#saph rambles

Truly just the entire thing with A Star of Dawn and like if my guesses on Astronyu being raised with Lux (or at least before Lux) under the care of the Mason have much to them, it is digging up stuff in my brain. And it makes me wonder what was the extent of which Astronyu knew the nature of Lux's "deaths" and the extent in which she knew of Lux's past before they were brought together.

Like the thing is we know Astronyu had some dealings with the Mason before his death, at least to whatever extent early server events hold any weight if they haven't been retconned, considering she was considered a "conspirator" to his netherite changes plot and that the Mason seemed almost betrayed or shocked to find out she sided with Rat in the Battle of Bonesburrow.

There is something that gnaws in my brain knowing how Luxintrus can never reconcile those halves of her life, the one before and after meeting the Mason. Her memory of her past life/lives are too fractured to put it together, and her death came too soon for the right people to come back. But also, it feels like something that Fundy and Astronyu both knew half of a life that Lux had, have those halves that the other is so wholly unaware of. Part of me doesn't know really if it will materialize into anything if those two interact, but you need to understand it is important in my head they do and they fit together the worn tapestry of a sister as best they can. It is the best they can do to mourn someone that they could never know really, who they seen grow up, but only have threads of memory binding their visage. The most "complete" version of her in death.

12. what's the biggest purchase you've ever made?

uhhh not from my own earned money, but the money i saved up over the years which i used to get as a present on my birthday/festivals from my elders, i bought my nintendo switch.

otherwise when i was doing internship last year and getting paid i didnt really buy anything big from it but it felt nice paying for my own coffees and snacks whenever i wanted to but i've been unemployed since then

13. what are your hobbies?

painting, drawing, video games, crafty stuff in general, READING, i like singing but im not good at it, and im really getting into DND lately

thanks nonny! this was fun < 3

first of all FUNDY :DDDD

"An event in the past has really uh tore me apart and uh... it uh... it really broke me for a long period in my life I had no goal I had no purpose... um from what I feel like is really recent, I gained that purpose again."

Staring at that so deeply, hello????

Like okay HUH

I am throwing CSMP!Winsweep into a pit, I hope he dies alone like El promised and prophesied as such because fuckkkkkkkk youuuuuuu

"My backstory is not important"

FUNDY NO GIVE US THE LORE NO DON'T CLAM UP NOW

Oh Fundy DDDDDDD:

Winsweep when I FUCKING GET YOU

"I miss her too" *me getting my mom's cane ready to start swinging*

Fundy....

"I looked up to her the most out of anybody" LIARRRRRRR YOU FUCKASS YOU BROKE HER DOWN LIKE EVERYONE ELSE THAT FAILED HER AND THEN YOU SEALED HER FATE CRUSHED HER DREAMS IN A BOX FUCK YOUUUUUUUUU

NO NO FUCK THIS FUCK ALL THIS FUCK YOU MAN EL YOUR STUPID VESSEL INSTIGATOR GUY DID NOT FUCKING CHANGE AT ALL

OF COURSE YOU ARE TWISTING THE TRUTH OF COURSE YOU ARE FUCKING MAKING YOURSELF SEEM FAULTLESS OF FUCKING COURSE I DO NOT CARE IF YOU ARE TELLING A RELATIVE TRUTH YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT NARRATIVE YOU ARE SPINNING TO THAT GREIVING MAN

Wringing my hands together Fundy please the man that took your sister, the Mason is dead, the bastard is dead please 😭

I swear to everything if the finale happens and the server ends with Fundy believing Rat was a horrible person who used Lux instead of one of her genuine friends that would have died for her and who she sacrificed her life for I will burn my Winsweep plushie and bury it in concrete

This is so fucking evil that Winsweep is taking Fundy to the place Lux got trained by Rat to see if Fundy is combat ready, in the mountains, Winsweep you absolute narrative genius, but also severely I hope your boiler EXPLODES

It hurts man, hearing Fundy believe Winsweep and validate him when he is fucking not telling the entire truth and this is not what neither of them needs *head in hands*

"We can sit here and eat marshmallows togethers" Winsweep says pointing at an open campfire

I cannot I AM