you close your eyes. When you open them again a little later, suddenly feeling a bitter cold, you see him standing far away from you, at the doors to the forge.

"Stay here. Keep an eye on him while I'm gone", are his last words before he leaves, leaving you cold and speechless, your thoughts and feelings a complete mess.

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You can't recall how long you have been working on these rings. After what happened to you, Celebrimbor thought it would be better to banish all other elves from the forge so as not to cause any more damage. He wanted to send you away too, but Annatar convinced him otherwise. And Annatar told you that you are safe here, in the forge. Although you have to admit that you are wondering from what exactly you are safe. Because watching Celebrimbor step further into the darkness each passing day is far from any kind of safety. At one point, he even forgot your name.

You are utterly exhausted and have not left the forge for weeks, partly out of fear for your master.

A sudden loud clattering noise jolts you from your position. Looking around in confusion, you notice that you seem to have fallen asleep at your workbench, one of the rings for men glittering in front of you. Another loud noise reminds you why you were woken up in the first place and you quickly run up the stairs, gripping the fabric of your dress in your hands so you don't trip on it. Once at the top, you search for the source of the disturbing noises and finally find Celebrimbor sitting on the floor, motionless. Startled, you stop dead in your tracks and only approach slowly when he shows no reaction to your arrival.

"Lord Celebrimbor?", you ask into the void, but he just stares at a spot on the ground. "What happened?", you continue, seeing Fëanor's hammer lying on the ground next to him, some vessels broken on the ground.

You carefully walk towards him and finally sit down right next to him, not knowing what to do or say. You speak to him several times, but each time you are greeted with silence. As you look at him worriedly, you can see tears that are threatening to escape his eyes, his hands trembling. Placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, you feel utterly helpless.

Until you suddenly notice movement out of the corner of your eye and are surprised to see that you didn't hear Annatar enter the forge and come up here.

The sight of him finally gives you hope. Your heart beats a little faster, just like every time you met since that one faithful day where you got so dangerously close. You can't explain what he does to you, but he has enchanted you and you feel an endless emptiness when he isn't with you. His appearance in the forge is the highlight of your day, when you create the rings together and exchange loving glances here and there. You can't describe your feelings, but secretly you hope that he feels the same.

Annatar's gaze wanders first to you, then to Celebrimbor, obviously upset that he is not working on the rings like he should.

"The rings. Are they finished?", he asks in a serious voice, his gaze fixed on the elven smith. In response, Celebrimbor only shushes him.

"Wait for it", Celebrimbor whispers with a smile on his lips that sends a shiver down your spine. Exchanging a concerned look with Annatar, you place your right hand around Celebrimbor's forearm as if this could somehow bring him back to his senses. Whatever is going on, you absolutely do not like it.

"Wait for what?", Annatar inquires to know and Celebrimbor points to the spot he has been staring at all this time. There, you are surprised to see a tiny mouse making its way across the floor, its nose in the air, probably searching for something to eat. His finger remains pointed at the small creature as he comments its scurrying with a humourless chuckle. As if expecting some kind of reaction, he finally looks up at Annatar who meets his unusual behaviour with a smile. Meanwhile, it has you even more worried.

"Captivating", is all Annatar says, his hands behind his back as if he observed such strange behaviour every day. Briefly, he looks over to you, his gaze apologetic but there is even more to it. This quick glance also reminds you of what he indicated at before: that Celebrimbor's mind is, slowly but surely, descending into dangerous territories. Memories of raging flames enter your mind and you remove your hand from him as if you burned yourself.

"It is a pattern", Celebrimbor continues, looking at Annatar until he apparently doesn't get the reaction he wanted and therefore decides to address you instead. "Do you not see? A cycle. Repeating itself at intervals throughout the day."

"I..", you start, but clearly Celebrimbor isn't finished yet.

"And there is more." With that, he abruptly gets up and goes to his workbench, rambling on. However, you have trouble following his words because nothing he says makes sense to you: You have seen this mouse for the first time today, the coal is almost completely extinguished by now and the candle has also mostly burned down. But Celebrimbor looks at you with such conviction that you feel incredibly sorry. You desperately want to believe him, but all that is repeating itself in your head is what the ring showed you.

You don’t know what to say and Annatar has trouble calming the blacksmith down as well. Finally, you decide to carefully approach Celebrimbor who is now standing in front of some of the rings on his workbench, his shoulders hunched.

"Lord Celebrimbor.."

Before you can reach him, however, he turns around angrily, the table he's leaning on rattling from the force.

"What have you done to me?!", he shouts at the Lord of Gifts, tears threatening to spill over. There is enormous hate and anger in his voice, but all you can hear is fear. He repeats his words over and over again until he suddenly picks up a hammer and misses Annatar by just a few inches. The tool breaks the window behind him with a loud shatter. In complete shock, you look at your master with wide eyes, only to realize that he suddenly seems paralyzed.

You use this opportunity to approach him again and slowly walk towards him, but his gaze is fixed on the broken window behind Annatar. You gently grab Celebrimbor's arm, but your touch suddenly tears him out of his paralysis. He violently pulls his arm away from you and stumbles to the doors to the balcony, opening them to let in the bright light of day.

You want to go to him again, wanting to find out what got into him, but this time a hand closes around your wrist and pulls you back, stopping you. When you look back, Annatar shakes his head in pity. So you both watch as Celebrimbor begins to silently sob on the balcony. His whole body shakes and as he backs away he almost stumbles to the ground. He looks around the entire forge and looks like he's about to lose his composure entirely.

"Lord Celebrimbor. Please, tell me what's wrong. I don't understand..", you ask, worried, and, despite Annatar's warning, walk towards him, your hands on your chest, over your aching heart.

"You don't hear it?" Only now does he seem to notice you again, to really see you.

You blink several times at this strange question. Right now, you find it very difficult to follow his words and although you really did not believe in what Annatar told you until now - you didn't want to believe it - everything seems to point to exactly that: the creation of the rings has driven Celebrimbor's mind into the dark abyss. Because the only thing you hear is the peaceful chirping of birds outside and the crackling of the fire still burning.

"I don't hear anything", you say in a low voice that breaks at the end. Seeing him like this and not being able to help deeply wounds you. At your words, Celebrimbor's glassy eyes widen almost imperceptibly and he lets out a shaky breath, stumbling closer to you.

"Y-You.. You don't?", he asks, now directly in front of you, his voice trembling. You shake your head apologetically.

"But.. But the debris almost killed you! Look, it hit right where you were working just a moment ago. T-The whole forge is in ruins. And you are.. You are bleeding", Celebrimbor rambles on, tears running down his cheeks upon seeing your incredulous expression. He swallows hard as he gently strokes your forehead with his thumb as if he were wiping something away. But the next moment Annatar is standing right behind you, forcefully grabbing Celebrimbor's wrist and thus stops him in his movement.

"Don't dare touch her", he says through gritted teeth. "You can't be trusted in your current condition, friend."

Celebrimbor's hand, which Annatar has firmly in his grip, is right in front of your face and you notice that there is no trace of blood on his finger. Unintentionally, you rub the spot he just touched and feel absolutely nothing.

"But she's bleeding! What have you done to us?!", Celebrimbor suddenly defends himself vehemently and in an attempt to free his hand from Annatar's grip, he uses so much force that his hand suddenly collides with your face. The hard blow and the force behind it make you stumble to the side, your hand placed on your now throbbing cheek in shock. Tears sting your eyes and you look up in fear, right into Annatar's enraged face.

"I wish you hadn't done this", he says with so much wrath in his voice that it makes you shudder. He rolls his shoulders before turning to the Lord of Eregion with these words. Celebrimbor, however, looks just as shocked as you.

"I- I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to hurt her! You have to believe me!", Celebrimbor sobs violently and reaches out his hand to you, but he doesn't get far because Annatar immediately pushes him in the opposite direction, bringing him to the floor. While Celebrimbor scrambles to get up, Annatar is stomping towards him with determination in his eyes, his fist raised. But once he hears your soft, trembling voice, he instantly pauses.

"Don't!", you cry out in despair. Annatar looks at you, sees the fear hiding in your eyes, and finally makes a decision. He lets go of Celebrimbor and quickly comes back to you, helping your trembling frame to stand upright.

"Everything is going to be alright. He can't hurt you anymore", he comforts you, his eyes searching yours for any signs of how you are feeling. Carefully, he lifts your hand, which is still on your cheek, only to find a red bruise that makes the anger inside him boil. Snorting heavily, his nostrils flaring, he tries to suppress this anger. You, however, try to look past him to catch a look at Celebrimbor, so Annatar takes your face in his hands and forces you to look at him.

"Look at me. You don't need to be afraid. You're safe with me", he reassures you and you nod slowly in response, your eyes still full of tears. Annatar gives you a small, sympathetic smile and tucks your hair behind your ear before he runs his thumb over the spot on your forehead that Celebrimbor had already touched earlier. His fingertip softly strokes your skin there, his face concentrated as he does so, but there is still no blood when he pulls his hand away. He then leans forward and places a feather-light kiss on your forehead, distracting you from the throbbing of your sore cheek.

"I'll take care of him", he finally declares, one hand gently stroking the back of your head, smoothing down your hair, the other hand holding yours. When he turns around to turn his attention back to Celebrimbor, however, you are both surprised to see that he is gone, the doors to the forge wide open. Annatar wants to immediately follow him, but your hand is still tightly entwined with his. Before you can say anything, he beats you to it.

"Do. Not. Follow. Us", he says urgently, emphasizing each word so you get the message, squeezing your hand. "Go to your chambers, but do not, under any circumstances, leave this tower."

The vehemence in his voice makes you nod, even though you're not even sure what he's protecting you from. His eyes are screaming at you to trust him, to obey his words, so you do. Smiling softly, he lifts your intertwined hands and places a kiss on the back of yours. Before he can turn to leave, however, you gather all your remaining courage and quickly grab his face, stand on your tiptoes, and kiss him. You have no idea what this cruel world has in store for you next, which is why you wanted to at least let him know how you feel. Since he kisses you back after overcoming his initial surprise, you assume that the feeling is mutual, mending your shattered heart a little.