#sam;

Gabriel: Actually, probably not until after Asmodeus. I mean, sure...I thought he was a nice tall glass of water since the Crawford Hall days, but I never actually felt...close to him. I felt like he actually cared and wanted me to get better, y’know? I guess just that and spending so much time together, I fell for the guy.

Sam: I always had a “weird little crush” on him, according to Dean, even back when we just knew him as the trickster. But...Gabe’s right, we never really had anything until the last time before he...

Or even now, actually. I feel like there could have been something there before, but we never got the opportunity. Obviously now isn’t the best time for it, but...when is, for us? So we both got our shit together and went for it and we don’t regret it.

That was part of the problem. He still didn’t know. Harder to shake than what should’ve been self-preservation, and that was even quieter than his unease after hearing about her conversation with Osun. Either way, it was what had him walking through the doors of Lou’s, purposefully choosing the quieter hours between lunch and dinner. Settling quietly on one of the red stools at the counter, fingers laced in front of him.

“Sam.” Uncomfortably absent of any honorifics, considering, but it was the name he had for her. “Do you have a minute?”

New Year's Eve had been a bit of a blur for him because of a few pills he’d popped earlier just to get him to relax a bit and be able to enjoy the night without feeling like he’d jump out of his own skin. He’d spent most of the night with Sam because, well, he wanted to. And plus, Sam was interesting as a person and made something tug inside Fabian’s chest, something he was not at all familiar with. For the past few minutes, he’d been outside smoking a cigarette which he’d promptly stubbed out when he realized what time it was.

He makes his way inside the club and spends a few minutes just trying to find Sam. And then when he does, his stomach drops in a feeling that he is entirely too unfamiliar with. There are many emotions Fabian knows he’s never felt and this has to be one of them because he can’t even fucking name the damn thing. But when he sees another man crowding Sam, lips locked in a kiss with the boy, well, Fabian sees red.

He grabs the guy by the shoulder and pulls him off and away from Sam roughly, one hand flying towards his face and connecting with his cheekbone with a loud sound. The other guy looks at him with wide eyes and to Fabians delight, in his eyes he sees fear. “Fuck off,” he says through gritted teeth, letting the other go with a shove before he turns to Sam. “I—fuck. Happy new year, I guess.”

i don’t normally go off on one or even complain really

but just sick of people only talking to me when it benefits them.

how about be my friend and talk then maybe i’ll be more open to doing things with you. i know people get excited about their own stuff but im human too. be interested in me and what i wanna do/write.

not to say if you’ve only just followed me im gonna be like no get away. this is more of a way of saying im not just here for your benefit.