#sapphoshands

5. kitty anger

This is one of my very current WIPs, I actually added some bits to it today, and is my first non-ficlet-length Riot Women piece! My initial thought with it was that I just wanted to explore some things around Kitty’s anger, how it expresses itself and how that feels to her. I want to look at ways that might come out around Beth, something about where Kitty does and doesn't feel safe, and pushing of limits and the ways Beth reacts (I'm me, so it's going to involve sex).

It has also occurred to me in the writing of it that there’s something about getting into Kitty’s head that feels not entirely dissimilar to writing Beau from CritRole - they’re not the same but there’s something there. Interesting to me given how very much Beau I have written, and I think perhaps they appeal to me as viewpoint characters for similar reasons.

Snippet:

This isn’t really about Beth. Kitty knows that. She knows it even through this tearing, burning feeling that blocks out all her other thoughts. She barely even remembers what Beth did, what she said, that tripped some series of triggers in Kitty’s head, but now she’s snapped and yelled and there’s more in there, threatening to pour out of her, a torrent that’ll overwhelm whatever feeble control she has of it. Self-control. She’s never been any good at that. Never really saw the point.

Beth walks away.

14. l/m/a threesome thing

my numbering is really sad. i was one of the last three people still using Wordpad to write, so every time i made a big plot change i saved a new file like fictitle2.rtf. if it was a smaller rewrite or i didn't want to lose what i wrote before, it was just fictitle2.1.rtf. you know. the most complicated way to version. i started to use Ellipsus recently and the draft functionality helps, but all my older wips are still like that.

sidekicks aka kate bishop's sidekick extravaganza: a blair witch mystery, starring kate bishop is a fic i've been writing for approximately 78 years and the end is so close i can almost taste it. i loved matt fraction's hawkeye run. i did not love jeremy renner! so i cooked a little bit of comics + mcu canon soup for this one.

Okay.

4. what is the plot bunny you’ve been carrying for the longest? optional bonus question: do you ever wonder why you haven’t written it yet and experience deep existential dread?

I've wanted to do a "Moiraine Rhuidean vision but in the version where Siuan's dead Rand goes over to Lanfear" oneshot for the longest time; coming back from the rings she can rely on Siuan's strength to get them past that, but then Egwene tells her Siuan's dead and Moiraine must keep moving forward even though she thinks knows the whole thing is doomed Probably never gonna write it but I daydream about it sometimes. love some angst

40. best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.

any and every person who commented on my last chapter of teach me to love saying the final scene was something they needed to hear or something that hit close to home or moved them in some way. best thing I could ever hear

60. where is the most dangerous place that you’ve written fic?

I literally had no memory of this place until I found it earlier today. I apparently started it in 2013 and have never touched it since. Here it is in its entirety:

Neither of them could imagine going back to the farm, after everything that had happened. They’d ridden with Inigo and Fezzik for a while, pretending that soon they would go their separate ways. ‘Tomorrow,’ they said. ‘Tomorrow we’ll go home.’

But neither Inigo nor Fezzik had a home to go to, and what was a farm when you’d had a pirate ship, or a castle? So they wandered taking their time, going a circuitous route, living off the land.

1a. LARIS. I just. I love her so much she gets capslock. <3

1b. Rafaella Musiker. RAFFI. <3 I was predisposed to love her because I already loved Michelle Hurd, but also I just love her and want good things for her and vindication for her and apologies for her and also for her to bang all the women (Seven, Laris, give it all to me).

3. Does Deanna Troi count? I mean I guess she’s technically a guest star, but I’m just back in my Deanna Troi feelings over here thanks to one episode so. (Alternate answer: Kestra. Same issue in re: guest star, but not a character I already had strong feelings for. Look I just really love their family and their pizza oven okay.)

4. Elnor. Give him a cat. Although I do wish we didn’t have the one dude as our representative of the Qowat Milat I also quite enjoy him and I shipped him with Hugh for those five seconds anyway give me my Qowat Milat show written by a bunch of queer women please and thank you.

5. Seven of Nine but better written.  Soji. (It’s amazing how much more I enjoy her now that my personal black hole of enjoyment Narek isn’t standing next to her all the time.)

Thanks for the ask!

3. Describe the differences between your first fanfic and your most recent fanfic.

My first fanfic is “Job Security” (Devil Wears Prada, Miranda/Andy) and it’s ten years old. My most recent fanfic is “The Girl Most Likely To” (Grace and Frankie, Grace/Frankie) and it’s a month-and-a-half old. 

I just forced myself to go back in time and skim “Job Security” and it’s…not horrible? But it’s really flat and it relies too much on the things I’d learned about fic construction from reading other fic, which is to say that it doesn’t feel like me writing a short story so much as it feels like Me Attempting To Write Fanfiction for the First Time. Nothing wrong with that, since everybody has to learn somehow, but I hadn’t yet figured out that I should approach fic the way I’d approach any other type of writing, and just use all the stuff I know from being a person in the world and being a writer who writes things. There’s a reason I never put the “Job Security” on Ao3. It’s not awful but it’s a li’l too embarrassing.

Maybe in ten years I’ll reread “The Girl Most Likely To” and feel embarrassed, but objectively I think it’s a better, more interesting story, told by a person who had something to say about queerness and desire and identity and who wanted use a specific set of characters in a specific environment to say those things. I treated the writing of this story the way I’d treat any other writing project, fic or not, and it was more fun to write because of it. 

Over the years I’ve only had more and more fun with this stuff, so that’s cool.

4. Do you think your style has changed over time? How so? 

I’m not sure if my style has changed very much, but the ingredients have.

5. You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?

The story describes characters doing stuff that’s often implied, like brush their teeth and wash their faces. That’s probably the main thing. I love all that mundane shit.

Structurally, examples come in threes, and the author (me!) overuses “and” as a string between examples. I just can’t stop and I don’t want to stop and I’ll probably never stop.

The title’s often–but not always–a line from a poem or song. Because of #feelings.

where is all my valkyrie/hela *taps foot impatiently*

i have never seen this bit, but then i ragequit the show before the end of the first season

havingbeenbreathedout replied to your post: I am in the midst of one of my infrequent and...

I’ve never seen a single episode of the L word and I’m still very… familiar… with this scene