#sabrw

VID 1: 6 Things I Regret Buying

P: I had a dream that there was an owl in the car. I don't know if that was a nightmare or not.

D: That would be distressing.

P: (laughs) It would! Uh, yeah. But I think we've got about two hours to go before we get to Liverpool.

D: Yay roads!

P: The jewel of the north. Is that what they call it?

D: I- I think so.

P: I don't know.

[Dan rapidly zooming into and out of Phil's face]

P: Stop zooming in on my face.

D: How'd you know?

P: I can tell.

VID 2: Dan and Phil and A Tiny Horse

P: Feeling cozy. Just wanna... put my... body in a pumpkin spice bath.

[cut to Dan's zoomed in face]

P: Why whenever I get the camera back from Dan, he's zoomed in this much on my face?

D: (laughs)

D: Actually it’s the- the Japanese philosophy. Y’know it’s Wabi-Sabi.

P: Yeah.

D: It’s natural. The things that are organic- Nothing is perfect in nature.

P: Mmmhmm.

D: Ergo, the weirder your roof, the- the better.

P: Ergo.

VID 1: when you see a slash fiction involving you, do you read it as if it were you or a different person

Um... not that I do that very often, but um... I don't know like i- it's hard because y'know I would... pretend that it's like me, but some of them are just like... there are- there are things that are just slightly wrong.

Like there was one that was uh... a Pokémon themed one with me and Phil. And, they said I used a heracross [disappointed stare]. Like, seriously? Like if you're gonna write a Pokémon fanfiction about me, I would not use a heracross. Like if it was like 'Dan whipped out his Gengar', okay. But, seriously? I mean how am I supposed to take that seriously.

VID 2: I will go down with this ship

You wanna write fanfiction about me having hot Poké sex under the stars with one of my friends? Well, knock yourselves out. But to say that my favourite Pokémon is a Goldeen? Are you kidding me?

Literally the lamest Pokémon. It's just a goldfish, for fuck's sake. What does that say about me?