#ry-ry

“I know I’m probably biased, but I think we might have the cutest baby ever,” Maddie gushes, fussing with her daughter’s headband do that it’s sitting just so. 

Really, Chimney doesn’t completely understand the joy Maddie gets from dressing Ryan in outfits with matching colored accessories, but if she’s happy, he’s happy.

“She certainly is ridiculously cute,” he agrees, smiling down at their almost six month old-- just the fact that she’s already been in this world for almost half a year makes him want to burst into tears-- as he lifts her from her car seat, “I have to say, we did a really, really good job with this little one.”

“I think she looks more like you than me which sorta sucks because I’m the one that grew her in my belly, but you’re cute so it works out in her favor.”

“Hey, she looks like you and you’re totally cute, too.”

“You’re so--”

“Hey, you three!” Buck shouts, having opened Bobby and Athena’s front door, “you know Bobby doesn’t let us eat until everyone’s here, so hurry up!”

“Stop yelling so loud or you’ll make your niece cry,” Chimney rolls his eyes.

“She’s fine. You’re her dad so she’s used to a lot of noise,” Buck retorts, “besides, you at least used to always be on time to things-- the first one there.”

“Yeah, well, then he had a baby and then he started dating me, who’s not as timely, so there we go,” Maddie smiles, “we did it a little out of order, but we’re here now. So move, you’re blocking the door, Buck.”

“Oh my god, Maddie, that is the cutest baby outfit ever!” Karen squeals the moment she lays eyes on Ryan, and Hen and Chimney meet each others glance and start laughing at the same time like clockwork, “oh, Ryan always looks so good now that she’s around you all the time instead of just half.”

“Hey!” Chimney gasps with faux offense, before making his way over to give Hen a quick squeeze around the shoulders, “Hen, you’re wife is being mean to me.”

“Yeah, yeah, she’s mean to me, too,” Hen chuckles, before she lays her head down on his shoulder in a moment of rare physical affection towards him, “she’s just happy you three came together, we both are.”

“Don’t get all sappy on me, Hen,” he groans, as if it’s bothering him but there are tears in his eyes and they both know he’s not bothered in the slightest.

“I’m just really happy for you, you deserve it, after everything...” Hen sighs, moving her hand to rub his back, “and so does Maddie, and so does little Ryan. She’s got two happy and healthy parents which is what’s most important, but now she’s got two happy and healthy parents who love each other, too.”

“Maddie and I always loved each other, Hen. We just...”

“Needed sometime, I know,” Hen nods, “that’s what happens when a psycho ex-husband comes out of the woodwork and tries to kill you both.”

“Well, when you put it that way,” he laughs, nudging his nose against her shoulder for just a moment before they both take a step back from each other, emotionally earnest moment over, “now, where did my baby go?”

“I’m having my turn,” Bobby informs him, grinning down at the little girl in his arms.

“So we’re never going to eat?” Buck asks, “we’re just going to pass the baby around?”

“Be quiet, Buck,” Bobby hushes him, “right now let’s just enjoy your sister’s beautiful family.”

“But I’m--”

“Ryan!” Christopher giggles, making his way over to Bobby’s side so he can look at the baby, too, “she’s even bigger than the last time I saw her.”

“Babies grow pretty quickly, Christopher,” Eddie laughs, “we’ve been over this. She’s just going to keep getting bigger and bigger and--”

“Don’t!” Maddie interrupts him, pointing her finger at him as she pouts, “she’s going to be a sweet little baby forever. She’s already growing up too fast, so don’t encourage her.”

“Uh, Mads, I don’t really think she can just decide to stop growing if--”

“Shut up, Buck.”

“She really is so cute,” May observes, smiling softly as she looks the baby over curiously, “I usually think most babies look weird when they’re really young, but she’s adorable.”

“Thanks, I think,” Chimney teases good naturedly, “but yeah, she is really, really cute. Maddie and I made one beautiful baby.”

“So how about--”

“Bobby, if you ask us for another baby right now, I just might throw something at you,” Maddie says with a glare, crossing her arms tightly and pursing her lips so that she knows he’s been business.

It’s Chimney’s first day back at work after about a month and a half off and it’s not that Buck isn’t happy to see him back at work, it’s just a little awkward. They’ve seen each other a few times since that moment months back when he came into Chimney’s apartment and yelled at him about his sister’s pregnancy but Maddie was always there as a buffer. And they’re not alone just the two of them at the station but... at some point he wants to be. He wants to pull Chimney aside and apologize.

He also just wants to talk to Chimney in general, because of course Maddie needed to be his number one priority, but he feels like he kind of dropped the ball with Chimney. He’s his friend, too, and clearly he had been going through something, even though Buck wasn’t sure exactly what. Just that Maddie and Bobby and Hen and all assured both he and Eddie that it wasn’t there place to tell but that Chimney was going to be okay; he just needed some time.

And Chimney really does look a lot better, better than he has since he got stabbed by Doug and learned about the pregnancy. He seems close to his old self, too, but not quite there. There’s still something off, something he can’t quite put his finger on and Hen and Bobby seem to be hovering a bit, but Maddie isn’t completely “back to normal” yet and depressingly might never be, so he can’t really fault Chimney for that, either.

He waits a few hours and a call or two in between before he quietly approaches Chimney and Hen, who are both just sitting on the couch in a comfortable silence.

“Hey, Chim, can I talk to you for a minute?”

“You’ll play nice?” Hen asks-- well, really by the look on her face it’s more of a demand-- and he wants to roll his eyes but he gets the feeling that when it comes to Chimney, he better not mess with Hen or there will be hell to pay.

“Hen, it’s okay,” Chimney sighs, getting up from the couch, “he’s going to be my daughter’s uncle.”

“I know, but--”

“I’ll be nice, Hen, I promise. I come in peace.”

Hen gives him another glare, but nods her head and goes silent as Chimney follows Buck to the other side of the room.

They sit down in chairs across from each other at the table and Buck doesn’t know how to describe it other than that it really sucks how awkward it feels, because Chimney is one of his closest friends, but maybe getting through the awkwardness is a step towards mending the fence.

“I just... look, Chim, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. And ask if you’re okay.”

Chimney goes quiet for a moment, biting his lip before he sighs and shakes his head.

“You don’t have to be sorry, Buckaroo, you were just looking out for your sister.”

“I know, but you’re my friend too and I was unfair to you.”

“Water under the bridge, Buck. I know it wasn’t personal. And I know this... whole pregnancy has been weird and hard and believe me, I understood why you were wary once you heard the news. Buck, it was never my intention to put your sister in this situation, but I did, so I had to support her choice.”

“But you didn’t want...?”

“I didn’t say that, I was just... more wary than her. Like you were. I’ve always wanted kids so it’s not like I don’t want this kid; I’m in love with her already. I was just really scared, and a part of me still is but that’s getting better.”

“I, uh, I’m glad. But still, I’m sorry, okay? Please just let me say sorry because you’re my friend and I could have been a little more gentle about it.”

“You wouldn’t be you if you weren’t a bit of jackass about it,” Chimney laughs good-naturedly, “but you’re a jackass who is forgiven. I know this has all been hard for you, too. Maddie’s your sister and she went through something horrific and I could never expect you to just not have any feelings about that.”

“That’s fair, but you went through something horrific, too,” Buck says kindly but a bit uncomfortably, because this sort of thing really isn’t his strong suit, “you’re my friend, Chimney. And don’t worry, no one spilled the beans about exactly why you took some time off work-- Bobby, Hen, and Maddie all kept their mouths shut-- but I just want you to know that if something is wrong or you just need to talk, I can be that guy for you, okay? We’re family now.”

“I suppose we are,” he smiles, “and, uh, thank you. I don’t really want to talk about it but maybe I’ll change my mind someday.”

“I’m not going to force you talk about your feelings, Chim,” he chuckles, “just wanted to make sure that you know that you can.”

“Yeah, I know that, Buck,” Chimney nods, and maybe it’s just the lighting but Buck swears that he can see a tear or two in Chimney’s eyes.

“Good. Glad we’ve got that settled. Just maybe next time not knock up my sister from a drunken one night stand?”

And really, maybe it’s a little evil, but the way Chim’s cheeks immediately blush bright red sort of makes his head.

“Got it. Lesson learned.”

“Oh, and one more thing. Maddie will probably be here soon. She claims I forgot my jacket but I did not, I just wore a different one than the one she’s talking about so uh, I think she just wants to check up on you on your first day back at work.”

“Ah, of course she does.”

“She’s going to be fine, Maddie,” Chimney murmurs, hand on the mother of his child’s back so he can feel the way her chest is heaving as she cradles their daughter, “how about I hold Ryan for a moment, just until you catch your breath?”

“W-Why? Because you’re the better parent?” Maddie sobs, thrusting their two month old into his arms.

“No,” he says patiently, bouncing Ryan a bit, “you’re just as good a parent as I am, Ryan and I just want mommy to take a few deep breaths and try to relax a bit.”

“B-But you are the better p-parent,” Maddie weeps, “able to stay c-calm while I’m a crying mess, h-had to call you because I couldn’t... y-you’re a good dad and I’m a mess.”

“Hey, Maddie, you’re a great mother,” he says gently, “you’re just spiraling right now, alright? It’s normal to freak out the first time your baby is sick.”

“So h-how come y-you’re not freaking out,” she practically wails, getting snot all over his sweater when she presses her head against his arm, but hey, any physical contact from her feels nice with all their awkward co-parenting boundaries.

He still loves her... sue him okay? Just because their awful situation tore them apart, doesn’t mean his feelings died with the separation.

“Because,” he sighs, realizing he hasn’t responded right away as he was distracted by the smell of her hair, “because I went through this with Hen and Karen when Denny was a baby. Hen had to talk me off a ledge, actually.”

“R-Really?”

“Really,” he nods, smiling a bit at the memory, “I was babysitting him when he started running a fever and I called them panicking so bad that I was wheezing and they thought the situation was far worse than it was. And then they got there and Karen started sobbing and Hen looked at us both like we were idiots.”

Maddie laughs a bit at that, tilting her head to look up at him. Her eyes are red and puffy from crying and her nose is overflowing and there are tears on her flushed cheeks, but she’s still completely gorgeous. He bites his lip, trying to remind himself that they’re just friends and co-parents and he needs to try and keep it calm and together in front of her so he doesn’t make her uncomfortable.

“Just feel stupid b-because I was a nurse,” she sighs, “and have t-taken calls like this as a 9-1-1 operator. I know logically she’s going to be f-fine but...”

“It’s harder when it’s your baby,” he assures her, lightly bumping his hip against her, “and see? She stopped crying and she’s asleep now. Her fever isn’t very high and she’s nursing and making us change her diapers as usual, so everything is going to be alright. We’ll call her doctor tomorrow if the fever is still there, but look-- she’s alright.”

“I-I know...” she sighs, leaning against him again and making him think and feel things that he should definitely not be thinking and feeling, “thank y-you for coming over. You didn’t have to. It’s n-not your week.”

“She’s my daughter and she’s sick, and her mother was pretty upset, too,” he says as casually as he can, “it’s not a problem at all.”

“Still,” she whispers, her tears finally coming to a stop, “you’re a great dad. Thank you.”

“Y-You don’t have to thank me for doing my job as a parent,” he mutters, the intensity of the way she’s looking into his eyes making him nervous around her in a way he hasn’t felt in a while. The awkward, I don’t know where the boundaries are nervous? Sure, all the time. But this? The butterflies in the stomach nervous? Maybe someday they could...

“You go above and beyond,” Maddie tells him, pulling him out of his head.

“So do you,” he replies simply, hoping the look on his face tells her everything she needs to know.

“Could you stay tonight?” she blurts out, blushing as soon as she asks, “you don’t have to, I-I know Ryan will be fine I’m just still scared and--”

“Hey, it’s fine. Of course I’ll stay. Our baby has a fever,” he says gently, “besides, remember those first few weeks after she was born when I lived on your couch? It’ll be just like old times.”

Chimney isn’t surprised when Buck shows up at his door.

Everyone else had been thrilled that he and Maddie were finally together, but Buck had seemed wary. Sure, it hurts a little bit, but for the most part he gets it. It’s just that he’s really not feeling so great and he doesn’t want to deal with that conversation right now.

But he supposes that’s why Buck chose this moment-- because he was finally apart from Maddie. They hadn’t officially moved in, but have pretty much been spending all their time together and having constant sleepovers because hey, they have a five month old so that’s just what works best. The only reason he’s not with Maddie and Ryan now is because he thinks he might be coming down with something, and he doesn’t want to expose their baby to it.

So, enter Buck, finally having a chance to speak with him one on one.

He supposes he should just be grateful to get it out of the way as he waves Buck into his apartment, sitting back down on the couch and waiting for Buck to sit next to him.

“You look bad,” Buck says eloquently, and Chimney can’t help but roll his eyes.

“Yeah, that’s exactly why I’m not with your sister and niece right now. Ryan only has a five month old immune system.”

“I, uh, wanted to talk to you... probably not the greatest time since you’re sick but...”

“It’s fine,” Chimney sighs, “I know you’ve been wanting to uh, chat with me so it’s probably better sooner rather than later, right?”

“You know I love you,” Buck says and it’s said awkwardly, but Chimney is comforted by the fact that it’s obviously very sincere, “and you know that I trust you. So I really don’t mean to hurt your feelings. You’re like a brother to me, so that’s not the problem.”

“I know,” Chimney nods, and yeah, he knew that before but it’s still good to hear it out loud.

“I just... I want to make sure you and Maddie are really ready for this. You’re a great match and I know that you’re good for one another and that you’re both adults who can make your own decisions it’s just... that it hasn’t been easy, you know? And I love you but Maddie’s my sister and I need to make sure her and my niece don’t get hurt. Not that I think you’d ever hurt her on purpose, it’s just that I was really worried about her, and really worried about you, too, and I just need to know that everyone involved is really ready so that it doesn’t end badly.”

“I get that,” Chimney says, sighing deeply as he rubs his temples, “really, I get why you’re worried and you don’t need to sugarcoat it, okay? I know it’s not personal. But I assure you, Maddie and I are both in a really good place. We’re both ready, okay? I wouldn’t have told your sister I wanted to be together if I didn’t think I was in a good enough place for it, and I especially wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t think she was ready, either.”

It’s not that everything is magically fixed, they’re still both traumatized and likely always will be to an extent, he knows that. And there’s residual worry on both sides-- Maddie trusts him but her eyes always flick over to his plate when they’re eating together and he trusts her, but he always finds himself glancing at her arms every few days-- but for the most part, they’re good. Neither of them are self-destructing anymore and the nightmares are still occurring but far less often. They’re not the way they would have been if Doug hadn’t tried to kill them both (and Ryan, by extension, even though Doug didn’t know that Maddie was pregnant), but they’re healthy and they’re happy and being together as a family makes far more sense now then staying apart.

“Do you promise? If you promise me that you genuinely think you’re both ready, I’ll drop it. I trust you, I just need to hear you promise.”

“I promise, Buckaroo. This is my family, you know? I love Maddie and I love Ryan and I wouldn’t make any decisions regarding their wellbeing lightly.”

“Okay, I believe you, and I’m sorry I even needed to ask, but--”

“Don’t be,” he shakes his head, “you don’t need to be sorry, Buck. I get it. She’s your sister and you almost lost her. You need to make sure she’s good.”

“Thanks for understanding,” Buck says, in that same awkward yet sincere sort of way, “and uh, head’s up? Maddie keeps texting me trying to pawn off Ryan to me so she can come check on you. So uh, she really loves you. Never take that for granted.”

Ryan is one.

(Well, one in two days. Her birthday is Christmas Eve so it felt like a jerk move to have the party then, and they’ll celebrate again just the three of them on her actual day of birth.)

It feels surreal, that after everything that’s happened they’ve not only managed to bring a new life into the world but carried her through a year of life. Of course, that’s what you do as parents but after all the trauma and the circumstances quickly following her conception, Chimney and Maddie had so many doubts going into parenthood.

But Ryan is one and she’s perfect. Loud, messy, and perfect with the chubbiest cheeks that will make Maddie sob when she grows out of them. She looks most like her father and normally Maddie wouldn’t have in any other way, but now it serves only to remind her of the tension between them.

The argument started over, well... babies. They had originally both agreed that they wanted to wait at least two years until trying to give Ryan a sibling because of all the not-so-good feeling emotions associating with Maddie’s first pregnancy, but thinking about her baby already being one years old only served to remind her that her biological clock was ticking. There’s no guarantee that if they waited another year or more that they’d be able to conceive easily, or even at all.

Maddie just wishes she had waited until tomorrow to bring it up to Chimney, because guests are starting to trickle in and both the birthday girl’s parents are pissed off at each other. Chimney had said no, firmly, because he was worried it was too soon after her pregnancy with Ryan and that another pregnancy might be too triggering and bring them both back to old habits. And she had immediately gotten offended and accused him of having no faith in her nor himself.

But alas, it’s their daughter’s first birthday party, so surely they must put aside their hard feelings to be happy, if only for a few hours.

“There’s the birthday girl!” Bobby shouts, grinning as Ryan crawls towards him and bends down to scoop her up, “hi, Ry-Ry, it’s your big day!”

“Well, technically two days before her big day.”

“Shut up, Buck, and let me enjoy my daughter’s birthday,” Chimney cuts in with an eye roll, patting Buck on the shoulder.

“Yeah, Buck,” Maddie adds, smiling at Chimney and hoping a mutual enjoyment of making fun of her brother is enough to mend at least one of the fences between them, “she can have two birthdays. She deserves it.”

“She certainly does,” Chimney nods at all, also smiling and the tension appears to have been (temporarily) alleviated.

“Alright grandpa, you had your turn-- now give me my niece,” Hen insists.

“Grandpa? I’m only eight years older than her father. I’m Uncle Bobby, not Grandpa Bobby.”

“Grah-pa!” Ryan babbles, and the entire room minus Bobby immediately bursts into laughter.

“See? Even Ryan knows,” Hen snickers, gently taking her niece from Bobby’s arms into hers, “hi, Ryan. I know you don’t really know what’s going on but it’s your birthday party. Basically one big celebration of how much we all love you.”

Ryan babbles again, this time incoherently as she brings a hand to Hen’s face, covering her nose.

“Oh, Miss Ryan, can I have my nose back please?”

“I tell you this every time, Chim, but she’s insanely cute,” Bobby murmurs, “makes it hard to stay mad at her for calling me a grandpa. And no, I am not a grandpa until May or Harry has kids.”

“Whatever you saaaaaaaaay,” Chimney singsongs, that familiar mischevious glint in his eyes.

“Uh, I gotta stick up for my husband on this one,” Athena interjects, “not because I don’t think it’s cute-- because it is-- but because that implies I am a grandmother. And I am not that old yet.”

“Grandma, grandma, grandma!” Buck and Eddie chant together, and if looks could kill, Ryan would have just lost two of her uncles at her own birthday party.

“You’re lucky she’s not carrying today,” Bobby quips, and no one is completely certain that it’s a joke or exaggeration.

“You would think Evan would have learned some survival instinct by now, 28 years later,” Maddie rolls her eyes, “but no. Still having to look after him after all this time.”

“Hey! It was good practice for Ryan.”

“Yeah, you’re a pro by now,” Athena laughs, “thinking about having another?”

It’s a harmless question, Maddie knows Athena isn’t seriously hounding her for a definitive answer, but she can see Chimney flinching out of the corner of her eye.

To be honest, given everything that’s happened and how hard they’ve had to work to be anywhere ready for parenthood, neither Chimney or Maddie really had their hearts set on a baby shower. Besides, isn’t it awkward when the parents-to-be aren’t even together? But Hen and Karen had insisted that they have one and Bobby heartily agreed, offering to make all the food and the cake. So here they are at Bobby and Athena’s house, having a baby shower.

It’s not so bad, Maddie thinks. She got to put on a nice flowy dress and have everyone fawning over her and her belly, and all the gifts for baby Ryan and her and Howie taking care of her will certainly make their lives easier. It just still stings a bit that certain things they’ll need two of because after the first few weeks of Ryan’s life, they’ll have split custody. An arrangement that required no lawyers, thankfully, because of the friendship and respect there. Still, she’s mostly having a good time.

And for Chimney, it’s not so bad either. Maddie looks absolutely gorgeous, which shouldn’t matter to him anymore but it still does, and it’s nice to see her smiling and laughing so much. Plus, they’d both been so stressed these past few months that it’s nice to be reminded that as hard as everything has been, bringing a new baby into the world is a good thing. He’s always wanted to be a father and Maddie’s always wanted to be a mother, and even if they never end up together he couldn’t think of a better person to go on this journey of parenthood with.

“Told you you’d have fun,” Hen says with a bit of a huff, noticing the smile on his face, “let me hear it.”

“Yeah, yeah, you were right,” he laughs, leaning into her a bit.

“Have you eaten yet?” she asks, and he wants to be annoyed bit it and roll his eyes but he knows it’ll take sometime to regain her trust in that area, and it would also be a little hypocritical to be pissed because he’s always worried about Maddie and if she’ll slip up with self harm again.

“Not yet-- just because I was distracted, I promise. Maddie just looks so happy and everyone keeps coming up to talk to me, you know.”

“I know,” Hen nods, “I’ll go make you a plate.”

He doesn’t protest, just gives her an appreciative smile before he strolls over to Maddie.

“This isn’t so bad, right?” he teases, “even though I had to admit to Hen that she was right.”

“Not bad at all. I’m having a great time; are you?” she asks, big chocolate eyes practically staring into his eyes with a familiar pout on her lips.

“I’m having a great time, too,” he grins, “you doing okay? Can I get you water or anything?”

“I’m fine, Howie,” she assures him, reaching out to boop his nose before she can stop herself, “you worry too much.”

“So do you,” he counters, a smug smile on his face as he raises an eyebrow at her.

“That’s fair,” she laughs, throwing her head back as she does, “guess we’re a pair of worriers, huh?”

“Yeah, definitely. Little Ryan is going to come out of the womb with high blood pressure.”

“I-I think she agrees, she’s kicking up a storm in there,” Maddie cackles, before taking his hand and moving it to her stomach.

“Hi, Ryan,” Chimney hums, kneeling down so he’s speaking more directly to her in Maddie’s tummy, “this is a party for you, you know. Because mommy and daddy love you very much and are so excited for you to born, even if we weren’t originally on board with having a baby shower.”

“Don’t tell her that,” Maddie huffs, rolling her eyes.

“Anyway, baby girl, only about a month and half until we finally get to meet you. Hope you’re cool with having a traditionally boys name.”

Maddie laughs as he moves back up to a standing position, bringing her fingers to brush over his cheek for just a second.

“You’re an idiot sometimes, you know.”

“Oh, I definitely no that.”

“But,” she giggles, “you’re going to be an amazing daddy, Chimney.”