#rylam

Vren forced themself to breathe deeply, to let the hurt flow out with their breath.

Seems like all my trouble only started because you wanted to train me.

Inhale, breathing in the life of Endor -- the cries of birds, the constant rustle of leaves, the distant noise of Bright Tree Village life. Exhale, breathing out the darkness inside them -- the desperation when Razch’s saber clashed with theirs with such murderous intent in his eyes, the vicious triumph with both their lightsabers buried in Fourth Sister’s chest, the grief of having brought this on him in the first place.

I’m out. I don’t need this Jedi nonsense rotting my brain.

Inhale calm. Exhale anger.

I’m washing my hands of this whole mess.

Inhale understanding. Exhale tears.

I don’t care.

Inhale. Exhale. No, don’t let your fists clench--

The crack of a branch behind them had Vren’s body releasing like a bowstring, their torso collapsing forward over their crossed legs as the tree’s limb crashed to the ground, leaves raining all around it. Vren forced their tension inward. I am the protector. I do not hurt the forest. I do not hurt the forest. Their fingers curled into the sandy dirt of their meditation circle; the grains dug into their fingertips to the point of pain; they didn’t care, they didn’t care, he didn’t care--

“Hey.”

Not now, not now--

“Vren?”

Please, Rylam, not now--

“Ee choya!”

Wait, that’s not Rylam.

Furry hands insistently pushed Vren back into a sitting position, and Nippet pointed imperiously behind Vren. “Rylam! Eshtee manna manna! Vren, sleesh!” Berries? What?

“Here.” Rylam sat beside them, setting a wooden bowl in between them and Nippet. Sure enough, it was full of oi-ois, and Nippet, despite telling Rylam to give them to Vren, dug in himself. “Nippet saw your fight with Razch,” Rylam said, taking a few berries for himself.

“It wasn’t much of a fight,” Vren mumbled. “He said he was going, and I let him.”

“He wouldn’t have listened.” Rylam took Vren’s hand and dropped three berries into it. “I don’t know what happened with you two and...her, but it’s still too raw right now. For both of you.”

“Thanks, Master Rylam,” Vren said sarcastically, popping an oi-oi into their mouth. “Oh. Oh, wow.” Their free hand immediately came to their chin to stop the juice -- suddenly very plentiful in their mouth -- from spilling.

“You missed the harvest,” Rylam said with a grin. “Kneesaa said it’s a really good crop this year.”

“No kidding.” Vren swallowed the last of the juice, wiping at their mouth. “Yun yum di goot,” they told an expectant Nippet. “Teeha, Nippet. Goot sleesh!”

“Yubnub!” the Ewok said proudly.

“He knows they’re your favorite.” Rylam popped another oi-oi in his mouth. “And he knows when you’re down.” He put an arm around Vren’s shoulders and tugged them close. “And we do too. The boys are worried about you. Devil was ready to shoot down the Feldspar if you asked him to after Nippet told him what happened.”

Vren chewed another berry, watching Nippet devour his and get red juice all in the fur around his mouth. “Thank you. Both of you. Teeha.”

Even Nippet paused in his eating, recognizing Vren’s seriousness, and he scooted himself into their lap to continue getting juice all over both of them.

--