#sathurzo

The moving shadows cast a human shape I'm sure I can recognize

The bells keep ringing in my ears

Sounding both like an alarm clock and church bells on a wedding evening

A library with infinite books, all telling the same story

How the boy and the girl met and fell in love

Some books differ in the ending

Sadly, very few of them actually grow old together

Most of them involve war

Involve bloody hands

Necrotic limbs

Bumping heavy hearts

I remember how the stars looked back then

How grass was softer

And your lips drier

How your voice curls when you tell white lies

I have a hard time believing water has no taste

I'm sure after we kissed everything tasted like forest berries

With one hand I firmly hold the candle

And with the other, a book that makes sense

You take it out of my hands

you'd never need to apologize but that doesn't even matter cause you never did

I hate the thought of you almost as much as I hate to spend my time thinking about anything else but you

when you hurt me, over and over, I just scape for a daydream land where you love me more than I love you

my skin rots and crawls off of my body every day you ignore me and yet I fall in love again and again whenever your face crosses my mind

you so clearly don't like me, yet you would never admit it to my face

cause you rest your head on my chin waiting to drink off of my tears, as that would help your dried out heart

I long for the day I'll see this thing beat or miss a beat for me but both of us know that's not gonna happen

then tell me, please do

why can't I leave you?

what kind of imaginary chains you've casted upon me that are as heavy as the moon, which not only doesn't let me scape as well as pushes me closer and closer

for I am just a human and you're as big as a satellite buzzing around my head non stop

please stop

please let me stop

I don't think you'd ever fight against me leaving you

I don't think you care that much

I don't think you're able to care that much about anyone

this chains are only imaginary I know and yet I can feel them cutting thru my flesh every time I try to get away

I can feel the blood from the wounds

you can feel the blood from my wounds

and you poke them

and you make them hurt

and they hurt

so much I'm unable to move

so I stay by your side once again

feeling as lonely as I did before

Se mi prenderai per mano

Balliamo soli al buio

Un po'di amore, prima andar via

E si parlerà di che mi manchi

E di tutte le stelle che non abbiamo ancora visto

Si scioglieremo

In un brodo di incertezze

Ma non si può dire

Che non ti ho dato

Tutti l'amore che ho

The scarecrow was already there when he arrived

And they knew each other very well

You could tell by the thorns on his leather jacket and the scar in his upper lip

The fences, once made of wood are now cold steel

Asked for a home brew potion for those who do not dream

Not for him. He dreamed of moon bathed lakes, whistling forests and golden beetles sewing his clothes

The scarecrow gave 10 years of his life to craft the cure

But it didn't matter, his magic, his wisdom, nothing would ever matter

He aims for a faster ending, as fast as people who come and go

I'm not scared of forgetting you, letting all our sweet and sour memories collect dust in the basement of brain, where I can't quite reach.

I'm scared I can't. I'm scared I'll never be able to erase your footprint on me. That I'm fated -or better yet, cursed - to be forever haunted by the ghost of who you are, and worst than that, the phantom of what you could've been. I can hear your chains (the ones I gave you) scratching the floor of my mind, and it terrifies me.

I lived, exactly how much I should've lived

And I rotted, exactly how we're supposed to rot

From inside out

With a warm, gooey, visceral purpose

Under the eyes of the one who sees it all

And God knows, and tells you, if you listen

That every tulip there's ever existed, is me

Carries my will, smells like me, carries my beauty and all I've seen

Comes from the ground I now lay in

and yesterday you told me something I already knew, but wasn't ready to hear

that you own me

that i belong to you, only

and that you hate me, with passion

i know it's true, i try my best to scape

but I can't outrun fate

your sharp teeth grab me by my ankle

and i feel every vein in my body tangle

but you'll never be mine and mine only

so i must keep running

running away from everyone

running away from every feeling

cause whenever I find love so pristine I tear it down

my whole body rejects it

i need your passionate hate

i need you telling me how much I disgust you

need you to tell me to shut up and keep quiet

need you to ignore me

i need you to make me suffer

i need love to drive me insane, to make me bleed, to never heal

i need you to treat me so badly I can't face the lightest meal

and as tears are streaming down my cheeks I need you to remind me

that you own me

once again I'm writing about you

one last time

one last page

it seems like ages, but I can still recall how bad I longed for your calls

and how every "thank you" after I told you I loved you made my socks roll down

that little rock in my shoe surely resembles your constant bad mood

how you'd always chose to fight, no matter how silly the subject

how you'd always chose to show your disgust towards me, no matter how affectionate I was

how? or why? i have no idea why you were like that

but no matter

i loved that, i loved every last drop of you I could possibly absorb

a shame, a real shame you drained me whole

you took all you could get without feeding me any

grains of love wouldn't fill up my stomach with butterflies, you know that

but no matter

it was beautiful and genuine while it lasted

and writing about it eternize how happy I was to have you, how true it was, how every heartbeat was a different song and no matter how bad we got, it never went out of tune

like an old radio left to rust on a frozen lake, between blizzards and snowy landscapes, if I really try i can still hear the music far, far away from here

softly, almost non existent, but never out of tune