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omg last reblog made me think of a hc where phoenix maya and edgeworth go to a steel samurai convention T__T there are a lot of super cool cosplayers and edgeworth wants to get photos but he feels embarrassed so maya goes up to the cosplayers herself and asks phoenix to take a photo of her and edgeworth with cosplayers (''': edgeworth then purchases some merch for her as thanks <3
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also... i want to sort of air this out once before (hopefully) not dwelling on it again 0: one of the main things at work that has been affecting me a lot is that... it doesn't feel like most of my coworkers like me u__u it ties in with my skills, which are . bad . im slow and clumsy and forgetful, which has affected my work a lot and i feel super bad T__T i try to do my best but sometimes that doesnt even feel like enough which . sucks. i think ive also been putting a lot of pressure on myself to improve as fast as possible, but i think thats just been adding to my anxiety. idk... it feels kinda sad ? to think about how my coworkers are probably fed up with me u__u
it also sucks because it's really different to my prev work place... i got along with a majority of my coworkers and i actually enjoyed being at work because of how fun our conversations were. i know that not every place is going to be the same, so i think i just have to make peace with that... and hopefully ill do better at work in 2022 and i wont get fired LOL
current vibes are somewhat similar to end of 2021... i had been quarantined in my house for a few days because my brother tested posi for covid (hes getting better?? i think) but even though some circumstances have changed for the better (??) i still feel more miserable than i did last year, somehow. i think it might be because of my current job but also my perspective on things ?? i don't know... i feel like i go into work somewhat dreadful, and that already has a huge influence on how the day will play out. i feel like im more likely to take things personally from my manager/coworkers, even when it's not meant to be perceived that way. i think... im going to try to not see things that way, as best as i can. i think ill have to put in quite the effort for it, like consistently reminding myself that things arent personal and that i can always work towards improvement
also im currently searching for a differently psychiatrist, finally. ive been putting it off for monthsssss now but it's finally time 0: i think i also realized that . hm . maybe my current medication isnt supposed to make me feel the way ive been feeling... a default mood for me is to feel... nothing dikdnddkd and it's not necessarily in a bad way ...? sometimes i just dont feel anything . but i think i read somewhere that meds .... Aren't supposed to do that... so maybe ill ask for a different kind of medication + maybe adhd medication once im able to find a new psychiatrist u__u
gege please have utahime show up in the manga again pleaseeeeee i miss her so baddddddd
gege giving utahime a ribbon in her hair is one of the best decisions they've ever made thank you so much
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uoaghhhh ive been working for almost five days in a row and i dont know how im still alive . the past two days were unexpected because my manager had an ememrgency and needed someone to cover his shift and that person just so happened to be me because i was available and um . wow i kind of dislike the work version of me because all the latent people pleasing traits come OUT . like ill overextend myself to help my coworkers, even if im super fucking tired because i dont !! want to make people made or i want to show people that i Am competent or it’s another way to like . make up for any mistakes i made in that day and it’s just . soooooo bad like . after filling in for my manager’s shift yesterday, i messaged him to let him know that if he needed me to cover any of his other shifts this week, he could let me know and i would do my best to cover for him but LIKE.... my body is breaking DOWNNNNN !!! like . i WANT to help people but it’s like a fight between my kindness and the fragility of my silly little body uoghhhh
but also ive been asking myself like.... is this genuine Kindness do i Actually Genuinely want to help out my coworkers or am i making these offers to help because i dont want people to be mad at my incompetence / i want them to like me ?? in my mind it’s like ‘oh if i do x task for this coworker then maybe ill be a bit more memorable in a positive way and maybe they wont dislike me as much or find me that annoying or unable to do things’ and it’s !!! so baddddddddd uoaghhhh
auoghhhhh yesterday was my first day of work and i cant believe i made it but also something that worries me is the probation period that i was put on that can basically allow my employer to Let Me Go at any time and for any reason during the first three months... im especially worried that my health problems might Act Up super bad during this time and they might be like okay bye ^__^
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