Dream Journal 2017-04-19: The Reference Hotline For Aspiring Adventure Authors

Lots of people like to discuss how Indiana Jones is actually a terrible archaeologist. He was more akin to a looter or vandal than an actual archaeologist. But people still enjoy his globe-trotting adventures even though he is terrible at preserving history and understanding ancient cultures. Some of the people that know Indiana Jones is a terrible role model are also aspiring authors, and they want to write well-researched tales of adventure and derring-do that are reasonable within the constraints of true academic archaeology.

There is a phone number (in the dream) that these people can call when they need advice on how to proceed in their story. It's sort of like the Science Hotline for Screenwriters, but this phone number connects you to the world's most well-traveled archaeologist. He's perpetually in the field, often deep in some jungle. All he has are his wits and a satellite phone.

At the time the dream began in earnest, our unnamed archaeologist had accidentally stumbled upon a violent conflict between two tribes of indigenous people in the middle of the Amazon rainforest. The tribes are hurling spears and blow darts at each other and our unnamed archaeologist is caught in the crossfire. His phone rings in the middle of the conflict.

Reasonable people would not answer the phone until it was safe to do so, but this guy loves talking about archaeology so much that he's gonna answer that phone anyway (DANGER BE DAMNED!). He is asked a question about the significance of ziggurats in Mesopotamian culture. He gives a long and thorough answer that I don't remember because my Mesopotamian is a bit rusty. All the while, he is being chased by two different tribes through a jungle. The call continues as he is chased over a small cliff and crosses a fallen tree to get to the other side of a river.

That's where the dream ended for me, presumably because it wasn't safe for me to be there and there was probably too much action for me to keep track of. But if you ever find yourself calling the Science Hotline and you end up getting a scientist doing field work in the Amazon, you should listen. That dude really knows his stuff.

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