'Banquet of Mermaids' by Ryoko Kimura

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'Banquet of Mermaids' by Ryoko Kimura

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Ryuko: I just want someone to take me out.
Donnie: Like, on a date or with a sniper rifle?
Ryuko: Surprise me.
April 2012: [Exists]
Ryuko: I will end your goddamn, sore ass, piece of shit, useless life.
Ryuko: Fun fact! The average person would walk past a murderer about 36 times in their lifetime.
Donnie: I like how you called it a 'fun' fact.
Ryuko: It's fun because they didn't decide to murder you.
Raph: Hey - woah, what happened to her?
Donnie: She's really drunk.
Drunk Ryuko: DONNIE, I'M DYING, TAKE ME TO A CEMETERY.

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Ryuko: [Violently coughing because she choked on her spit]
Donnie: Don't die.
Ryuko: DoN't TeLl Me whaT tO dO -
Mikey: Hey Don? Why is Ryuko so. . . Ryuko?
Donnie: Because she's a complete maniac fueled by rage and violence, y'know - the usual.
Whenever Ryuko walks into the lair
Leo: . . .Do you have your new throwing knives with you?
Ryuko: [Scoffs] No!
Leo:
Ryuko:
Ryuko: [Sighs and slowly puts her arms up]
Leo: [Pats Ryuko down, finds some hidden knives on her hip and pulls them out]
Ryuko: [Clicks her tongue] Those are my old throwing knives.