#samby

“Did you- did you kidnap me from the hospital?” Sam asked. She must of done. It had to be some kind of misery situation. There was no other explanation as to why Sam would go running back to her.

“What hospital? What are you on about?” Ruby sat down on the floor beside him, narrowly dodging the needles on the floor. “Sam, you came back to me because you love me, remember?”

Sam couldn’t remember. It did sound like something he’d do though. Of all the people in his life, Ruby was the only one who was there for him no matter what. The last conversation he’d had with Dean replayed itself in his head. Cas and Dean didn’t want to be friends with him. They were looking for excuses to not have to hang out with him. Of course he went back to Ruby.

“Dean doesn’t-”

“Dean doesn’t love you, I know. You explained this to me when you came knocking on my door.” Ruby completed his sentence with a smile, blood-red lips curling. “Sammy, it’s only a matter of time before you stop running away to me, and just live with me again.”

“But Cas-”

“Cas can afford to pay your half of the rent. Hell, he might actually find a roommate he wants to spend time with.” The words dripped from her lips like poison, each drop of venom burning Sam a little more. He could still feel the pain of the car crash. Even if Ruby didn’t know what had happened, she had to see the pain on him.

She liked that though — she liked seeing Sam in pain.

“Face it, Sam, I’m the only one who’s ever really cared about you. I’m the only one who ever will.”

She was right. Sam hated to admit it, but she was right. Every argument with Dean, every tear he’d shed – Ruby was the one that had been there to mop it up. Maybe she liked his pain, but maybe she just liked to nurse him better. He let her kiss him again, and again, and again, until his face was a mosaic of ruby-red lipstick. Until he was marked as hers. He was hers, and he’d always be hers, as long as she made him feel loved.

“Listen, babe, I gotta go out. I’m meeting Lucifer about a shipment order. I’ll be back before dinner,” Ruby told him. She stood up and looked around the apartment before turning back to him. “Just don’t do anything stupid. Wouldn’t want you to hurt that pretty little vessel of yours. Oh, and don’t call your brother, we both know he doesn’t want to talk to you.” And with that, she was out of the door, leaving Sam alone in a filthy apartment with nothing but drugs and alcohol around him.

The air in the apartment was stifling. Sam didn’t know if it was the mould growing on the walls or the fact that Ruby liked to hotbox the room every now and then. Back at Cas’ apartment, where he’d been living since he last broke up with Ruby, everything was clean. Sam liked clean; he liked the strong smell of chemicals that came with cleaning, and the sense of doing something good and healthy. Cas just liked things to be neat. It was one of the reasons Sam liked living with him so much.

And of course, because he could sleep in the room next door to his crush.

That didn’t matter anymore. He’d pick a day when Cas was working and sneak back to collect all his things. It was better than inconveniencing Cas with his presence anyway.

He set about cleaning up Ruby’s place. It didn’t need to be too clean — I’m meeting Lucifer for a shipment order was code for I’m buying a shit tonne of cocaine and that meant there’d be people over that night. People like Ruby, users and addicts who wouldn’t care that the walls are stained green with damp. The only reason Sam had for cleaning the apartment was for his own peace of mind, and to stop him from thinking about Cas or Dean… or something much much worse.

He fought through the pain and sat up. He had a long day.

Ruby, true to her word, was back before dinner. In fact, she entered with a bag of take out in her hands. Sam hated take out food, hated the grease sitting in his stomach, but he was in no frame of mind to argue with her about something so stupid. At least she’d bothered to go out and find him food. She had a huge smile on her face as she set the paper bag down on the floor beside the door. She locked it behind her, trapping the two of them in the apartment together.

“Sam, babe, guess who scored some meth!” Ruby lilted. Sam’s eyes widened. Of all the crazy stupid things Ruby had done, she’d not used meth; at least, not around him. Sam had heard the horror stories – hell, he’d seen some of the people that took it. But Ruby had a packet of pale pink powder in her hand, and that meant that she was going to at least try it.

“You’re not- you’re not really gonna take that, are you?” Sam asked timidly. Ruby laughed and tossed the packet towards Sam.

“Of course I am. Lucifer’s coming over later and we need to show him how well his batch works,” she grinned. She took off her jacket and threw it on the ground next to the the take out. “Do you want some, Sam? I got Chinese.” Sam shook his head. The drugs had thrown him off; just thinking about them was making him feel sick. Ruby mumbled something to herself and picked up a carton of food, practically wolfing it down.

Sam waited patiently for her to finish eating before he brought up the meth again.

“Look, Ruby, I don’t think you should do this,” Sam started.

“You? No, Sam, we’re doing this together,” Ruby replied. Before Sam could respond, Ruby had taken the bag out of his hand and was opening it up. She lined it up on the floor, and Sam was momentarily fixated on the thought that it wasn’t clean, that the floor was dirty. But that was the least of their problems. He watched Ruby roll up a one dollar bill from her pocket and use it to snort the meth. She pulled her head back up and gave Sam a gruesome grin. Blood was dripping from her nose.

“Your turn, Sam,” she said. Sam tried to protest, he did, but Ruby forcefully handed him the dollar bill. “You need to do it, Sam. Prove you love me. Prove to me that you’re thankful that I love you. I’m giving you good quality shit here, Sam, for free. I want to see you snort it. Prove that you love me.”

Dying from a drug overdose couldn’t be any worse than living knowing Dean hated him.

Sam leant over and snorted like his life depended on it.

It took a few minutes, but Sam felt his heart speed up. It was like a jackhammer in his chest, beating louder and louder, like it was in the room with them. Suddenly, everything felt so good. He stopped thinking about his brother, his dumbass roommate. He stopped thinking about how much he hated himself. Only the beautiful woman in front of him and the elation of the drug pumping through his system filled his mind now.

His heart wouldn’t stop though. It became too much pretty quickly. Pain started in his arm and moved to his back, and then his chest. Fuck, fuck!He might have been dying. He fell back to the floor and let his body stop working. This was what he’d signed up for.

The door to the apartment blew off its hinges. Somehow, Dean and Cas had found him and they were stood in the doorway where the door should have been. They were saying something, something Sam couldn’t hear. And then, like sun breaking through clouds, he could hear them clear as day.

“Sam, you’re in a coma.”

“You need to fight, Sam. You’re dying, man. You need to fight whatever’s going on in that brain of yours,” Dean begged. He seemed close to tears, and the last time Sam had seen Dean cry was when Ben was born. The time before that, was when Sam had graduated college. His brother didn’t cry often, but he was so close to crying as he stared at Sam dying on the floor. Cas stepped in for him.

“Sam, I know things seem bad but they’ll be worse without you here,” he said. “You need to get out of the coma, but first, you need to survive whatever’s going on right now.”

With Dean and Cas there, Sam managed to get his breathing under control. If they were right, if Sam really was in a coma, then he could control his dreams. He closed his eyes and concentrated, imagining a safer time when him and Dean were kids. He felt his heartbeat slow down, falling into its regular pattern.

What the hell was he thinking, taking what Ruby had offered him? He’d been down this path before, and he knew where it led. Ruby wasn’t right for him. He looked back up to Dean and Cas, who were stood over him, offering dry smiles.

He didn’t need Ruby and her drugs to make him feel better. Not anymore.