#samlin

but i love celia and samxcolin more

so celia is now my wife and i ship samlin

its taking all my energy to not write a fic right now

New video 🔥💕

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https://www.instagram.com/tv/CN13IfenYtp/?igshid=13r9kyp2i59l5

sam focused and tried to bring out shi de's pain to the best of his capabilities. Instead of jumping straight to the crying scene which sam could've done if he wanted to! We actually get to witness sam diving deep into his character, whilst making shi de's pain seen, heard, talked about by people.

Getting into the same emotions as your entitled character for any scene isn't easy since it requires a lot of mental calmness and focus! while performing you have this pressure of living upto the audience's expectations which sam did beautifully!!

Now,, getting into shi de's mindset and what he was feeling, thinking in this very moment (from my pov, from how i see it ofcourse). To start with, I'd like to say shi de's outburst happened because of a lot of reasons and all the horrible, worst case scenarios he was mentally leaping into.

Shi de had always loved shu yi knowing that shu yi doesn't like him yet but someday hopefully he will (like him back). There was this teeny tiny hope that shi de was holding onto for his dear life which is why he was able to cope with something as emotionally painful as "one sided love" . Every moment he spent with shu yi, every thing he did for shu yi up until the moment shi de himself heard from shu yi "i don't want to fall for a man", shi de never gave up even though it was hard he continued loving shu yi with all his heart and all he could possibly offer to shu yi in expectations of someday getting his love reciprocated. Loving shu yi had became shi de's motivation, driving force, happiness and reason to keep going.

Since shi de's belief in the fact that someday the one he loves the most will reciprocate his feelings grew so strong and firm over time. He never thought of getting rejected, He never considered not having shu yi feel the same for him.

And when shu yi finally came to knew and confessed to shi de "i don't want to fall for a man" all of shi de's dreams and expectations came tumbling down. The worst case situations he didn't expected earlier was all he could expect of now. It was obvious he was hurt, because shu yi his first love said the same exact words he never knew he'd hear. For shi de it was like the world had ended, the love he wanted from shu yi would be the same love he would never be able to get back now. Shi de whilst thinking of the worst possible outcomes also realised he possibly can't make shu yi like him back and that he has now lost shu yi not just as a potential lover but also as his friend. There would be no reason for them to stay together.

Shi de also broke down because unrequited love is the toughest of all, it gives you wounds nobody but only you know of. wounds which grow deeper everyday you wake up to knowing the person you've loved for all of your life is out there giving your share of love to someone else whose not you but you wish it was you. Knowing your feelings can't be reciprocated even if that's all you've ever wanted. it wouldn't have been easy for shi de to love shu yi knowing he had feelings for yu xin. He was giving up, he was growing tired of not having his love acknowledged, appreciated. He was tired of not being able to just blurt his love out to shu yi because he didn't wanted to lose shu yi which he thought he had now that shu yi knew how shi de felt and has rejected his love.

even 'eyesocket' fits better thematically

well im proposing a new name

IT'S RIDICULOUS HOW I'M IN LOVE WITH SHI DE. ALL IT TAKES IS HIM TO SMILE AND I'D ALREADY BE BAWLING MY EYES OUT. PLS (my life is precious) I WOULD DIE FOR SHI DE AND I MEAN THAT. I LOVE MY BABY SO MUCH. LITERALLY THE SOFTEST WHIPPED BOI.

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