#sami.

sami has fairly light skin, i'd say around pale ivory. she also has incredibly sensitive skin to the point that she will burn so fast if she doesn't wear sunscreen or a cap on hot days. she also flushes super easily, her face is usually tinted red in some way. when she blushes, the top of her ears and her cheeks burn dark red and she can't hide it at all. adding on, i do think sami suffers from rosacea which is why she's perpetually red-tinted, it's something she'd be very embarrassed about even if she can't do much about it.

her skin is littered with freckles, most predominately around her nose and cheeks. she likes them and doesn't cover them with make-up, despite the weird looks she tends to get from it. the result of spending too much time out in the sun as a kid, always out in the backyard looking at the bugs or little critters lurking in the leaves or under rocks. sami was the kid who loved nature but hated sports so she preferred to play by herself, occupied by the interesting things she witnessed in the quiet of the morning glory.

she also has acne flare-ups often as well as old scars from acne. she gets the most on her chin, forehead and mouth. her skin is combination i.e. dry and oily skin where her nose and forehead are dry and flaky while her chin, upper cheek and sides of her nose are oily. she has a routine before bed for skincare but she's honestly the world's worst at keeping up with it because she gets so zoned in on what she's doing. she does make sure to at least shower and wash her face every day (with a gentle, alcohol-free cleanser). it's just the serums, moisturizers and toners that she struggles to use, especially after a busy day.

sami's eyes are medium brown, she likely has slight vision issues that later results in her gaining glasses but i also think she's the type to not wear her glasses all the time, only selectively like when she's studying. she refuses to get contacts, even if she thinks she looks like a nerd with her glasses on. she's squinting at something and you tell her 'hey, why don't you put on your glasses' and she goes '..............no' because she's stubborn and now she has to prove she can see (she can't). i think her eyes glow a little in the sunlight too, makes them sooooo much more beautiful than they already are.

she also has dark circle galore from lack of sleep, you can definitely tell just by looking at her that she doesn't sleep much, if at all. it's almost like light bruising beneath them that she sometimes covers with light bb cream or concealer but usually just sports them like an accessory because she knows they're kinda just there for life now. curse her and her terrible habit of staying up for too many days in a row or clocking in only 4 hrs or less of sleep a night because she's so busy. hashtag college life right.

her hair is dark brown, usually cut just above her shoulders. she doesn't like her hair being super long but she also dislikes when it's super short so keeping it a medium-ish length is the best for her. she tends to put in small ponytails or buns, anything to keep it out of her face, especially during long study sessions. she's not the best at taking care of her hair, she usually will just use shampoo and conditioner and call it a day, no hair masks or oils or anything. she doesn't like to style it and considers it a good day if she brushes it or dries it after a shower, don't make her do more than that.

her attire is soooo frat boy coded. when i say frat boy, i mean the whole graphic t-shirt paired with loose gray sweatpants. or the flannel shirt with a tank underneath worn with low-rise jeans and a loose belt that shows the waistband of her underwear. or a jersey with athletic shorts. she's comfort and casual before all else.. plus she just 1. doesn't understand fashion and 2. doesn't like to take forever to get ready. you get what you get with her. if you want her to wear nicer, prettier clothes, you have to buy it for her and make her wear it i'm not kidding.

unfortunately, i fear that sami's red flag is her inability to get new shoes. she is sporting the same pair of sneakers she wore in high school, with the shoe falling apart. she doesn't care, she likes them and will continue to wear them until she quite literally not wear them anymore. she doesn't own any other pair either, just those.

the earth speaks in whispers, the throb of life beneath her feet, caked in the dirt of travel and the callouses of their journey. her hair is a wild, bramble tangle that escapes the braid down her back, her eyes as empty as they are exhausted, scanning the ground for signs of passage. as the sun creeps down toward the horizon she glances sideways at her companion, illuminated in the golden glow of the afternoon sun. 

he looks impossible. 

like a statue made of bronze and twice as lifeless behind the eyes, he stands radiant beside her, a beacon of the power that the citadel so prizes. to look at him is to love him as much as it is to fear him and sami feels, acutely and fully, the fear that comes with that love. 

how could she not? 

her power had always been greater than her body, erratic and massive, and when they had needed her to hone it, it had been he they brought in, with tethered hands and wild eyes and a vicious delight. 

she shivers. 

“we should make camp for the night,” she tells him, breaks the silence that has stretched thin between them. “the forest is thick ahead and it will have slowed him.” she can remember the way he’d looked, in the cells. she’d seen him once, but it had been a sight burned to the back of her eyes. they’d promised her so eagerly that he was impossibly monstrous and incredibly destructive. but the boy she had seen curled on the stone floor and bound in thorns had not looked like a monster, nor a leader of men. just a boy, broken and asleep. 

she shakes the thought away. “there’s a stream this way,” she tells him, bared toes dug into the dirt, sensing the run of water. “we could set up near it.” she braces, for him to insist on another night of endless, sleepless, ceaseless chasing.

sami grew up with two parents, her dad (golf) and her mom (chat). her dad was a stay-at-home dad who cared for sami greatly, he's a big part of her and influenced her personality a lot - namely her kindness and nonjudgmental view of the world/people. her mom is a guardian angel who wants nothing more than to get her wings/halo and be recognized by the uppers but sami's rule breaks and behavior prevents her from it, impacting her and making her hold sami to a high standard/expectation that she can't reach.

she had no friends growing up, not from a lack of trying. sami is painfully both introverted and extroverted, she likes to talk and yap but she's very awkward, tends to fumble her words and stutters when she's nervous. she is almost overwhelming friendly, warm and kindhearted but some people view it as faux and distrust that she's being sincere or geninue with her feelings or emotions, making few keep her at a distance. she also is insanely clumsy and can trip over anything, making her the butt of the joke time and time again.

sami is not great with taking care of herself. her priorities are a little.. out of place. she puts her schoolwork and angelic tasks above everything.. and with her outrageous workload, she tends to forfeit meals and sleep in order to try and get ahead on things (it never works, she always ends up drowning even deeper under everything). she takes six courses per a semester for math, education and electives - her math specialty is algebra. she also takes a teaching certification class, does a few hours in classrooms for hours, has daily homework/chapter readings, exams/tests and essays.

as for her angel tasks, she receives daily and weekly tasks from messenger angels that depict her target, obtaining information about their crush, what she needs to encourage or a number of how many people she needs to give advice to, talk to or help set up dates with. if she doesn't meet the quota, it does impact her standings within the angelic world and earns her a stern letter from the uppers. they do not care that sami is trying to juggle college on top of it, they think that angel work is more important and that if she's struggling, she needs to lower her classes or dropout.

she goes days without sleep and tends to live off of around 3-5 hrs of sleep for the next 2-3 days, which often causes her to fall asleep in odd places such as the library, her lectures, at the cafe, at her desk in the dorm, etc. she's even fallen asleep mid-way through lunch before in the cafeteria! she eats usually protein bars in the morning, fruit when she can and tries to eat a decent lunch or dinner if she can make it to the dining hall in time before it closes. she often is the 'girl with a latte or redbull on an empty stomach' type and she regrets it every single time. you gotta bonk her on the head and remind her to drink water or eat something or take a nap because if not, she'll keep going and going and going 'til she can't anymore. she's stubborn.

a thing i always talk about too is that sami is very naïve and will always try to see the best of someone, even if they aren't giving her something to work with. she gives them multiple chances, she blames herself for what they do, she lets them be mean to her, etc etc. she strives to be kind and tough, even when she's incredibly sensitive and cries easily. in her eyes, an angel has to endure. to her, they're not sinful, it's HER that's sinful. she's in the wrong. your muse hurts someone? she must've caused it. they hurt her? she must've done something to deserve it. that's just how she is.

she's the type to be so desperate for friendships and connections that she'll endure anyone to have something. if you're touchy and clingy and talkative to her, she'll overlook anything wrong to keep this.. thing she has with you. she's so desperate, so overeager. she lacked friends for so long that she feels like she has to do anything to keep them around. because what if she missteps and loses them again? ends up having only herself, her dad and her hamster stu to talk to again? her classmates are indifferent to her, they don't like her but they don't hate her either. she's just a bit.. too much for people sometimes. either she's too loud or too touchy or too talkative, etc etc. she tries not to let it show how it affects her but it does.

sami's smile is bright and her personality is too but she's definitely the girl who shines extremely bright to kinda hide the issues she has inside, the struggles she's facing and the emotions she feels. she doesn't want anyone to know she's falling apart so she smiles and laughs and brushes off people's concern because she's fine, she can handle it, she can do it. she has to do it. she can't worry her dad and she doesn't want to anger her mom so she has to suck it up and do it, balancing both her lives haphazardly and grin like it doesn't hurt her or overwhelm her or stress her out.

" am i pure? does purity even exist? " you should be worrying about mathematical equations or studying for your upcoming exam, not this. but the thought circles inside your head 'til it's consumes you whole. there's a feeling fluttering somewhere within your ribs, something you're scared to place a name to. you swallow roughly, looking away as you fear what they'll say.