#s8.

               derek hadn’t said a word after making that announcement to the team.  his mind was drowning in thoughts and emotions and couldn’t pick one to focus on.  no doubt derek hated buford.  everything that man did to him and other kids  -------  even rodney  -------  warranted that.  he every right to hate the man that betrayed his trust and took away what remained of his childhood after his father passed away.  but part of him was upset that he was dead.  buford became a father figure;  kept derek out of trouble and helped him with football.  but he was also upset that now buford couldn’t suffer in prison.  he couldn’t finish out his punishment for his actions.  then there was the part that was glad  -----  relieved  -----  that he was gone.  he got what was coming to him.  no religious views or beliefs on his part were going to save him once the truth came out.  not for him.  not in jail.  but all the same,  derek feels guilty and ashamed for feeling all these things and all for different reasons.

               the jet lands and derek makes no move to get up.  he’s lost in thought.  eyes once greeted by white,  fluffy clouds  ( beautiful,  soft,  comforting.  so close to heaven )  was now greeted with asphalt  ( ugly,  hard,  dull.  closer to where buford was sure to reside now if he believed in any afterlife or religion anymore ).  not a word is spoken to him and he’s grateful.  derek takes his time when he does get up and grabs his bag.  he knows there’s no new messages,  but he checks his phone regardless and goes straight to his truck without a word to anyone.  and he sits in silence.  alone in his truck.  he knows the isolation isn’t good.  has seen what it can do.  so he makes a decision to text hotch an address.  derek’s destination is his current pride and joy.

               ----------  the shutters on the large window of the main room now.  an accomplishment that fulfills his need for control.  he opens them,  the few moments left of sunlight streaming into the house and illuminating the floors in a soft,  warm glow.  his mind hasn’t stopped thinking about the case.  about rodney and his son.  james.  keron.  the innocent people murdered.  how things could have been different.  derek finds himself looking up,  towards the sky.  not even bothering to give the opening front door a glance.