#sasas

To Knowledge Cloaked in Factoid has officially been shipped off to my beta. They're really busy with a lot going on, so it'll probably be a while yet before it makes its way to you.

It's because you have certain trigger warnings blocked on your account. Suffice to say, if you can't stand to see any discussion of these certain topics like I expect is the case if you have the tags blocked, then you want to discontinue A Story of a Soul in All Its Stripes for the time-being. AUs and an alternative, less triggering ending will eventually be posted, it'll just be a while.

I apologize if I got you invested in this series and you find out now you can't finish it the way initially intended. Genuinely, I didn't expect this stuff to find its way in, but the story reached a point where I just kinda had to acknowledge it. It's been quietly coded into a lot of the DNA of the story, and it reached a point where recovery seemed unbelievable until it was addressed and coped with.

In case you guys haven't seen it on Roman's fic.

I am dealing with horrible, full-body chronic pain. It's been coming for a while. I've been hurting in littler ways for a long time and I always brushed it aside and just did things anyway. I can't do that anymore. Enormous parts of my life are now basically inaccessible to me. I hurt too much to stand more often than I would like, and the meds my doctor prescribed barely touch it for a little while, and they leave me very tired. On top of that, my parents, who I am reliant on for my spectrum of disabilities, have decided to see my crippling pain as a slight against them personally and are now trying to isolate and gaslight me again after years of tentative peace.

Logan's part is coming slow. It's very cognitively challenging and I spend a lot of every day with terrible brain fog, and I struggled to write less than five hundred words today when I'm used to writing thousands in a go without trouble. It's a very difficult, demanding scene but it's still upsetting.

I'm not ashamed of my disability. I don't want pity or "I'm so sorry." I'm now decidedly part of a very proud, very accepting community I wouldn't still have my sanity without. If I hadn't read so many posts from disability advocates I am pretty sure I'd be beside myself right now.

But things aren't good. I don't know if they'll get better. You may see a vent fic of some kind go up at some point--I don't know if I just want to bitch via pure angst or write escapism or what I want. I'm open to suggestions.

i just finished a book called as simple as snow. my dads best friend gave it to me when we visited him in portland a couple years ago. i didn’t get to really reading until now and i finished it a couple days ago. i love this book so much. it’s the best book i’ve read in a really really long time. i love it so much and i can’t believe how underrated it is. i want to make it into a movie really bad.

while i was reading the last half of it i was listening to the album soviet kitsch by regina spektor a lot. i mean on repeat for a long time. now that album reminds me of the book and it is so great. i love regina spektor so much. i have started to learn piano because of her. she sings like a fucking angel it’s insane. listening to this album while reading this book for the first time was amazing and i wish i could do it again. it made me so happy and distracted me from all the other shit going on, like for example having a god damn crush. i wish i could escape like that. like how anna did in the book. (not a spoiler lol you can see that on the back of the book). i don’t live in a place where it snows. i really really wish i did. and before anyone is like “no you don’t omg” try living in a place where the LOW in the winter is like 72 every day. it’s lame. nothing changes. it’s all the same and it’s boring. i want it to snow and i want to play in the snow and then get to cold and go back inside while looking at the window at all of the snow outside.

i hate the humidity and the heat so much. it’s boring and painful.