#sam screams

(to the tune of mitskis class of 2013) mom ........ can you trim my bangs

today in the open diary of a neurotic but i always have 2 remind myself that WORRYING ABOUT SOMETHING isnt the same thing as PREPARING FOR IT so the best way to deal w the low anxious overwhelmed hum of everything i need to do at the back of my mind is to break it down into tiny actionable steps

seeing mildliners on the studyblr feed in the year of our lord 2024 brings me back 2 that undefinable moment in second yr college (8 yrs ago) when i got my first pack (color palette: cool and refined) and i felt that my academic life was to be changed forever and that i could take on memorizing all of southeast asias geographical features in one night so long as i wreathed them in dusk blue and smoke gray highlights

(hand tenderly cupping my own cheek) i love you because you try

feeling vulnerable but i wish i could tell my younger self hey sam in some way u do get to live ur dreams when you grow up [taking rudimentary violin lessons with an orchestra musician ... getting to play piano in the palazzo vecchio in florence and getting applause] .... isnt that huge isnt that amazing!

it's just before 12 am and i'm working on an affidavit but i loathe it and my eyes are heavy but if u told me 4 yrs ago i'd still be here and i'd make it this far and didn't get kicked out i'd probably laugh at you so yes i'll keep formatting this silly little legal document this in itself is a privilege

*crying foaming at the mouth* THEY POSTED THE POLISHED EPIC AUDIO CLIP I NEEDED-

hello again i am in my FINAL semester of law school (if youve been here since i was in my second yr of undergrad you know all ive done is fail kick and scream my way through various degrees) . i saw the asks ppl left my askbox and i will get to them -- i'd just like to give well-considered answers. some updates! 1. i took on several extracurricular positions and felt like drowning every second but on the whole they turned out quite well 2. i spent a gorgeous little month in europe (spain and italy) and ill be sharing pictures soonish 3. ..... my therapist said i should look into getting an adhd diagnosis ....... which confirms a lot of suspicions ive had over the yrs if true but yeah. on the whole i've been living well. terror means you're alive and that you're doing something new. i wake up, heart pounding, but somehow the light in the corner of my room looks soft and blurry and hopeful