#sasukefandom

I didn’t go into the combini closest to me, instead I decided to take a walk through the village. I had a lot of time on my hands now anyway. There were new shops selling kuraama paintings and merchandise. Man, had the times changed. I wondered what my official title or job description was to the people of Konoha, or if they were even aware of my existence. I’d prefer it if my name faded away into history, that was a good end for me.  There was a gloominess settling over me that seemed to fill the street as I ambled along, my hand in my pocket. Before I knew it, I found myself circling around the hospital entrance. Clenching my teeth, I had to fight the impulse to walk away and put it off till later. Sakura was a medical kunoichi now. She had a busy day. The last thing I wanted was to interrupt something important like a surgery by declaring my sudden arrival. 

I eyed the clock on the wall in the waiting room, it was almost 5. She should be getting off about now, right? The receptionist was looking at me funny. She probably knew who I was, or worse, she thought I needed medical attention because of my arm. “Ano..”, I heard her mumble. I looked at her and spoke, “I’m not a patient. I’m waiting for someone-”  “Sasuke san, Sakura san is just getting done with her last patient of the day.”  I nodded awkwardly. Sasuke san. What would I say to her? I’d have to prepare myself. I could start with the usual- How are you, how’s work- Is Tsunade working you harder than usual? Should I call you sensei now?  I smirked at that last thought. She had always been smart, probably smarter than I was in school. But this was a whole new level- Doctor Sakura. I ought to congratulate her on her profession. What would I say next? I could tell her I’ll count on her for any medical emergencies I might have..  “Sasuke-kun??”  My face froze. I stood up to see the pink haired Haruno Sakura standing across the hall, sling bag and all. Her doctor’s apron was peeking out of the bag. She still had white shoes on. 

“Tadaima”, I said sheepishly. I don’t know why I chose to say that to her, but it seemed appropriate somehow. She’d been waiting for me to come home, her more than anyone. 

She crossed the space between us, smiling at me as she did, her gaze not leaving my eyes. She looked like she would cry any minute. I really did not want her to cry. “Should we go?”, I said, ushering her to the door, watching the receptionist from the corner of my eye- she seemed to be paying close attention to our drama at the moment. I hated that. Why couldn’t people just mind their own business.  Sakura was turning redder and redder by the minute. I can’t figure out why, for the life of me. I let go of her arm and slowed my pace to match her’s. Glancing at her from time to time was all I could do, as we walked side by side. She was tearing up, but not saying anything. I couldn’t bear her crying like that, but I had no clue what to say to her. I didn’t know where to start.  “How’s work at the hospital? Tsunade working you hard?”, I said to the air in front of me. Sakura looked down at her feet and murmured, “Yeah- it’s great..”  I grabbed the inside of my pocket furiously. This was going horribly. I was terrible at this after all. I shouldn’t have come. I should’ve let Naruto handle it.. 

“She’s driving me just hard enough! It’s a big deal to be head of the hospital you know? I can’t be allowed to take it lightly!” 

I looked at her face. She was chirpy and bright faced all of a sudden. There was a big, proud smile plastered across her little face. A small, unimpressive smile in comparison was spreading across mine, when Sakura looked at me and said, “Okairinasai..”  This time, my everything froze. How much confidence and emotional endurance could she possibly have. I found myself getting flustered, so I tore my gaze away from her’s just in time to see the tsukemen shop on our right. “Do you want some? You like this right?”  I didn’t know if I was right. This was a memory from our genin years together.  “Yes I do! You remember Sasuke-kun..”, she was blushing again. It wasn’t a big deal to remember something like that. I held her wrist and tugged her towards the shop just so we’d get there faster, immediately regretting the gesture. Every time I touched her, she turned beet red and looked like she was choking on a fish bone. It made me feel uncomfortable.  “I don’t know what’s good here- get one for me?”, I said. Sakura ordered for us both like she had done it a million times before. We sat at the counter silently, just feeling the intensity of each other’s presence.  I looked at her sideways, wanting to apologize to her for all the times I had let her down, wanting to tell her she doesn’t have to forgive me or be this happy to be eating with me. She didn’t have to be this loving and caring of someone like me. Sakura turned to me, her green eyes solid and unwavering, she said, “You’re going to ask me for anything you need help with. Even if you’re just bored, you’re going to tell me. Right?”  I didn’t make eye contact with her, but instead looked at the poster behind her, taking in the color and composition. She smelled of cherry blossom, like her name suggests. “I don’t want to bother you Sakura. You have a lot on your plate. You just take care of yourself- I’ll be fine..”  She looked annoyed suddenly. There was definitely a hint of annoyance in her face as the tsukemen arrived. Maybe it was too spicy? I slurped up my noodles, pleasantly surprised at how good my bowl was. “Is yours as good as this?”  She looked at me, still annoyed, “There you go again. Sasuke-kun. You’re not bothering me.. I want to help. Please don’t hold back.”  I turned back to my bowl, scared of that look on her face. “Hai..”, I answered. I saw her smile coming back. I was defeated. I mean, maybe she could get me soap when I wanted, that’s not a lot to ask. I didn’t have to refuse her help entirely, I just would stay out of her way overall. Sakura really could be overbearing sometimes. I paid for our food when we were done. 

As we walked out into the street again, I struggled to think of something to say to her without making things upsetting or serious. My eyes brightened as I thought of the perfect thing. “Hey- Naruto and Hinata getting married was pretty nice right. She always had a thing for him-”, I looked at her and continued, “How was the wedding, since I couldn’t make it..”  Sakura looked sullen now, though the words that came out of her mouth didn’t match her vibe, “It was so beautiful. They’re really cute together..”  I swallowed to get rid of the lump in my throat. This was getting more and more awkward. We were walking towards her apartment complex. She had moved here from her parent’s place it seemed. She turned towards me as we approached her block and smiled widely.  Then she said the most surprising thing, “Sasuke-kun. I know you feel indebted to me or that you need to be nice to me. You don’t have to do that.” Her eyes were clear, her voice firm. “You don’t have to hang out with me to keep me happy. I won’t bother you anymore. You just.. try to have a good life here in Konoha, please.”  I stared at her, dumbfounded. That’s exactly what I was going to say to her.  She looked down at her shoes and then back up again at me, her pink hair getting in her eyes. I really wanted to touch it. But that would make her uncomfortable and flustered so I didn’t. Sakura turned around to climb up the stairs.  “Wait-”, I pleaded.  She turned back around, looking severely taken aback. Did she think I’d stay silent through all of that? Probably. I had been no less than a revenge seeking machine before. The emotions struggled to be processed and leak out, even now.  “I- Sakura, you don’t bother me.. I-”, the words started to form. “I don’t want you to waste your time on me-” 

I wanted to beg her to stay away from me, to not depress herself further, to find somebody else to care for like she did me. But my eyes just took in her face, so earnest and small. She was such an amazing woman. Her cute, pink exterior wouldn’t give away how strong or talented she was at all. She didn’t deserve to be running around after me like this, even if she did love me.  I saw her give me a small smile, a resignatory one. This was it. She’d stop calling me or leaving messages with anyone for me. I would stop meeting her too. She’d find a way to move on from this mess. My eyes just wouldn’t leave her’s now. I don’t know why.  She seemed confused. I was confused too, I understand. I felt a sudden urge to ask her to stay. I felt ashamed for feeling that, and looked down to my feet.  My heart was pounding, as I tried to get the words out. I was scared. It was strange to be following my last sentence with this.  “If it’s not too much trouble- do you- would you like to help me..” I looked up at her, flustered at my own words, searching for the end of my sentence, “-set up my place. It’s all empty right now.. and um- I need to stock up on the kitchen-”  Yes, people did that. I needed to stock up on my kitchen.  She looked at me disbelievingly. She just stood there with a disgusted, sarcastic look on her face. But then she said, “Do you need me to cook for you? I’ll bring you a week’s worth of food if you want..”  I shrugged and grasped at words again. Her eyes were really boring into me now, for the truth it seemed. “No-I can cook. I just- you know- I can make food for us-” 

Why am I saying this. 

“Um.. sasuke-kun..”  Don’t call me that. This is the worst time to be saying that kun thing. 

I was blushing now, I could feel it. My cheeks were hot. “Why don’t you bring me something for the flat- It really needs some help right now. I’ll get started on dinner for us before you come- Saturday. You’re off early on Saturday?”  “Sasuke-kun! You really don’t have to-”  “I want to.”  We looked at each other for a few minutes, her searching, me trying my best to build a wall in front of my face that she could not penetrate. I think I did a pretty good job, she still looked confused. I was certain that she’d seen me blushing but that hadn’t thrown her off at least.  Sakura still looked like she didn’t really believe me, but she said, “Okay- I’ll bring some things for you. You like cats don’t you?” She smirked at me, knowingly. My mouth opened slightly in a laugh as my body relaxed. “Yes I do..” 

“Alright, I’ll see you Saturday- at 8..9..?”  “9 is good. I’ll have something cooked by then”, I smiled slightly, confidently. “Bye then. Sleep well- you earned it, sensei-” She laughed hearing that, a brilliant clear laugh and began climbing up the stairs. 

I walked away from the block, steering towards my shitty little apartment. Good, she’d bring me little cat posters then. And she’d be coming home for dinner at 9 pm this Saturday, what had I done. 

I was sweating when I reached my flat. This was the worst way to end the conversation. I asked her to my home, and I said I’d cook for her. What have I done. I looked around the flat, at the depressing blank walls and the dusty kitchen. That at least, the Sasuke Welcoming Team hadn’t wasted their time with. Probably a bunch of genins after all, no big deal.  I lied in my bed, staring at the ceiling. Sakura would be coming over. I have to cook her something really nice. I want to do something nice for her. 

I smiled a little to myself in the dark. I said out loud, “I’ll cook her your roast, Itachi. Forgive me if I fuck it up and order in from Wagamama.” I had distinct memories of Itachi going crazy in our kitchen with 4 course meals. If I was anything like my brother, and I knew I was, I could pull off this dinner for us too.  I had cooked for myself before, but it was hardly a meal worth sharing. Orochimaru’s hole had been my home for most of my life. I would have to adapt to the luxury of having a proper kitchen with an oven and other amenities. Well, I was a fast learner. 

I felt some excitement creeping up on me. I’d do something nice for Sakura. I’d make her happy, for a change. I hope it would make her happy. 

“Man, that cockroach was huge..”, I muttered to myself. It was the third of the day. This kitchen sure was filthy. I had managed to clean out the cabinets under the sink and the sink itself. The stove was wiped down with soap and dried.The fridge needed some serious sponging. Thankfully, I had cleaning supplies in the closet. I was a very proper, clean kid once upon a time. Living in an underground cave and on the road for the rest of my life had shot a bullet through that side of me. I had temporarily started to live like a dirty vagabond because, a dirty vagabond I was.  But now, it was time to revel in wiping down refrigerator gunk. That’s depressing. I sighed woefully as I removed the shelves from the fridge and scrubbed them down with soap water. The whole process must have taken at least an hour to do. Should I have just gone and bought another fridge..  I observed my work of art, a little smirk showing on my lips. With a sense of finality, I reached over and turned on the power to the fridge. I had had the good sense to check the power first of course, and as expected, it hummed to life.  After a quick mop and wipe of the counters, I was ready to hit the market for groceries. I quickly washed up and headed to the village produce market.   Everywhere around me I saw supermarkets and convenience stores. There were a few obasan selling vegetables off to the side, but too few in comparison. I went into one supermarket, feeling strange.  I, Uchiha Sasuke was wheeling a trolley down the vegetables aisle looking for carrots. I felt several pairs of eyes on me as I picked out tomatoes. I got myself some potatoes while another lady busily picked some out too. She handed me a larger potato that she didn’t need in exchange for two small ones from my basket. It calmed me, this simple act, I don’t really know why.  When I was done with vegetables, I went to get myself some condiments and spices. Shoyu was a must, as was sweet vinegar. A little boy came running into the aisle. We both stood side by side looking at all the different spices in little bottles. We both looked on with awe. As he reached for the chilli, I picked it up and handed it to him. “Arigato Sasuke san!”, he yelled cheerfully and ran back the way he had come.  Does everybody know who I am? I got conscious suddenly and readjusted my bangs, making sure to cover up that weird eye. Well, my other eye was weird too put apparently not as weird. I really really really don’t want a kid coming up to me asking to see my Sharingan. I groaned slightly at the possibility and suddenly wished I had just asked one of Kakashi’s chunins to do the shopping. 

I wheeled my cart towards the cashier as fast as I could. As the young woman billed me she said, “Do you cook Sasuke-san?”, beaming at me as she did. I muttered quietly in the affirmative, pretending to be busy picking out the change from my wallet. I grabbed my bags and headed back towards my shitty little flat.  It was about 6 pm on a Saturday. The Saturday that Sakura would be coming over. And bringing things for the apartment. And having dinner with me. And..  My eyes widened with panic. She’s coming to my home. This was very poorly planned. What would we talk about. What happens after dinner, do I just ask her to leave? Will she leave on her own? Dinner guests tended to leave on their own, right? I couldn’t bear to ask her to leave. What if we just talked all night and she fell asleep here. How much would we even talk, that’s not possible. 

I started to wash and cut the vegetables. I had bought some duck as well at the poultry shop next door. I set about cutting off its head and draining the blood from the body. Before I went ahead, I put on an apron I had bought. Unfortunately, they didn’t have any other kinds of aprons at the combini. I felt like an idiot, but it didn’t matter right now. Kiss the shinobi cook would have to do. 

Ridiculous. Itachi used to make duck roast for us when our parents were away. It would take him exactly 3 hours during which he’d get all the sides done. I smiled at the fond memories flooding my mind. I left the skin on the potatoes and cut them the way he’d taught me to. I remembered cutting my pinky finger once while doing this chore. 

Niisan, make chocolate pudding now. Itte ittee. You have to make it now cause it’s my favourite. 

Sasuke! Did you cut yourself just so I’d make that. Seriously, you’re such a- 

Niiiisaaaaaan- 

With a large grin on my face, I started on the sauce. The cut vegetables were boiling. I put in shoyu, chilli powder and vinegar and let it simmer. The duck needed to be cut up, washed and basted. After about half an hour had passed, I put the readied duck breast and legs in the oven. I’d add in the vegetables after about an hour. While the duck cooked, I put some rice in the little steamer I had borrowed from Hinata. I’d fry it up with some ginger to flavour it, to go with the duck.  The clock showed 8 pm before long. The last leg of the preparations was in motion. The duck was sitting with its vegetables, the fatty juices bubbling and bathing them. I took out the duck pieces and put them in the fry pan to glaze with the now cooled sauce. The smells in the kitchen were making me mad with hunger. I contemplated eating a leg or two, nothing she would notice- but then settled for some cola from the fridge. 

At 8:45 pm, the duck, rice and miso soup were ready, sitting on the kitchen counter. I wiped down and brought out plates and chopsticks for us. Carefully, I set the plates down on the little table, the glasses for water, the chopsticks. I even bought napkins for us, the nice smooth velvety kind. I arranged the duck and rice on the table, leaving a bowl of miso each on either side. For a minute or two, I kept fidgeting with the duck breast, aligning it one way or the other. Taking a sharp breath in, I saw the time was 9:05 PM. As I stared at that dusty grey, rectangular clock on the wall I suddenly realized that I had forgotten dessert. Kussoo. I looked up at the ceiling in despair, wishing I had made that chocolate pudding. I would have loved to eat it after this tiring day.  Then I heard a knock on the door. My head snapped in its direction and I immediately walked towards it. Taking a deep breath, I wondered if I should open it with a smile, or if I ought to say something the second I opened it. There you are! or I hope you like duck! No, that would be stupid. Just open the fucking door.  I quietly opened the front door and saw an anxious faced Sakura standing before me. Her hair was put up in a little bun, little chunks of her hair fanning around it, loose strands falling to her neck. Her neck. She was wearing a dress, no sleeves. Her neck was very visible right now.  “Sasuke-kun?”

The color of her dress matched her eyes well, I thought. It was a jade green, her dress. Her neckline went lower than I’ve ever seen. 

“Sasuke-kun.. can I come in..?”  I suddenly snapped out of it and realized that I hadn’t said a word to her for a while now. I now noticed that she had bags on the floor next to her, with little frames and things sticking out. “OH- yeah. Sorry. Come in..”, I managed to say. She started to pick up her things, and I helped her. 

We carried the bags to the couch. “What’s all this?”, I asked her curiously. She beamed at me. “Why they’re for your apartment of course! You asked me to brighten up the place.. right?” 

I started to take out the things from their bags, smiling at them, when in fact I was smiling because she had remembered. Sakura looked embarrassed as I pulled out framed photos of cat after cat, all cartoons or paintings. “Um- it’s a sort of neko overload- sorry”, she said. I started smiling wider as I pulled out a shuriken shape. “Is this for the wall? To hang?”  She nodded gleefully. “I mean. We could have just hung up an old shuriken of yours, but I figured you’d rather use that in actual battle than put it on a wall...”, she explained in a quick breath. 

I found a bundle of cloth in one of the bags that I unfolded. “Oh- perfect. I needed curtains.” 

“You like them? I’m sorry, all they had were Sakura prints-”

I looked at her and smiled. “Red and black are some of my favourite colours-” I stood up and put the curtain against the window to show her. The little sakura flowers were red on a black background. She smiled at my reaction and pointed at the rest of the stuff, starting to apologize again. 

“I really love them. Thank you for getting them for me. The cats are- great. Really..”, I chuckled and tapped the cartoon of a chubby calico. She laughed too.  Then her gaze went to the table with the food on it. Her eyes swallowed in every detail it seemed, which made me nervous. She stood up slowly and turned to me. “You made all of that.. for tonight?”  I felt my cheeks burning and looked away from her eyes, “Yeah.. I hope it tastes good-” She was looking straight at me now. I couldn’t help but make eye contact. Her eyes sparkled as they trailed from my face to my chest. I felt extremely conscious all of a sudden, and also like my chest was ugly for some reason.  She was struggling not to laugh, but a little giggle escaped her pink lips anyway. “That’s a cute apron..”  I stared at her for a second or two, slowly processing what she was referring to. Her lips pulled in different directions as she bit them, to stop the laughter. Then it dawned on me. I quickly put my hands on my chest and scrunched up the cloth to hide it, blushing severely as I did. I started to remove the apron and tried my best to sound dignified, “The stupid shop didn’t have normal aprons so I had to take this silly fucking thing.”  “NO it’s-it’s really cute. Just.. doesn’t go with-you..”, Sakura giggled some more, some strands of hair falling over her face as she shook with laughter. I looked at her, wanting to touch her hair again, smiling at her laughing. There wasn’t a purer sound in the world than that.  “The food will get cold. Let’s eat.”, I said and pulled out a chair for her. I sat opposite her. “Itadakimasu”, we both said in unison and started on our soup. I served her some of the duck and rice with it. “OISHII! SASUKE-KUN! YOU COOK LIKE THIS? WHY HAVEN’T YOU EVER TOLD ME!”  I looked at her, surprised at her reaction. She tended to be loud. “Uh-Yeah I guess. I really haven’t cooked a lot in my life..”, I shrugged it off, not wanting to talk about myself too much. It was strange to be under the spotlight, even if it was a small spotlight between two people at dinner.  “It’s so good, I want to die!”, she said with her mouth full of rice. A grain or two fell out of her mouth and she patted at it with the napkin, looking embarrassed. That made me smile a little too much. She must have thought I was laughing at her. I really hope she didn’t think that.  As we ate our meal, I was panicking slightly. I didn’t know what to talk about. Small dinner banter was really not my thing. I looked up at her from time to time to gauge her mood. She seemed to be in a pleasant mood, but I couldn’t read anything else. She also looked up at me from time to time and smiled. All the things I ought to be saying and all the things I could be saying were flashing through my mind. Instead my eyes strayed to her neckline again. 

In an instant, Sakura’s napkin fell off the side of the table. I was about to pick it up when she stopped me and proceeded to do so herself. That’s when I saw her leg come out of a slit in her dress. I could not for the life of me pull my eyes away. Oh God, you’re being creepy. At least say something while you check her out. Don’t just stare.  I really could not be bothered to come up with something to say at the moment. I could barely manage to chew my food straight. Sakura straightened up and continued to eat. She looked so beautiful in that dress and I hadn’t even worn a nice shirt for the occasion. 

She really did look beautiful. It was a strange feeling, to notice that in a woman. I had noticed it about her before, but this was different. This was very pointedly about her appearance. 

My thoughts went back to when Karin used to dress provocatively around me. That couldn’t have just been coincidence like I had imagined then. She had made some advances too. But it hadn’t fazed me in the least. It was so strange, the difference- how I had felt nothing biting into that woman’s neck, and how I felt just looking at Sakura’s neck right now.  I felt so horrible for looking so much, she had no idea even. It was plain wrong. I forced myself to stare at my empty plate instead. She’s an attractive woman. Sure. She knows that. We all know that in Konoha. You just noticed. That’s nothing to be announced.  I looked away from the table, to one bag that we hadn’t opened. And then I remembered something to say, though I said it unhappily. “I forgot to make dessert-” My voice resounded in a disappointed way.  “Oh I’m so glad! I brought us some flavoured mochi.”, she smiled at me. “It’s my favourite kind, strawberry. I wanted you to try some, my mom makes them.”  I stood up and started to clear her plate. “Sakura isn’t your favourite flavour?”, I smiled back at her. She made a face, “No- sakura mochi is just weird.” She began to help with the dishes. We put them in the sink one by one.  “Well- I like how sakura tastes”, I said unwittingly. Sakura started to go red standing next to me. I don’t think I go red when I’m flustered, but I started to sweat. 

Why are you such a goof. Change the fucking subject, NOW. 

My eyes moved to the unopened paper bag sitting on the couch once again. “What’s in that? Something else for the house?” She looked relieved that I had broken the tension. “The mochi is in there- oh and a little present for you.”  I looked at her perplexed. “Wasn’t all of that enough of a present-”, I laughed.  When we were done with the dishes, we sat on the couch and she brought out the home-made mochi for us. She also pulled out a bottle of sake with a pink ribbon tied around the neck. “Thought you might like this. It’s a nice flavour..”, she placed the bottle on the table.  I chewed on the sticky mochi with delight. It was yummy stuff. “It’s really nice Sakura.” Her legs poked out from the slits in her dress slightly, taking up a large chunk of my attention span. They seemed to be looming up at me. I quietly ate my mochi, trying not to look too hard. 

She adjusted herself a bit to hide them. I felt like screaming. I made her conscious about it because I was staring. What is wrong with me. I’ve seen women before. Why am I behaving like a 13 year old.  The tension between us was very palpable now. She was clearly uncomfortable, probably regretting the whole thing already. I eyed the sake and immediately said, “Why don’t we open that now- that’s a good idea.”  Sakura protested politely, “You don’t have to Sasuke-kun. It’s for you-” I grabbed the bottle and went to find glasses for us. “When am I going to drink something alone anyway..” I found glasses, and washed them a bit, before bringing them to her.  “Well okay. If you’re sure.. I’ll have some-”, she gave in a little too fast. I looked at her suspiciously. “Don’t tell me you drink like Tsunade does now..”, I teased her. She rushed to defend herself, “NO- she doesn’t drink all that much anymore. She’s treated me now and then after a hard week of work that’s all!” I laughed a little and poured for us. “You don’t have to explain all that to me- I’m not judging.”, I clinked my glass with her’s and drained it down my throat in one go. She blinked at me in surprise. “Sasuke-kun, when did you start drinking like that?” I poured some more for myself, thinking back to the days travelling in Hebi. I was so sour all the time, I found that downing a few glasses of sake would help with my mood. I’d stop with that much, cause it was just enough for me to not snap at everyone around me, but not too much that I’d let Karin snuggle up to me and not move.  I downed another glass. “Ah it’s just for the nerves.”  “Why are you nervous?”, she sipped at her glass. She was clearly holding herself back, I could tell. 

I sat very still for some time, thinking about what I could say next. As I sipped my third little glass of sake, I looked at her. “You really drink that slowly? Or are you just trying to be appropriate. Wait-am I being inappropriate? Drinking with you like this?”, the questions kept piling up in my head and I kept vomiting them out with abandon.  She smiled at me slowly. “Well Sasuke-kun, I happen to know that this sake is stronger than the kind I usually take. It’s a special variety.”  I thought back to the sake I used to drink. It was some awful cheap kind that we found in little stores on our travels. It didn’t taste half as good as this did.  “OH-OH I see..”, I exclaimed. I considered being quiet for the rest of the night, but it just didn’t seem to work, my plan.  She sipped some more and crossed one leg over the other. She looked very strong and poised at the moment, leaning back. I turned on my side to face her. My head resting on my hand, I looked at her. 

She began to speak,“Thank you for making this meal for us. You really didn’t have to.. You could’ve ordered in or even made cup ramen for us-”  ”Hey-Hey, I’d never make fucking cup ramen for you the first time you came over...”, I frowned at her, my eyes narrowing. I started to laugh. “I’d make cup ramen for that doggy guy- Kiba or someone if they suddenly came over one night-” She started smiling and biting her lip.  ”Sakura- you’re special. I’d only ever cook a proper meal for you if you came over”, I said to her face. Her eyes fixed on mine, her lips parted slightly. I felt very conscious suddenly and tried to make light of what I had said. “You know that! You’re- you’re a member of team Kakashi- we’ve gone through so much together...” My voice trailed off and my eyes struggled to find a place to rest that wasn’t her eyes or her neck. Her hair seemed to suffice for now. I looked at her hair, the little jade stone comb she had fixed in place, the etching of a flower on the stone...  ”Sasuke-kun...”  A thought occurred to me, a rather scary thought. Before I could process it, I decided to tell her because it was worth sharing. It really was a scary thought. I looked at her alarmed, “I mean, Naruto is a part of team Kakashi too but I don’t mean him. I mean he’s special and all that but that’s not what I meant-”  ”Sasuke-kun!”, Sakura raised her voice a little. My mind snapped to attention. Seeing that, she smiled widely. Then her smile faded until just a little smirk remained on her pink lips. Her eyes lowered as she said, “I’d really love that... you cooking for me, the way you did tonight-”  That look on her face was driving me crazy. I felt like I’d cook every single meal in the day for her just to have her look like that when she talks about it. I’d pack her a bento when she went to the hospital, and she’d look like that when she opens it.  I gulped slowly, the sound of my heart was filling the room. Please don’t hear this. I sipped some more of the sake, trying to calm down. I felt foolish. I was praying she brings up a topic, something we could talk about it and not just have extreme blushy reactions to.  “Where did you even learn to cook so well?”, she asked excitedly. I smiled at her and looked up at the ceiling to remember. “Ah I’ve learnt since I was 5 probably-” I looked back at her face and continued. “Itachi used to cook for us as kids. He was so good at all of this, he was a freaking genius!”, I smiled really wide, my teeth showing. I tried to hide them by pursing my lips, but my eyes glimmered with the memories of a past life. “He would make excuses to our parents, say that he used up all his pocket money- and get more to buy expensive ingredients. Then when they were out, he’d try new recipes and have me taste them.”  I put my legs up on the couch and hugged them to my chest, my eyes glazing over. “He made me the best chocolate pudding ever, every time I’d fall or scrape a knee-” Sakura moved closer to me, and put her legs up on the couch too. I looked at her, she had her chin in her hands, her hands resting on her knees. “EHH really? That’s amazing. What a great niisan-”, she said, her eyes sparkling.  She totally knew I was drunk now. But she didn’t seem to notice. She didn’t care. Sakura just listened to me with her beautiful green eyes pouring over my face, her pink hair bobbing around every time she laughed, her lips always stretching into a smile at just the right moments.  I stopped thinking about what I was saying now. I just talked and talked and talked. I felt like I was 6 years old. “Niisan used to lie to me, saying that he’d teach me the shuriken- but he never did. He just lied to me all the time-”, I said frowning slightly, taking another swig of the sake.  Sakura took the bottle from me and took a small swig too. Her speech was slurring slightly. “Awww- little Sasuke-kun must have annoyed him wanting shuriken practice all the time! You can’t blame him!”  I turned to her feeling indignant. “Well- I didn’t need him. I learnt on my own-” She laughed loudly at me and put her hands on my lap, “Gomen! Gomen! I didn’t mean it like that- awww look at your face-”  I didn’t know what she was talking about. I felt like I ought to be annoyed with her, stop this game right now.  But I couldn’t. I could not stop wanting to play this game where she laughed at me and her giggling was uncontrolled. Her hair was almost all out of her bun now, strands of pink getting in her eyes.  She kept struggling to take the hair out of her eyes, and then going back to laughing. I leaned forward a bit and carefully parted her hair, removing it from her eyes, tucking it behind her ear. 

Sakura stopped laughing. She gulped visibly, and stared at my face like a cornered animal would its hunter. “What-”, I whispered. “I’m not going to eat you-”, I whispered again. She smiled and then chuckled. “Oh- I know that-”  I was very close to her now, her smell strong and intoxicating. I went a little quiet now, trying to gather my thoughts. I felt like it had to be said. I touched her face with my fingers lightly, trailing away. “Thank you for coming tonight..”, I said slowly. I frowned slightly, the memory of bad times filling my head, “I haven’t laughed like this since my parents died...”  She looked at me carefully, seriously. She took my hand and squeezed it with both of hers. Her eyes looked sad, as she nodded slightly at me in understanding. “I want nothing more than to do this for you, any time you want..”, she said to me.  I really wanted to lean in to her lips. I really wanted to hold her face in my hands and part her lips with mine... smell her...bite her. My eyes widened a little, I took a sharp breath, trying to knock out that thought from my head. I can’t bite her- get it together man. I pulled away slightly, ashamed. She seemed to come out of her dream-like state too. She was conscious of her bare legs uncovered now from the slits in her dress. I can’t believe I had actually missed that before. Well, they had my full attention now, and it was uncomfortable to say the least. 

I cleared my throat, and looked at the time. It was half past 2 am. She followed my lead and exclaimed in alarm, “OH MY- is that really the time? It is late- we should head to bed Sasuke-kun...”  I exhaled slowly as we made awkward eye contact. “I mean- my bed- our beds- our s-separate beds-”, she sputtered. I interrupted her, her panic infecting me as well, “Yeah- of course- you’ll be fine getting home? You won’t get lost or anything? It’s dark and you’re- inebriated...”  “Yeah- I’ll be fine. And besides, you’re inebriated too, probably more than I am-” , she giggled at me again. I was starting to absolutely love that giggle. I shrugged, “You know what you’re doing. Sakura-senpai, I have a lot to learn from you-” That little quip made her blush, as expected. I smirked a little at my sly manipulative skills. 

She stood up with me and instantly toppled onto me. I lifted her up, being careful not to let my hands or my eyes linger. I felt awful for enjoying that clumsy exchange as much as I did. She had no idea...  Sakura took the comb out of her hair. Her shoulder-length pink hair, though wild and pretty was now covering up her neck. I was saddened. She made her way to the front door, turned around and beamed. “Oyasuminasai Sasuke-kun!”, she shouted. I cringed and shushed her. “Oyasuminasai Sasuke-kun!”,she repeated but in a forceful whisper now. I chuckled at her and returned the phrase, “Oyasumi.”