#samsbong

hii so first of all he’s sexy :)

2nd of all he’s a very complex character who i enjoy thinking abt. like, vietnam vet who returns home from the war and just wants to settle down w the woman he loves (who the angels pushed him to be with. which adds another insane angle) and raise a family. and suddenly she fuckin dies and everything he’s ever known goes up in flames and he’s not a hunter he wasn’t raised a hunter he needs to figure this shit out on his own and it’s hard. he doesn’t know a lot about monsters, doesn’t know how many are out there, just knows he has to keep his kids moving to new motel after new motel to keep them safe

i think it’s funny that he... wasn’t necessary a great hunter? like he spent 2 decades tracking down the things that go bump in the night and yet sam and dean barely know what demons are in s1. it’s funny!

also he didn’t intent to drag his kids on an endless hunt. he wanted to bury a bullet between his wife’s killer’s eyes and then buy them a nice white-picket-fence house and sam and dean would grow up happy and then meet nice women and settle down and have families of their own. but he got so caught up in his revenge fantasy that he lost track of what his driving force was. he did neglect them, he left them alone in motel rooms for weeks without much food or money. he raised them in a way where they didnt have much connection to other people. like. they r codependent partly bc of his negligence

which i think is pretty well-paralleled to dean in the later seasons and how he saves sam at the expense of sam’s own wants and needs and pleas. dean forced sam’s soul back inside him against sam’s own wishes, dean pointed a gun at sam in his desperation to be free from god’s control and finally be able to settle down with sam. he always thought he was right. he hurt sam in his desire to protect him just like john did to sam and dean (don’t take this as being dean critical lol im love him. complex characters babyy)