#saltober

Original challenge post by @miss-disliker here

(Note: I feel like I'm probably not going to finish this challenge bc 1. I don't get super mad at things these days? Not because I'm like super zen and forgiving or whatever, it's just I…don't really care? Like make whatever horrible mary sue wattpad fifty shades ooc self insert yaoi you want and make money off it or whatever, I don't give a donkey's balls about what you do. I also have the memory of a goldfish so like. I physically cannot remember to stay mad for very long 2. I'm also probably not going to remember to do it bc goldfish brain)

Ok. So. Keeper of The Lost Cities. It had everything. Elves. Hidden world. Magic bullshit. Obligatory food p0rn. Graphic horse sex (offscreen, referenced). Sophie Foster.

Sophie motherfucking "ohh I have a photographic MEMORY and special magical POWERS and I have super special brown EYES I'm actually an ELF I'm pretty even though I'm NOT boys won't stop chasing after me Ohhh my life is so HARRRDDD" Foster.

13 year old me fucking ABHORRED her. She was the main reason why I used to hate mary sue type characters so much.

Original post here

Uhh I don't play a lot of video games sooo…here's a fun little anecdote from my childhood instead :)

Ok so. My second eldest brother is six years older than I am. That meant that to little me, he was a certified Cool Kid. When I was little, like real itty bitty little, I would just hang around him near constantly and try to copy whatever he did. I also used to watch my brother play video games on the computer all the time. Wasn't really interested in playing myself, just liked to watch. He did try, once, to get me to play Pokemon. I don't think I ever made it out of Pallet Town.

The one game we did play together was The Sims 2, which was pretty much one of the most interesting things to do as a kid in an internet-less house. It's one of my fondest childhood memories. We used to do all sorts of fun and whacky things in Sims 2, as all normal, well-adjusted kids tend to do.

There was one thing in particular that we did, that I clearly remember to this day, and that was from time to time, we would adopt an orphan, and we'd build a little room around the orphan (no doors). Next, we'd put as many wooden chairs as we could fit in the room. And finally, we would put in a stove (I'm sure you know where this is going). We would then make the orphan turn on the stove.

And then, we waited.

Some time later a fire would break out. The chair the orphan was sitting on would catch fire, so the orphan would freak out, stand up, and then go sit in another chair (there was nothing else to do, the room was literally filled to the brim with chairs). And then that chair would catch fire, so the orphan would get up, sit in another chair, rinse and repeat. Sooner or later, the fire would burn through all the chairs, and well, you know.

All this time the fire department would be outside the house, just kind of wandering around the orphan-killing-room and scratching their heads. (You see, the lack of doors wasn't just to keep the orphan in, it was also to keep the firefighters out)

And me and my brother, neither of us even past 12 years of age, would laugh like the sweet angelic children we were.

Original post here

Ok so. I feel like I should preface this by saying I am NOT by any means a picky eater. I love vegetables. Spinach? Makes my teeth feel fuzzy but delicious. Sweet potato leaves? Superb. Celery? Smells funny when raw but tastes great stir fried. Bitter gourd? Fucking delicious, especially when sliced and fried with eggs. Eggplant? Makes my mouth itch but I still love it. Broccoli? Not my favourite but still tolerable.

My point is, I'm not a picky eater. I'm ok with a lot of things.

Now, let me tell you about a plant called huáng dì miào (皇帝苗）

It's the most disgusting thing I've ever had the displeasure of eating. It's a plant cultivated by the devil himself, to torture sinners in hell. It's what you would feed a kid if you wanted them to grow up hating vegetables.

First of all, it's fucking slimy. Someone, somewhere, long ago, intentionally cross bred generations of this plant to make it slimy. Who the fuck breeds a vegetable to be slimy?? And it tastes weird. I don't even know how to describe it. I mean, okras are slimy too, but at least they taste good! This shit is just straight up disgusting. It doesn't even go with anything, because it tastes so fucking weird. What the fuck man.

(Side note: to whoever decided to start growing huangdimiao as an edible crop like 500 years ago: fuck you)

(Side cursed note: since huangdimiao is proven to be edible and nontoxic, and also slimy, I bet you could make lube out of it)

I wanna do a SAL-TOBER! For all those people that have drawn SALVICON! Will be show cased, with their blog, and art of SALVICON they did for me!