#saithefirebender

[[ Okay, it's time you and I and everyone else who feels this way had a conversation about this sort of thing.

Guys, on a daily basis I get an inbox full of hate, telling me to kill myself, telling me that tumblr would be a better place if I was gone.

Do you know WHY I get this hate?

"You're an elitist cunt, you think you're better than everyone else."  "You're so arrogant, how dare you act like you're better than everyone else!"  "Nobody's good enough for you."  "You don't give anyone a chance if they're not as good as you!"

Can anyone.

ANYONE.

Link me to a time when I've EVER said ANYTHING to that effect?

Look, I understand that if you're intimidated by my writing, it can be a little scary to approach me.  But what would you have me do?  I'm serious, somebody tell me what I should do to fix that.  Anyone?  Any ideas?

Literally the fact that I write as well as I do (and I'm not gonna touch whether that's 'good' or 'great' or 'average', just...whatever amount that is, I'm referring to that amount)...  Just the fact that I write as well as I do IS WHAT IS UPSETTING PEOPLE.  What am I supposed to do?  Start intentionally misspelling shit all through my posts and force myself to write poorly, just so people aren't as scared of me?

Then I'd get hate for being a shitty roleplayer, AND I'd be unhappy because I wouldn't be writing for my own entertainment any more, I'd be writing in a way that isn't true to myself, just to make myself seem less intimidating.

I cannot help that I write as well as I do.  I've fought hard to get as good as I am, and I continue to struggle on to get better.  And every time you people say "oh you're too good for me", what you're saying is that my existence alone upsets you, that I literally should be ashamed of my skills.  The fact that YOU are too afraid to approach me gets ME labelled as an elitist and has my inbox filled full of hate on a daily basis.

And I'm supposed to sit here and say "thank you" for that?  No way in hell.  That isn't a compliment to me as a roleplayer, that isn't a compliment to me as a person, and it's actually hurting me, every bloody day.

Stop it.  Please, for the love of god, stop it.  YOU ARE HURTING ME WHEN YOU DO THIS.  And I don't care if it's intended as a compliment, IT IS HURTING ME.

If you're afraid to approach me, I'm sorry.  I don't know how I can make that better except to keep giving people the opportunity to approach me.  But continuing to say stuff like "you're too good for me" and "I'm not good enough" IS ACTUALLY HURTING ME AND MAKES ME CONSIDER FUCKING DELETING AND QUITTING.

Messages like this are why my ask box is constantly being filled with gems like "Elitist cunts like you are what's wrong with this fandom.  We all hate you and want you to get out.  Actually, just kill yourself.  It'd make the world a better place, not just the fandom.  If nobody's good enough for you, then maybe you'll find some friends in hell."

Furthermore, frankly I think messages like this are a type of blackmail.  I don't know you.  I don't know who you are or what your roleplaying is like, but now that you've sent in that you're 'not good enough', now I have to start complimenting you and promising you that your roleplaying is wonderful.  If I don't do that, then the harpies will fly into my ask box and screech about how mean to you I am, how dare I not say you're the most wonderful thing ever, how it proves that I'm an elitist bitch.  But the thing is, I don't know you.  I can say you're good enough, because I don't believe anyone is "not good enough", but how can I compliment your roleplaying and have the compliment mean anything when I haven't actually seen it?

So fine.  I'm an evil meanie bitch because I'm not going to shower you in compliments and praise just because you came into my ask box and insulted yourself.  And I'm an evil elitist cunt because other people don't think they're good enough to talk to / roleplay with me.  Even though I have ABSOLUTELY ZERO CONTROL over other people and how they think and feel.  Okay.  That makes sense and is fair and makes me want to continue roleplaying.