#s160

I’m pretty sure this is from back at the start of Act 5.2, when John was wingmanning hard for Rose. We’ve never seen Vriska talk to an incarnation of John from before the session, but we know it happened at least once, because he remembers her threatening to kill him...

...which, now that we've seen the full breadth of Vriska's arc, is a little strange. I thought John might become a thorn in her side later, leading her to seek vengeance, but that didn't end up happening. Vriska is at her least murderous when talking to John, so why would any incarnation of her actually want him dead?

AG: Hi, John human. [...] GT: excuse me, alien time troll, but i am TRYING to wrap a present. GT: really, you all have the worst timing.

Aradia might officially represent the Aspect, but they’re all Time trolls to John, and Kanaya literally just got done trying to explain Paradox Space to him. Hell, he probably thinks this is Kanaya’s alt.

AG: Yes, I can see that. Two ugly garments, and seeds for some kind of strange earth vegeta8le? Pretty lame present, John!!!!!!!! GT: nope, not going to ask how you know my name, or what i'm sending, don't care.

We’re back in John’s Denial Era. The deeper truth of his existence is currently hidden from his perception, a fact represented in his sleeping Dream Self.

I don’t think we’ve ever seen him ignore this much weirdness, though. It’s incredibly suspicious that Vriska knows so much about him, but the suspicion just rolls off his brain, like water off a duck's back.

GT: and one of these ugly garments is for me, also, it's not ugly, it's awesome. AG: Not as awesome as something you will 8e wearing later, thanks to me.

Ah, this is starting to make sense. She’s not really threatening John, she’s just promising to kill him. Which – look, I know that sounds just as 8ad, 8ut hear me out, John!

AG: I will 8e giving you the gift of immortality! GT: oh sweet, that has been on my wish list, ranking just below a mint condition little monsters poster, starring hollywood superstar, howie mandel. GT: can i expect it to arrive on my next birthday?? AG: Yes, as a matter of fact. Nice guess! AG: It will come at a cost though. GT: the mandel poster, or immortality?

TT: I thought you didn't want me to analyze your dreams anymore. TG: no but this one is too good not to put under the microscope with your whole precocious psychotherapy shtick its almost laughably symbolic of all my mental problems assuming i actually have those

TG: i just want your professional take on how many things in my dream symbolize dicks TT: We've already established that all of your dreams are packed with enough homoerotic symbolism to lift Freudian theory from the ashes of discreditation.

These two are just consistently hysterical. The Rose-Dave dynamic is seriously underrated, and even though we've seen plenty of their friendship in action, I still think we could do with more.

TG: yeah thats a given but i didnt even dream about puppets this time […] TG: it was so much more relaxing and enjoyable TG: it was about me dying repeatedly

Compared to a Cal nightmare, that's basically a holiday.

TG: i was in this dark place surrounded by this big flock of crows […] TG: there kept being these traps like i would go one way and get my head chopped off TG: or go another way and get stabbed or whatever TG: and every time i died the dream reset itself and i was standing there alive and ready to try to escape again

Subconscious anxiety about your future role as a Time Player, got it.

We’ve talked a lot about this already. Homestuck’s version of time travel is ruthless, doling out death for every misstep. It’s particularly unfair to place the timeline in Dave’s hands, since his life was already being plagued by a ruthless antagonistic force that couldn't be reasoned with.

Another flashback, eh?

...nah, I'm not buying it. I think it's a lot more likely that this is another dream bubble. Dave has temporarily died, and he's taking a little pit stop in the afterlife.

TG: heres one for you TG: its a whopper TG: are you ready TT: For what? TG: this huge fuckin whopper im about to just say […] TG: im talking about a dream i just had

Bubble or not, this is still a flashback to a real event - which means that Rose really does make a hobby of analyzing Dave's dreams. Sorry, but that's kind of adorable.

TT: You mean a canard of behemothic embellishment? […] TT: Or was your resolve finally dismantled by the siren's song of all that flame broiled beef? […] TG: ok first do you even have burger kings out in the fucking woods TG: why do you reference things that obviously arent in the woods like terrible burgers TT: I'll limit my establishments of reference to lumber mills and sugar shanties from now on.

Pretty sure I know what’s happening here. Some fans looked up the GPS coordinates for Rose’s house, realized that she’d probably lived in the woods all her life, and jokingly ragged on her for making references she shouldn't know about.

TT: Also, there's a Burger King less than forty minutes from my house. [...]

She lives in the countryside, guys. Not Mars.

TG: i mean it was a doozy like psychologically speaking TG: doozy is a slightly dumber word than whopper TT: Certainly less delicious. TG: it was absurdly heavy handed my subconscious was really slathering it on

Lest we forget, Dave was awake on Derse before the session had even started. He may not have been consciously aware of that fact...

...but that hasn’t stopped a few things from leaking in from the other side.

TG: its possible that i dreamt it ironically i dunno

LMAO

Alright, that may have been the funniest thing Dave has ever said.

TG: are you busy TT: Yes. TG: cool listen to this

I totally understand Nepeta’s perspective here. She’s always been hyper-aware of the meteor’s relationship dynamics, and would naturally be overwhelmed by the interpersonal implications of pursuing Karkat.

That said, I think this was a misstep on her part. I don’t think that Terezi – the rival I assume she’s alluding to – would actually mind sharing Karkat with Nepeta. The latter is clearly looking for a redrom, and Terezi always seemed to have red and black feelings for Karkat. Having Nepeta fill his hearts quadrant would help Terezi settle into spades, thus stabilizing their relationship.

JASPERSPRITE: I have another story that might give you hope even though it should be noted again that im only a cat. […] JASPERSPRITE: Yes one time i was with rose and i was sitting there dressed up in my suit with her as happy as can be. JASPERSPRITE: But then she disappeared! JASPERSPRITE: The whole place disappeared and i was in another place. […]

Ooh, now this is one of the oldest mysteries remaining in the comic.

Come to think of it, it’s odd that Rose never asked Jaspersprite about this event before. Sure, she asked him why he meowed as he was spirited away, but she never asked him where he was spirited away to.

JASPERSPRITE: […] There was no rose there was someone else. JASPERSPRITE: I guess i loved her too in time but never as much as rose it just wasnt the same.

A woman or girl, then. My original theory was that Jaspers was snatched by either Rose or Mom - but since Jaspers clearly didn't recognize his new owner, I'm going to have to reassess things.

...I suppose it still could have been Rose or Mom, but they'd have to look very different from the Lalondes we know, so that Jaspers would no longer recognize them. Perhaps an older version of Rose, from much later in the comic - but then again, wouldn't a cat still recognize Rose by smell? Jaspers seems to be telling us, quite clearly, that his new owner was not a Lalonde.

Well, what are the other possibilities, then? I'm assuming his owner was a human, because if Jaspers was stolen by an alien, he'd probably comment on the fact. Plus, the only troll with any interest in Jaspers is Nepeta - and Nepeta won't be doing very much of anything very soon.

I guess he could have been swiped by some version of Jade, such as the future incarnation who serves as the Pen-Pal's 'grandmother'. I have no idea what she'd want with Jaspers, or why she'd return him - but we still don't know anything about Future Jade's activities, so that's just par for the course with her.

JASPERSPRITE: I kept waiting to see rose again but never did and finally i lost hope that i would and then i died. JASPERSPRITE: But then i became alive again and i got to see her and i was so happy! Purr purr purr purr purr. JASPERSPRITE: Thats my story and thats why i think theres always hope even if you die. AC: :33 < so, youre saying that maybe i will have to die to get to be with him? JASPERSPRITE: Yes maybe. :3

It's interesting that Vriska's taking the time to gloat about this murder. Sure, she's normally happy to bask in the suffering she's caused - but the difference here is, John didn't really suffer. He simply fell asleep, and woke up a god.

Vriska's clearly ecstatic here, but it's not because of the pain she caused; for once, she didn't cause any. No, I think what she's actually high on is she sheer satisfaction of tricking John into doing what she wanted. She just really likes manipulating people, even if she's not meaningfully harming them.

This is actually a pretty important insight - because if this is what Vriska gets out of screwing with people, then it might be possible, over time, to channel her desire for control into something more constructive. After all, murder isn't the only possible outlet for this desire - she'd be a hell of an attorney, for example. Terezi who?

GT: ok, you got me! GT: my feathers are all ruffled, and i can no longer tell my ass apart from a big orange earth vegetable!

I know this is a reference to the pumpkin seeds on his desk, but I don’t really understand what joke John’s making, here. He's sarcastically saying that Vriska's trolling is turning him orange, for some reason? Maybe it’s a Hussie meme I’m unfamiliar with.

GT: weren't you leaving? […] AG: […] I was going to. AG: 8ut now I guess I'm not. […] AG: 8ecause this isn't really happening.

We're visiting her ghost's Dream Bubble already? I mean, I always assumed that Vriska would be back some day, but I didn’t think she’d be back this quickly.

The girl can’t handle being benched for even a second, even when she’s dead. Good for her!

AG: I guess I must 8e dead.

You think she tricked you? My take on the Scourge Sisters' final confrontation was pretty straightforward, and doesn't really gel with what Vriska's saying.

It looked to me like Terezi was not-so-subtly telling Vriska that she was threatening to kill her, Vriska called her bluff, and Terezi proved she wasn’t bluffing. No tricks, just psychology.

Even though Scratch calls it a 'ruse', I’m having trouble understanding where the trick comes into it. It’s not like Terezi tricked Vriska into turning her back on their confrontation – Vriska knew what might happen, as Terezi didn’t hide the fact that she was considering murder.

AG: Do you have any recollection at all of the last message I sent you 8efore I died? GT: i don't even know who you are!!! AG: Yeah, I figured. Just as well. I made some pretty em8arrassing confessions to you. […] AG: I asked you if you wanted to…….. AG: You know. AG: Hang out.

Sorry Vriska, but it appears you've dialed into the wrong timeframe - and I don't know whether that's a blessing or a curse.

GT: oh god, this is so ridiculous. you are just a crazy troll on the internet, and i need to get back to packing up this present for my friend! we are not going to hang out, i'm sorry. AG: John, there is no present! You are not in your hive, and you don't have anything to send. She received it a long time ago. None of this matters anymore.

“Oh my f8cking god, John! Just remem8er the plot so we can d8 already!”

AG: If you don't 8elieve me, you are free to look out your window.

And now we’re getting some session memories. John’s beginning to recall his dream self’s repressed scrawlings, as well as Terezi’s infamous ‘map’ of LOWAS.