#saidem

It had been Xigbar’s idea, of course. The worst ones usually were. “A bonding activity,” he’d called it, “so everyone stops tryin’ to kill each other all the time.”

Saix was pretty sure that if he had to spend an hour stuck in a corn maze with his “comrades,” he’d rip someone apart with his teeth. 

Said comrades were behind him having a gay old time enjoying the wonders of Fall, like leaves falling, leaves rotting, leaves getting all over Marluxia’s clothes so he kept on turning them into yellowjackets that’d sting the children who came to pick apples… 

“Marluxia can do that?” asked Roxas. He was always asking questions about things. Saix wished he would stop.

“He can do whatever he wants,” Axel replied, because he cared more about children and thinking he was said children’s father than he did about anything else. Saix wished he would stop, too.

Not that Saix cared. Nope. He was so totally over Axel. He didn’t cry to Taylor Swift songs when he went to sleep even though Demyx says Taylor Swift isn’t even a good singer because she TOTALLY is, Demyx.

Larxene and her girlfriend Elsa (they had picked her up on the way to “Iowa” from her home in Arendelle, which was a very long trip that they only made because Larxene threatened to cut off Saix’s hair if they didn’t and Saix was the one driving the Shuttle Bus That Never Was through the dark corridors) were busy trying to see if they could make a snowstorm and force everyone to go back home. But little did they know that the cold wouldn’t bother Xemnas anyway. 

Demyx, as of this moment. was leaning over Saix’s shoulder, following his gaze as he watched the clock tick, tick, tick. Demyx was… well, Saix didn’t like putting a name to it, but he would probably best describe what he and Demyx had as a consensual workplace relationship.

Eventually Xigbar pickpocketed a dad who was in line behind them (it took a while since he was wearing a fanny pack), and they paid for fourteen wristbands (once Axel reminded Xemnas that Xion existed).

“Good tidings, friends,” Xemnas said once they all wore their blue paper wristbands. (Except Demyx, who was sticking his tongue out as he attempted to wrap it around his wrist without sticking it to his sleeve.) “This day will be remembered, for we will make it so. As the sacred moon rises over this pumpkin patch, we will carve our names into the orange, succulent flesh. And in this way, we shall be remembered, if only by...”

“Give me that,” Saix said, tuning out the rest of Xemnas’s monologue to put Demyx’s wristband on him.

“Aww, you do care~” Demyx winked. This one only took twenty seconds.

“I care about getting out of here as quickly as possible. Which requires getting in there as soon as possible.”

“...and this unity will knit our hearts as one, so that we may one day become one with the Great Heart. Now, let us proceed.”

As soon as Xemnas finished talking, Axel and the two children dashed towards a playground made of hay bales. Saix hoped that Axel did not catch any of them on fire. Or maybe that he would? That would probably get them kicked out quickly.

Marluxia, Larxene, and Elsa split off towards the pumpkin patch. Lexaeus, Xaldin, and Luxord ambled towards the advertised “pig races”, probably in attempt to wage bets, though Luxord would have a difficult time wagering without any of this world’s flimsy currency. That left Zexion and Vexen, who looked about as excited to be here as Saix was. And Demyx and Xigbar and Xemnas, of course.

“I don’t see how we can encourage ‘bonding’ if half of our number up and leaves,” Zexion muttered. A book was tucked under his arm. It made Saix wish he’d thought to bring some paperwork to do while stranded here. 

“They didn’t even allow me to study Elsa’s ice magic...” Vexen harrumphed.

Saix rubbed his temples. His wristband itched where it rubbed below his glove.

“Yo, losers.” Xigbar swanned his way over to them. “Who wants to race me and Xem through the maze?” He jerked his head towards the sprawling field of corn.

“Why in the name of Kingdom Hearts® would we want to do that?” Vexen snapped.

“Yeahhhh, kinda sounds like I’d get sweaty.” Demyx laced his fingers behind his head.

Xigbar grinned. (Saix suddenly wished that he had followed Luxord, or even Marluxia or Axel.) “You ever been to a metal concert, Demyx?”

“Duh. I’m not a poser.”

“Then you know what they do to guitars at the end, right?” Xigbar picked a discarded corn cob up off the ground and snapped it over his knee.

Demyx squeaked. “Saix is on my team!” He latched onto Saix’s arm like an octopus, or a contagious disease.

“And I’ll eat Flamin’ Hot Cheetos in your lab,” Xigbar told Vexen.

Vexen rolled his eyes. “Can you be any more immature, Number II?”

“Easily.” Xigbar stuck his arm under his other arm and made a fart sound; Xemnas clapped politely. “See?”

Vexen rolled his eyes even harder. “I wish I didn’t.”

With that, Vexen walked off in the general direction of nothing at all, before realizing he didn’t know where he was going, and walked back over to the group. 

“Where’s the apple cider stand again?” he asked.

“To your left.” Xemnas pointed to his right. 

Xigbar snickered. Xemnas withheld a devious chuckle.

“Thank you.” Vexen nodded, apparently not paying enough attention to see through their little charade.

“Vexen—!” Zexion speedwalked after him, following straight into the corn. “I would like some too, you know!”

Saix (having removed himself emotionally from the situation altogether, not that that was hard, what with being a Nobody) had the sneaking feeling that even if they had made it to the cider stand, Vexen would still disallow Zexion from the alcoholic variety. Why did he even bother going with? 

Ah well. That was two down, at least.

“Y’know, I bet we can catch some pig races and still beat those slowpokes out of there.” Xigbar jerked a thumb in the opposite direction. “AND still have time for a cup or two ourselves afterwards.”

Xemnas nodded. “Indeed.” And off went the two lovethatneverwasbirds.

Finally, just Saix. Just Saix. Able to bask alone in the light of this tacky pumpkin show, just him… 

...and Demyx, who had yet to let go of his arm.

“Xigbar can’t snap your sitar,” Saix reassured him. “It’s magic. Besides, he can hardly snap his fingers.”

“He’s been practicing,” Demyx whispered into Saix’s sleeve. Still clinging. Just because Saix sometimes cried into his chest at night did not give him the excuse to make such a nuisance of himself in public.

Saix picked him up by his tall hair until he let go.

“Ow ow ow FINE! You could’ve just asked, you know!”

Saix dropped him. Demyx brushed off the front of his coat, even though it wasn’t dirty.

“Rude. So, what’re you gonna do now that Axel ditched you?”

“Axel did not ‘ditch’’ me.” Saix gritted his teeth. “I am choosing to give him space to make his terrible choices.”

“Cool. You wanna get some kettle corn?”

“...Fine.”

XXX

Vexen’s irritated grumbling echoed from somewhere deeper in the corn. Xigbar had plenty of practice tuning that out by now, though. He just took it as reassurance that he and Xemnas were gonna kick Vexen’s bony backside. Pushing through in a straight line was WAY smarter than anything that bozo was up to. Or any of the other bozos.

The corn smacked against Xemnas’ pretty face as he trailed along behind Xigbar, unbothered.

“Would you love me if I was a cornstalk?” Xigbar asked, waving a stalk of corn that had broken off from the rest in Xemnas’ face.

“What?” Xemnas looked perplexed. “A cornstalk?” he said, emphasizing the k. 

“You heard me.”

“Well, I would if you were sweet corn, but not if you were feedstock. Or maize.” Xemnas counted off the different kinds of corn on his fingers. He had very particular preferences about corn. “I ‘love’ you in all the ways a Nobody could love. And is that not what matters?”

Xigbar’s veins rushed with what should’ve been blood and was instead nothingness, leaving his cheeks the same light brown color they’d always been. “Awh, shaddup, ya big sap.” 

A silence fell over the maze as they continued to walk. Xigbar would’ve thought it boring, if not for the fact that Xemnas’ hand was clinging tightly to his. He could imagine the warmth that should’ve been between them, and the thought warmed the Xigbar’s Heart That Had Once Been.

“Do you think... you could make a corn pie?” Xemnas commented offhandedly after a few minutes of this thinking and this pushing through the corn. “It would no doubt endear me to you endlessly if you were a corn pie.”

Xigbar didn’t know if you could make a corn pie. He had been alive for a lot of years, give or take a couple thousand, but the stuff had never once crossed his path. 

“Sure?” He shrugged, looking over his shoulder to give Xemnas a grin that wasn’t in the least incredulous, not at all. “Whatever makes you happy.”

Xemnas smiled. He only ever smiled at three things: Xigbar, pie, and Kingdom Hearts®. If Xigbar was talking about pie and it made Xemnas start beaming, that was like a double score on the Xemnas smile chance count. One day, he’d need to try to go for a triple. Maybe he could make a Kingdom Hearts®-shaped pie. 

Xigbar continued to walk, dragging Xemnas forward through more of the corn, and thought about the last time he had gone to a corn maze. He’d been a talking dog back then! That had been a weird body to be in, especially because talking dogs were not allowed in the corn maze. It could’ve been weirder, though. It could’ve been that time the guy’s body he was bumming got turned into singing silverware. At least he’d been able to stab himself into a new body with the pointy parts on the end of his head.

Xigbar looked back at Xemnas to make sure he was still with him. Xemnas’ hair trailed behind him as he floated just a bit above the ground, the corn still smacking him in the face as it unparted from Xigbar’s parting. His hair sparkled in the not-Kingdom-Hearts® moonlight like silvery mist, and Xigbar tried not to think too hard about what it felt like to touch it.

He could always do that later. In the Xemnas’ Bed That Never Was. While they cuddled and watched High School Musical 16: The Musical That Never Was together.

Not in the middle of a corn maze in the cold and dark.

“Huh.” He squinted up at the moon when they broke through into a clearing. “You think that’s gonna cause a problem?”

“Hmm?” Xemnas took advantage of the momentary reprieve to comb debris from his hair. Not with his fingers, but with an actual comb, the boar-bristle one he liked. He always kept one in his pocket, just in case. He was very vain sometimes; not that Xigbar minded. Not at all.

“It’s full,” Xigbar pointed out, and the big orange moon smiled in a way that would’ve been pleasant if not for the transformation it boded. “Probably should’ve done some recon before inviting Saix along.”

“I would not exclude a member of our Organization from the festivities. He is responsible enough to behave himself.”

Suddenly, a high-pitched howl cut through the corn.

Xigbar gave Xemnas a dry look. “Yeah, ‘m sure he is.” He yanked Xemnas into a run.

The two pushed through the corn and it whacked against their faces, rough like a shark’s skin. Xigbar ducked under an ear of corn, gleefully remembering that one time he was a mermaid, and it accidentally whapped against Xemnas’ face.

“I read a Warriors book once that included a plotline of a cat going blind from running through corn,” Xemnas said with his deep, musical voice as another cornleaf hit him in the face. “It was a manga.”

“Yeah?” Xigbar asked, cocking a brow. “Where’d you uh, find it?”

“Hell,” Xemnas said.

“Ah.” Xigbar didn’t know why he was there and didn't ask. Probably still having an identity crisis over the memories of his components or something like that.

Saix howled again, somewhere behind them. Ugh. He was going to sabotage Operation: Eat Cheetos in Vexen’s Lab.

“Of course, it was only temporary,” Xemnas continued as Xigbar did a loop-de-loop around one of the lookout towers. 

Actually, could werewolves climb? Maybe that would be a good place to hide out for a bit. Plus he could keep an eye on Vexen and Zexion from up there. And maybe spot Demyx’s fading dead body.

“Of course,” Xigbar echoed. “Up here, Boss.”

He held out a hand to Xemnas, offering a playful smooch to Xemnas’s knuckles when he set his palm in Xigbar’s (Xemnas made a sort of ‘hmm’ sound as he did). Xigbar helped him up the wooden steps, even though Xemnas was floating a few inches above them anyway.

“How disappointing. I had been looking forward to solving this puzzle,” Xemnas said as he surveyed the dramatically altered maze, as if he and Xigbar hadn’t been crashing through it this whole time.

Still, Xigbar whistled. The whole northeastern quadrant had been flattened by Saix’s little rampage. Vexen and Zexion were still trapped in the southwest, so at least they’d survived the carnage. Demyx was nowhere to be seen, but—

Wait.

“You seein’ this, Xem?” He grinned.

For anyone without Xigbar’s sharp eyesight, it might’ve been hard to make out. One black coat blended in with the other—Demyx, riding on top of wolf-Saix’s back. A few whoops and hollers could be made out over Saix’s howls.

“It is very fortunate that the coat can change shape with its wearer,” Xemnas noted. “And they seem to be having as much enjoyment as Nobodies are capable of. I would consider this a monumental success.”

“Not if they beat us out of here, it’s not,” Xigbar said lightly. “C’mon, we’ve got a stupid and pointless race to win.”

XXX

The true punishment for finishing the maze last was that the loser had to buy everyone else apple cider. Luckily, Zexion lagged slightly behind Vexen, and he could create illusory ‘dollars’ more quickly than anyone could steal some.

Saix was still a wolf. Demyx made Zexion get Saix two mugs of cider, on account of him being so much bigger now. Definitely not so Demyx could steal some more off of him, nope.

“Stop that,” Saix growled up at him. “I may not have opposable thumbs, but I can still see you.”

A little kid gaped at him from across the way, tugging on his mom’s sleeve to go see “the big talking dog.” The mom hurried him away with a nervous glance.

They were lucky Saix hadn’t gotten them kicked out. His wristband hadn’t fallen off when he’d transformed, so he was still technically allowed inside. If only because they’d been too fast to get caught wrecking the maze, and because it was probably above the employees’ paygrades to try confronting them.

Xemnas sipped his cider contentedly. He was squished up against Xigbar on one of the fallen logs that surrounded the crackling fire.

“This has been quite the eventful day. Almost as eventful as that time that me and Xigbar went to—where did we go again?” he asked, slurring his words slightly. “The place with the—rat? Kitchen?”

“Paris.”

“Paris!” Xemnas exclaimed, grinning and throwing an arm around Xigbar. “Oh, how I almost missed having a heart in the city of love. Unfortunately I didn’t—I didn’t have a heart with which to yearn! I don’t!” 

Xemnas laughed again, and Xigbar watched him with half-lidded eyes.

“If they start having drunk makeouts,” Demyx grimaced, “I’m gonna puke.”

“At least get off of me before you do,” Saix growled. “Wolf form or not, I would prefer to stay somewhat clean.”

Demyx rolled his eyes. This was nothing like the books he’d read about werewolves. Those usually had them tearing their shirts off and revealing killer abs. Saix just kind of got… fluffy. At least he was probably more fun to ride on top of than the miniature ponies across from the firepits.

“Just cuz you don’t doesn’t mean we can’t give the whole yearning thing a try,” Xigbar teased, setting down his own mug of cider to throw his arms around Xemnas’ shoulders. “Whaddya say we yearn, huh?”

“You can ‘yearn’ me any old day,” Xemnas said, a little awkwardly, before he and Xigbar’s lips met and—

Vexen covered Zexion’s eyes and gasped in shock.

“Okay,” Demyx said. “Definitely going to puke.”

“Don’t you dare.”

Demyx was nice enough to get off Saix’s back first. He made it towards the center of the fire pit, where his vomit made the fire sizzle acidically. At least Zexion didn’t see that, because Vexen was still covering his eyes. Hopefully it didn’t matter that Saix saw (and was covering his nose with his paws). Demyx was pretty sure he couldn’t sink any lower in Saix’s books. His failure to meet any kind of romantic standard hadn’t stopped Saix from hate-making out with him to make Axel jealous before.

At least Saix was a good kisser. Xemnas and Xigbar made it look like the only people who could ever appreciate their style of smooching were each other. Plus, they were old and gross.

“Can we go home now?” Demyx asked loudly.

“‘Can we go home now?’” Xigbar mocked as he broke the kiss, hardly getting to finish his quip as Xemnas pulled him back in again. 

“I believe the Superior is too… er, tipsy to stop us,” Saix said, as quietly as he could in his deep wolf voice. 

Demyx wasn’t sure how that had happened. Zexion hadn’t even been allowed to purchase the alcoholic cider. Maybe Xigbar or Xemnas had stolen it.

“I am not typically one to go against our Superior’s wishes…” Vexen muttered, “but in this case, I think a swift exit is warranted.”

“Agreed. I would rather not remain blinded the rest of the night,” Zexion said.

They stood up, shuffling awkwardly away until they were sure that Xemnas wouldn’t order them to come back. Once they had escaped the pumpkin patch, Demyx opened a dark corridor.

“You think the others’ll be alright?” he asked.