#safety.

i’m sure plenty of minors are interested in sex and bdsm. it’s not something that just suddenly develops at 18. but your interest doesn’t give you the right to interact with anybody. and in fact, interest and curiosity don’t mean you are entitled to ANYTHING. at any age, consent is mandatory to engage in sexual activity and especially in kink. so you need to think of it less as a condescending “no kids allowed” space and realize it’s about the boundaries of other people and about safety, which is really important in sex and in kink. if you want to continue to be involved in it, start showing your maturity now by respecting other people

consider other avenues to explore your interests that don’t require breaching the boundaries of other people. do research, find informative books, read kinky novels, or seek it out various fanfiction. but don’t violate people’s boundaries just because you’re curious

You know what's more important than being STI/STD free? Testing and communicating your status to your partners.

this is a great question, thank you for asking! it can be really difficult to navigate this space for a D type. there is a lot of guilt, shame, and fear around fulfilling the Dominant's role in kinks like cnc and sadism, because without trust and consent and communication, it would be assault. these concerns can be compounded further if the D type has a identity that's often villainized, made out to be aggressive/ perverted. my partner, for example, is a person of color and has expressed that they would not have brought cnc up on their own because of racial stereotypes

this is why i encourage s types to bring up their kinks (especially hard kinks) first when they can. you can assuage a lot of your partner's concerns this way <3

with all that being said, here are some ideas for how to start that series of conversations (from a blank slate):

step one is that you need to be able to talk freely and openly about sex. that doesn't mean you can't be embarrassed or shy-- it does mean that you need to be able to communicate your interests and limits to your partner, talk about your sexual experiences and what you enjoyed, and most importantly, be able to communicate your boundaries. if you don't have boundaries, you're not ready for kink.

step two, you should start discussing kinks with your partner. no matter if you are an D type, an s type, a switch, top, bottom, or vers, you should start talking about your interests and then boundaries again, this time around specific kinks. this is where the terms hard and soft limits come in handy. sometimes there are things you know are a No without needing to think much about it. those are hard limits. soft limits may be something you're not so interested in, but you would explore. your limits may change! but it's a great way to start

step 3, try making a list of kinks you want to try as an activity with your partner. this is what me and orion did. we made three columns with yes kinks, soft nos, and hard nos. you can go about it how you like. we sat together while making them but kept it mostly to ourselves, then shared them at the end. i recommend this because you'll get a better impression of your own interests and limits this way. especially if you are a people pleaser and tend to sway to other people's ideas. then swap or read through them together. this activity can be an exciting thing to do together, but it also takes a lot of trust to reveal some of our desires (especially if it's taboo or maybe we still feel guilt or shame about it)

step 4, explore that space together, especially if cnc isn't explicitly on their list. that's not the end of the story, right? maybe they don't know about it as a kink, maybe they know it and are interested, but were unsure if you felt the same. (maybe you also didn't put it on your list, worried about what they would say). see if there are any common threads to consensual non-consent scenarios, such as rough sex, the idea of hate sex, different roleplay scenarios, bondage, gags, wrestling. really any activity where you modify or take away a person's ability to say no or fight back. it may come up naturally, it may come up in porn or fanfiction or movie conveniently. you could even purposefully introduce movies or tv shows with those elements and maybe flirt with your partner in a "oh that would be kind of hot" way and see how they respond

step 5, ask them gently but directly. if you're concerned that using words like consensual non-consent or r*pe play etc would make your partner uncomfortable, introduce it differently. as an s type for example, you could ask them: "how would you feel about doing this scenario as we planned, but i pretend i don't want you to?" or maybe as a D type, "do you like it when i'm forceful with you?" "how would you feel about being chased" "how do you feel about trying like a hostage or kidnapping roleplay?"