#sam d

“What?” You deadpanned, eyes glaring at the paused TV.

“Can you let me in? I want to see you.” His speech was a little slurred and slowed.

Eyebrows frowning, you stood up but made no move to the door. “Have you been drinking?”

A soft sigh was your answer before he knocked again. “You’ll find out that answer if you open the door...”

Before you could stop yourself, you finally went towards the door, “Jung Kiseok, did you fucking drink and drive all the way over here?! Do you know how dangerous that is? You could’ve killed yourself, or someo-”

Unlatching all the locks, you swung the door open and had to take a step back, otherwise Simon would’ve smashed right into you. The strong odor of soju and his favorite beer assaulted your nose before you finally took a look at him. He had on a black hoodie, which reeked of soju as well as was damp from the rain outside. His grey sweats were a little wet as he sat down at the door and kicked off his Jordan’s.

You stood out of the way and shut the door, replacing all the locks once again. Glancing back at Kiseok, he was now standing on unsteady feet, making his way towards your couch before plopping on it like he had done so many times before this.

He had gotten a fresh haircut since you last saw him. It was a bit shorter than last week, yet still stuck to his forehead in a way that was wholly too attractive. The anger and frustration of earlier was disappearing quickly and you didn’t like how easy it was for him to weasel his way into your heart again.

He groaned in discomfort, arm falling over his eyes. “Why do you have so many lights on?”

You chose to ignore that you only had the hallway light on and turned it off, “Why are you here?” The only source of light now came from the paused comedy show on the TV.

“I can’t want to see you?”

You didn’t like that he was answering your question with one of his own and folded your arms to show it. You stood at the foot of the couch, frowning deep. “Don’t you want to go to your little girlfriend’s place at this hour?”

Even drunk, Kiseok noticed how your tone changed. “Little girlfriend? You mean Nayoung?”

Your scoff was louder than you intended, “Whatever the hell her name is.”

Removing his arm from his face, he sat up a little unsteady and stared at you blankly. You met his stare head on and clapped yourself mentally on the back when you didn’t so much as blink. “What’s with the attitude?” He questioned after a long minute.

Swallowing your anger for a moment, you looked off to the side. For someone who dated many women, he was really clueless when it came to a woman’s emotions. “I don’t have an attitude.”

He blinked as if he didn’t believe that at all, narrowing his eyes slightly. “Is that why you blocked me?”

Manicured nails dug into your sweater. “Is what why?”

“Stop avoiding the question, ___.”

“I’m not.”

He stood on wobbly feet, his glassy eyes missing how your hands darted out to steady him in fear of him falling, and pulled out his phone from his pocket. With much difficulty, he manged to unlock the phone and shove it in your face. “See? I tried calling you, like, two million times. It goes right to your voicemail. Yet when I call from this phone,” He whipped out the sleek black phone in his other hand. “You answered that?”

Maneuvering him back to sit on the couch, you sat next to him and batted the phones from your face. “Whose phone is this?”

Kiseok clumsily put the new phone back in his pocket as he pouted slightly, “Mine.”

Your curious eyes scanned him up and down, “Since when do you have two phones?”

Seeing him distracted with trying to come up with an answer, you snatched his phone from his hand and saw all the phone calls he’s made to you over the last few days. Starting from Wednesday around 2AM.

Angel Face (8) - Outgoing Call: WED. 2:13AM ... Angel Face (17) - Outgoing Call: WED. 4:52AM ... Angel Face (39) - Outgoing Call: THUS. 1:07AM ... Angel Face (23) - Outgoing Call: THUS. 3:26AM ... Angel Face (32) - Outgoing Call: FRI. 9:49PM

“I figured you’d answer if it wasn’t my number. It was on sale so...”

You locked the phone and sighed. He bought a whole other phone just to call you. You didn’t miss what name he had for your contact either. He had called you Angel Face as a cute nickname and you thought it was so cringe that he felt the need to call you it all the time. It would be sweet if you weren’t still hurt from him dismissing you like you were some infectious disease. His eyes were looking for something in your face but you tossed his phone on his lap and stood.

“I thought you’d get the hint, but I guess not.”

The way Kiseok leaned back in the couch, arms coming to rest on the top of it almost had you crawling onto his lap. But you held your ground. He wasn’t going to get to you that easily. 

You continued, ignoring how he smirked when he saw your eyes wandering over his physique, “We’re nothing but acquaintances so why are you calling me so many times? If you’re here to fuck, you can go run off to your girl’s house ‘cause you’re not going to find it here.”

His head tilted and you had half a mind to smack him when a scoff left his lips. “Was what I said wrong? Would you have rather me say we were fuck buddies? Lovers? Booty calls? Take your pick.”

Finally, you felt that white hot sensation creep into your veins once again. Kiseok was the only person who could get you to change moods at an alarming pace. His control over you only amplified your frustration with the rapper. “Is that what this is to you? Just a booty call?”

He let out a humorless chuckle and you had to remind yourself now was not the time to have this conversation. You weren’t even sure how much he drank, but you’ve never seen him as drunk as he was right now. “Don’t act like this was something more for you when it clearly wasn’t.”

It was true that you had never made your feelings very obvious but if he had taken the time to actually read in between the lines, he might have figured it out before all this mess. You felt a little regret that you didn’t expose your feelings beforehand but you didn’t think he’d go out and find himself a girlfriend. You couldn’t stop the sharp tears that built up in the back of your eyes before taking a shaky breath.

“I’m not going to go back and forth with you anymore. You’ve made your decision, fine. Give me your keys. You can sleep here tonight.” Without giving him much warning, you dug into his pockets and grabbed his keys before he could take them back. “Stop drinking and driving. That’s just careless.”

You turned on your heel and were about to retreat into your room to cry yourself to sleep, when a large hand wrapped around your wrist. Gently, Kiseok tugged you to stand in front of him again. “Why am I blocked?”

You tugged your wrist weakly. “Because...You can’t just do what you do then get a girlfriend without telling me.”

He clicked his tongue, grip letting go of you. “What does this have to do with Nayoung? That was just dinner, ___, you know I’m not tied down to anyone.”

You sighed heavily before continuing on to your room, “Yeah, maybe that’s the problem.”

Before he could say or do anything, you shut the door behind you.

It took a few tears and a few reruns of old sitcoms for you to finally shut your eyes for the night. Even then, it was a restless sleep and you woke twice to toss and turn.

Just having Kiseok so close but still out of your reach was enough to distress you, even when you were unconscious.

Finally, around five am, you couldn’t take it anymore and got dressed. You took your time, hoping in the back of your mind that he would be up and sitting on the couch waiting for you.

As you quietly stepped into the living room, all hope that you could talk with him flew out the window.

Kiseok was wrapped in the throw blanket you kept on the couch, softly snoring into one of the decorative pillows. You took a step closer, placing his keys on the coffee table and clearly in his view. Hopefully he had slept off most of the alcohol and would be fine to drive. You were still upset that he would be stupid enough to even drive here in the first place, considering how far his apartment was from yours. 

Due to his height, he curled into the couch in such an adorable position. You felt your lips pull into a smile at the sight before you looked away.

Deep down, you knew you should stay and wait until he was up to talk with him but you couldn’t shake the feeling that he would reject you.

He would use the excuse that he was too busy...

He has too many things to juggle at once right now...

A relationship would complicate everything.

He wouldn’t be able to focus on you anyway.

All things that were true.

But, you had excuses of your own.

You wanted to live a normal life. Having a celebrity boyfriend is anything but normal, plus you didn’t want to be in the spotlight if you could help it.

And you had a daughter. You didn’t want to bring her around someone who wasn’t in for the long haul and unfortunately, it looked as if Kiseok wasn’t the man to stick around.

Feeling the familiar sting of tears in the back of your eyes, you decided now would be a good time to leave. Before he woke and saw you like this. 

If there was one thing you hated, it was crying in front of people. Especially someone you cared about deeply. With a shaking sigh, you grabbed your purse and went straight out the door.

Hours later, a faint ring finally stirred Kiseok from his deep slumber. There was a quiet lull in the house that pulled him back to sleep for a second before the vibrations of his phone rouse him once again.

Groaning, he fished in his pockets for the offending device, and blindly answered. “Hello?” Unfortunately, the buzzing still continued and he was forced to open his eyes to see he had the wrong phone.

Finally getting the right one the second time around, the call ended. With a frown, a large hand rubbed his eyes before taking in all the notifications that popped up.

Twenty missed calls from Jay with almost double the texts from him. Hoddy called a few times and a few from Loco as well. What the hell...

Oh.

Didn’t they have a company dinner last night?

What the hell happened?

He couldn’t think too much on it because Jay called back. He answered immediately. “Jay?”

“Bro, where the hell are you?! You can’t just disappear on us like that!” In the background, he could hear Loco saying thank god they finally got a hold of him.

“What...What even happened last night?” He asked, sitting up on the couch and instantly clutching his spinning head.

There was shuffling on the other line before Jay huffed, “You got wasted and were talking about some chick before you stormed out of the restaurant. Do you not remember?”

Pieces of last night were coming back to him slowly as Jay continued to lecture him about being reckless. His label mates had convinced him to take the night off to go eat with them. He felt bad for making them worry the last week, especially since he could see the concern in their eyes over the past couple of days. They could tell he wasn’t himself and to pacify them, he agreed to go out to dinner with them all.

Usually he could handle his alcohol pretty well. He hadn’t drank that much in a long time and obviously they hadn’t been able to cut him off after the fifth bottle. He groaned, remembering how plastered he was as he was ranting to them about his feelings for ___, who they had never once met or known about until that very moment. Through the course of the night, he had gotten progressively drunker and when Loco had taken his phone when he tried to call you, he remembered getting pissed and snatched it back, storming out of the place and straight to his car.

And he ended up right at your door, knocking and calling until you opened it for him.

You, in your comfy sweater, hair messy and out of your face, with no make up on and eating Chinese take-out. He had thought he was looking at an angel. 

That was when he realized he was in far too deep.

He could remember going back and forth with you and groaned again. Kiseok hated to upset you and was thankful that was the first time you two had argued.

He was careful not to drink too much in front of you because he knew how loose his tongue could get but that was definitely down the drain now.

“Where are you? Who even is ___? You’ve never spoken of a girl to any of us, are you seeing her? I coulda sworn you went to dinner with that Nayoung chick though...”

“Fuck,” he cursed under his breath when he finally looked around and noticed just whose apartment he was at. “I’m good, though. I crashed at...a friend’s.”

“You’re lucky you didn’t get hurt or hurt someone, as drunk as you were last night...Do you need me to come get you? I can have someone drive the car back-”

“No, no,” he denied quickly, snatching his keys and pocketing them. “I’m pretty fucking sober now.”

“Alright. Drive home safe then. Let me know when you get home.” The younger grumbled a bit more before he finally cut the call.

Standing up, Kiseok had to steady himself, bending slightly to not fall over with how fast his head was spinning. It felt like it would split wide open at this point. Thankfully, it was so quiet in the apartment that he could only really hear his own breathing.

Once he was gathered enough, he took a few hesitant steps towards the hallway, peaking into the open bathroom.

“___?” He called into the quietness of the hall.

When there wasn’t any answer, he went to the room he frequented the most, your bedroom. With a knock, Kiseok waited a beat before opening it. He expected to see you in there, but it was empty. 

Disappointment filled up before he sighed and closed the door. It was nearly one in the afternoon. If you weren’t home, it wasn’t likely you’d be back soon. Maybe you were at work-

The ajar door next to your own caught your eye. He’d never really explored your apartment and you had never offered. He figured it wasn’t important either but that door had always been closed. You had your own bathroom connected to your room and he had been in the main bathroom that was right across from your room so he knew this one wasn’t a bathroom.

You worked from home some times so it was probably an office of sorts?

Either way, he opened it, pushing it softly. “____? Are you in here?”

He wasn’t expecting...this.

I have not completed the series but I got pretty far. Currently I’m up to 6 chapters but I think I will add two more to finish it all up. Maybe three. I might go in and edit here and there but for the most part, they’re gonna be out every Thursday!

I’m sure you have questions so feel free to ask them!

I did edit and change around little things in the first two chapters so here are the links to them:

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3