#ryanross

As Y/n swayed to the beat and sang along to the lyrics Ryan had skillfully written, she stared up at the stage adorned with her brother and his best friends, but mostly him: Ryan. She didn’t know how to explain their relationship but that hardly mattered now, he was on stage, just like he’d dreamed. Their first large crowd was ecstatic over their performance,  and it made the younger Urie’s heart swell with glee. 

Y/n watched as her older brother captivated the crowd with his voice, something that she had been slightly jealous of growing up. Even at family events, Brendon would take the entire room’s attention, something both beautiful and disheartening to watch. While she had these jealous thoughts, she never said anything, never wanting her older brother to know how his successes made her feel. Her older brother deserved the future ahead of them now, all of the boys on stage did, but it was thanks to Ryan that they were even on this stage; Pete was Ryan's friend, it was Ryan's lyrics that had gotten them signed, not that Ryan really focused on that too much at the moment. 

Y/n’s heart finally started to slow as her dancing came to a standstill when the music died down, the band calling for intermission. As badly as Y/n wanted to run up to Ryan and pull him to the side, she watched as Pete beat her to it,  immediately pulling the band out of the eye of the party. With a soft, disappointed sigh, Y/n found herself walking to the refreshment table. She debated between another rum and coke or water, her hand hesitating after grabbing the cup. 

“Scared it’ll bite?” a voice interrupted the young woman, Y/n whipping around to face the voice,

“Uh…” her brows furrowed in confusion as she took in who was speaking to her. She didn’t know his name, but she had recognized him enough to realize he was either in her grade, or at least only a grade beneath her. 

“I’m not sure we’ve met, but I remember your face,” she extended her hand hesitantly, her brows furrowed still and her eyes narrowed,

He ran a hand through his ginger-red hair, a light fluster dusting over his freckled, pale, face. His dark blue eyes met Y/n’s e/c eyes, “Don’t worry about it, we’ve uh…we’ve met two or three times now, but I shouldn’t be surprised that you don’t recognize me, I mean, you’re Brendon’s sister…” the boy trailed off, not even bothering to shake the younger Urie’s hand. 

She let her hand fall awkwardly at her side as she watched him drink whatever was in his red solo cup for a moment in silence. “I recognize you, I’m just… really bad with names,” Y/n said, confirming with herself internally that having a bottle of water was probably better than another drink right now. 

She cracked open the bottle and sipped it as the unnamed man ahead of her stared nearly into her soul. She inhaled slowly, forcing herself to ease up. His gaze made her weary and unsettled, but he hadn’t said anything to make her uncomfortable.

I’m just being anxious… Y/n thought to herself, “Well, can you remind me of your name?” she didn’t want to keep talking to the stranger ahead, but she wasn’t able to stop her anxious rambling, 

“Jasper,” he said, exhaling softly. It seemed he had the anxious habit of fidgeting with his hair, as once again, he ran his hand through his messy ginger hair. “Hey, look, I’m sorry if we got off on the wrong foot…” he took a step closer to y/n, barely noticing that Y/n took a step back as he stepped forward. 

“Right…well, nice to meet you Jasper, but I should really get going, I-” Y/n backed away a little, not comfortable with how close he was trying to get to her. Most of the partygoers were still in front of the stage, taking pictures, drinking, talking amongst themselves, and pretty much doing anything besides getting refreshments. While for a moment she smiled internally that they were fans of Panic!’s music, she internally groaned that it meant that she was pretty much alone through this conversation with Jasper. Just my luck, Y/n shook her head at herself before turning her attention back to Jasper.

Y/n’s blood ran cold when Jasper suddenly yanked her wrist and jerked her into his arms, “Hey doll, I'm still talking to you, you know that right? Don’t try to walk away now,” he leaned closer towards Y/n’s neck, before she was suddenly pulled away from him, nearly screaming in fear. 

Y/n hadn’t even had the chance to turn around, all she had seen after being pulled away from Jasper was the fear that replaced the once dangerous expression on the ginger’s face. She turned around now as she was being pulled into the house. She looked at the gray zip up he’d been wearing and that was when she realized who had saved her.

“Ry…” she whispered his name and he immediately turned around, worry in his eyes. He pulled Y/n into his arms, his long fingers roaming through her h/c hair. 

“Shh, I’m sorry I wasn’t faster, and I wish I could stay longer.” he squeezed her tightly, their scents mixing and swirling in a cloud around each other. 

“I saw he was staring at you while in the crowd. He kept pushing past people just to get closer to you,” Ryan's low voice was saturated in a mix of protectiveness, anger, jealousy, and something else Y/n couldn’t quite place. 

“Talked to Pete because it bothered me. He said you can be on the stage side of the barrier, or you can be backstage, whatever you prefer, just say the word.” 

These moments together, no matter how far and few between they were,  made Y/n’s heart uneasy. She was falling harder and harder for Ryan every day, though having to sneak around every single time they wanted to hug, kiss, or share any type of intimacy, broke her spirit a little more and more. It was a delicious pain that threatened to consume Y/n, she knew she could stop seeing Ryan whenever she wanted, remember her brother’s anger and promise, and she knew that she could focus all of her thoughts on what happened between Keltie and Brent and leave Ryan before they got too serious…

But that smile, that smile that shone just for her. Those sparkling brown eyes that threatened to lift and swaddle her in their own unique embrace, the fingers that not only explored her body in the quiet of night but also played beautiful music and wrote wonderful lyrics. Y/n’s soul was entwined with Ryan's though she didn’t want it to be, or perhaps, she was simply not ready to believe that was the case. The young woman was scared of growing attached to someone again, yet, when Ryan leaned in to kiss her, she leaned further into his embrace instead of away from it.

After the show concluded, Brendon wrapped his arm over y/n’s shoulders, toasting to the band as they stood in the center of the room together. He was already on his sixth drink, while Y/n and Ryan were only on their second or third drinks. Y/n’s older brother was slurring his messy toast, completely oblivious to the googly eyes all over the boys. A few young men leered at the younger Urie, but she saw no sign of Jasper, a small, quiet comfort. 

Some ravenette that Y/n vaguely recognized approached the Urie’s once Brendon's toast concluded, the way she carried herself distracting and enticing. As soon as Brendon set his eyes on her, Y/n was soon forgotten about once again, a delicate yet painful wave of silent grief coursing through her chest. Y/n knew that Brendon would never forget about her and everything she’d done for him, just because a little fame had found him, but it didn’t make it hurt any less when he just pushed her to the side for a fun time.

With a newfound wave of emotion in her heart, she stormed away, pouring herself another drink shakily. As she downed the third cup of the night, she poured another in less than a minute. She gulped about half of it down before his soft fingers wrapped around her wrist and pulled her towards the stairs, far away from the party. 

“What's wrong?” he asked, not even waiting for her to look at him. Y/n felt the liquor start to work its magic, her stressors now somewhere far across the room as she felt herself sway ever so slightly. 

“Nothin’,” she tutted, “Nothin’ for you to worry about, don’t mind me. Enjoy your night, you’re the one that got the entire gang to this point, so go ahead, party hard,” Y/n pulled herself up by the spindles in the banister and nearly tripped over some shoes that had haphazardly been discarded on the stairs. 

“Down, y/n.” Ryan said slowly, standing to help guide her back down onto the stair. His tone was almost as if he were speaking to a dog, and Y/n cursed herself for the way her insides flipped at the notion. “Relax. I’m not judging you, fuck, if you really don’t want to talk that bad, fine, but I’m sitting here with you nonetheless. I just want to make sure you’re safe–”

The alcohol had given her a new surge of confidence,

“Fuck what you think, Ryan.” she nearly growled at him, causing him to physically flinch back. 

“What?” he couldn’t say anything besides the single word, his chest constricting and threatening to cut off his entire oxygen supply, 

“I don’t understand, Y/n, I-”

“That's exactly the point, Ross.” Y/n stood once again, turning around and holding the banister as she ascended to the second floor. She had her back to him until she hit the peak of the stairs,

“You don’t understand anything about how I feel,” 

Ryan turned and stood up, jogging up the stairs after her, “Y/n!” he called her name in a whispered-shout, not wanting to call too much attention to them.

Ryan’s long legs quickly caught up to Y/n who was now in an empty bedroom with her head in her hands. She was unaware of the door opening, too deep in her own despair as she held her head in her hands. He looked at the way the moonlight illuminated her, losing himself in the memory of the night of New Year’s Eve when Brent had broken the poor girl’s heart, captivated with her now just as he was then. 

Ryan stepped into the room soundlessly, closing and locking the door behind him. He slowly approached her, kneeling before her. He gently took her hands and removed them from her face, 

“Hey. Look at me,” he urged her gently, his heart skipping a beat as he met her sad eyes. He took her hands in his own, his thumbs rubbing over her knuckles as he pulled her fingers to his plush lips. Ryan didn’t break eye contact once, 

“What do you think I've been trying to do here, sweetheart? I’ve been trying to learn and understand you, I–” Ryan stuttered trepidatiously, “T-to know you is to love you, and if I don’t already love you, I think I’m teetering on the line of-”

Y/n’s eyes widened as she cupped Ryan’s cheeks, pulling his lips into her own. He was pulled into a standing position, now leaning half of his body down to kiss her with fervor. When Y/n had broken away to breathe, Ryan’s forehead was rested against hers, placing gentle kisses across her skin, 

“I lied, Y/n, I fucking love you. I can’t stand hiding it anymore, I need to be with you or I’ll go batshit in-fucking-sane, I-” Ryan had almost forgotten he’d had more than one drink himself, the liquid courage running its course before he had the chance to stop it, 

“When I saw that creepy fuck giving you problems earlier, I wanted nothing more than to pull you into my arms and take you home. I…” Ryan spoke breathlessly as his forehead touched Y/n’s, 

“Fuck, I–I have so many thoughts, Y/n, and they’re all about you. Every single one of them, I-I can’t be without you, I can't ever be apart from you. When that fucking dick broke your heart, I nearly ended him myself,” Ryan’s arms snaked around the younger girl’s waist, 

“Ryan…” Y/n whispered, her hands still on his cheeks, 

“No.” he interrupted her, “Please, let me get some of this out, I’ve been hiding how I’ve felt about you for…fuck, I think almost if not surpassing two years now.” 

Y/n was breathless at his entire confession, only nodding her head gently as she looked into Ryan's eyes as he confessed his love to her, 

“I know we’ve been hooking up, hanging out, and doing all this shit in secret, but secrecy is no testament to how I feel about you. If it weren’t for Brendon, I'd sling you on my arm and let you drag me around wherever you wanted, I'd let you tell everyone we’re together, I’d scream that you’re mine from the rooftops, but I can't stand not being yours anymore, Y/n, please, please tell me you feel the same way.” 

Ryan thought himself pathetic, nearly watery-eyed from his own confession.

Y/n shakily inhaled, her heart pounding hard and quick in her chest. He was asking her out, alone together in this bedroom, he was asking her to be his, officially, despite their circumstances of having to rely on secrecy. Y/n felt the oxygen leave her lungs as she weighed what to say to him.

“Ryan…I feel the same exact way about you.” Y/n whispered, brushing her nose against Ryan's, “God, and here I was thinking I was going to be the first one to break and fall first…” she shook her head with a small laugh. 

Ryan lifted a hand to run it through her hair, his large hand resting on her scalp now, 

“Don't you dare think for a minute that you fell first, because I can tell you for sure that I did.”

The two shared a quiet chuckle at Ryan's confession, the silence filling the room comfortable. 

Then, the air became electric. 

Ryan pulled y/n closer into his arms, pushing her back onto the bed. He crawled over her, his arms and legs caging her onto the bed. 

In an instant, clothes were flying off left and right, heavy breaths echoing around in the silence of the room. Music thudded through the walls of the bedroom, threatening to shake the portraits from the wall onto the floor. 

“Shit,” Ryan pulled away, his core thudding with heat as he watched the string of saliva connecting their lips break apart as he spoke, “I don’t think i brought a-” 

Y/n sat up, finally removing her bra and letting her breasts fall free from the restraint. She held up the small foil square and ryan smirked, “God, Y/n, I ever tell you how amazing you are?” 

He leaned forward to capture her neck in a sweet kiss, eliciting a sweet moan from her. Y/n gently pushed away ryan’s chest, 

“Can I put it on you?” She asked him, not even waiting for his answer before tearing open the foil with her teeth. Ryan's lip caught between his teeth as he nodded, watching as she spit out the foil, unraveling the condom around ryan’s hardened cock. 

Ryan let out a soft grunt as Y/n pumped him once or twice before using the excess lube on herself, spreading it across where she needed Ryan most. Her core throbbed for him, her eyes flooded with half-lidded lust. 

Ryan's eyes were nearly the size of saucers as he watched y/n open herself up to him in the most intimate and explicit ways. He gave himself a few quick pumps before pushing into her, the stretch of their unity almost too much for either of them to bear. Ryan wanted to give her a moment to adjust to his rather large size, but Y/n wrapped her legs around him and pulled him deeper, he grunted lowly in her ear when she spoke, his eyes threatening to roll back at the sensation of her. 

“move. i’m begging you, ry-baby, move.” 

Ryan set an unrelenting pace, their groans and moans blending together into a beautiful harmony, one that neither of them ever wanted to forget. 

–

“Shut the fuck up, don’t look at me like that! I came to you for guidance, not to be judged!” Y/n cried out, hiding her face in her hands.

“Holy. Shit.” Jon huffed, running a hand over his face as he looked at Y/n, “And…just to be clear, you said this was-” 

“The night you guys performed at Pete's, Jesus fuck, Jon! Keep up!” Y/n groaned in embarrassment, slinking into Jon's couch. 

“So why are you telling me about this? I'm not trying to be a dick, but what does me knowing about your so-called uh,” Jon cleared his throat, “weekend adventures so to speak, do?” Jon was certainly not trying to be an asshole, he was just completely caught off guard that she came to him before Ryan did. 

“ I don’t know, J-man, I guess I’m just really fucking scared. The elephant in the room is that the last time i was with someone, he broke my heart and cheated on me with the school slut, and i know Ryro isn’t like that but-” 

Cute, she has a little signature nickname for him. Jon thought to himself. 

“Look, Y/n, take a breather, ‘kay? I'm not gonna tell anyone, did you just want an extra line of defense between you guys and your brother?” Jon asked with a knowing look, he knew what she was asking of him, even if she didn’t even ask him yet. 

“I don't know! I–” she sighed, burying her head in her knees before nodding softly, her chin now perched across her knees, "I'm just…scared, Jon. I don’t know how to stop being so anxious about this whole thing, I’m fucking scared out of my fucking mind. I know he won’t hurt me like Brent did, but…” she looked up at Jon again, her e/c flooding with tears, “But what if he does?” 

Jon wrapped an arm around Brendon's younger sister, rubbing her arm as she tried to quiet down her shaking and nervousness. “Relax, Urie, I promise you’ll be okay. Let me tell you a secret, that dude has been obsessed with you for longer than I can remember.” 

Jon's eyes fell to the gray zip up laying over her shoulders and he smiled softly,