“I’m not seeing it,” Selena finally said. “Should I dunk my head in a trough and just start over?” “What? No. I mean, maybe. Anything would be an improvement at this point. You’ve really overdone it with your hair.” Selena ignored Laslow’s pout. “But, I mean. Is this really a date?”

My first of two birthday fics for @kimium! Happy birthday!!

Las slow down, your brother’s the rabbit not you

The awakening/tax evader trio will eat anything.

Living through the apocalypse means you can't be picky. If it will not kill you, then you gotta eat it. He has the same tastes as Yarne and prefers veggies but Yarne actually can't eat meat because he's a rabbit so Inigo will put meat into his diet.

But Saizo doesn't know that, he just thinks that his sweet husband likes his food or is nice enough to lie to him.

He doesn't know that Inigo lived on unseasoned chicken for a time.

Asugi is really good at dance so that he can squeeze into Inigo's circle and convince him to marry his dad so his dad can stop thinking that he's tramatized by his parents separating.

Except he realized that Inigo's paying more attention to the kids who haven't been training to be ninjas. He's not trying to favor his daughter, but gosh. She is not coordinated at all.

So Asugi has to step it up. He’s going to injure himself, so that Inigo has to call his dad and then they’ll meet and fall in love.

So Asugi hurts himself and they call Saizo and Saizo shows up, very worried about Junior, and Asugi’s like “hey, mr. Inigo’s really good at taking care of kids wink wink”

And Saizo is like “Saizo the sixth. What on earth are you talking about.”

In comes Asugi’s partner in crime. Soleil tugs on her dad’s shirt and is like “he’s not a cute girl but he looks like he could lift a ton.”

So Olivia’s watching this all and is laughing because it is kind of adorable watching kids try and figure out what adults look for in romance.

So Saizo leaves with Asugi and Asugi thinks that he and Soleil failed but luckily for him, he accidentally pulled a cinderella and left his little ninja backpack.

Inigo seeks out Owain to seek out his DnD buddy Leo to seek out his bf Takumi to help him with Japanese because they're going to visit his dad's (Lon'qu) parents this summer.

Takumi gives Inigo a hick accent.

Takumi wonders why Inigo doesn't know shit about his dad's home country, and Inigo's like "I don't know, dad was a teenage runaway and doesn't talk, I'm Russian my guy" and takumi's like "oh yeah I guess that makes sense. If you're in (whatever) prefecture, let me know. My brother knows a guy. He'll hate you, but he knows his way around." And Inigo's like " oh thanks, is he going to make fun of the accent you're giving me?" And Takumi's like "not to your face."

So that summer, Inigo can make his way through a store as long as he makes sure no one can see him and as long as he doesn't actually need anything.

And they are in whatever prefecture, nice, and Saizo is like.... Down to help them around because Ryoma asked nicely.

And he gives of the same "don't touch me, don't look at me" vibe as Lonq, so it's not totally uncomfortable.

Lon'qu's parents know Saizo as the red one. Kaze is more sociable so everyone around there just know him better. But Ryoma knows Saizo, so they're hanging with Saizo.

Lon'qu's able to take Olivia around no problem, but Inigo is clingy in public spaces where he doesn't know the language well. So Lon'qu asks Saizo to take care of his son, and scare people away from him so that he is safe. Ryoma told Saizo not to be mean to Takumi's friend, so he agrees.

Saizo thinks that it's pretty interesting that Inigo is nothing like what he heard from Ryoma and Takumi. "Womanizing dork whose hubris will be his down fall" Inigo very quiet, doesn't make direct eye contact, has trouble ordering food for himself. This guy is a disaster of a human being.

Except eventually Inigo does get comfortable around Saizo, and he starts acting a little more in line to what he expected, but like. not towards girls. he still can’t initiate conversation with girls. but to Saizo? huh, wonder what that- oh god he’s hitting on Saizo.

And Saizo doesn’t know what to do with this information.

Inigos cute but like.... he’s going back home at the end of summer, so that’s not gonna work. but oh no he’s cute. AND LIKE HELL IS HE GOING TO LET HIS LITTLE BROTHER GET MARRIED BEFORE HIM, STAND ASIDE CORNKAZ, SAIZO’S GONNA FUCK. Or at least figure out how to stay in contact with this guy that he likes hanging out with and is kind of cute and clingy and his dad already left him in charge of this sweet idiot disaster boy, sooooo.