the reason jughead is a master queerbaiter is because his dad was the bitch from scream so it runs in the family its like bettys serial killer gene

“because singing killed my grandma okay?!?!” is genuinely the type of line that gets said on riverdale every other scene and never gets acknowledged again

riverdale is a lethal type of brain parasite

genuinely i admire that riverdale is so funny While you watch it and then gets really serious as soon as you step back and think about it more. it honestly really works as a thematic tie-in to the dark underbelly of the american dream. by failing to take any of it seriously you are, in the context of the show, choosing the funny, stupid idea of riverdale over the harrowing realities lying underneath it

jughead would have thrived writing letters to his gay lover with a quill and ink in the 1800s

boy quiet. boy you want some baxter brothers

if i was given one wish to change one thing about riverdale it would be to give it a soundtrack that doesnt totally fucking suck