#saatff headcanons

So. I forgot how old the boys canonically are, but this popped into my head while I was in the shower. It's not great, but I might write something about it. It is set pre-episode 13, and before the boys get their vehicles. Enjoy! 💖💖💖

So, Kane and the delta team are chasing down a criminal and the guy steals a car. Kane just starts barking orders and is basically like, "you three, grab a vehicle and cut him off at (insert place here)". He receives three blank stares in response. Stretch and Wingspan don't know how to drive, and Omni-Mass flat out says he's not legally allowed to drive. Kane is frustrated.

Omni-Mass ends up at the wheel of a car with the other two in the backseat. They get the criminal, but the car ends up a smoking wreck. This makes sense later on.

Going back to Rook tower, Kane is informed by Jonathan that the three need to learn how to drive because of a project he has in the works. And he's going to be teaching them. He is not amused.

The first lesson is an adventure. Kane doesn't want to do this, and neither do the boys. Kane makes sure to tell them to do what they're comfortable doing and that he'll just be observing and correcting them as they go. Their lessons will only last about an hour, for all of their sanity's sake. He learns the hard way that an hour is too much.

Wingspan is up first. He doesn't want to get into the car. It takes a good ten minutes to convince him that Kane isn't just going to throw him out on a highway and expect him to know everything. They get about as far as starting the car before Wingspan gets nervous again. He knows all the controls on a car, learned from his parents, but he'd never driven before. They're in an empty parking garage, so there's plenty of room, but when Kane finally gets him to put it into drive... Well. Wingspan won't even put his foot near the gas pedal. He drives at idle, about ten mph, and uses the brake almost constantly. It takes half an hour to get up and down a floor. Kane doesn't show it, but already his nerves are ground to dust. Still, it's not the worst case scenario. That comes next.

He's more apprehensive when Omni-Mass volunteers to go next. He foolishly assumed that the incident with the criminal was a one-time thing. He was very wrong. Stretch and Wingspan pale and put a healthy distance between them and the car. By clinging to the ceiling. That was the first sign that something was wrong. Omni-Mass seems to know his way around the car and is ready to go. He states that he knows how to drive, and would Kane mind if they went out into the city? Kane agrees, his second mistake. Everything seems normal until they pull out onto the highway. Then it becomes clear that Omni-Mass can turn vehicles into weapons of mass destruction. Speed limits are taken as suggestions, lights are run, close calls are had, and at one point the boy decides it is appropriate to take both hands off the wheel and turn completely around to gesture at an aggressive tailgater. The 'oh shit' handle is used liberally. At the end of the hour when they pull the car back into the parking garage, it takes a good five minutes to get his fingers loose.

"Who taught you how to drive?" "Oh, I taught myself when I was like, nine. My parents weren't home, I was bored, and I saw some cool action movies. I'm banned from driving in three states for some reason." **Noodle incidents happened in which law enforcement of those three states decided it was better to ban him from driving than to let him out on the road. Also, he was 10, 12, and 14 respectively during all three incidents.

After a break to calm his frayed nerves and lecture Omni-Mass on everything that he should never ever do again, it's Stretch's turn. Stretch hasn't been in a car for years. His dad takes public transportation like him and he never saw any reason to have a car. Their hour is the least stressful, mostly talking about the different controls and how to use them.

So, Rook ended up being evil. A great plot twist, but I can't say that I didn't see it coming. I kind of didn't want him to be evil though. I had so many ideas about who he was as a person, and now they're all kind of invalid. 😅 I figured I'd type some of them out for future reference (maybe an AU? I mean, I like that they revealed him to be the bad guy but I also kind of want a world where he is good), so here they are.

"Jonathan no" "Jonathan YES": His working relationship with Kane in four words. He can be levelheaded and calm, but he has just as many moments where he's doing things that most people consider dangerous. Tbh Kane sometimes feels more like a babysitter than the head of security.

Papa Wolf when it comes to the boys. He may be the laid-back authority figure, but the one time someone managed to kidnap the Flex Fighters... the results were unpleasant. (A giant Mecha may or may not have been involved)(I mean, rich inventor plus some of the most advanced technology in the world is asking for overkill)

Is either the Best Boss or the Worst Boss depending on who you ask. He'll keep you up for days on end when fixated on a new idea, but at the same time he's super nice and you get practically unlimited resouces to work with.

Is most definitely involved in a lot of the research and development that the company does. If he's not dealing with the business requirements then he's down in a lab somewhere.

Has been kidnapped several times and broke himself out in under an hour each time. And then spent the next three utterly ruining the people who thought they could get away with it.

He may be a good guy, but he is not a doormat. You mess with his company, his people, he will ruin your life and smile while doing it.

If his PA didn't remind him he'd probably show up to meetings in his pajamas.

Has zero self control when he gets an idea and rolls with it. See hiring the Flex Fighters. I mean, the man had PR, names, costumes, and probably a whole lot more in under a day.

Once nearly blew his arm off because he got distracted while dealing with unstable chemicals. The distraction? A runaway robot, one with an experimental AI, from one of the other departments. After the explosion his employees found him inspecting every little detail and actually cooing at it.

Has always been fascinated by superheroes. When Kane mentioned the strange powers that the three "hooligans" had displayed it took approximately three seconds for him to latch onto the idea and call the PR team.

All three boys love Christmas. It's a day that usually holds good memories.

Ricardo's parents aren't home for this one. They haven't been for years, but they at least take the time to call him and talk to him.

Jake's father is on a business trip. With all of the tension between them, Jake can't help but feel that it's better that way.

The Park family had already 'adopted' Jake years earlier, and then Ricardo when he became friends with Nathan. The two boys spend Christmas Eve and Christmas day with them.