whirling around, you come face-to-face with a blonde. you put on your “i love everyone!” face, smile, and say “how can i help you?”

but it comes out as more of a stutter, as her words register in your mind halfway through the sentence and being called babe really throws you off.

“how could you help me? well, i came here to have a burger but hopefully i’ll be having a date too,” the girl whispers, smirking.

oh dear.

first of all, why is this chick speaking to you like the old men that shuffle into the diner and call you gross names, and second of all, why is your heart fluttering? you thought your gay panic phase ended back in middle school.

apparently not, considering the fact that you were still standing there, speechless.

“r-right away,” you say, turning around and begin to set up the table you just cleaned.

pretending like nothing happened, you give her a menu and ask “are you here alone? or is there someone else accompanying you?”

“just me, although hopefully that’ll change by the end of the night,” the blond says, winking at you shamelessly.

“employees aren’t allowed to eat during their work hours,” you say as dry and unaffected as you can.

“i’m sure they can make an exception for such a gorgeous girl like you,” she whispers.

clearing your throat, you say, “can i get you anything to drink?”

“sweet tea, please.”

“i’ll get right on that!” your voice raises a few pitches and you dart towards the kitchen as fast as you can.

“with extra sugar please!” says the girl, her deep voice projecting over to you.

you reach the kitchen. fricking frack patty cake whack. what the diddly darn dangly doodle are you going to do now. 

you consider your options: flirting back would be the obvious answer, but you’re way too flustered to even attempt it. writing your number on the receipt- plausible, but cliché. doing nothing- unproductive, doesn’t help either of you. screaming in fear- hmmm no.

you decide to not make a decision at all, and go back to the table with the extra sugary tea. 

“thank you, it’s just how i wanted it- as sweet as your charming smile.” 

another wink.

brushing the compliment off and getting down to business, you ask, “are you ready to order, or do you need more time?”

“well, i was hoping i could have this burger right here,” the girl says, pointing to something on the menu.

leaning down over her shoulder, you look at the name she’s showing you. 

it’s called “the whapping whale”. (gosh who made up these names) 

“alright, one whapping whale coming right up!” you try to stand up, but a hand catches your jaw, turning your face.

brown eyes. a perfect nose. lips that are chapped but still look softer than pillows. a wisp of hair falling down into her left eye. you realize her mouth has started moving and snap back to reality.

she laughs and repeats herself, “can i have cheese with it as well?”

“of course,” you mutter, still shamelessly admiring her divine facial features.

“like what you see?” 

“yes.”

shit. why did you say that. mission abort. mission abort. leaning back again, you half-sprint back to the kitchen, catching a quirk of her lips as you turn.

you hide in the kitchen until the “whapping whale” is ready. why do you have to be so awkward. “one whapping whale coming right up” what were you thinking? are you some yeehaw cowboy? coming right up? who? what? where did that come from? do you have some primal instinct to say weird things? blergh.

and then? you said yes!? who even are you. why. why. this is going to haunt you forever. say hello to waking up at 1 a.m. and remembering this exact moment.

you grabbed the stupid whapping whale burger and went to go give it to that incredibly annoying and overly attractive girl.

“why the unhappy face babes?” the girl inquired softly once you reached her table.

“oh, i just burned by finger on one of the frying pans, but i’m fine, thanks for asking, would you like anything else, i can get you some more water, we also have a desert menu, and-” you quickly lied, rushing through six sentences at one time.

“slow down,” the girl laughs a little as she interrupts you,  “maybe i could kiss it better?”

“no thanks...”

the girl grabs your hands and examines them. stunned, you don’t pull away. 

“which one did you burn,” the girl says, a mischievous glint in her eye.

“fine, i didn’t burn my finger.”

the girl continues to hold you softly, now rubbing the side of your left hand with her thumb. you realize she’s waiting for you to continue.

you don’t exactly want to tell her every emotion you’ve been experiencing for the past 15 minutes, but you might as well go for it.

“well, first of all, you’re flustering me and making me stutter and feel awfully light-headed and confused, then you ordered that stupid whapping whale burger, which i managed to use in a sentence that was considerably yeehaw and cringy. now you’re sitting here holding my hands and are going to get me fired for fraternizing with customers and not doing my job. and i don’t even know your name!”

you stare at her. she processes your response.

“i won’t let them fire you. my exceptional wooing skills will persuade them not to.” she winks, “and besides, you won’t need a job if you’re going to spend all day with me tomorrow.”

another wink.

she continues, “my offer still stands to kiss you better still stands.”

a wink from the other eye.

“you’re going to fall asleep with all the winking you’re doing”

“not if i’m looking at a beauty like you.”

two more winks. the thumb caressing your hand doesn’t stop.

“you never told me your name,” you say.

“yours.”

a sigh from you.

“it’s ryujin,” she says with a giggle. 

you start laughing too.