#sambient

I dont know who I am

Dont know if i ever knew.

I don't know what's going on

Don't know what I'm gonna do.

Most the time I think no one understands

That's why I stay on my own.

I stare at my own hands

Imagining all the veins and the bones.

I think that I used to feel pleasure

And I think that I used to dream

But now all I think I feel is pressure

And the sense that I am unclean.

I don't feel the want to do anything

And there's nothing left I wanna know.

Only my night terrors are enlightening

And I kinda wish I died years ago.

I hate living this way every day

But I don't know any other way.

I keep on going, it is all I know but I feel nothing now

Living every day in avolition.

You know I hate the word addiction

Because I know that I can be too disciplined

But there's something moving underneath my skin

(it's probably just another thing that I imagined).

No one understands why I'm paralyzed

Now limited by my body, by my mind.

Everything is agony realized

All delusions and hope, intertwined.

Avolition means that I'm empty

I don't even have the want to cure me.

Motivation isn't to take lightly

It gets dark when you're living in apathy.

Mostly I just wish there were something

Standing between me and the calm void

But I think I'm at peace with the nothing–

[Instrumental]

[Days are spent wasting away

My nights are pretty much the same

Time has started to lose meaning

And hands started to lose feeling

I...]

I don't wanna do this again but

I don't know how to face the world straight.

I'm doin' all that I can, but,

Honestly I'm not feeling that great.

Keep saying those self affirmations

Hopin' that one of them is gonna stick

But you can't be shiny forever

When all you've ever been's sick.

And maybe I deserve somethin'

That'll help me cope with the strain

I know that it's bad for me but there's

Gotta be more than just pain

Pain, pain, pain, pain, pain, pain, pain,

More than just PAIN.

Pain, pain, pain, pain, pain, pain, pain,

I like the sound of rain on my tin roof

It reminds me of good times in my youth

When I would lie and daydream all day

Imagining a thousand ways I could run away

//

Now I'm 24 and it's still raining

Just existing has never been more straining

People voting for a government that wants me dead

They don't even care that their hands are painted red

Mum and I are watching tv and we're getting scared

She didn't realise just how little people cared

About the poor, about the weak, about the vulnerable,

About the people that didn't choose to be trouble

I guess it's my fault for believing in my country

I thought we called ourselves a place for people to be free

But some people just, don't care who gets hurt